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March 2WW


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#51 pinki

Posted 25 March 2012 - 01:58 AM

QUOTE (*musical* @ 24/03/2012, 08:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You truly don't get it....and you can't......because even through you've been through it.......that's my point.....you've come through it cause you have a child already!

You cannot understand my emotions right now!

I'm done here.  I'm spent, and can't give anymore



    Musical...


I haven't posted here before but after reading your post tonight I thought it was time.. I can't say I know exactly how you feel but if It was anything like I just went through this month my heart goes out to you...I've never experienced such wretched grief and dissapointment.. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.. I think thoses of us who keep getting the BFN month after month.. negative after negative makes it so much harder to go on...I keep wishing to see 2 lines even once.. just a bit of hope would go along way...

I know it would then bring on a whole new world of worries but even that is better than nothing.. I didn't even have enough strength to join the march 2ww for my first IVF. I didn't think I had it in me to give anything to anyone else..  i'm quilty of lurking here but i have been holding out hopes for you all.. especially you musical..If you are done I understand and being spent just seems to go hand and hand with IF but know that if you need someone who will listen and someone to lean on i'm here...


FYI I'm almost 36 and never had my BFP either... been TTC #1 for 4 yrs..

#52 zoimeister

Posted 25 March 2012 - 08:26 AM

This journey is very hard, its even harder when everyone around you falls pregnant. My thing is everyone I befriend falls pregnant with IVF on the first go, then i need to steer clear for a while as i cant handle it. Call it coincidence or whatever, but maybe the universe is telling me stick to supporting women on their ivf journey and my time will never come. Honestly i cant even recall how many times this has hapenned. Its a long road, its unfair. I think we need to hang in there, we have to...

#53 Hoping4a2012baby

Posted 26 March 2012 - 05:26 AM

Dear Musical,

All the very best wishes for your BT today.  Thinking of you. xx

#54 CheriDeMomie

Posted 26 March 2012 - 06:46 AM

Muscial please don't leave. These TTC groups are supportive and the girls are wonderful and I'm sure the post was meant to support you and try to empathise with you not offend you. Big hugs, nobody can imagine what anyone has been through - with regards to any situation that is filled with grief. And grief is ongoing and it sounds like you are going through a grieving process at the long TTC journey. This must be hard as you grieve and continue to TTC. Hope you are ok. I truly believe babies come when they are meant to and have heard many a miracle baby after years of trying. Good luck. I am sure it will happen for you x

#55 *musical*

Posted 26 March 2012 - 10:26 PM

The support is obvious enough.....but to be honest.....for me ATM it isn't enough. Sorry.  

  Even getting in to do a BT was soooo hard today....because,the cycle is over,what's the point....the form says hcg,so they always say something  .... I checked opening hours, then, when I rushed off in lunch break for me..... They had taken an early lunch break and weren't there....so had to skip a meeting to go after again....then, they had the nerve to say....might not get in, have to get going as they travel to our town....but I insisted.  Then of course clinic calls to query why the results weren't to  them yet as expected!!  All this to have the pleasure of a BT to confirm the horrible agony I'm going through!  Not even a whiff of a poisitve.....soooo much money, heartache, time off work, which  makes life harder.  

Clinic calling back tomorrow arvo for a chat...l. What's the point ? Where we live we don't have another option..... I don't want t change clinic....but I want some success!    

Waiting for some 'miracle' is not what I imagined....... I want what every other TOM d*ck and w*n*er can do when drunk!   It shouldn't be is hard....and I can't comprehend why we are having to suffer like this!  What the hell is wrong with us or this world?

Ive never drunk, or smoke, or done ANYTHING wrong!  

And for the record...... I AM Still painfully not happy for people who are Parents already saying to me...it will all work out in time.  YOu don't know that, and it feels condescending, not supportive.  It feels smug!  I know that is hurtful and I'm sorry, but you don't get it and you can't! You have what you desired.....Ihave only more pain,more unclear pathways, more bitterness toward the world In general.  This isn't healthy, but why the hell can't I feel angry and bitter.  

And I can't sleep because I'm sobbing, nd don't even want to feel touched by my husband..... I'm despising his presence and then craving it the next moment!  He can't  win.

#56 pinki

Posted 27 March 2012 - 11:17 PM

QUOTE (*musical* @ 26/03/2012, 08:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The support is obvious enough.....but to be honest.....for me ATM it isn't enough. Sorry.  

  Even getting in to do a BT was soooo hard today....because,the cycle is over,what's the point....the form says hcg,so they always say something  .... I checked opening hours, then, when I rushed off in lunch break for me..... They had taken an early lunch break and weren't there....so had to skip a meeting to go after again....then, they had the nerve to say....might not get in, have to get going as they travel to our town....but I insisted.  Then of course clinic calls to query why the results weren't to  them yet as expected!!  All this to have the pleasure of a BT to confirm the horrible agony I'm going through!  Not even a whiff of a poisitve.....soooo much money, heartache, time off work, which  makes life harder.  

Clinic calling back tomorrow arvo for a chat...l. What's the point ? Where we live we don't have another option..... I don't want t change clinic....but I want some success!    

Waiting for some 'miracle' is not what I imagined....... I want what every other TOM d*ck and w*n*er can do when drunk!   It shouldn't be is hard....and I can't comprehend why we are having to suffer like this!  What the hell is wrong with us or this world?

Ive never drunk, or smoke, or done ANYTHING wrong!  

And for the record...... I AM Still painfully not happy for people who are Parents already saying to me...it will all work out in time.  YOu don't know that, and it feels condescending, not supportive.  It feels smug!  I know that is hurtful and I'm sorry, but you don't get it and you can't! You have what you desired.....Ihave only more pain,more unclear pathways, more bitterness toward the world In general.  This isn't healthy, but why the hell can't I feel angry and bitter.  

And I can't sleep because I'm sobbing, nd don't even want to feel touched by my husband..... I'm despising his presence and then craving it the next moment!  He can't  win.

  

I'm so sorry....my heart goes out to you..i don't wish that kind of grief on anyone... take all the time you need to be angry and hurt. you have every right to be... just know we are here for you when you are ready and try and take care of yourself... this isn't your fault and it's nothing you did or deserved. IF is a disease and all we can do is look for the cure..

#57 emski72

Posted 28 March 2012 - 05:41 PM

Hi all,

having my first transfer tomorrow so no doubt will be in here in coniptions at some stage in the next two weeks!

Looking forward to getting to know you all

Em x

#58 angieB75

Posted 29 March 2012 - 04:20 PM

I'm off for my insemination this arvo - fingers crossed for third time lucky on the IUI stakes.

Thought I'd share the following that I read today - hopefully bring some smiles to you all.

angieB xx

Words of Infertility...

Psycho-symptom-atic Syndrome - a psychosomatic condition afflicting women during the two-week waiting period; marked by a tendency to incorrectly attribute every bodily twinge and twitch to the early stages of pregnancy.

Pregsplotion - the sudden abundance of pregnant women in your vicinity within hours of your negative pregnancy test.

Coitus timeruptus - the practice of timing intercourse to correspond with the timing of ovulation.

Coinus interruptus - the impact of infertility treatments on one's pocketbook.

Indifferent costimulus - the need during intercourse for her to concentrate on fertilizing and him to avoid all thoughts of fertility/infertility and just come.

Mucusology - the inexact science of attempting to determine the timing of ovulation.

Rigorous mortis - loss of interest in sex due to lack of spontaneity in timing.

Male sex drive - something constantly in motion, but shuts down completely from his wife's cycle days 10-16, because, after all, what's the use...

Clearpit Easy - bottomless pit into which women hurl buckets of money while repeatedly testing for pregnancy way too early or while testing for an LH surge.

Assincline - the odd-looking practice of elevating a woman's buttocks after intercourse in order to maximize the sperm's ability to swim for the egg.

Hubincline - the odd-looking practice of placing a woman's buttocks on her husband's back after intercourse in order to maximize the sperm's ability to swim for the egg.

Gluteus Unrelaximus - side effect of the uncomfortable act of propping up the buttocks after baby-sex.

Butt-proposition - the act of having one's butt up on pillows and trying to look graceful in that position.

Mucuscide - having mucus that kills your darling husband's sperm.

Lubiscus - embarassingly goopy wet feeling after an uncomfortably intimate examination or procedure.

Day-one-dering - wondering why oh why you have to deal with "day one", yet again!

Preconception - the insane belief that you will get pregnant before you have to do IVF.

Petri dish - a womb with a view (for IVFers).

Multiple Dwarf Syndrome - a state caused by the ups and downs of fertility treatments, characterized by describing oneself as some combination of grumpy, sleepy, dopey, bashful, etc; especially effective descriptor if you include what we like to call the "alternative dwarves," such as horny, b**chy, barfy, crampy, etc.

Laying the PIPE DREAMS - the vain hope that if you just relax and enjoy the ride you might actually get pregnant.

Naturalism - the pathetic belief that any egg produced when your doctor wasn't expecting it (e.g. not induced by HCG, not induced by fertility drugs, etc.) is miraculously more fertile than the rest, as though somehow your medical care is specifically causing your infertility. (Also known as "A watched egg never fertilizes syndrome".)

Eggsploited - what those undergoing any reproductive treatments are by the insurane companies and clinics.



#59 *Harmony*

Posted 30 March 2012 - 10:38 AM

Emski72, good luck with your transfer today! And thanks for the 'Words of fertility' angieB75 - definitely put a smile on my face! Sending lots of babydust and sticky vibes to the both of you.  original.gif  

I will hopefully be joining in the TWW BG tomorrow after my day 5 transfer. Look forward to chatting with you all!

#60 think~positive

Posted 30 March 2012 - 07:44 PM

Hi ladies

Well my AF arrived in full force today so I am out this cycle. I'm not sure if my clinic will still do the blood test or not but I am pretty confident it will be a BFN for me.

We will try again in a few months.

Good luck to everyone - I hope you all get your deserved BFPs soon xxx

#61 *Harmony*

Posted 31 March 2012 - 05:13 PM

So sorry to hear that Think-Positive. Sending big hugs your way  bbighug.gif   Hope you get your well deserved BFP soon too original.gif

Harmony x

Edited by *Harmony*, 31 March 2012 - 05:36 PM.


#62 Magenta_

Posted 31 March 2012 - 06:38 PM

Hi ThinkPositive,

I'm so sorry it didn't work this time round.  Hope you are ok.  hhugs.gif


Magenta XX

#63 Magenta_

Posted 31 March 2012 - 06:52 PM

Hi ThinkPositive,

I'm so sorry it didn't work this time round.  Hope you are ok.  hhugs.gif


Magenta XX


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