When did you start feeling middle-aged?
and what did this mean for you?
, Feb 25 2012 05:28 AM
38 replies to this topic
Posted 19 March 2012 - 07:19 AM
Lucky 2, I'm surprised you're nearly 50! I assumed you were only mid 30's.
I'm 38 this year and I am starting to feel old and decrepit. Things creak which never used to and my back is sore a lot since having my baby who will ONLY be carried on my left hip and is nearly 2, so not tiny.
Knees crack and getting down on the floor with a toddler isn't as easy as it used to be.
I SHOULD have had a baby in my mid 20's but hindsight is a wonderful thing, huh? lol.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 07:44 AM
I'm 40 and feel a bit like Tamm. It's not so much the age, but the stage of life that makes me feel old and boring sometimes. I have everything I ever dreamed of and am not complaining..... but the responsibility and the lack of freedom that come with child rearing and a big mortgage can feel smothering, and I have 10-15 years more of it.
Some days that I really feel the middle aged aches and pains, and hope to God I'm still in good enough shape to enjoy life once the kids have grown up.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 07:54 AM
Im turning 30 this year and I feel very old and definitely middle-aged. My body is totally different to how it used to be. its incredibly depressing.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 08:06 AM
I'm turning 40 this year, I don't feel remotely middle aged. Maybe it will switch on when I hit my birthday? Sometimes I feel like I am now a 'grown up', or a woman rather than a girl, but not middle aged - does that make any sense at all?
Me too... I am about to turn 41 and I don't feel old as such, but I'm beginning to realise that I must be getting older as I care less and less about what other people think. It's kind of liberating. On the other hand though, I am a bit sad that I'm not in my 30's any more, I think that was the best decade. Old enough to be confident and wiser, but young enough to enjoy yourself still.
The medical issues are beginning too... I have a bunion for heaven's sake
My grandma had those. Now THAT is scary.
I also have small children again, thanks to a second marriage, and I can relate to the PP's who talk about responsibility and workload being suffocating. I have been a mother since I was 21, so it's been my entire adult life, and will be most of the rest of it. I know of course 'mothering' never really ends though, and it was my own choice so I shouldn't complain. Some days though I want to just walk off and leave it all behind. That really WOULD be a midlife crisis, I guess!
Posted 19 March 2012 - 08:13 AM
When I started having peri-menopausal symptoms a couple of years ago (when I was 41).
Impact: Made me feel quite mortal and that time was running out, made me go 'wtf am I doing' and make some radical changes in my life to get to a better place for me mentally (and therefore physically, drinking dropped dramatically, comfort eating nearly gone).
Edited by LambChop, 19 March 2012 - 08:13 AM.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 08:15 AM
I skipped middle age and now I feel old. I think it is just that I had children late in life, 41 and 42 and now that DS has started school, I am surrounded by mums that are so much younger than me. That makes me feel old. I think I experienced what Tammlam is going through when I turned 30. The one thing I have found is that when I begin to feel like I am "treading water" something happens to turn my world upside down and force remarkable change....so hang in there Tamm, something fabulous is just around the corner!
Edited by Monket, 19 March 2012 - 08:17 AM.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 08:19 AM
I'm not finding myself more "comfortable" in myself, more confident or more accepting of anything about myself. In fact, I'd say, in the last 10 yrs, I've gone backwards. My happiest with myself and my life years were probably my late 20's to mid - 30's. I was confident in myself and happy to take chances and have a go at things and change direction etc. I still had the motivation and drive to study and do exciting things and had goals and aspirations....These days? I just feel like I'm treading water. I can't be bothered planning too much ahead and I just dont' have the motivation to further my career as I'd have to juggle my life WAY too much and I woudln't say I'm lacking in practical "energy" as such, but I am certainly lacking in mental energy. Everytime I think "oh - I could do that!" I then realise that it would just be one more darn thing I'd have to try to fit into my life and where would it lead me anyway? I can't race off and do too much, I have my kids and loads of family responsibilities that can't just be shoved aside at a whim.
On the other hand? I am SO thrilled to have my family and children. I couldn't imagine my life without my kids and sometimes, my heart aches with how much I love them.
I'm not finding any great things about my body starting to fall apart with the aging process frankly. It p*sses me off that I had to get glasses to read comfortably a year ago. I hate the aches and pains that I now get becuase of my childhood injuries are catching up with me (not badly, but I just can't move around like I used to be able to take for granted)
Middle aged sucks...sorry - but it does
PS: I'm not really a cranky old thing...truly...I guess I am just a bit frustrated at how quickly the past 20 + yrs have gone and I so wish I'd started having kids a bit earlier....mind you, we DID try..We started ttc when I was 34 but didn't have a child till I was 38...long story!
Word-for-word I feel the same!!!
I feel old and middle aged - I watch the 20 somethings at work who are out there and sprinting ahead. I think ,well, that was me until I had kids. I feel I ducked out of life for ten years to child reproduce/rear/raise my kids. That little kid phase dominated my life while the rest of the world along with Father Time marched on. When I 'resurfaced' I was suddenly 38, but still mentally logged in at 28, and I clung viciously to the fact I WAS NOT 40. I would tell myself I wasn't old and that having a young child was testimony to that - who was I kidding? My 40th birthday was a write-off; I was that sick with the flu (timing eh?). I am 42 now and still not comfortable with my age. I am consciously aware of time marching on so I put all my effort into my kids. I don't want to look back at 50 and think 'how did I miss that?" My career aspirations have all but resigned and I now soldier on in a lesser position- it's a job for money and not a career for fulfillment.
It is a double-edged sword for me and clearly a mid-life crisis!
Edited by mum2five, 19 March 2012 - 08:21 AM.
Posted 19 March 2012 - 08:26 AM
I don't know if I feel middle-aged, but I definitely feel old - and I'm 22 lol...
Started feeling like this when I fell pregnant with my 3rd and I was watching all the other 20 somethings have an actual life lol...
Posted 19 March 2012 - 09:41 AM
Funny- I felt like that at 26- and have been feeling that for the past four years (am 30 now).
I am looking forward to being middle-aged as it possibly means having kids and a family to focus on... I hate being in the middle of this transition of recovering from having fun in the 20's and starting to take real life responsibilities...
Happy about what I have done, but looking forward to the next stage... it's gonna go fast so best make the most of it!
EDIT to say I see young 20-somethings in various positions appearing as though they are streaking ahead... but I am much more happier in my Senior role and in the CBD without the stress of managing staff... in terms of Career this is exactly where I want to be!
Edited by bagelbagel81, 19 March 2012 - 09:42 AM.
Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:33 PM
I felt middle-aged in my late 30's - my attitudes changed slightly - though I have felt a sense of urgency about getting things done in life since my early 30's.
Being with a younger partner for ten years, only served to magnify the rate at which I was growing/changing as a person (he, sadly, remained stunted).
I left him a couple of weeks after my 40th birthday.
Now, I feel filled with vitality, and am surprised at my self-assuredness. I look like sh*t, but I'm looking forward to my future.
Posted 10 April 2012 - 05:45 PM
I'm a fit and healthy 45 year old so inside I feel young at heart.
It's only when things happen (like when a car salesman 2 year ago when I queried him about the child harness hook for my new car asked if that was for a grandchild!!! or when the youthful 28 year old mayor where I work remembered me reading him stories as a child) that I start to feel rather old!!!
As many have said before it is all a state of mind and I feel youthful and vibran and certainly not "middle-aged"
Posted 11 April 2012 - 09:36 AM
I hate that I'm so much older than most of the other prep mums. When did that happen? When my older children started school, I was a youngish mum, but if you keep having children, you soon become the old Mum, and everyone at school pick up looks so damn young!! Now I'm pregnant at 44, I dread to think how I'll feel at school pick up with this little one.
I hate that my age is creeping up, but I dont feel particularly old. My body doesn't feel different, but I'm more concerned with long term health than I used to be, and I agree that you realize some ideas are just not worth the effort it would take to have a go. That's probably more about juggling the demands of ayoung family, though. I sometimes look at my friends without children, or those who had their children very young, and think how different my life would be if I had their freedom. Of course, I'd never give up the life I have. I just hope that when my children are independent, I will have the opportunities for travel/study etc. It's easy to feel as though my life is 'on hold' while the children are young.
Posted 16 September 2012 - 05:38 PM
Not my group but I saw it in the "discussing" bar...
I'm 43 and I still feel young not middle aged at all.
I think it's a state of mind personally.
Posted 16 September 2012 - 05:39 PM
When the shop assistants called you "Madam" and when the policemen are younger than some of the pantihose I have.
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