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Stop the over-scheduled train


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#26 Guest_NinjahKitteh_*

Posted 25 February 2012 - 12:54 PM

QUOTE
"For those who work and manage a few more hours of adult time while their children are cared for in out of school hours of elsewhere, lucky you. You’re probably having your afternoon coffee about now. For the rest of us the long haul before bedtime now begins."

This statement makes my blood boil......  

You really do have it tough don't you Amity


+1

Try getting everyone up, ready and out of the house by 6:45am, dropping kids at before-school care, stuffing around commuting for an hour, working all day, commuting again, picking kids up from after-school care, getting home and feeding, bathing, supervising homework etc. and then into bed, only to crash into bed so you can wake up and do it all again tomorrow.

Oh, and the kids are upset because you work so they miss out on those after-school activities, and you provide the only income for your family so can't afford them anyway.

Yeah, my heart bleeds for you.

mad.gif


Edited by NinjahKitteh, 25 February 2012 - 12:57 PM.


#27 Tofu Puff

Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:22 PM

We looked at what extra curricular activities were available literally down the road from us and chose accordingly. There are a couple of things DD would like to do but they involve a half hour drive after school and that just ain't going to happen.

Some music tutors will come to your house which could be an option.

#28 Guest_NinjahKitteh_*

Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:33 PM

FWIW, despite my bit of a rant above, I whole-heartedly agree on mornings.  They suck, whether you're doing it at 6:30 or 7:30 in the morning - lost shoes, unfinished readers, running out of bread for sandwiches, kids using the last of the milk in cereal and NOT LEAVING MUMMY ANY FOR HER COFFEE!!!  Disaster all round, really.

biggrin.gif



#29 EBeditor

Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:54 PM

I think amity did make it clear in her initial post that she had dropped a few activities, so it is a bit redundant to tell her again.

I read it as a lighthearted post and with empathy having a child the same age, daycare pick up was a doddle compared to the 2 pick ups we have now, unpacking all the lunch boxes, fishing out the millions of school notes, remembering the books on library day etc.

Throw extra curricular activities in there an life can get complicated. Sure, it's not rocket surgery but you do have to be a hell of a lot more organized.

Finally, to those suggesting Amity should get a job, she has  been touring SA with her musical (late nights, early mornings with kids) as well as other performing, voice over and writing commitments.

It's always the posts you don't expect to be controversial that surprise you wink.gif

#30 raven74

Posted 25 February 2012 - 03:14 PM

Amity, I don't get why these things are just so hard for you. Hard enough to be blog worthy? I don't see it.  shrug.gif

#31 gemmaw

Posted 25 February 2012 - 03:48 PM

Amity I agree with your post as I see lots of mums with overscheduled kids where I live. For us I've chosen that my kids can do 1 activity outside of kinder/school. And for us at this stage it is swimming lessons. But I have felt the pressure for them to do more as there is so much I want them to experience, have a go at and/or explore to see whether they like it or have any talent for it! But it is just too exhausting and too much for everyday life at the moment.

So yes I agree that for some people scaling back is a good idea. It is something I am mindful about before committing to playdates, birthday parties, after school activities, part time work for myself and other social gatherings.





#32 RichardParker

Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:07 PM

A feminist critique of that post would have to include an admonishment to stop defining your life by how you cater to other people's needs, and then you might have something more blog-worthy to write about.

And the turning point  should be linked to some thought-changing moment - the 'blue page'.  What happened?  Did you find yourself screaming at him to hurry up and stop looking at rainbows because "WE NEED to get to cricket practice so I will feel like a good mother"?  Whatever, just something a bit more poignant than 'I realised my son was doing too many activities so I decided to cut back.'

#33 Overtherainbow

Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:08 PM

Sorry but I don't get your post.  

I have 3 chn including one with additional needs.  We do 5 after school/weekend activities plus each child learns an instrument.  I work a 50-60 hour week and have the children in the office with me 3 afternoons a week (yep 3:00 coffee and adult time what a stupid comment).  

I don't fight my kids in the morning because I refuse to.  We have a routine and everything is sorted the night before.  After school is a juggle of working while keeping kids fed and amused, homework x3, music x3, therapy for child, afterschool sports, cooking, baths, housework.

I sleep 5-6 hours on weeknights.  I'm exausted but at least my sleep is not disturbed (unless kids are sick) like it was with babies.  Each age and stage has difficulties but I think life is better if we can focus on the positives.  Baby and toddler stage flew by, I want to enjoy the school stage.



#34 HelenaHandbasket

Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:12 PM

QUOTE
This post was simply an invitation to discuss which stage you find more challenging.


I think your invitation got lost amongst the 'waaaah, poor me!'

Maybe EB should pay me to write a blog instead....

#35 EBeditor

Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:24 PM

You're welcome to submit An article for consideration space kitty. Editor@essentialbaby.com.au

#36 StopTheGoats

Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:32 PM

Why all the Amity hate?

EB has been fired up by something as stupid as frozen sandwiches. Surely in response to a post like this we can do a bit of "no MY life is harder. I'm a thermonuclear engineer with 25 children, 5 Mormon husbands and a thriving business in play dough production and you there with your newborn and your little coffee breaks have it easy. Also, bogan".

#37 Guest_NinjahKitteh_*

Posted 25 February 2012 - 05:29 PM

No Amity-hate here, OldMajor, and it was only this paragraph:

QUOTE
For those who work and manage a few more hours of adult time while their children are cared for in out of school hours of elsewhere, lucky you. You’re probably having your afternoon coffee about now. For the rest of us the long haul before bedtime now begins.


that annoyed me.  Those of us who are "lucky" enough to be at work simply have to do that whole "long haul before bedtime" in triple-time and after working all day and not having those 6 hours completely to ourselves all day!

I do agree that over-scheduling is a problem, but it's also pretty much a self-inflicted one, so the solution is really quite simple - slow down and smell the roses!





#38 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 25 February 2012 - 09:32 PM

QUOTE (EBeditor @ 25/02/2012, 02:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Finally, to those suggesting Amity should get a job, she has  been touring SA with her musical (late nights, early mornings with kids) as well as other performing, voice over and writing commitments.


Eh? So why the snide snark towards "lucky" working parents?

#39 LeeBee8

Posted 26 February 2012 - 08:13 AM

Yep it's hard to juggle all these things we do with & for our children, but why as Mother's do we have to constantly outline, each job we do on a daily basis. Instead of just saying "Yeah life is busy with the kids" we have to list every job, activity & outing, until we have this rediculously long list of tasks that's exhausting just to read. And I'm guilty of it too  rolleyes.gif
Everyone knows how busy Mums are, working & stay at home.

You know the grass is always greener on the other side, so they say. Working Mum's wish they could be at home more with thier children, and Stay at home Mum's wish they could be at work sometimes "for a break". But in reality neither is easy, and we all do what we have to do to feed, clothe, house & give our families the best we possibly can.

If we really think about it, we probably have it easier than say our grandparents era, because mother's did it all on thier own. Now, our husbands help out (even if we think they don't do much), we have computers, dishwashers, washing machines, dryers ect.

I think we need to learn to delligate more & complain less. After all we do it because we love our kids, and one day they'll be all grown up & wont need us like they do now. We should try and enjoy it while we can.

I say all this now, but tomorrow morning the ranting to get ready for school will start all over again  wacko.gif




#40 libbylu

Posted 26 February 2012 - 09:18 PM

Sorry, I completely disagree.  My 5 year old may be tired and hungry and a little grumpier in these first few weeks of school than usual, and sure there is extra work associated with making school lunches which I could happily do without, but it is not a patch on the hellish year that was his babyhood - with waking 5 times a night, regular screaming, general fussiness and feeding issues nor does it compare with his highly strung toddler years marred by tantrums, extreme clingyness and more sleep battles.  My little fellow is really developing into a charming, polite, confident, independent and interesting child who is just such good company in general.  He gets easier to manage and more fun to be around as each year passes.

#41 BetteBoop

Posted 26 February 2012 - 09:34 PM

I'm an under-scheduler.

DD has attended a handful of classes/activities in her almost 5 years of life. I am a big believer in the power of free play and imagination. So while friends were enrolling their kids in swimming lessons and gymboree, we'd go to the pool and splash each other or play on the monkey bars.

I've had comments about her being 'left behind' because simply everyone must put toddlers into LOTE classes. Apparently it increases their neural pathways and that means they will be 9 times smarter than the other kids.

DD has friends who have activities every afternoon after school and Saturday morning. It makes me sad for those kids.

#42 apophenia

Posted 27 February 2012 - 12:25 PM

The thing I found hardest about having school aged children was the bullying. Babyhood is certainly more demanding, and much harder physically. But I hated the feeling of helplessness of not being able to protect my child from bullies.
There were three girls in particular. At one point the mother of one of these girls rang me to complain about something my child had said. when i asked my child, it turned out her comment was in response to threats of physical violence by this other, older, bigger girl. When I mentioned this to the mother, she said " yes, but..."
Yes, but. She knew what her daughter was doing and she considered it outrageous my child should respond to her child's bullying?
Not just the girls, but the parents, thought my child deserved to be ridiculed, humiliated and threatened.

At least when they were babies I knew they were safe with me.



#43 LifesGood

Posted 28 February 2012 - 07:35 AM

QUOTE (BetteBoop @ 26/02/2012, 10:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm an under-scheduler.

DD has attended a handful of classes/activities in her almost 5 years of life. I am a big believer in the power of free play and imagination. So while friends were enrolling their kids in swimming lessons and gymboree, we'd go to the pool and splash each other or play on the monkey bars.

+1 (except we do swimming lessons)

Actually, I have just registered DD for soccer....and am thinking about pulling her out already, before they have even started unsure.gif




#44 Kant Anchor Us

Posted 28 February 2012 - 07:52 AM

I must be in the minority because I realised that Amity was tongue in cheek with the sentence about 3pm coffee and I see what she was trying to do in starting a discussion. But I think it highlights the fact that many of us would see her as a celebrity mum and therefore not really relate to her and be annoyed when she 'complains' about things that we cant even afford. It could seem like she has an easy job as an EB blogger compared to what a lot of us do and she hasnt done a particularly good job of blogging this time around.
I have read some of her other posts though and thought that she is normally a good writer. But people prefer to read blogs about things they can relate to and many of us had a really really hard time when our kids were babies and really struggle juggling work and parenting, or even finding childcare or finding a job or paying our bills, so a problem like too many activities seems very trivial by comparison.

Edited by Soccer Mum, 28 February 2012 - 07:53 AM.


#45 AmityD

Posted 28 February 2012 - 04:30 PM

Thanks for your reply Soccer Mum and for appreciating what I was trying to say, even if perhaps I wasn't as eloquent in expressing it as I would have liked to be!  

Interesting point about others not relating to me because I am a 'celebrity' mum, because I can assure you I am nothing of the sort! My job as an EB blogger is only a very small part of the work I do. I also write shows, perform in and produce them, tour manage, perform in corporate shows with my band, do lots of charity work and occasionally work in my husbands event management business when things are particularly busy. So I get the life of a busy working mum and my comment about the 3pm coffee was pure tongue in cheek, coming from the perspective of someone who mostly works from home, rather than someone who doesn't work at all.

I have written so many posts over the years about the challenges of the baby stage and this one was in no way making light of how hard that time is. It was just discussing the completely different challenges of a new stage I have entered into. The challenges of school kids are, in my experience, no where near as emotionally demanding, but there is a hell of a lot more driving around and organisation required. And as some one who is not blessed with being naturally organised that is a challenge for me!!

Of course it's not the biggest problem in the world, not even remotely close. It was just one topic of discussion in the many I have written about over the years.

Interestingly, the unexpected reaction has inspired me to write a post about something I have been thinking about for a few weeks, but was spurred on to write yesterday. So look out for that one in the coming days and hopefully you will think I did a better job with that one. original.gif  


QUOTE (Soccer Mum @ 28/02/2012, 07:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I must be in the minority because I realised that Amity was tongue in cheek with the sentence about 3pm coffee and I see what she was trying to do in starting a discussion. But I think it highlights the fact that many of us would see her as a celebrity mum and therefore not really relate to her and be annoyed when she 'complains' about things that we cant even afford. It could seem like she has an easy job as an EB blogger compared to what a lot of us do and she hasnt done a particularly good job of blogging this time around.
I have read some of her other posts though and thought that she is normally a good writer. But people prefer to read blogs about things they can relate to and many of us had a really really hard time when our kids were babies and really struggle juggling work and parenting, or even finding childcare or finding a job or paying our bills, so a problem like too many activities seems very trivial by comparison.






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