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Need a man's perspective
someone openly hates your wife


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#1 snappy tom

Posted 21 February 2012 - 08:36 PM

Someone is going through a really tough time right now.  Really tough.  He needs people to blame, I'm one of them.  That's fine, while not reasonable, it's not terribly important that he hates me under the circumstances and I'm actually more worried about his well being than worried that he hates me.

Anyway, he sent my husband a text asking him to forward to me - saying he hopes he gets the chance to repay me (in a bad way) and he wishes nothing but the worst for me, he hates my guts, never wants to see me again etc.

My husband arranged to visit him, told me about the message then asked did I want to read it - of course I said yes.

Anyway, I'm really really hurt my husband couldn't at least have said - 'Hey!  That's my missus your talking about!'   I know I'd never get away with talking badly about his family (I pointed this out, he said that I'm speculating, but he has very sternly told me not to talk badly of his family in the past)  He thinks It's nothing to do with him, why should I be upset with him over something his mate said?

I feel unimportant.  Again.  sad.gif

So, would most men be fine with this, nothing to do with them who wishes their wife 'the worst'  Would you be going for a friendly visit?

I actually think his friend needs him right now, so I'd be fine with him visiting - but I'd at least like b**ching and hating on me to be off limits.  

My husband says he doesn't care about his friends issues, so he didn't not say anything out of fear of pushing him that bit too far.

Please don't quote me, I'd like to delete this if I can



#2 EoinCuinn

Posted 23 February 2012 - 07:34 PM

Not on. I understand this bloke is having a rough time, but jeese, there's a line.



#3 bubblebear

Posted 23 February 2012 - 07:40 PM

I don't think that's how anyone should speak about someone else. By all means your DH should support him if he's going through a rough time, but that should extend as far as disrespecting you.

#4 Red Cabbage

Posted 23 February 2012 - 07:45 PM

It seems he feels you have betrayed him, and he doesn't want to see you again. I don't think he has overstepped to be honest, he didn't say he was going to hurt you or threaten you in any way.

Without having all the information, its hard for me to say if his feelings are warranted or not.

#5 Buff Daddy

Posted 29 February 2012 - 11:34 AM

Nope - no one would get away with talking to my DW like that.   rant.gif

OK, sounds like this person is having a tough time, but that is no excuse.

Buff   biggrin.gif

#6 Lemmings

Posted 05 March 2012 - 08:39 PM

I would definitely expect my DF so say something, Thats really not on and I think he should stand up for you

#7 Jennamoriss

Posted 12 May 2012 - 11:40 PM

get over it,if you don`t try...time will solve this problem

#8 hannahsmummy

Posted 12 May 2012 - 11:57 PM

hi

i have the same problem.. my dh has never once stood up for me with his friends or his family...

i feel exactly the same way that in the great scheme of things i come last...

i have come to the realisation though that they can only bother me if i let them..

hopefully he will get over whatever he has against you and apologise..

tanya

#9 Tobias'smum

Posted 13 May 2012 - 12:18 AM

I get why you r upset it depends say if it was my husbands friend some i wouldnt let it bother me as they can be like that sometimes and have had hard times in the past and got upset my hubby didnt visit as he was helping me with a neck injury. but others i know he would put them in their place including his family acouple times i have not wanted to say something for fear of overstepping so he tells them off for me.




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