Jump to content

What time does your 3yo go to sleep?
huge sleep issues atm.

  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#1 firsttimemummy18

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:12 PM

What time does your 3yo go to sleep?  And do they still have a day nap?

DD is falling asleep close to 9pm every night, after huge tantrums, and we HAVE to lay down with her otherwise she will just keep sitting up.  She wakes between 6-7 every morning.

I am trying to cut out the day sleep, but if we are in the car she will fall asleep anyway, and she does get very tired around noon.  If I can keep her going, she does get a second wind, but this doesn't always mean she will fall asleep easily either.  If she does sleep, I will always wake her up after an hour. (otherwise bed time can be 10pm!!)

DH and I are exhausted... DS is an early riser (5:30/6) and we feel like we are just not getting any time to be together by ourselves.  

For those that suggest sitting next to the bed, and getting further away each week or something.. we have tried... she WILL NOT stop screaming unless we are laying down with her, and often we have to pretend to be asleep too.  I can't tell if the problem stems because she is just not tired... or if she is tired but just refusing to sleep...

What do we do??/ We are going crazy!  Any advice would be appreciated.


#2 bettymm

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 PM

Gosh, i could have written your post word for word!  WE have a DD who is 3 and are going through the exact same thing.  DH is in with her right now actually (its 9.15)  til she falls asleep.  ITs useless trying to escape before she is really out to it as she will jsut continue to get out of bed and call out for us.

Its the same thing for us whether she has had a day nap or not.  We just start putting her to bed a little earlier if she hasnt napped.  

I know a few mums with 3 yr olds who are doing the same thing and i think they will grow out of it soon enough.  DH actually takes his ipod and a pillow in there and just chills out for a while .  It just means that we are going to bed really late coz we like to watch a movie or hang out a bit after the kids have gone to bed

so sorry, we are in the same boat!

#3 gabbigirl

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:21 PM

Sounds similar to our situation, and we just went with it after me screaming out of frustration at her to go to bed, but she just wasn't tired. (our DD is 3.5)

But to answer your original question, if she has had a day sleep bed time can be as late as 9pm, if no day sleep she crashes by 7pm.  it's about 4 days/week she has a day sleep.

On those days where she has had a day sleep we just ask that she let us have dinner, or tidy up and she can watch TV or play quietly.  She still likes to hang off us but if we can get stuff done we're ok with that.

And she likes us to be in the room, touching us while she falls asleep.  Another battle I am not prepared to have.  I just go with it as it takes @ 10mins.

Together time is a rarity for us too.  good luck.

#4 mummame

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:21 PM

I have had the same problem with my DS who is also 3. He has been a shocker for ages. If he has a sleep he will stay up till so late and will not even appear tired, talking like 9:30pm-10pm. Today I did not let him sleep and he was down for the night at 7pm, so far so good. I think its time to let the day sleep go for us, otherwise he is just too rested at bed time. I know how you feel about no time for yourself, its very frustrating. My DS is very strong willed too, so even if I am firm about bedtime he will just keep coming out of his room and tantruming!

#5 KristyMum-

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:25 PM

no true day sleep since about 18mths or less.

Q might fall asleep if we're going/coming home from somewhere which is hard bc then he is up later (but never used to be a prob for him from about 19mths-2yrs).

But on a normal day, about 7pm

so yep, sounds like it's time to get rid of the day sleep

#6 QueenIanthe

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:26 PM

My 3 year old goes to bed around 7:45 but he shares with his sister so they usually chat for a while so sometimes it is 9pm before he sleeps. He is up around 7am. He still has a sleep most days for a couple of hours. He is a nightmare if he doesn't nap. That transition from the day sleep to not having one can be a tough one.

#7 imamumto3

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:27 PM

we have had to drop dds nap or she would be up till all hours.  it has worked for us.  she now goes down between 7 -7:30 and wakes about 7am

#8 mombasa

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:30 PM

No day sleep here, DD goes to bed at 7pm and wakes up anywhere between 7 and 8am.

#9 Nobody Cool

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:32 PM

My two year old is like this and has not had day naps since he was 19 months. The odd day (like today) when he woke up super early and had a nap at midday means that he is up until 9:30 - 10 pm.

Sounds like your little one needs to drop the nap as well.

#10 -Emissary-

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:32 PM

DS just turned 4, he has been going to bed around 9 pm for the last year. He wakes up at 8.30/9 am though.

#11 winterlove

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:42 PM

My 3y/o goes to bed at 7.30pm, we read for about 20mins and he is normally asleep by 8pm. He is awake at about 6am and has about a 2 hour nap from 1 to 3pm. He did go through a stage of not napping at daycare and would then be really tired by 7pm and would then sleep in to around 7am.

#12 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:44 PM

DS is almost 3.
He goes to bed at night at 7pm. Sometimes he's asleep straight away other nights he carries on for quite a while. Either way he stays in bed.

He only has a day nap about 50% of the time now. Its exhausting (for me).

He wakes up around 6:30 on good days.

We bought a Gro Clock for him. The sun comes up on the clock when they are allowed to get out of bed. It has stars when they are meant to be sleeping.
It helps. But sometimes DS will open the blinds, point outside and insist the sun is up!

#13 aluminium

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:50 PM

DD dropped her day nap not long after her third birthday, at which time we started putting her to bed at 5:30pm. She'd then sleep 5:30pm - 6am.

Now that she is closer to turning four, we put her to bed at 6:30/7pm and she sleeps till 6am. Once a week she stays up till 9/9:30pm when we go out for dinner with our church, and she still only sleeps till 6am and is mighty grumpy the following day.

#14 Kay1

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:57 PM

My 3 year old is in the process of giving up the daytime sleep. He probably has one every 3 days. On the days he has one he will be up til 9-9.30pm. Fortunately he stays in bed and just chats, sings and plays with his teddies. He also wakes at 6am at the latest.

I have always been very strict with bedtime though. We have lots of stories, cuddles, songs etc but when I leave I leave and if he yells or carries on his door is closed. We have only ever had to close it a few times (for about 5 minutes) and he now knows not to make a fuss. I don't know if that helped or we are just blessed with kids who go to sleep on their own!

If he doesn't sleep he's a rotten mess by 6pm and in bed fast asleep by 6.30pm. Doesn't affect his wake up time though.

#15 k10

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:06 PM

Gosh, this is us too atm.  DS (about to turn 3) has gone from self settling to needing us to lay with him and has dropped the day sleep in the last 2 weeks.  As with PPs if he has the day sleep we are up till 9pm with him, without the day sleep he is back to 7pm bedtime but wants one of us in there with him doing a story and cuddle.  Seems to have coincided with an imagination burst too and a bit of a fear of the dark (night light doesn't help though).  I too am hoping it will just pass.  Although I do quite like the lay down with him but won't be able to maintain it once no 2 arrives in a few months!

#16 lynneyours

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:07 PM

DD1 is 3.6.  She hasn't had a daytime nap for nearly a year, except for at daycare, which I have vented about before.  

It's currently 10pm and I am still fighting to get her to sleep, because daycare gave her a nap today.  Funnily enough, her sheet just said "rest" but she was like, "oh no Mummy, I had a big sleep!" .....

no sh1t sherlock - 10pm and counting to get her to sleep.....  and now she will be tired tomorrow, so they will give her a sleep at daycare..... grrrr.  Gotta love that they give her a 30min nap, which means she misses out on 3+ hours of sleep at night.

On days she doesn't have a nap, she is asleep between 7.30-8 and sleeps until 8-8.30am.  

so much for last minute cramming for my exam tomorrow....  sigh.  New daycare time.

#17 Spa Gonk

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:08 PM

My 3yo goes to bed at around 7:30pm.  If he has a sleep (pretty much only when he goes to child care now) we keep him up to around 8-8:30pm.  

We have very little problem putting him to bed.  If we ever leave it too late he goes hypo and then will carry on at bedtime, but this is pretty rare.  He has 2 stories at bed and then likes listening to a music CD.  Occassionally he asks for some pats, but he is happy with 1 minutes worth.  He has a gro clock and wakes just before 7am every morning.

We have always had a bedtime routine and when he does carry on, we are consistent around doing the same thing.  My first child was often a nightmare to put to bed, but DS is not a lot of bother at all.

#18 Working_Mummy

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:10 PM

Ds has only just gone 3.  

He is in bed by 6:30, asleep well before 7.
His day sleeps are close to 3 hours except kindy days where he gets woken after 2 & bit.
Mornings on kinDy days are 7 am, non kindy days can be 9 or 10.

#19 **Xena**

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:10 PM

6:30pm- no day sleep usually.

#20 CheriDeMomie

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:11 PM

7.30 and still has an arvo nap otherwise she is feral !!!

#21 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:15 PM

3yrs 7m. Asleep by 7pm, up at 5am. No daytime sleep unless we happen to be doing a lengthly car journey.

I would hate to have her up in the evening, she is up by 5 regardless of the time she goes to bed so that would make for some long horrible days!

#22 ~Fuzjuz~

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:20 PM

He still has a day nap which is 1.30pm to approx 3.30pm. We start his bed routine about 8pm. We still have to sit in with him too.

#23 Seven of Nine

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:24 PM

This is why we cut day sleeps out about 4 months ago, DS (3y 3m at the time) wasn't sleeping until 9pm or later and then was more tired the next day. In your shoes I would push your 3yo out and keep her busy in the afternoons to try to knock out that day sleep.

We are having the same trouble with our 2yo now. He's only just turned 2 and I'm not ready for him to drop his sleep yet (I don't think he is either really) so I'm trying to push his sleep time earlier and wake him after an hour or so.

As for night time I think you either need to put up with the tantrums until she realises you mean it when you say you won't stay or on the other hand you could just choose to stay with her while she goes to sleep. I stay with my kids while they go to sleep, sometimes it's a pita, but usually it's a nice relaxing time for me and I think it's good for the boys.

#24 meggs10

Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:43 PM

My DS has always been in bed by 8pm. We start his night routine at 6.30-7pm with a bath, then he has three stories, and cuddle time and he's happy to go to bed. He usually sleeps till about 6am if we are lucky. He is four now but we have been doing that routine for at least since he was under two years old and have found that consistency is the main thing with toddlers. Having a set routine gets him to realise that bedtime is coming up soon. Doing the same thing every night at the same time can really help a lot.

I don't let him come out of his room at all once I have started reading the books to him, because he will do everything he can to delay going to bed if he can, so I make sure that he knows I won't tolerate any delays. If he doesn't behave himself, then I tell him that he isn't getting any stories tonight and he will usually behave because I always follow through with my threats.

#25 poss71

Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:52 PM

DD2 is 3 on Thursday and has a 1 1/2 to 2 hour sleep each day from about 12 pm (although DH likes to drag it out until 1.30 pm some days).

She and DD1 go to bed around 7.30 pm. Bedtime is fairly consistent, although lately I have been 'mixing it up' a little, by getting them to bed as late as 9.30 on occasion lol!

DD2 comes into my bed either around 6am or just before 7 am and usually goes back to sleep until 7.30 or so.

She would be a puddle if we didn't have a day sleep.

Meggs10, I don't think it's as simple as you try to make out.  Most people have a routine of some sort; some kids just need less sleep than others.

I can't imagine it either, but I put my kids' sleep habits down to routine, and the amount of time they sleep is genetics or heredity or whatever. Not my parenting ability.

2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users


How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.

The Bugaboo by Diesel Denim launch

Essential Baby attended the launch and it got messy!

Father's letter to Bataclan terrorists

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

Adele's new song to sing along to

Singer follows up success of Hello with new belting ballad When We Were Young.

Major retailers restrict formula sales

Coles and Woolworths have imposed tighter buying bans on baby formula amid a shortage blamed on Chinese consumers.

Three-year-old breaks family's news

If you are three-years-old and an only child, then news doesn't get much bigger than this.

Swapped babies stay with families

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

How life is different with three kids

I knew having a third child would alter our lives, but it's had so many impacts - both tiny and enormous.


What's hot on EB

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Beautiful 'now and then' images of premature babies

They are stunning photos that the parents of these beautiful no doubt feared they may never see.

Physios warn pregnant women not to crunch like Michelle Bridges

Experts are urging pregnant women not to do exactly as Michelle Bridges does when exercising, or they risk developing rectus abdominus diastasis.

Penny-pinching supermarket shoppers switching in droves

Half of Australia thinks it can get cheaper groceries by switching supermarkets, and about one in four of us have already switched.

Baby breastfed by wrong mother after hospital mix up

A newborn baby has been breastfed by a stranger after a NSW hospital bungled the identities of two newborns, devastating one mother and potentially exposing the newborn to health risks.

Nurses invent skin to skin c-section drape

The determination of three US nurses to provide immediate skin to skin contact to mothers delivering their babies by caesarean section has led to the invention of a unique surgical drape.

Baby's first photo shoot features a special guest

You can always be sure of a few things not entirely going to plan during a newborn shoot – little accidents are almost par for the course – but this shoot was memorable for a whole other reason.

We are not the family you think we are, I promise

Kids have a way of presenting a completely inaccurate impression of you, as parents, and as a family.

The hidden harm of foetal alcohol syndrome disorder

Experts believe many children diagnosed with ADHD might actually have FASD and that the number of people suffering from the condition across the country could be as high as 500,000.

Anaesthetist facing charges after ignoring woman's pain during caesarean

An anaesthetist could be punished after telling a woman enduring an "excruciating" painful C-section that she was not actually in pain.

When your baby starts life in NICU

Our daughters are finally home after spending nearly four weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Wellington hospital.

How to save for a deposit while renting

As hard as it sounds, it is possible to save money when you rent, and certain things can be done to build a deposit faster.

Medications pregnant women should take, avoid, and think about

There are actually very few medications that must be absolutely avoided during pregnancy.

Paid parental leave uncertainty a growing concern

Eight months out from the due date of the government's PPL cut, some expectant parents are facing an uncertain time.

7 commandments of using the internet as a parent

What you need is careful, objective and repeatable science. Not anecdotes or old wives' tales, but data.

A rethink on screen ban for kids under two

With new guidelines being developed, the discouragement of use below two years of age is being revised.

10 things I want my wife to know

It's on those crazy days that I must remember to stop and let her know some things she needs to hear.

Better education about SIDS needed as deaths plateau

The number of sudden and unexpected deaths in infancy has decreased in NSW for the past 15 years but the most recent report into child deaths reveals the decline has plateaued.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.