Jump to content

Wedding Night
Consumation of Marriage


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
142 replies to this topic

#1 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:52 AM

I have been thinking lately about Weddings and how they are about love and all the rest. Naturally the wedding night should be about the consumation of marriage.  How can it not be after a lovely day confirming your love for your partner and having a great wedding seeing your family and friends.  

But I am surprised from the people I have spoken to that didn't DTD on their wedding night .  I thought it was a given.

If you don't mind sharing who DTD on their wedding night and who didn't and why?

#2 Mitis angelam

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:57 AM

We did, but I honestly wouldn't have minded if we didn't.  

I was exhausted - I'd done a huge amount of work in the lead up to the wedding, had been up late the night before finishing stuff, and had been up at five that morning (we had a morning wedding).  I would have been quite happy to collapse into bed, sleep, and get to the rest the next day after I'd had time to recover a bit.  

I think treating consummating the marriage that night as a "given" trivialises marriage and reduces it to its sexual aspect, as if the rest is meaningless till you've had sex.

#3 bikingbubs

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif

#4 geckosrule

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I've heard this a lot too.   Reasons given are exhaustion, not getting to bed until late etc.  Plus most couples live together for quite a while before thy get married, maybe the novelty has worn off?

#5 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:00 AM

That wasn't what I meant - like the icing on the cake after a great day.  I think consumation comes from when the female is a virgin and the no sex before marriage rule so to have sex for the first time confirms the marriage or something like that.  It is an old term.

#6 BabeBlossom

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We were a little too inebriated  ph34r.gif the after party was huge
We did mke up for it on our honeymoon


#7 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

QUOTE (bikingbubs @ 20/02/2012, 08:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif


Yeah yeah....post an update    biggrin.gif !!!

Congratulations  original.gif

#8 Cranky Kitten

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We did, but I can easily see how others wouldn't. For most brides, the day starts at the A-crack of dawn as they're excited and want to start the process of getting ready. If they slept the night before.

It's then a pretty full on emotional day, then the reception is lots of running around talking to guests, dancing etc. Add to that a fair amount of alcohol and by midnight or later when you eventually get home you're totally bushed but still have to remove the 127 pins from your hair before you can sleep.

#9 Guest_BessMarvin_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

..

Edited by BessMarvin, 12 April 2012 - 03:09 PM.


#10 Stellajoy

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

so are you looking for only virgin brides to answer your question?

#11 Apageintime

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did, but equally wouldn't have mided if we didn't.

We got married overseas and I would have preferred to spend more time with our family that had travelled all that way!

I had also been out very late the night before in  karaoke bar with Dad so was really realy tired!

#12 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did and it will never be forgotten. An average day without any of the expected fanfare but DH will NEVER forget that night.

#13 paddyboo

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

we did but I was so tired and hald drunk I would have happily fallen asleep. Get back to our room at about 1am, have to get all my pins out of my hair and have a shower, then DH had a shower and then I just wanted to sleep so I wasn't very enthusiastic, would have been better if we'd waited til our honeymoon (were leaving the next day)

#14 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

Haha, I'm game to admit that we did, but it was a bit blah after having such a long and emotional day. Neither had the energy, really.

Next morning was a lot better ;-)

It may be different for others, but the last thing I generally want to do at the end of a very long day is that - especially if the day has been both physically and emotionally full.


#15 VampireKisses

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

I know of 2 couples who didnt. 1 the groom fell asleep while bride was showering. The other bride was about 12 weeks pregnant and refused due to being tired even tho her wedding was planned by family. The groom still swears shec"used the wrong bath towel" and thats how they ended up with number 3  LOL. She was apparently not into the sex side of it at all. They were divorced by the time number 3 was 2 :/

#16 Crombek

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

We didn't, I was exhausted, fell asleep in the limo on the way home! From memory we didn't until the next night. We had been together 6 years, and living together for 4 1/2 before getting married though.


#17 virtuallotus

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

You know what....I don't remember.  blush.gif

Though, AFAIK, the sex on the wedding night thing stems from the woman being a virgin (and that ship has sailed  laugh.gif )

Edited by virtuallotus, 20 February 2012 - 08:16 AM.


#18 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#19 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#20 MumtoPNut

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

My ex-husband and I didn't.
I was that exhausted by the time we got to bed that I couldn't even speak a coherent sentence! It's not often that I fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow, but that's pretty much what happened that night!

#21 mum201

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

We definitely did! We had a very low key, lunch time wedding where we decided to stay in a hotel after because we had a bunch of teenagers staying in our house (who travelled for the wedding). It would have been a waste to not do it!

But honestly I can see why people don't.  The average wedding is a pretty exhausting affair, with months of planning, a whole day of grooming, most people finish off the night pretty drunk.  Also, because about 95% of people do it before marriage, there is no great novelty there anymore.

#22 Fez83

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:15 AM

Mmmmm I remember best sex ever  ph34r.gif , very first night alone with out kids, as they say long strong and all night long  tongue.gif .

Ahhhh those were the days lol.

#23 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:17 AM

We didn't.
I'd had a cervical biopsy a couple of days earlier.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

we didn't.  Late night, much food and alcohol consumed, busy day.  DH and I were enthusiastic when we got to our room, but we slowed down when DH was taking our all of my hair pins (it took forever!).  Then we simply relaxed, snuggled in together and fell asleep while chatting about the day.  Wake-up the next morning was pretty damn good though - perfect way to start the honeymoon.   blush.gif

Didn't think there was an obligation to DTD as soon as the guests leave.

#25 hmmm...

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

Our wedding was at a retreat that we fully booked for the night and all guests stayed (a small retreat!)- needless to say, as we supplied alcohol, we were up late drinking. Just before going to bed, there was an accident, and one of our guests tripped down some stairs and lost their front tooth. Someone had to look after him, and as the health professional, it was left up to me, so hubby had to miss out. Then we had my brother staying with us from England for a few days, so it didnt happen til the second night after the wedding night




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

Great-great-grandma delivers great grandchild in her own home

''I've delivered calves, lambs, dogs and cats, but nothing like this.'' This 'Super Gran' calmly peeled the amniotic sac over her great-grandson's head before discovering the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck ... twice.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

Microcephaly still a mysterious condition around the world

For parents, having a child with microcephaly can mean a life of uncertainty.

7 baby firsts you won't see on milestone charts

Here are a few 'other' baby firsts you may not have been expecting, but you'll want to be ready for.

Why it's important to vaccinate on time

My son was born on the 1 July 2014. It's a fabulous birthday, don't you think? Not only does the first of July ring in a new financial year, but it also means we've hit the year's half way mark.

Naturopath treatment allegedly left baby "days from death"

A naturopath whose treatment of a baby boy allegedly led to the infant being severely ill has pleaded not guilty to charges against her. 

Andy Murray's emotional speech to pregnant wife after Australian Open

A teary-eyed Andy Murray promised pregnant wife Kim he'd be on the next plane home after his turbulent two weeks at the Australian Open came to an end.

This toddler and his duck BFF will melt your heart

A small boy in the US has struck up a quacking good friendship with an unlikely companion ... his pet duck. 

Great news for coffee drinkers - caffeine is good for your heart

Researchers have found that, contrary to prior belief, caffeine does not cause health-threatening heart palpitations.

I always wanted children - but I've found other ways to be maternal

I've always been one of the most maternal women I know.

When only one parent wants to know the gender

For some couples you either both want to know the gender of your unborn baby, or you don't. For others, it's not that simple.

'No jab no play' could hurt disadvantaged children, experts fear

Tough new "no jab no play" laws could hurt children who have not been immunised due to family dysfunction, poverty, or poor access to medical support, experts warn.

Zika virus: Airlines offer refunds to pregnant women

Airlines and cruise companies across the world are offering refunds or travel credits to pregnant women who are scheduled to visit countries struck by the devastating Zika virus.

#meditateonthis: Mums fight back against PND ignorance

Not all women will require medication, but many will. And there isn't and shouldn't be any shame in that.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

Free first aid demonstrations daily

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.