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Wedding Night
Consumation of Marriage

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142 replies to this topic

#1 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:52 AM

I have been thinking lately about Weddings and how they are about love and all the rest. Naturally the wedding night should be about the consumation of marriage.  How can it not be after a lovely day confirming your love for your partner and having a great wedding seeing your family and friends.  

But I am surprised from the people I have spoken to that didn't DTD on their wedding night .  I thought it was a given.

If you don't mind sharing who DTD on their wedding night and who didn't and why?

#2 Mitis angelam

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:57 AM

We did, but I honestly wouldn't have minded if we didn't.  

I was exhausted - I'd done a huge amount of work in the lead up to the wedding, had been up late the night before finishing stuff, and had been up at five that morning (we had a morning wedding).  I would have been quite happy to collapse into bed, sleep, and get to the rest the next day after I'd had time to recover a bit.  

I think treating consummating the marriage that night as a "given" trivialises marriage and reduces it to its sexual aspect, as if the rest is meaningless till you've had sex.

#3 bikingbubs

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif

#4 geckosrule

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I've heard this a lot too.   Reasons given are exhaustion, not getting to bed until late etc.  Plus most couples live together for quite a while before thy get married, maybe the novelty has worn off?

#5 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:00 AM

That wasn't what I meant - like the icing on the cake after a great day.  I think consumation comes from when the female is a virgin and the no sex before marriage rule so to have sex for the first time confirms the marriage or something like that.  It is an old term.

#6 BabeBlossom

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We were a little too inebriated  ph34r.gif the after party was huge
We did mke up for it on our honeymoon

#7 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

QUOTE (bikingbubs @ 20/02/2012, 08:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif

Yeah yeah....post an update    biggrin.gif !!!

Congratulations  original.gif

#8 Cranky Kitten

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We did, but I can easily see how others wouldn't. For most brides, the day starts at the A-crack of dawn as they're excited and want to start the process of getting ready. If they slept the night before.

It's then a pretty full on emotional day, then the reception is lots of running around talking to guests, dancing etc. Add to that a fair amount of alcohol and by midnight or later when you eventually get home you're totally bushed but still have to remove the 127 pins from your hair before you can sleep.

#9 Guest_BessMarvin_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM


Edited by BessMarvin, 12 April 2012 - 03:09 PM.

#10 Stellajoy

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

so are you looking for only virgin brides to answer your question?

#11 Apageintime

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did, but equally wouldn't have mided if we didn't.

We got married overseas and I would have preferred to spend more time with our family that had travelled all that way!

I had also been out very late the night before in  karaoke bar with Dad so was really realy tired!

#12 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did and it will never be forgotten. An average day without any of the expected fanfare but DH will NEVER forget that night.

#13 paddyboo

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

we did but I was so tired and hald drunk I would have happily fallen asleep. Get back to our room at about 1am, have to get all my pins out of my hair and have a shower, then DH had a shower and then I just wanted to sleep so I wasn't very enthusiastic, would have been better if we'd waited til our honeymoon (were leaving the next day)

#14 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

Haha, I'm game to admit that we did, but it was a bit blah after having such a long and emotional day. Neither had the energy, really.

Next morning was a lot better ;-)

It may be different for others, but the last thing I generally want to do at the end of a very long day is that - especially if the day has been both physically and emotionally full.

#15 VampireKisses

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

I know of 2 couples who didnt. 1 the groom fell asleep while bride was showering. The other bride was about 12 weeks pregnant and refused due to being tired even tho her wedding was planned by family. The groom still swears shec"used the wrong bath towel" and thats how they ended up with number 3  LOL. She was apparently not into the sex side of it at all. They were divorced by the time number 3 was 2 :/

#16 Crombek

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

We didn't, I was exhausted, fell asleep in the limo on the way home! From memory we didn't until the next night. We had been together 6 years, and living together for 4 1/2 before getting married though.

#17 virtuallotus

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

You know what....I don't remember.  blush.gif

Though, AFAIK, the sex on the wedding night thing stems from the woman being a virgin (and that ship has sailed  laugh.gif )

Edited by virtuallotus, 20 February 2012 - 08:16 AM.

#18 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#19 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#20 MumtoPNut

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

My ex-husband and I didn't.
I was that exhausted by the time we got to bed that I couldn't even speak a coherent sentence! It's not often that I fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow, but that's pretty much what happened that night!

#21 mum201

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

We definitely did! We had a very low key, lunch time wedding where we decided to stay in a hotel after because we had a bunch of teenagers staying in our house (who travelled for the wedding). It would have been a waste to not do it!

But honestly I can see why people don't.  The average wedding is a pretty exhausting affair, with months of planning, a whole day of grooming, most people finish off the night pretty drunk.  Also, because about 95% of people do it before marriage, there is no great novelty there anymore.

#22 Fez83

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:15 AM

Mmmmm I remember best sex ever  ph34r.gif , very first night alone with out kids, as they say long strong and all night long  tongue.gif .

Ahhhh those were the days lol.

#23 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:17 AM

We didn't.
I'd had a cervical biopsy a couple of days earlier.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

we didn't.  Late night, much food and alcohol consumed, busy day.  DH and I were enthusiastic when we got to our room, but we slowed down when DH was taking our all of my hair pins (it took forever!).  Then we simply relaxed, snuggled in together and fell asleep while chatting about the day.  Wake-up the next morning was pretty damn good though - perfect way to start the honeymoon.   blush.gif

Didn't think there was an obligation to DTD as soon as the guests leave.

#25 hmmm...

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

Our wedding was at a retreat that we fully booked for the night and all guests stayed (a small retreat!)- needless to say, as we supplied alcohol, we were up late drinking. Just before going to bed, there was an accident, and one of our guests tripped down some stairs and lost their front tooth. Someone had to look after him, and as the health professional, it was left up to me, so hubby had to miss out. Then we had my brother staying with us from England for a few days, so it didnt happen til the second night after the wedding night

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