Jump to content

Wedding Night
Consumation of Marriage


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
142 replies to this topic

#1 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:52 AM

I have been thinking lately about Weddings and how they are about love and all the rest. Naturally the wedding night should be about the consumation of marriage.  How can it not be after a lovely day confirming your love for your partner and having a great wedding seeing your family and friends.  

But I am surprised from the people I have spoken to that didn't DTD on their wedding night .  I thought it was a given.

If you don't mind sharing who DTD on their wedding night and who didn't and why?

#2 Angelot

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:57 AM

We did, but I honestly wouldn't have minded if we didn't.  

I was exhausted - I'd done a huge amount of work in the lead up to the wedding, had been up late the night before finishing stuff, and had been up at five that morning (we had a morning wedding).  I would have been quite happy to collapse into bed, sleep, and get to the rest the next day after I'd had time to recover a bit.  

I think treating consummating the marriage that night as a "given" trivialises marriage and reduces it to its sexual aspect, as if the rest is meaningless till you've had sex.

#3 bikingbubs

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif

#4 geckosrule

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I've heard this a lot too.   Reasons given are exhaustion, not getting to bed until late etc.  Plus most couples live together for quite a while before thy get married, maybe the novelty has worn off?

#5 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:00 AM

That wasn't what I meant - like the icing on the cake after a great day.  I think consumation comes from when the female is a virgin and the no sex before marriage rule so to have sex for the first time confirms the marriage or something like that.  It is an old term.

#6 BabeBlossom

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We were a little too inebriated  ph34r.gif the after party was huge
We did mke up for it on our honeymoon


#7 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

QUOTE (bikingbubs @ 20/02/2012, 08:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif


Yeah yeah....post an update    biggrin.gif !!!

Congratulations  original.gif

#8 Cranky Kitten

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We did, but I can easily see how others wouldn't. For most brides, the day starts at the A-crack of dawn as they're excited and want to start the process of getting ready. If they slept the night before.

It's then a pretty full on emotional day, then the reception is lots of running around talking to guests, dancing etc. Add to that a fair amount of alcohol and by midnight or later when you eventually get home you're totally bushed but still have to remove the 127 pins from your hair before you can sleep.

#9 Guest_BessMarvin_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

..

Edited by BessMarvin, 12 April 2012 - 03:09 PM.


#10 Stellajoy

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

so are you looking for only virgin brides to answer your question?

#11 Apageintime

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did, but equally wouldn't have mided if we didn't.

We got married overseas and I would have preferred to spend more time with our family that had travelled all that way!

I had also been out very late the night before in  karaoke bar with Dad so was really realy tired!

#12 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did and it will never be forgotten. An average day without any of the expected fanfare but DH will NEVER forget that night.

#13 paddyboo

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

we did but I was so tired and hald drunk I would have happily fallen asleep. Get back to our room at about 1am, have to get all my pins out of my hair and have a shower, then DH had a shower and then I just wanted to sleep so I wasn't very enthusiastic, would have been better if we'd waited til our honeymoon (were leaving the next day)

#14 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

Haha, I'm game to admit that we did, but it was a bit blah after having such a long and emotional day. Neither had the energy, really.

Next morning was a lot better ;-)

It may be different for others, but the last thing I generally want to do at the end of a very long day is that - especially if the day has been both physically and emotionally full.


#15 VampireKisses

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

I know of 2 couples who didnt. 1 the groom fell asleep while bride was showering. The other bride was about 12 weeks pregnant and refused due to being tired even tho her wedding was planned by family. The groom still swears shec"used the wrong bath towel" and thats how they ended up with number 3  LOL. She was apparently not into the sex side of it at all. They were divorced by the time number 3 was 2 :/

#16 Crombek

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

We didn't, I was exhausted, fell asleep in the limo on the way home! From memory we didn't until the next night. We had been together 6 years, and living together for 4 1/2 before getting married though.


#17 virtuallotus

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

You know what....I don't remember.  blush.gif

Though, AFAIK, the sex on the wedding night thing stems from the woman being a virgin (and that ship has sailed  laugh.gif )

Edited by virtuallotus, 20 February 2012 - 08:16 AM.


#18 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#19 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#20 MumtoPNut

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

My ex-husband and I didn't.
I was that exhausted by the time we got to bed that I couldn't even speak a coherent sentence! It's not often that I fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow, but that's pretty much what happened that night!

#21 mum201

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

We definitely did! We had a very low key, lunch time wedding where we decided to stay in a hotel after because we had a bunch of teenagers staying in our house (who travelled for the wedding). It would have been a waste to not do it!

But honestly I can see why people don't.  The average wedding is a pretty exhausting affair, with months of planning, a whole day of grooming, most people finish off the night pretty drunk.  Also, because about 95% of people do it before marriage, there is no great novelty there anymore.

#22 Fez83

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:15 AM

Mmmmm I remember best sex ever  ph34r.gif , very first night alone with out kids, as they say long strong and all night long  tongue.gif .

Ahhhh those were the days lol.

#23 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:17 AM

We didn't.
I'd had a cervical biopsy a couple of days earlier.

#24 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

we didn't.  Late night, much food and alcohol consumed, busy day.  DH and I were enthusiastic when we got to our room, but we slowed down when DH was taking our all of my hair pins (it took forever!).  Then we simply relaxed, snuggled in together and fell asleep while chatting about the day.  Wake-up the next morning was pretty damn good though - perfect way to start the honeymoon.   blush.gif

Didn't think there was an obligation to DTD as soon as the guests leave.

#25 hmmm...

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

Our wedding was at a retreat that we fully booked for the night and all guests stayed (a small retreat!)- needless to say, as we supplied alcohol, we were up late drinking. Just before going to bed, there was an accident, and one of our guests tripped down some stairs and lost their front tooth. Someone had to look after him, and as the health professional, it was left up to me, so hubby had to miss out. Then we had my brother staying with us from England for a few days, so it didnt happen til the second night after the wedding night




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Baby survives five days alone

He lay with his mother for up to five days after she died of a suspected drug overdose - and survived.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.