Jump to content

Wedding Night
Consumation of Marriage


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
142 replies to this topic

#1 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:52 AM

I have been thinking lately about Weddings and how they are about love and all the rest. Naturally the wedding night should be about the consumation of marriage.  How can it not be after a lovely day confirming your love for your partner and having a great wedding seeing your family and friends.  

But I am surprised from the people I have spoken to that didn't DTD on their wedding night .  I thought it was a given.

If you don't mind sharing who DTD on their wedding night and who didn't and why?

#2 Harlekijn engel

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:57 AM

We did, but I honestly wouldn't have minded if we didn't.  

I was exhausted - I'd done a huge amount of work in the lead up to the wedding, had been up late the night before finishing stuff, and had been up at five that morning (we had a morning wedding).  I would have been quite happy to collapse into bed, sleep, and get to the rest the next day after I'd had time to recover a bit.  

I think treating consummating the marriage that night as a "given" trivialises marriage and reduces it to its sexual aspect, as if the rest is meaningless till you've had sex.

#3 bikingbubs

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif

#4 geckosrule

Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:59 AM

I've heard this a lot too.   Reasons given are exhaustion, not getting to bed until late etc.  Plus most couples live together for quite a while before thy get married, maybe the novelty has worn off?

#5 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:00 AM

That wasn't what I meant - like the icing on the cake after a great day.  I think consumation comes from when the female is a virgin and the no sex before marriage rule so to have sex for the first time confirms the marriage or something like that.  It is an old term.

#6 BabeBlossom

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We were a little too inebriated  ph34r.gif the after party was huge
We did mke up for it on our honeymoon


#7 Holidayromp

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

QUOTE (bikingbubs @ 20/02/2012, 08:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I didnt  think having sex was part of comfirming your love for each other?

After having a long day, I imagine I will just want to crawl into bed original.gif If you like I can keep you posted on if we DTD - only 6 weeks to go original.gif


Yeah yeah....post an update    biggrin.gif !!!

Congratulations  original.gif

#8 Cranky Kitten

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:01 AM

We did, but I can easily see how others wouldn't. For most brides, the day starts at the A-crack of dawn as they're excited and want to start the process of getting ready. If they slept the night before.

It's then a pretty full on emotional day, then the reception is lots of running around talking to guests, dancing etc. Add to that a fair amount of alcohol and by midnight or later when you eventually get home you're totally bushed but still have to remove the 127 pins from your hair before you can sleep.

#9 Guest_BessMarvin_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

..

Edited by BessMarvin, 12 April 2012 - 03:09 PM.


#10 Stellajoy

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:02 AM

so are you looking for only virgin brides to answer your question?

#11 Apageintime

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did, but equally wouldn't have mided if we didn't.

We got married overseas and I would have preferred to spend more time with our family that had travelled all that way!

I had also been out very late the night before in  karaoke bar with Dad so was really realy tired!

#12 Guest_Buy Me A Pony !_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:03 AM

We did and it will never be forgotten. An average day without any of the expected fanfare but DH will NEVER forget that night.

#13 paddyboo

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

we did but I was so tired and hald drunk I would have happily fallen asleep. Get back to our room at about 1am, have to get all my pins out of my hair and have a shower, then DH had a shower and then I just wanted to sleep so I wasn't very enthusiastic, would have been better if we'd waited til our honeymoon (were leaving the next day)

#14 Ingrid the Swan

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

Haha, I'm game to admit that we did, but it was a bit blah after having such a long and emotional day. Neither had the energy, really.

Next morning was a lot better ;-)

It may be different for others, but the last thing I generally want to do at the end of a very long day is that - especially if the day has been both physically and emotionally full.


#15 VampireKisses

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:05 AM

I know of 2 couples who didnt. 1 the groom fell asleep while bride was showering. The other bride was about 12 weeks pregnant and refused due to being tired even tho her wedding was planned by family. The groom still swears shec"used the wrong bath towel" and thats how they ended up with number 3  LOL. She was apparently not into the sex side of it at all. They were divorced by the time number 3 was 2 :/

#16 Crombek

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

We didn't, I was exhausted, fell asleep in the limo on the way home! From memory we didn't until the next night. We had been together 6 years, and living together for 4 1/2 before getting married though.


#17 virtuallotus

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:07 AM

You know what....I don't remember.  blush.gif

Though, AFAIK, the sex on the wedding night thing stems from the woman being a virgin (and that ship has sailed  laugh.gif )

Edited by virtuallotus, 20 February 2012 - 08:16 AM.


#18 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#19 Guest_Nemo123_*

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:09 AM

We did but our day ended at about 8pm since we had a lunchtime wedding so we weren't quite too exhausted. I was also pregnant so not drunk (DH made up for that though!). I suspect if our night had ended at midnight or something we would have just gone to sleep.

#20 MumtoPNut

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

My ex-husband and I didn't.
I was that exhausted by the time we got to bed that I couldn't even speak a coherent sentence! It's not often that I fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow, but that's pretty much what happened that night!

#21 mum201

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

We definitely did! We had a very low key, lunch time wedding where we decided to stay in a hotel after because we had a bunch of teenagers staying in our house (who travelled for the wedding). It would have been a waste to not do it!

But honestly I can see why people don't.  The average wedding is a pretty exhausting affair, with months of planning, a whole day of grooming, most people finish off the night pretty drunk.  Also, because about 95% of people do it before marriage, there is no great novelty there anymore.

#22 Fez83

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:15 AM

Mmmmm I remember best sex ever  ph34r.gif , very first night alone with out kids, as they say long strong and all night long  tongue.gif .

Ahhhh those were the days lol.

#23 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:17 AM

We didn't.
I'd had a cervical biopsy a couple of days earlier.

#24 Queen Yoda

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

we didn't.  Late night, much food and alcohol consumed, busy day.  DH and I were enthusiastic when we got to our room, but we slowed down when DH was taking our all of my hair pins (it took forever!).  Then we simply relaxed, snuggled in together and fell asleep while chatting about the day.  Wake-up the next morning was pretty damn good though - perfect way to start the honeymoon.   blush.gif

Didn't think there was an obligation to DTD as soon as the guests leave.

#25 hmmm...

Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:18 AM

Our wedding was at a retreat that we fully booked for the night and all guests stayed (a small retreat!)- needless to say, as we supplied alcohol, we were up late drinking. Just before going to bed, there was an accident, and one of our guests tripped down some stairs and lost their front tooth. Someone had to look after him, and as the health professional, it was left up to me, so hubby had to miss out. Then we had my brother staying with us from England for a few days, so it didnt happen til the second night after the wedding night




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Five ways my second pregnancy is second best

As I roll into the second half of "Pregnancy: The Sequel", here is breakdown of the differences I have found thus far.

Domestic politics

Why I felt guilty about having a cleaner

Coming home to a clean house was a pleasure – and yet, I felt uneasy.

'Ugly' hearing aid ad leaves parents fuming

When Alecia Donoghue found out her baby would need hearing aids she worried about him becoming the target for schoolyard bullies.

Have you seen these missing children?

The Australian Federal Police has released the following information to locate some of Australia's missing children through the Family Law Court.

Margarita time

Keira Knightley welcomes first child

British actress Keira Knightley has become a first-time mother.

IVF patients in the dark over which clinics are least successful

Couples with fertility problems have little way of knowing which IVF clinics are the best performers despite significant differences between clinic success rates.

Couple forced to defend their decision to become parents

They met, fell in love and got married. Then, just like couples everywhere, Simon and Vicky Moore decided it was time to have a baby.

The one parenting tip that made all the difference

Amongst the useless, ill-informed advice we're given as new parents, many of us also receive nuggets of wisdom that make our lives just that little bit easier.

Five lies you tell yourself when you're pregnant

You can see it all now: glowing mumma with her gorgeous babe ... you know exactly what you're going to be like. Or perhaps you know exactly what you're not going to be like.

Family expecting fourth set of twins

A couple is expecting their fourth set of twins in five years.

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

The universal working mother experience

These days mothers need more than just traditional career advice.

Obama feels full force of toddler tantrum

Shopping centres, restaurants, the White House ... the list of places toddlers like to throw tantrums is endless.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Welcome to Winter

Now that the colder months are here, Essential Baby as all the information you need for staying healthy and happy during the chilly season.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.