Can u have more than one best friend
Sounds very high school doesn't it
, Feb 20 2012 04:59 AM
17 replies to this topic
Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:59 AM
Just a simple question Can u Have more than one best friend? I have had a best friend for 29 years I have only ever called her my Best mate and i thought the same but now she has meet another friend and is suddenly classing her as one of her best mates. Would u get upset or it wouldn't bother you.?
It sounds so highschool I know, what you all think ???
Edited by salster, 20 February 2012 - 05:00 AM.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 05:35 AM
Well, to bring it down a notch from high school, my 2 year old watched Humf deal with this very issue last week. Humf felt like you do but his friends told him he was silly and they could all be best friends.
So long as your friendship is intact I would think it was nice she has found someone else to adore, but friendships are often more volatile than other relationships because the jealousy and possessiveness is kept underground even though it still exists.
If it were me I'd be fine, have no issue at all with my friends having friends. Sorry, I can see you're hurt but unless there's more to it, I think you need to accept it and move on.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 05:36 AM
Yes you can have more than one best friend, I actually don't think there is a golden rule.It wouldn't bother me. I have three friends I consider besties. Maybe you are feeling a little jealous and hurt? I think you know that this is a situation where you will just have to put on your big girl panties and get over it.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 05:38 AM
I don't have any best friends. Probably says something about me though!
Posted 20 February 2012 - 05:41 AM
I knew it was going to sound so stupid. I am not jealous .
Edited by salster, 20 February 2012 - 06:03 AM.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:22 AM
I have 2 best friends. One has been a friend since high school. She is adorable and I love her so much. I was in her wedding and I have every intention of having her in mine if I ever have one. She lives in another state and isn't there with me for day to day things. She has had 2 babies since being over there and I haven't met them. I miss her like crazy though and can not wait to see her and her family again. She will always be my best friend. We just don't fight.
Then I have a friend who is here day to day with me. We get along so well, talk about anything and I love her too. I have only been friends with her for 18 months but she is gorgeous and I class her as my best friend.
So yes, 2 best friends.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 07:34 AM
Don't feel silly, your feelings are real and I can understand what you are saying to some extent
I think singular friendships, the sort where you pinky swear your alliance ignoring all others are the sort of friendships kids have.
I have 5 friends who I consider best friends because they are the 'best' of friends. We are there for each other through thick and thin but each of these women also have a small group of other BFF's too.
It is possible to share friends, have confidence that you bring something unique to the table that the other friend doesn't.
Just remember that to have a good friend you must be one...be careful not to make your friend feel guilty and it will remind her of why you have been her friend for 29 years.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:22 AM
Sure... I have a few of them. 1 of them was my best mate from kindergarten upwards, another was my high school bestie and then I have 2 really good friends where we live.
The two old friends, we barely catch up now because of distance and kids and stuff, but the affection is still there on both sides.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:36 AM
Sure you can. Best kind of implies that there'll only be one, but in the real world if doesn't have to mean that at all.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:52 AM
Of course you can have more than one " best" friend. Time and circumstances mean that people need more than one confidente. It doesn't mean that your friendship is devalued.If you still feel like you can take up where you left off that's all that matters.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 08:59 AM
I understand how you feel. I've felt a bit threatened in the past by the "other women" my friends have had... but I have come to understand that it doesn't have to be that way.
These days I have 3 best friends. I have my best friend from primary school, who is like a sister to me. I have my best friend from high school. And I have my best friend from mothers group. If I had to pick from these women as to which was my real "best" friend I honestly couldn't do it. They are all hugely important to me in different areas of my life, and I would feel lost without any of them.
Friends come and go in your life depending on your circumstances and what your needs are at the time. My two school friends have stood the test of time, and they will always be my best friends. My mothers group friend has been a vital sanity saver for the 4 years we have been mums together, and I hope once the kids are in school our friendship will remain as strong.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:24 AM
I stopped having 'best friends' in high school. I have a group of friends now that I call close friends and I share different things with each one, but I don't attach myself to any one person in particular and make them a stand-out in the friendship ranks.
It sounds to me like you're worried about how this new friendship is going to impact on your relationship with her. If your friendship is solid then it will stand the test of time and you will have nothing to worry about.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:38 AM
I have two best friends!
I met them in different times and in totally different circumstances and I love them both dearly.
They have met but don't have much in common other than me I guess.
Needless to say I'm totally torn which one to ask to my matron of honor at my wedding!
Maybe I'll just have both.....
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:43 AM
Yes of course. I have several - and most of them have several also.
They don't really know each other, I have met them all in different parts of my life and I love them all.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:45 AM
Definitely. I think I have about four (I feel so lucky and blessed, they're the greatest!) but I do have one who I am closest to.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:49 AM
No you can't, the term 'best' implies there is only one above all others. In reality most of us have many friends to cover many spheres of our lives, eg. old schoolfriends, parents of the kids' friends, work friends, etc. 'Best friend' is a pretty childish, schoolyard term.
Edited by tigerdog, 20 February 2012 - 09:50 AM.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:53 AM
How lucky is she to have 2 people in her life that she would class best friends! I have 1 bestie but she has 2, a lifelong school friend in NZ and me here in Oz. Her NZ bestie is just lovely and I know exactly why they are such good friends and I love spending time with her too when she comes over.
Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:54 AM
I have two.
One I have had since I was 18 ( we are 35 now ) and don't see very often but when we do it's like we were never apart.
The other I have known for about 11 years now. We talk and see each other on a weekly basis.
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