Jump to content

Getting so completely over this...
Long term TTC


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Satay Chicken

Posted 16 February 2012 - 09:45 AM


This is a bit of a vent but I really feel like giving up today.. I feel emotionally and physically beat and I haven't even done an IVF cycle yet.  I'm O'ing today and I cannot even be bothered to BD, whats the point anyway..  My brother and SIL are having their first next month, one hit wonder and I don't know how i am going to deal with being around them.  I just don't know anymore...   sad.gif

How do you girls keep going cause I am totally running out of steam...

#2 spottydog

Posted 16 February 2012 - 10:01 AM

Have a break, go on a weekend away or on a holiday, put the ivf off for another cycle, honestly it will do you good, we done it many times, breaks always made me go back into a fresh cycle with a open mind.

As for the new baby, im sure your family will understand, if they dont, speak to someone who does understand, and tell them to pass the message on.

Take it at your own pace, if you dont want to see the baby on a specific day because its the wrong time for you, dont.

good luck.

spotty.

#3 minidiamond

Posted 16 February 2012 - 01:20 PM

Sorry I know this is a typical EB response but have you seen a counsellor or psych ? I really did find it helped me, you can always get a mental health plan from your GP to help financially.

From your sig, it looks like you have July as your date set for IVF.  If that's the case, I would try to have that as your 'goal' - in the meantime, maybe try to switch off TTC a bit, relax, as spotty said, try to enjoy other aspects of your life.  It really is all consuming so any 'time out' you can take is well worth it.

*M/C AND PREG MENTIONED*
Just as an aside, I also had borderline NK cells, after 9 transfers & 2 mc/s, my FS put me on prednisone for the first time this last cycle & I'm now 14 weeks.  I would def reccommend you talk about it to your FS when discussing your first IVF cycle.

Best of luck !

#4 BJBubbles

Posted 16 February 2012 - 08:39 PM

Take a break. Stop TTC for a few months. Remember what it's like to  (being corny) make love to your DP, instead of it being about getting PG.

**PG and Loss mentioned**
I used to feel like we had to give it our all every month - but it wears you out (especially when you have a miscarriage!) and then you have less to give - so a few months off even (just 1!) can really refresh you.  

We've had one big break of 4 - 5 months last year after our baby had anencephaly, and we're taking another 3 - 4 month break now, because my body has just had it and needs a rest.

Be kind to yourself....


#5 Satay Chicken

Posted 17 February 2012 - 07:09 AM


Thank you for your kind words ladies... and I am sorry you too have had such a long road.  It's hard hey!

I agree that we need a break but you know what its like, what if that break month was it?  I'm almost addicted to trying now although I agree a break is on the cards...x

Liltuss - I saw my FS last Tuesday and she will not treat me for the boarderlind cells although she is ok for me to do Clexane if I get a BFP.  I am also on progesterone from 2dpo which apparently is an immune suppressant.
With the uNK results, i'm trying to find out more about Australian results and what warrents treatment (thinking about a second opinion).  My CD56 is 29.4% at CD24 which is only .4% over the maximun count.  My CD57 (apparently the bad ones) is 10/mml and the max level for those is just that 10/mml - so I am right on boarderline, a sinch over.

Does this testing look similar to what you had?  Can anyone else relate to these results????? Gab??

#6 minidiamond

Posted 17 February 2012 - 08:51 AM

As I said, my FS only gave me pred after a number of failed cycles & m/cs.  I guess I would be asking the FS what the treatment would ordinarily be for NK cells, and whether that treatment is going to actually do any harm as a 'trial'. That seemed to be the philosophy of my FS, although we didn't discuss it in detail.  I actually don't know my NK cells numbers.

I would guess that since you haven't done an IVF cycle your FS wants to at least give things a go first before adding additional drugs. Not much comfort I realise.

I don't know much about prog as an anti immune treatment, it's just fairly standard AC luteal phase support so I've had it for every cycle. I've had a number of cycles with clexane as well, although generally I thought that was more to address clotting than NK cells (they may be related, not sure).  I also started clexane straight after transfer, as far as I know it's important to have it during the implantation period, not just after BFP - although I stayed on it until the end of the first trimester.

As to having the month off and it being 'the one' - I'm not sure I fully understand your philosophy ? If you're not having any AC treatment, obviously your body doesn't know if it's April or June ? Sorry that's a really dumb way of training to explain what I mean - but I guess the point is, a break gives you a physiological and psychological break that I believe is really important, albeit most of my breaks were 'forced' upon me due to consecutive stim cycles.  And believe me, at 41, every month you're not TTC is very scary.  But I think worth it.

Are you planning to wait until July for your first IVF cycle ?

#7 threelittlegems

Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:10 AM

I don't belong here, but I do want to share a good news story.

My brother and SIL have been on IVF since 2006. In 2010 they did some extra testings on SIL's eggs, and found that although they looked viable with initial testing, very few were actually viable. I'm sorry, I don't know the official words and terms.

So they did a few cycles with the extra testing, which I think cost $14k per cycle. Still nothing.

They went the route of donor egg and were fortunate to find a lovely generous person willing to participate. They only got two viable eggs out of the first collection which didn't stick.

Fourteen months went by, while the donor did some travelling and living her life. My brother and SIL underwent a few more normal IVF cycles, nothing. The donor came back and agreed to try again.

Again, they only ended up with two viable eggs. My SIL was devastated. She told me that they had given up. This was it, they'd been trying for 8 years, spent an enormous amount of money. If this cycle didn't work, they were resigned to not having children. I could tell from her voice that she didn't think it would work, and had already resigned herself.

Two weeks later she phones me bawling her eyes out. Pregnant.

She is now 25 weeks pregnant. I was absolutely terrified for them over the first 16 weeks. Terrified. Now I'm just a little scared.

Anyway, I hope my contribution to this thread isn't out of line. I just remember my SIL (she is a midwife), used to always get so excited when she met a Mum delivering who had been through what she was going through and had a positive outcome.





#8 zoimeister

Posted 17 February 2012 - 06:15 PM

Hey Ladies

I feel like giving up too. I just cant seem to deal with pregnancy announcements. What is it with them all sending ME texts, i mean whats with that! So Satay i here you girlfriend.

I walk around with slouched shoulders all day every day. Not once have i smiled bcoz im happy with me and my situation. It makes me sad that i cant be happy and there is an answer i just cant get to it, well the universe aint helping me.

Satay i just PMd you, my CD57 are 20/mm2 considered abnormal, but this was done early in my biopsy as says in the report (done with FS)...hello hello. So im anxiously waiting for my NEW biopsy results (done with immunologist) and i dont get them til 1 March!

I did read somewhere that stress plays a role in these NK Cells. My immunologist also believes that as well. Sometimes i get so mad, who wouldnt be stressed going on this journey i mean honestly.

Immunologist did mention that he would increase the pessaries to 1200mg per day (even though my levels were fine), and do intralipid treatment as well.

This journey sux. Anyone else out there with promising success stories for us? All I can say Satay hang in there, i dont feel like it either but we do have a choice, and it is to fight this.
xx

#9 jorgo

Posted 17 February 2012 - 06:23 PM

i have given up for now

well .... given up the ac

you need a break every now and then

i am at the point of just making do with life as it is.. doing everything i've ever wanted to do and making my life about me and saying STFU to the rest of the worlds opinions

dh still seems to think ac will work
i dont think he honestly understands the %%%'s  and odds and stuff

so SC i'm waaaaaaaaaaaay there with you ..... it makes it worse when IL's  basically make it obvious your unimportant and non-valuable.... while your SILs lap you 2  and 3 times each
dh is over it in that way


#10 spitzmum

Posted 19 February 2012 - 11:43 AM

We no longer really communicate with OH's family after the way they treated us after we had our m/c - anyhing we do or accomplish is 2nd class in comparison to the ability of OH's siblings to procreate.

My BIL has never apologised for complaining to us that it took them such a long time to conceive (2 cycles), not long after we announced that we had a m/c  mad.gif

We are polite to them and see them at family functions, but we no longer initiate any contact with them.  

Funnily enough - OH's grandfather ADORES us because we are setting goals and accomplishing them and doesn't care one way or another whether we have kids or not.  

Are you doing anything to vent?  A journal?  Blog?  I used to write letters to OH's family and then burn them original.gif

#11 MsConception

Posted 03 March 2012 - 11:19 PM

I've been TTC since Nov 2008, diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I'm a problem solver, I hate not having answers, so the "unexplained" part was really doing my head in. Every time I got another failed IUI cycle meant I was no closer to finding the answers and then theoretically "fixing the problem".

As I was aware of the expense of AC, I was very cautious about jumping straight to IVF. So I tried other avenues first. I always took my time and left 2 or 3 months in between IUI cycles. I took a break and tried naturopathy. It didn't work but it gave me some time off and I refocused on my body and changed some lifestyle habits. I felt ready to tackle the AC after that.

We decided to do IVF this year. I started acupuncture in December last year, to support my IVF cycle. I also started a blog over a year ago. It really did help me vent. Eventually, I used it more as a record of my TTC journey (specifically  IVF) rather than a venting ground. And it became a project that helped  take the focus off my whole IVF process. And it was fantastic to know  someone was reading my story and then to receive comments from other  girls going through the same thing was really uplifting.

The things that kept me going was having one close girlfriend to tell everything to. Seeing a counsellor really helped me change my perspective on things. Writing a blog.  Reminding myself that I'm more than this, I have other facets of my life that I love and need to focus on. My dogs. Don't be afraid of taking a break, what's 1 month in the big scheme of things?

I hope this helps somewhat? I know how frustrating it can be. Avoiding SILs and their babies. I had one work colleague tell me that I better get pregnant soon, as I'm running out of time. I was 30, the same age as her. Otherwise, good luck with everything.

Edited by MsConception, 03 March 2012 - 11:19 PM.



2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Five ways my second pregnancy is second best

As I roll into the second half of "Pregnancy: The Sequel", here is breakdown of the differences I have found thus far.

Domestic politics

Why I felt guilty about having a cleaner

Coming home to a clean house was a pleasure – and yet, I felt uneasy.

'Ugly' hearing aid ad leaves parents fuming

When Alecia Donoghue found out her baby would need hearing aids she worried about him becoming the target for schoolyard bullies.

Have you seen these missing children?

The Australian Federal Police has released the following information to locate some of Australia's missing children through the Family Law Court.

Margarita time

Keira Knightley welcomes first child

British actress Keira Knightley has become a first-time mother.

IVF patients in the dark over which clinics are least successful

Couples with fertility problems have little way of knowing which IVF clinics are the best performers despite significant differences between clinic success rates.

Couple forced to defend their decision to become parents

They met, fell in love and got married. Then, just like couples everywhere, Simon and Vicky Moore decided it was time to have a baby.

The one parenting tip that made all the difference

Amongst the useless, ill-informed advice we're given as new parents, many of us also receive nuggets of wisdom that make our lives just that little bit easier.

Five lies you tell yourself when you're pregnant

You can see it all now: glowing mumma with her gorgeous babe ... you know exactly what you're going to be like. Or perhaps you know exactly what you're not going to be like.

Family expecting fourth set of twins

A couple is expecting their fourth set of twins in five years.

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

The universal working mother experience

These days mothers need more than just traditional career advice.

Obama feels full force of toddler tantrum

Shopping centres, restaurants, the White House ... the list of places toddlers like to throw tantrums is endless.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Welcome to Winter

Now that the colder months are here, Essential Baby as all the information you need for staying healthy and happy during the chilly season.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.