Jump to content

:(
My little girl..


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 Gixxie

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:31 AM

Its with great joy and sadness that im struggling to write this...

my little girl Anita Mary was born on the 31st Jan 2012 at 7:10am weighing 380grams at 21weeks and 1 day.
She died an hour later in my arms!

she is so perfect! long little fingers like her mum!

Im taking her to my home town to bury her with my sister and dad and her aunt mary who was a still born too.

the nurses at the hospital have been so amazing and im so thankful that i have had them by my side all the way... and my mum was able to be up here to be able to say hello and goodbye.

my partner... well.. i think best not to go there, but when push came to shove he wasnt there when i needed him the most.  i just dont know what to do. i think we all cope with grief differently but i think my grief is just going to turn to anger and hatred towards him.. and that is not going to be good.

thankyou to everyone who had my little one in their thoughts and prayers! it means so much to me!

sorry for rambling and im not sure if i should be writing this in the due in june. but her edd was the 12th of June and i know you would all be worried if i didnt say anything at all!

#2 wallofdodo

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:34 AM

I am not a member of this group, however, congratulations on the birth of your little girl, I am so sorry she couldn't stay.





#3 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:35 AM

I don't belong here op but had to reply. I'm so sorry you lost your little girl.

Anita Mary is a beautiful name.

Look after yourself Xx

#4 MrsWidget

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:39 AM

Oh gixxergal I am so sorry that Anita Mary was born too soon. Such a beautiful name. I'm so glad you can take her home to be with family.

The early months are tough (I've been there). Surround yourself with supportive people. SIDS and Kids and SANDS both offer support. There is also an organization called Heartfelt who can take professional photos of your daughter for you.

I'm sorry your partner isn't there for you. That must be hard.

If there us anything I can do, anything at all, please PM me.

Sophie xo

#5 frogneek

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:48 AM

I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

#6 LeoMonkey

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:59 AM

Oh Hun sending you the biggest hugs....another beautiful angel baby, too good for this world.

I am so sorry for your loss and can only imagine what you are going through right now.  Please do not feel you can't post here, we are all here to give you whatever support you need.
Am sorry to here that your partner has not been very supportive but am happy you have some family there for you & the nurses have been supportive at this tough time.

If you need to chat please feel free to PM me.




#7 Alvarywinters

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:59 AM

Oh hun I am so sorry! I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel sad.gif

I am gutted for you...you have been in our thoughts and prayers and will continue to be.

Thank you for letting us know, I'm so sorry it was not good news sad.gif

#8 butterflyangels

Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:05 AM

I am so sorry your beautiful Anita May has joined all our angels in heaven.
I am sorry your partner is not showing his support to you when you need it the most but men unfortunately show their grief diffently than us and might not be handle his grief but it doesn't mean he is not grieving the loss his daughter he mioght not be able to show his grief to you so he is dhying away from you.
There is a lot of suport in the stillbirth section for you to join us in when you are ready.
I have made a age in facebook so songs and poems to help in organsising the funeral if you are interested.
Thinking of you
Mandy


#9 MickeyBoo

Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:25 AM

sad.gif You have been in my thoughts daily for the past few weeks and I've been hoping that you were ok and that your little girl was holding on, I am so very sorry to hear that your little Anita has passed away.

I'm sorry that your partner is not being supportive, but I'm glad to hear that you have some good family support. There's been some really good suggestions here for help if things get too hard.

I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now and what you are going through, but I am sending some hugs your way, thank you for updating us and letting us know, and we are all here for you if you need us.

Mic

#10 bec2509

Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:22 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel regarding your partner. Mine too did the same thing when we lost our first child, my darling little Melanie Jade at 41 weeks. I was so lost and just felt totally alone, more so given the fact that my partners identical twin brother and his partner were due with their 2nd child approx 3 weeks after my loss. Needless to say when my nephew was born i felt worse than ever, my partner (now my husband) and I had a lot of issues due to his lack of being there for me. I felt and still do (now 5 years later) that I did have to deal with my grief alone, even the hospital was not a great help, they sent me home with an envelope of pamphlets and that was about it.

10 days after having my daughter (it was now my birthday!) and my partners 1st day back at work was the hardest day but i sat at my kitchen table in tears and called SIDS and Kids, OMG what a weight I felt list off my shoulders just having someone on the other end of the phone that I could just "let it all out" to. I had regular contact with the same person from SIDS and I really cannot describe just how valuable he was in that dark time.

I have unfortunately become aware that my husband isolating himself from me at a time of grief is his way of working through his emotions. It happened again almost 12 months ago when we had a missed miscarriage and I had to go in for a D&C. Its not an easy thing to go through especially if you feel you are having to do it alone but know that there are people out there to help you and people who don't know you that know exactly what you are going through (like myself).

If you wish to speak further I would be more than happy to try and help through this most tough time. If you would like to PM me please don't hesitate, I know only too well exactly where your emotions will be right now and it is a very tough time, and it really is only time that will help you to through. I still have up and down days about my little girl and it breaks my heart when my son (5yrs old in Aug) says to to Mummy I miss Melanie, as all I can say to him is I miss her too sweetie.

I know it is hard but try to stay strong. Thinking of you and hope you are able to find the best way for you to deal with your grief.

Once again if needed, please PM me.

#11 lactasticmama

Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:42 AM

Congratulations on your precious baby girl. I'm sorry that she couldn't stay with you.

#12 Kelly84PerthWA

Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:55 AM

Im so sorry she couldnt stay sad.gif

i found this small poem for you and i hope it helps...

(An angel opened the book of life to record your baby's birth,
but closed the book and whispered 'Too beautiful for earth' )

#13 **ruth**

Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:50 AM

I am so very sorry to hear your news, I've been reading your previous posts.

I wish there were words that would make everything better. Thinking of you and your presious angel, take care of yourself

#14 hernette

Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:56 AM

I'm so very sorry. There are no other words. Just surround yourself with the people and things that give you comfort bbighug.gif

#15 last~one

Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:19 PM

Im so so sorry honey, my heart aches for you, what a beautiful name you gave your precious girl... xx

#16 sparkle77

Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:30 PM

Congratulations on the birth of Anita Mary.  I am so, so sorry she couldn't stay.

I am not in this group but I have lost a baby.  Much love to you, especially during the next few weeks as you plan your babies funeral.



#17 newyearbaby

Posted 01 February 2012 - 02:48 PM

Oh you have been in my thoughts and when I saw this title the tears started and haven't yet stopped.
I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been a beautiful hour you had with Anita. A true shame it wasn't longer. Look after yourself and make sure others look after you too. Big hugs xx

#18 littlesticky

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:00 AM

So sorry for your loss. Lots of prayers and hugs.

#19 CheriDeMomie

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:16 AM

Congratulations on the birth of Anita ... I am so so sorry for your loss ... an angel baby in heaven ... my deepest condolences to you and your family. I hope you can have a beautiful celebration for your beautiful little girl x

Edited by CheriDeMomie, 02 February 2012 - 07:17 AM.


#20 ChickenortheEgg?

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:37 AM

Congratulations on the birth of Anita. I'm so sorry she couldn't stay. Thinking of you and your family.

#21 DM06

Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:42 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter Anita. I'm so very sorry to hear that she couldn't stay. Thankyou for sharing your news with us, thinking of you.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Breastfeeding doesn't make you a better mum - feeding your baby does

Given my immense dislike of Hopkins and her opinions, I was genuinely shocked to discover that last week she actually said something that I agreed with.

'Toni, another baby has died': the anguish of watching governments fail our babies

It has been six years since whooping cough claimed the life of four-week-old Dana McCaffery. Her parents are angry that lessons learnt weren't enough to save other babies.

Longer breastfeeding linked to higher IQ

A study of 3500 infants has found that babies who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent and wealthy.

The 2015 flu vaccine: what's new, who should get it

For certain members of the community, catching flu can lead to severe illness or death. A vaccination can be lifesaving.

Dealing with a nappy escape artist

I hear about the tots that have a penchant for ripping their nappies off and the odd one that even smears the brown stuff on the walls and fine home furnishings, and I shudder.

Hospital apologises for 'traumatising' baby mix-up

St Vincent's Hospital has apologised "unreservedly" for a baby mix-up that left one new mum traumatised.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.