My little girl..
, Feb 01 2012 08:31 AM
20 replies to this topic
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:31 AM
Its with great joy and sadness that im struggling to write this...
my little girl Anita Mary was born on the 31st Jan 2012 at 7:10am weighing 380grams at 21weeks and 1 day.
She died an hour later in my arms!
she is so perfect! long little fingers like her mum!
Im taking her to my home town to bury her with my sister and dad and her aunt mary who was a still born too.
the nurses at the hospital have been so amazing and im so thankful that i have had them by my side all the way... and my mum was able to be up here to be able to say hello and goodbye.
my partner... well.. i think best not to go there, but when push came to shove he wasnt there when i needed him the most. i just dont know what to do. i think we all cope with grief differently but i think my grief is just going to turn to anger and hatred towards him.. and that is not going to be good.
thankyou to everyone who had my little one in their thoughts and prayers! it means so much to me!
sorry for rambling and im not sure if i should be writing this in the due in june. but her edd was the 12th of June and i know you would all be worried if i didnt say anything at all!
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:34 AM
I am not a member of this group, however, congratulations on the birth of your little girl, I am so sorry she couldn't stay.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:35 AM
I don't belong here op but had to reply. I'm so sorry you lost your little girl.
Anita Mary is a beautiful name.
Look after yourself Xx
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:39 AM
Oh gixxergal I am so sorry that Anita Mary was born too soon. Such a beautiful name. I'm so glad you can take her home to be with family.
The early months are tough (I've been there). Surround yourself with supportive people. SIDS and Kids and SANDS both offer support. There is also an organization called Heartfelt who can take professional photos of your daughter for you.
I'm sorry your partner isn't there for you. That must be hard.
If there us anything I can do, anything at all, please PM me.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:48 AM
I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:59 AM
Oh Hun sending you the biggest hugs....another beautiful angel baby, too good for this world.
I am so sorry for your loss and can only imagine what you are going through right now. Please do not feel you can't post here, we are all here to give you whatever support you need.
Am sorry to here that your partner has not been very supportive but am happy you have some family there for you & the nurses have been supportive at this tough time.
If you need to chat please feel free to PM me.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:59 AM
Oh hun I am so sorry! I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel
I am gutted for you...you have been in our thoughts and prayers and will continue to be.
Thank you for letting us know, I'm so sorry it was not good news
Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:05 AM
I am so sorry your beautiful Anita May has joined all our angels in heaven.
I am sorry your partner is not showing his support to you when you need it the most but men unfortunately show their grief diffently than us and might not be handle his grief but it doesn't mean he is not grieving the loss his daughter he mioght not be able to show his grief to you so he is dhying away from you.
There is a lot of suport in the stillbirth section for you to join us in when you are ready.
I have made a age in facebook so songs and poems to help in organsising the funeral if you are interested.
Thinking of you
Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:25 AM
You have been in my thoughts daily for the past few weeks and I've been hoping that you were ok and that your little girl was holding on, I am so very sorry to hear that your little Anita has passed away.
I'm sorry that your partner is not being supportive, but I'm glad to hear that you have some good family support. There's been some really good suggestions here for help if things get too hard.
I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now and what you are going through, but I am sending some hugs your way, thank you for updating us and letting us know, and we are all here for you if you need us.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:22 AM
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel regarding your partner. Mine too did the same thing when we lost our first child, my darling little Melanie Jade at 41 weeks. I was so lost and just felt totally alone, more so given the fact that my partners identical twin brother and his partner were due with their 2nd child approx 3 weeks after my loss. Needless to say when my nephew was born i felt worse than ever, my partner (now my husband) and I had a lot of issues due to his lack of being there for me. I felt and still do (now 5 years later) that I did have to deal with my grief alone, even the hospital was not a great help, they sent me home with an envelope of pamphlets and that was about it.
10 days after having my daughter (it was now my birthday!) and my partners 1st day back at work was the hardest day but i sat at my kitchen table in tears and called SIDS and Kids, OMG what a weight I felt list off my shoulders just having someone on the other end of the phone that I could just "let it all out" to. I had regular contact with the same person from SIDS and I really cannot describe just how valuable he was in that dark time.
I have unfortunately become aware that my husband isolating himself from me at a time of grief is his way of working through his emotions. It happened again almost 12 months ago when we had a missed miscarriage and I had to go in for a D&C. Its not an easy thing to go through especially if you feel you are having to do it alone but know that there are people out there to help you and people who don't know you that know exactly what you are going through (like myself).
If you wish to speak further I would be more than happy to try and help through this most tough time. If you would like to PM me please don't hesitate, I know only too well exactly where your emotions will be right now and it is a very tough time, and it really is only time that will help you to through. I still have up and down days about my little girl and it breaks my heart when my son (5yrs old in Aug) says to to Mummy I miss Melanie, as all I can say to him is I miss her too sweetie.
I know it is hard but try to stay strong. Thinking of you and hope you are able to find the best way for you to deal with your grief.
Once again if needed, please PM me.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:42 AM
Congratulations on your precious baby girl. I'm sorry that she couldn't stay with you.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:55 AM
Im so sorry she couldnt stay
i found this small poem for you and i hope it helps...
(An angel opened the book of life to record your baby's birth,
but closed the book and whispered 'Too beautiful for earth' )
Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:50 AM
I am so very sorry to hear your news, I've been reading your previous posts.
I wish there were words that would make everything better. Thinking of you and your presious angel, take care of yourself
Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:56 AM
I'm so very sorry. There are no other words. Just surround yourself with the people and things that give you comfort
Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:19 PM
Im so so sorry honey, my heart aches for you, what a beautiful name you gave your precious girl... xx
Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:30 PM
Congratulations on the birth of Anita Mary. I am so, so sorry she couldn't stay.
I am not in this group but I have lost a baby. Much love to you, especially during the next few weeks as you plan your babies funeral.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 02:48 PM
Oh you have been in my thoughts and when I saw this title the tears started and haven't yet stopped.
I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been a beautiful hour you had with Anita. A true shame it wasn't longer. Look after yourself and make sure others look after you too. Big hugs xx
Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:00 AM
So sorry for your loss. Lots of prayers and hugs.
Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:16 AM
Congratulations on the birth of Anita ... I am so so sorry for your loss ... an angel baby in heaven ... my deepest condolences to you and your family. I hope you can have a beautiful celebration for your beautiful little girl x
Edited by CheriDeMomie, 02 February 2012 - 07:17 AM.
Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:37 AM
Congratulations on the birth of Anita. I'm so sorry she couldn't stay. Thinking of you and your family.
Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:42 PM
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter Anita. I'm so very sorry to hear that she couldn't stay. Thankyou for sharing your news with us, thinking of you.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
As I roll into the second half of "Pregnancy: The Sequel", here is breakdown of the differences I have found thus far.
Coming home to a clean house was a pleasure – and yet, I felt uneasy.
When Alecia Donoghue found out her baby would need hearing aids she worried about him becoming the target for schoolyard bullies.
The Australian Federal Police has released the following information to locate some of Australia's missing children through the Family Law Court.
British actress Keira Knightley has become a first-time mother.
Couples with fertility problems have little way of knowing which IVF clinics are the best performers despite significant differences between clinic success rates.
They met, fell in love and got married. Then, just like couples everywhere, Simon and Vicky Moore decided it was time to have a baby.
Amongst the useless, ill-informed advice we're given as new parents, many of us also receive nuggets of wisdom that make our lives just that little bit easier.
You can see it all now: glowing mumma with her gorgeous babe ... you know exactly what you're going to be like. Or perhaps you know exactly what you're not going to be like.
A couple is expecting their fourth set of twins in five years.
We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?
A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.
These days mothers need more than just traditional career advice.
Shopping centres, restaurants, the White House ... the list of places toddlers like to throw tantrums is endless.
Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.
My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".
The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.
As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.
A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.
It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.
Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.
Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.
Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.
It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.
More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.
Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.
If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.
Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.
We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.
Now that the colder months are here, Essential Baby as all the information you need for staying healthy and happy during the chilly season.
Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.
Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.
Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.
The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.
A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.
I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.
I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.
Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.
Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.
Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.
Life On Mars
We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.
The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.
It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?
After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.
Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.
A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.
We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.
It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.
Top baby names
The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.