Jump to content

:(
My little girl..


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 Gixxie

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:31 AM

Its with great joy and sadness that im struggling to write this...

my little girl Anita Mary was born on the 31st Jan 2012 at 7:10am weighing 380grams at 21weeks and 1 day.
She died an hour later in my arms!

she is so perfect! long little fingers like her mum!

Im taking her to my home town to bury her with my sister and dad and her aunt mary who was a still born too.

the nurses at the hospital have been so amazing and im so thankful that i have had them by my side all the way... and my mum was able to be up here to be able to say hello and goodbye.

my partner... well.. i think best not to go there, but when push came to shove he wasnt there when i needed him the most.  i just dont know what to do. i think we all cope with grief differently but i think my grief is just going to turn to anger and hatred towards him.. and that is not going to be good.

thankyou to everyone who had my little one in their thoughts and prayers! it means so much to me!

sorry for rambling and im not sure if i should be writing this in the due in june. but her edd was the 12th of June and i know you would all be worried if i didnt say anything at all!

#2 wallofdodo

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:34 AM

I am not a member of this group, however, congratulations on the birth of your little girl, I am so sorry she couldn't stay.





#3 Guest_Starletta_*

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:35 AM

I don't belong here op but had to reply. I'm so sorry you lost your little girl.

Anita Mary is a beautiful name.

Look after yourself Xx

#4 MrsWidget

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:39 AM

Oh gixxergal I am so sorry that Anita Mary was born too soon. Such a beautiful name. I'm so glad you can take her home to be with family.

The early months are tough (I've been there). Surround yourself with supportive people. SIDS and Kids and SANDS both offer support. There is also an organization called Heartfelt who can take professional photos of your daughter for you.

I'm sorry your partner isn't there for you. That must be hard.

If there us anything I can do, anything at all, please PM me.

Sophie xo

#5 frogneek

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:48 AM

I'm so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

#6 LeoMonkey

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:59 AM

Oh Hun sending you the biggest hugs....another beautiful angel baby, too good for this world.

I am so sorry for your loss and can only imagine what you are going through right now.  Please do not feel you can't post here, we are all here to give you whatever support you need.
Am sorry to here that your partner has not been very supportive but am happy you have some family there for you & the nurses have been supportive at this tough time.

If you need to chat please feel free to PM me.




#7 Alvarywinters

Posted 01 February 2012 - 08:59 AM

Oh hun I am so sorry! I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel sad.gif

I am gutted for you...you have been in our thoughts and prayers and will continue to be.

Thank you for letting us know, I'm so sorry it was not good news sad.gif

#8 butterflyangels

Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:05 AM

I am so sorry your beautiful Anita May has joined all our angels in heaven.
I am sorry your partner is not showing his support to you when you need it the most but men unfortunately show their grief diffently than us and might not be handle his grief but it doesn't mean he is not grieving the loss his daughter he mioght not be able to show his grief to you so he is dhying away from you.
There is a lot of suport in the stillbirth section for you to join us in when you are ready.
I have made a age in facebook so songs and poems to help in organsising the funeral if you are interested.
Thinking of you
Mandy


#9 MickeyBoo

Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:25 AM

sad.gif You have been in my thoughts daily for the past few weeks and I've been hoping that you were ok and that your little girl was holding on, I am so very sorry to hear that your little Anita has passed away.

I'm sorry that your partner is not being supportive, but I'm glad to hear that you have some good family support. There's been some really good suggestions here for help if things get too hard.

I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now and what you are going through, but I am sending some hugs your way, thank you for updating us and letting us know, and we are all here for you if you need us.

Mic

#10 bec2509

Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:22 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel regarding your partner. Mine too did the same thing when we lost our first child, my darling little Melanie Jade at 41 weeks. I was so lost and just felt totally alone, more so given the fact that my partners identical twin brother and his partner were due with their 2nd child approx 3 weeks after my loss. Needless to say when my nephew was born i felt worse than ever, my partner (now my husband) and I had a lot of issues due to his lack of being there for me. I felt and still do (now 5 years later) that I did have to deal with my grief alone, even the hospital was not a great help, they sent me home with an envelope of pamphlets and that was about it.

10 days after having my daughter (it was now my birthday!) and my partners 1st day back at work was the hardest day but i sat at my kitchen table in tears and called SIDS and Kids, OMG what a weight I felt list off my shoulders just having someone on the other end of the phone that I could just "let it all out" to. I had regular contact with the same person from SIDS and I really cannot describe just how valuable he was in that dark time.

I have unfortunately become aware that my husband isolating himself from me at a time of grief is his way of working through his emotions. It happened again almost 12 months ago when we had a missed miscarriage and I had to go in for a D&C. Its not an easy thing to go through especially if you feel you are having to do it alone but know that there are people out there to help you and people who don't know you that know exactly what you are going through (like myself).

If you wish to speak further I would be more than happy to try and help through this most tough time. If you would like to PM me please don't hesitate, I know only too well exactly where your emotions will be right now and it is a very tough time, and it really is only time that will help you to through. I still have up and down days about my little girl and it breaks my heart when my son (5yrs old in Aug) says to to Mummy I miss Melanie, as all I can say to him is I miss her too sweetie.

I know it is hard but try to stay strong. Thinking of you and hope you are able to find the best way for you to deal with your grief.

Once again if needed, please PM me.

#11 lactasticmama

Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:42 AM

Congratulations on your precious baby girl. I'm sorry that she couldn't stay with you.

#12 Kelly84PerthWA

Posted 01 February 2012 - 10:55 AM

Im so sorry she couldnt stay sad.gif

i found this small poem for you and i hope it helps...

(An angel opened the book of life to record your baby's birth,
but closed the book and whispered 'Too beautiful for earth' )

#13 **ruth**

Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:50 AM

I am so very sorry to hear your news, I've been reading your previous posts.

I wish there were words that would make everything better. Thinking of you and your presious angel, take care of yourself

#14 hernette

Posted 01 February 2012 - 11:56 AM

I'm so very sorry. There are no other words. Just surround yourself with the people and things that give you comfort bbighug.gif

#15 last~one

Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:19 PM

Im so so sorry honey, my heart aches for you, what a beautiful name you gave your precious girl... xx

#16 sparkle77

Posted 01 February 2012 - 01:30 PM

Congratulations on the birth of Anita Mary.  I am so, so sorry she couldn't stay.

I am not in this group but I have lost a baby.  Much love to you, especially during the next few weeks as you plan your babies funeral.



#17 newyearbaby

Posted 01 February 2012 - 02:48 PM

Oh you have been in my thoughts and when I saw this title the tears started and haven't yet stopped.
I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been a beautiful hour you had with Anita. A true shame it wasn't longer. Look after yourself and make sure others look after you too. Big hugs xx

#18 littlesticky

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:00 AM

So sorry for your loss. Lots of prayers and hugs.

#19 CheriDeMomie

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:16 AM

Congratulations on the birth of Anita ... I am so so sorry for your loss ... an angel baby in heaven ... my deepest condolences to you and your family. I hope you can have a beautiful celebration for your beautiful little girl x

Edited by CheriDeMomie, 02 February 2012 - 07:17 AM.


#20 ChickenortheEgg?

Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:37 AM

Congratulations on the birth of Anita. I'm so sorry she couldn't stay. Thinking of you and your family.

#21 DM06

Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:42 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter Anita. I'm so very sorry to hear that she couldn't stay. Thankyou for sharing your news with us, thinking of you.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.