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Was it harder or easier than you thought?
Having a newborn baby...


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#1 casper2425

Posted 23 January 2012 - 02:54 AM

Have been talking to my friends and some have said having a little baby is way harder or way easier than they thought, just wondered what other Mum's thought?

Why do you think it was easier/harder than you expected?

I think it has been easier than I expected.. the first 2 weeks were an adjustment but I don't think I looked into having a baby too much (was spending too much time learning about pregnancy/labour!?!) & I think it may worked in my favour...

Just interested to hear other peoples feelings...

I have a friend giving birth soon & she's SET on doing Gina Ford by the letter, this is what one of my friends did & she had a horrible time for the first 2 months - I don't want to warn her off this from the get go incase she takes it the wrong way, I just hope things work out for her.. but maybe this is a contributor to things not being so smooth as a baby doesn't 'do' what a book says?  

Cx



#2 battymeep

Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:00 AM

i agree with you.
i thought it would be much harder, but usually its not too hard
then again i have twins so... yea original.gif

#3 Caribou

Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:03 AM

It is so far, easier than I thought. My DD is 8 weeks now. Some days she's not keen on sleeping, but she is keen on being fed every four hours exactly. Think I just lucked out there.

I have taken a more laid back approach to parenting, I do have a parenting book, but I look at it as a guidance. Not a bible. Not everything in the book is right for my DD or that I agree with it.

#4 Ellim

Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:06 AM

Like you I did very little research on infants.  DH and I discussed what kind of parents we wanted to be and decided very early on to basically follow DDs lead, and we didn't really make any 'plans' as we wanted to see what kind of baby she would be.
As such, things have been pretty easy and we have just gone with the flow (not to say there have been no difficult parts!).  I won't say it was easier than I thought, though, because I didn't really think about it.

#5 Guest_Craptacular_*

Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:33 AM

Waaaaaay easier than I thought. I truly believed it would be a lot worse than it is. I thought there would be less sleep and constant screaming and didn't know how if cope. I read a lot beforehand and prepared myself for something awful but instead it's been an absolute joy and breeze.

#6 Pssst...

Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:40 AM

For me, newborn was easier than I thought. But 3-6 months was waaaaay harder than I thought it would be

#7 Anonforthis1

Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:58 AM

For me, having a newborn baby was way easier than I had been lead to believe, even though no 1 was a catnapper and had terrible separation anxiety.

Having toddlers on the other hand, I found to be extremely challenging...

#8 mumfor3

Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:59 AM

QUOTE (casper2425 @ 23/01/2012, 03:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have been talking to my friends and some have said having a little baby is way harder or way easier than they thought, just wondered what other Mum's thought?

Why do you think it was easier/harder than you expected?

I think it has been easier than I expected.. the first 2 weeks were an adjustment but I don't think I looked into having a baby too much (was spending too much time learning about pregnancy/labour!?!) & I think it may worked in my favour...

Just interested to hear other peoples feelings...

I have a friend giving birth soon & she's SET on doing Gina Ford by the letter, this is what one of my friends did & she had a horrible time for the first 2 months - I don't want to warn her off this from the get go incase she takes it the wrong way, I just hope things work out for her.. but maybe this is a contributor to things not being so smooth as a baby doesn't 'do' what a book says?  

Cx


#9 Carmen02

Posted 23 January 2012 - 05:11 AM

my 1st two children where way easier then i thought it would be..my 1st was getting used to it all and she slept through at 12 weeks..my 2nd was a dream..my 3rd now thats a different story all together he was the hardest newborn phase was terrible he screamed all the time didnt sleep (it improved when his reflux meds where the right one!!)

#10 KnightsofNi

Posted 23 January 2012 - 05:49 AM

So very much harder than I thought. I had read all the books, spoken with everyone and generally prepared myself the best I could. But parenting, to do this, is so much harder than I ever thought.

Maybe I'm just not built to be a mother.  shrug.gif

#11 Pompol

Posted 23 January 2012 - 05:52 AM

DS was much easier than I expected.  DD has been immeasurably more difficult. I am a very laid back parent. Some Babies are just a lot more difficult !!!

#12 Xiola

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:12 AM

I found DS1 incredibly hard.  I can't remember having any expectations of what it would be like but those first 6 weeks were very difficult for me.


QUOTE
Maybe I'm just not built to be a mother.


I thought this every single day when DS1 was a newborn (and still do sometimes).

DS2 was a super easy baby and I thought I had it all worked out.  He was a pleasure to look after so I though when DD came along she'd also be super easy because 'I had it all worked out'.  I was wrong!

#13 lozoodle

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:22 AM

First baby was way harder than expected as I had pretty bad baby blues for about two months, and she also had silent reflux so would cry on average 12 hours (usually more) a day and wouldn't nap. So she'd be up from 6am to 9pm each day and I'd be on my own the whole time as DP worked really long hours back then.

Second baby was a piece of cake. I totally expected another nightmare run with screaming non sleeping baby, but to my surprise she was generally pretty chilled out. She only catnapped in the day but she was happy the rest of the time and not a drama at all.

#14 Belf

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:32 AM

Agree with PP, some babies are definitely more challenging than others. I got one of the difficult ones as my first. He is still a challenge at 2. This time round I am hoping for one that is a little more easy going. Just not screaming and thrashing every time they were put in the pram or car would be a nice start.

#15 No girls here

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:38 AM

Far far harder than I thought.  I had never heard of another baby sleeping as badly as DS1 did, or whinging as much as he did, and I still can't believe a baby could get by on that little sleep.  None of my three have been good sleepers so I have found that very difficult.

The terrible twos on the other hand was a non-event for me (still to get there with DS3)

#16 antsy

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:41 AM

Definitely harder! When I was pregnant people would tell me to try and rest as much as possible because once the baby is here there wont be time to relax. I used to think they were either exaggerating or they were disorganised and wouldnt have such a hard time if they organised themselves. HA!! I definitely learned that lesson. I couldnt believe how much a little baby takes over your life. My first had reflux too, so she would scream all day long and was very difficult to feed. Sooo hard and so stressful!

My second and third kids didnt have reflux, so they were easier babies, but it is still a lot of work. I get very little time to myself these days before someone needs something, maybe half an hour here or ten minutes there. I find it gets much easier after they turn 2 and can entertain themselves with toys for longer periods.

#17 ~A Poetic Winter~

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:43 AM

Harder than I ever realised and it sent me into a PND spiral.

#18 Tesseract

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:52 AM

Harder than I expected, but that was due having a baby that wouldn't latch, so learning to breastfeed was the hardest thing I've ever done (and I've done some stuff in my life!). The rest of the newborn stuff was easy.

I've had a few friends do Gina Ford, they all end up stressed out messes, it's awful sad.gif It's especially difficult to establish breastfeeding and a milk supply when using parent-directed feeding. Newborns have tiny stomachs, and the sometimes need to eat more than once every three hours! Not only is this obvious to somebody tuned into their baby, but all the scientific evidence agrees! Please encourage your friend to research the controversy around Gina Ford, to at least give her some perspective as to what she is signing up for. So sad to see hungry newborns and stressed mums due to that damned book!

#19 1miss2littlemen

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:52 AM

I found that my first, DD, was so much easyer then DS. I have never read a baby book. I dont think its a good idea, because it sets you up for 'failure', Like PP said its not a bible yet some people take it as that, LOL I would probably have been one of thoes people so i stayed away.
I think I was lucky with my first but, DD only woke 2 times a night from Birth to 3 weeks and from 3 weeks on slept though, till she started teething and then woke up ever hours overnight for one night. DS oh boy! He crys all the time and squeals chronicaly.
Two babies very different but my first was definatly the easyest, go figure??

#20 wombat

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:56 AM

No-one told me how much fun it would be.  Sure it was hard, but that was all I heard about from others, not all the fun stuff.  I was actually surprised by how much fun a little baby was

#21 winkywonkeydonkey

Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:58 AM

QUOTE (hopeforthefuture @ 23/01/2012, 05:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So very much harder than I thought. I had read all the books, spoken with everyone and generally prepared myself the best I could. But parenting, to do this, is so much harder than I ever thought.

Maybe I'm just not built to be a mother.  shrug.gif

yyes.gif
I feel the same.
To be completely honest,  the second day after he was born i felt like walking out of the hospital alone and running away.  much harder than i thought and i didnt fall in love straight away...

second baby was a much more difficult baby but easier to deal with because I knew what to do.

#22 Trixie23

Posted 23 January 2012 - 07:01 AM

I found it so much harder than expected. I am eldest of four, read all the books, love kids, planned for this baby, feel very maternal.....how hard can it be!? Well, probably the hardest thing I have ever done. My DS is such a lovely baby, happy and content, BF's well, no issues however for me it was the sleep deprivation that I was not prepared for. I am usually a 9 hour per night (in one go) type of girl so this was the biggest shock for me. At 15 weeks he is now sleeping longer stretches at a go and I am finally feeling like I might be 'ok' at being a Mother.

#23 kpingitquiet

Posted 23 January 2012 - 07:05 AM

I've graduated from this group, but it was harder. I wasn't expecting the birth issues we had, nor her weight loss in the hospital, nor my subsequent paranoia over her weight gain, nor feeding difficulties, etc. The fun part is...newborns aren't newborns forever, and they're awfully cute. You get over the hard stuff and start just enjoying their fingers and toes and advances and tumbles and things get simpler.

#24 tick

Posted 23 January 2012 - 07:13 AM

I found it much easier.  It got progressively harder once she started moving though.  Just thinking about looking after a toddler wears me out!

#25 farfaraway

Posted 23 January 2012 - 07:22 AM

Harder - I apparently don't breed sleepers and the first 12 months of each of their lives were exceptionally hard.




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