Jump to content

Just turned 41 - so wanting a second child - have to use IVF - any advice?


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 starpepper

Posted 06 January 2012 - 09:02 PM

Hello.  I have just turned 41.  I have a little boy who was born in mid 2009.  My husband has a balanced translocation of chromosomes so we have to use IVF using donor sperm or we have very high risk of a child with severe disabilities or repeated miscarriages.  This was how our son was conceived.  
We did try for some time with husband's sperm (naturally and IUIs and one round of IVF) but had no luck - just BFN's or miscarriages.  Then we did three more rounds of IVF and on the fourth one, we were so blessed to have one that worked.
I then started to try for #2 when my son was 13 mths old.  We have now done five full cycles and two frozen transfers since starting to try for #2 and have had one m/c at about 11 wks (I think from memory it was a Trisomy 17) and two early losses.  
I usually get about 6-8 eggs at EPU, then some get weeded out for immaturity or quality reasons and I end up with 2-3 eggs.  One time when trying to have #1 I only had 1 to transfer I think and another time, when I was put on a higher dose of FSH drugs, I had none fertilise.  
So I haven't done PGD or anything like that as I don't have many.  All my transfers have been at Day 2 or 3 - I think because I don't have too many so they like to get them back in so I have something to transfer.  I have had two cycles in all the ones I've done (9 full cycles now) where I've ended up with either 1 or 2 to freeze.  I usually get 2 put back in each time if there are 2 good ones.  Last cycle, I had 3 put back in as the third one looked a bit fragmented so I decided it wasn't worth freezing.  I had some positive home tests and a positive blood test but then it fizzled out - again.
The ones that get transferred usually look quite good quality and the scientists are hopeful but they either don't work out or they implant and then fizzle out.  
I know that I am dealing with an age factor that will impact quite a lot and I am also overweight - which I know I should do something about.  I am the same weight as when trying for #1.  My FS has a really good reputation and I think sometimes about trying another FS but am a bit scared to do this - no good reason why.  My FS is very much a numbers person, very practical and clinical, and he is not a believer in things like acupuncture or other alternatives.  I always do acupuncture off my own bat and I never know if it really works or not but I do it anyway.  I know that there is research that really says it helps and also research that says it doesn't.  I know that my FS is up with things and that if there was something that he thought would help, he would try it.  He likes to keep his statistics looking good so I think he would like things to work out for me.
He has kept me on the same protocol all the way through as even though I don't get heaps of eggs, I do get a few each time and they look okay.  He says that with my age factor, there is still a chance but I just have to keep plugging away and hope to strike that lucky one that keeps going.  
I am torn about whether to keep going like this - we are so broke from repeated IVF - or whether to try another doctor or any other alternative treatments.  I don't have a lot of time left - would so love a sibling for our lovely boy.  
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

Edited by starpepper, 06 January 2012 - 09:07 PM.


#2 cheshire_cat

Posted 07 January 2012 - 07:12 PM

*****pg mentioned****

Hi starpepper- I'm not a parent yet but wanted to reply anyway original.gif .

I am finally pregnant after 5 failed cycles which also included many, many frozen transfers. This successful cycle was our first attempt at PGD. It turns out we had been putting back lots of embryos that 'looked' great but actually weren't. I'm so glad we gave PGD a try as I was skeptical at first.

My advice would be- give PGD a go, if you think you can afford it somehow. It could save some time and heartbreak & give you some answers as to why your cycles haven't worked. At least then you'll know you've tried everything.

ETA- we changed clinics in order to do PGD- like yours our original FS was happy to 'keep plugging'. But I was going crazy doing the same thing again & again with no results at all. I felt sure there must be something wrong, or that there must be something different we could try. I know a lot of the time it really IS a 'numbers game'- but as time is sadly not on your side, I wouldn't wait any longer to try something different.

All the best of luck.
xxx

Edited by cheshire_cat, 07 January 2012 - 07:17 PM.


#3 Monket

Posted 07 January 2012 - 08:16 PM

After repeated failed cycles at my clinic (3 day transfers) I changed clinics and had quite amazing results.  I was 40 at the time.  With the first clinic, I only ever produced 2-3 embryos.  My one cycle with the new clinic produced 10 eggs, 7 fertilized, 5 blasts with 2 put back resulting in one healthy baby.

I put this down to better monitoring and a really amazing lab.  I guess what I am trying to say is, if it is not working with your current clinic, perhaps it is time to try something different.  I did have to beg the new FS to give me a go as I had high FSH and he wasn't too keen on letting me cycle.  Needless to say, he was astounded at the results, and I hope, a little more open to further patients of 'advanced maternal age!'

Good luck to you.  I hope you are successful in expanding your family.


#4 chloe69

Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:16 PM

Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.


btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.

Chloe

#5 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 08:56 AM

Hi am new to this and hoping to meet people in a similar situation to me. I am a 40 year old mother of a 3 year old. Had an early miscarriage March 2011 and an ectopic pregnancy in Dec 2011, resulting in me having my right tube removed and being referred to IVF - Repromed. My husband has no ferility issues. I am about to start the course of hormone injections in about a week. I received my AMH and FSH levels this week and they are indicate low ovarian reserve - AMH 8 and FSH 12.5. I have been prescribed the max dose of Gonal-F 300. My referring doc thinks I will only get 5 eggs on IVF and these may not fertilise. Can anyone please tell me if they have had a similar background and experience?

#6 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 09:09 AM

QUOTE (chloe69 @ 03/02/2012, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.


btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.

Chloe


Chloe, could you please post the link "over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception" as I couldn't find it?
Thanks BM

#7 Torquoise

Posted 29 March 2012 - 01:26 PM

Hi Ladies,

Hope you don't mind me joining this group, I was originally in the over 40's and trying to conceive naturally but I believe that group has closed.

Starpepper- Just like you I also have a very strong wanting for a second child.

I'm  43 and would like a second child but my DH doesn't feel the same way.  We had our first attempt at IVF about 2 years ago and had a miscarriage  at 12 weeks which was quite difficult to come to terms with.   I believe  my DH is worried about  my age and risk's for the unborn child,  but  I'm thinking that I will have regrets when I'm fifty because we didn't  try IVF again for the second time.

I've seen my Gynaecologists  and I've done all the test and have now booked the FS which will be in  another months time. I am getting quite depressed over it as I don't  know what I'm going to do........?  My DH doesn't want to go through IVF  again as his quite content with only having the one child now. My DH is  also worried that if we go through it again and it doesn't work how  will I be too.

I already have a 10 year  old DD who is my pride and joy but my DH is also worried about the age  gap but that doesn't concern me. I still think it would be beautiful for  my DD to have a little sister or brother.
We have tried  naturally to conceive for the last 2 years but I'm thinking  realistically it's not going to happen now.  I've tried to stay positive  but it's just getting harder and harder when you have the strong desire  for a second child and you see all your friends and family having  babies easily.  I have a void in my life and I feel I need to complete  it.
I know I should be very grateful that I have already a beautiful DD but it's just so difficult at times.

Good luck ladies and I hope your dreams are fulfilled.
    

Torquoise

#8 emski72

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:04 AM

Boomer the over 40's thread is here http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...70426&st=40



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How to talk about your pregnancy at work

The workplace isn't always a friendly place for pregnant women. Yet working women inclined to conceal a pregnancy from prying coworkers may be better off opening up and carrying on, according to a new study.

Tell us your story to win!

To celebrate Mother's Day this year we are giving you the chance to win one of five great prizes simply by telling us your story.

Where to get help to help your baby sleep

There is so much pressure about having a baby who sleeps 'all night' , it's no wonder you worry about your baby if she wakes in the night.

Vintage baby names having a comeback

What makes some names have comebacks while others silently fade into oblivion? A few factors come into play.

When your partner doesn't want you to breastfeed

Dads can have many reasons for not wanting their partners to breastfeed their baby, but both parents should learn more about it before making a final decision.

Model mum Sarah Stage shares post-baby selfie

Most new mums would recoil at the thought, but Sarah Stage has shared a post-pregnancy selfie just four days after giving birth.

I'll admit it: I have last child parenting fatigue

If you're a new mum and feeling ignored by the older mum/the old hand/the has-been, please know, it's not you, it's me. Blame the last child parenting fatigue.

Exhaustion is not the same as tiredness

Having a new baby isn't tiring - it can be downright exhausting.

Five posterior babies, four home births

I was on a high. I'd done it all by myself with no help from anyone.

Mum's list of birthday gift demands goes viral

We're big fans of kids' birthday parties - but this is one bash we're glad we didn't get an invite to.

Kate Middleton to receive 'loyalty discount' for second birth

Everybody loves a bargain - including the Duchess of Cambridge.

Fish & chip shop owner's sad note goes viral

A lengthy note put on the window of a fish & chip shop has gone viral due to the writer's serious doubts about the romance of travel.

Pregnant women need good nutrition advice, not judgment

Pregnant women are under pressure to do all the "right things" to have a healthy child. It results in women feeling judged about their decisions.

When your child wants you to have another baby

Giving your child a sibling when you don't want to have another baby can be a complex issue.

William Tyrrell's mum speaks out: 'We hope he is still alive'

The mother of missing toddler William Tyrrell says she has a vision that somebody "picked him up and moved him on ... that's the only way ... to explain for him not to be there".

Family comes first for 23-year-old Tommy Connolly

Most 23-year-old blokes spend their hard earned cash on fun times with mates or romantic dinners with their girlfriend, but not Tommy Connolly.

Newborn all-girl quintuplets 'doing great'

The first all-female quintuplets born in the United States were delivered last week, at 28 weeks and two days.

Model mum's big baby silences critics

He may be less than a week old, but baby James Hunter has already helped his model mum silence her critics.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Last chance to win a year's supply of toys

You have less than a week left to win your child one of five Fisher-Price toy packs valued at over $600 each - hurry, enter today!

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Last week to submit a picture of your baby at play for your chance to win. Visit the Play Wall to view our recent entries.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.