Jump to content

Just turned 41 - so wanting a second child - have to use IVF - any advice?


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 starpepper

Posted 06 January 2012 - 09:02 PM

Hello.  I have just turned 41.  I have a little boy who was born in mid 2009.  My husband has a balanced translocation of chromosomes so we have to use IVF using donor sperm or we have very high risk of a child with severe disabilities or repeated miscarriages.  This was how our son was conceived.  
We did try for some time with husband's sperm (naturally and IUIs and one round of IVF) but had no luck - just BFN's or miscarriages.  Then we did three more rounds of IVF and on the fourth one, we were so blessed to have one that worked.
I then started to try for #2 when my son was 13 mths old.  We have now done five full cycles and two frozen transfers since starting to try for #2 and have had one m/c at about 11 wks (I think from memory it was a Trisomy 17) and two early losses.  
I usually get about 6-8 eggs at EPU, then some get weeded out for immaturity or quality reasons and I end up with 2-3 eggs.  One time when trying to have #1 I only had 1 to transfer I think and another time, when I was put on a higher dose of FSH drugs, I had none fertilise.  
So I haven't done PGD or anything like that as I don't have many.  All my transfers have been at Day 2 or 3 - I think because I don't have too many so they like to get them back in so I have something to transfer.  I have had two cycles in all the ones I've done (9 full cycles now) where I've ended up with either 1 or 2 to freeze.  I usually get 2 put back in each time if there are 2 good ones.  Last cycle, I had 3 put back in as the third one looked a bit fragmented so I decided it wasn't worth freezing.  I had some positive home tests and a positive blood test but then it fizzled out - again.
The ones that get transferred usually look quite good quality and the scientists are hopeful but they either don't work out or they implant and then fizzle out.  
I know that I am dealing with an age factor that will impact quite a lot and I am also overweight - which I know I should do something about.  I am the same weight as when trying for #1.  My FS has a really good reputation and I think sometimes about trying another FS but am a bit scared to do this - no good reason why.  My FS is very much a numbers person, very practical and clinical, and he is not a believer in things like acupuncture or other alternatives.  I always do acupuncture off my own bat and I never know if it really works or not but I do it anyway.  I know that there is research that really says it helps and also research that says it doesn't.  I know that my FS is up with things and that if there was something that he thought would help, he would try it.  He likes to keep his statistics looking good so I think he would like things to work out for me.
He has kept me on the same protocol all the way through as even though I don't get heaps of eggs, I do get a few each time and they look okay.  He says that with my age factor, there is still a chance but I just have to keep plugging away and hope to strike that lucky one that keeps going.  
I am torn about whether to keep going like this - we are so broke from repeated IVF - or whether to try another doctor or any other alternative treatments.  I don't have a lot of time left - would so love a sibling for our lovely boy.  
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

Edited by starpepper, 06 January 2012 - 09:07 PM.


#2 cheshire_cat

Posted 07 January 2012 - 07:12 PM

*****pg mentioned****

Hi starpepper- I'm not a parent yet but wanted to reply anyway original.gif .

I am finally pregnant after 5 failed cycles which also included many, many frozen transfers. This successful cycle was our first attempt at PGD. It turns out we had been putting back lots of embryos that 'looked' great but actually weren't. I'm so glad we gave PGD a try as I was skeptical at first.

My advice would be- give PGD a go, if you think you can afford it somehow. It could save some time and heartbreak & give you some answers as to why your cycles haven't worked. At least then you'll know you've tried everything.

ETA- we changed clinics in order to do PGD- like yours our original FS was happy to 'keep plugging'. But I was going crazy doing the same thing again & again with no results at all. I felt sure there must be something wrong, or that there must be something different we could try. I know a lot of the time it really IS a 'numbers game'- but as time is sadly not on your side, I wouldn't wait any longer to try something different.

All the best of luck.
xxx

Edited by cheshire_cat, 07 January 2012 - 07:17 PM.


#3 Monket

Posted 07 January 2012 - 08:16 PM

After repeated failed cycles at my clinic (3 day transfers) I changed clinics and had quite amazing results.  I was 40 at the time.  With the first clinic, I only ever produced 2-3 embryos.  My one cycle with the new clinic produced 10 eggs, 7 fertilized, 5 blasts with 2 put back resulting in one healthy baby.

I put this down to better monitoring and a really amazing lab.  I guess what I am trying to say is, if it is not working with your current clinic, perhaps it is time to try something different.  I did have to beg the new FS to give me a go as I had high FSH and he wasn't too keen on letting me cycle.  Needless to say, he was astounded at the results, and I hope, a little more open to further patients of 'advanced maternal age!'

Good luck to you.  I hope you are successful in expanding your family.


#4 chloe69

Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:16 PM

Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.


btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.

Chloe

#5 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 08:56 AM

Hi am new to this and hoping to meet people in a similar situation to me. I am a 40 year old mother of a 3 year old. Had an early miscarriage March 2011 and an ectopic pregnancy in Dec 2011, resulting in me having my right tube removed and being referred to IVF - Repromed. My husband has no ferility issues. I am about to start the course of hormone injections in about a week. I received my AMH and FSH levels this week and they are indicate low ovarian reserve - AMH 8 and FSH 12.5. I have been prescribed the max dose of Gonal-F 300. My referring doc thinks I will only get 5 eggs on IVF and these may not fertilise. Can anyone please tell me if they have had a similar background and experience?

#6 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 09:09 AM

QUOTE (chloe69 @ 03/02/2012, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.


btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.

Chloe


Chloe, could you please post the link "over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception" as I couldn't find it?
Thanks BM

#7 Torquoise

Posted 29 March 2012 - 01:26 PM

Hi Ladies,

Hope you don't mind me joining this group, I was originally in the over 40's and trying to conceive naturally but I believe that group has closed.

Starpepper- Just like you I also have a very strong wanting for a second child.

I'm  43 and would like a second child but my DH doesn't feel the same way.  We had our first attempt at IVF about 2 years ago and had a miscarriage  at 12 weeks which was quite difficult to come to terms with.   I believe  my DH is worried about  my age and risk's for the unborn child,  but  I'm thinking that I will have regrets when I'm fifty because we didn't  try IVF again for the second time.

I've seen my Gynaecologists  and I've done all the test and have now booked the FS which will be in  another months time. I am getting quite depressed over it as I don't  know what I'm going to do........?  My DH doesn't want to go through IVF  again as his quite content with only having the one child now. My DH is  also worried that if we go through it again and it doesn't work how  will I be too.

I already have a 10 year  old DD who is my pride and joy but my DH is also worried about the age  gap but that doesn't concern me. I still think it would be beautiful for  my DD to have a little sister or brother.
We have tried  naturally to conceive for the last 2 years but I'm thinking  realistically it's not going to happen now.  I've tried to stay positive  but it's just getting harder and harder when you have the strong desire  for a second child and you see all your friends and family having  babies easily.  I have a void in my life and I feel I need to complete  it.
I know I should be very grateful that I have already a beautiful DD but it's just so difficult at times.

Good luck ladies and I hope your dreams are fulfilled.
    

Torquoise

#8 emski72

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:04 AM

Boomer the over 40's thread is here http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...70426&st=40



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.