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Just turned 41 - so wanting a second child - have to use IVF - any advice?

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#1 starpepper

Posted 06 January 2012 - 09:02 PM

Hello.  I have just turned 41.  I have a little boy who was born in mid 2009.  My husband has a balanced translocation of chromosomes so we have to use IVF using donor sperm or we have very high risk of a child with severe disabilities or repeated miscarriages.  This was how our son was conceived.  
We did try for some time with husband's sperm (naturally and IUIs and one round of IVF) but had no luck - just BFN's or miscarriages.  Then we did three more rounds of IVF and on the fourth one, we were so blessed to have one that worked.
I then started to try for #2 when my son was 13 mths old.  We have now done five full cycles and two frozen transfers since starting to try for #2 and have had one m/c at about 11 wks (I think from memory it was a Trisomy 17) and two early losses.  
I usually get about 6-8 eggs at EPU, then some get weeded out for immaturity or quality reasons and I end up with 2-3 eggs.  One time when trying to have #1 I only had 1 to transfer I think and another time, when I was put on a higher dose of FSH drugs, I had none fertilise.  
So I haven't done PGD or anything like that as I don't have many.  All my transfers have been at Day 2 or 3 - I think because I don't have too many so they like to get them back in so I have something to transfer.  I have had two cycles in all the ones I've done (9 full cycles now) where I've ended up with either 1 or 2 to freeze.  I usually get 2 put back in each time if there are 2 good ones.  Last cycle, I had 3 put back in as the third one looked a bit fragmented so I decided it wasn't worth freezing.  I had some positive home tests and a positive blood test but then it fizzled out - again.
The ones that get transferred usually look quite good quality and the scientists are hopeful but they either don't work out or they implant and then fizzle out.  
I know that I am dealing with an age factor that will impact quite a lot and I am also overweight - which I know I should do something about.  I am the same weight as when trying for #1.  My FS has a really good reputation and I think sometimes about trying another FS but am a bit scared to do this - no good reason why.  My FS is very much a numbers person, very practical and clinical, and he is not a believer in things like acupuncture or other alternatives.  I always do acupuncture off my own bat and I never know if it really works or not but I do it anyway.  I know that there is research that really says it helps and also research that says it doesn't.  I know that my FS is up with things and that if there was something that he thought would help, he would try it.  He likes to keep his statistics looking good so I think he would like things to work out for me.
He has kept me on the same protocol all the way through as even though I don't get heaps of eggs, I do get a few each time and they look okay.  He says that with my age factor, there is still a chance but I just have to keep plugging away and hope to strike that lucky one that keeps going.  
I am torn about whether to keep going like this - we are so broke from repeated IVF - or whether to try another doctor or any other alternative treatments.  I don't have a lot of time left - would so love a sibling for our lovely boy.  
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

Edited by starpepper, 06 January 2012 - 09:07 PM.

#2 cheshire_cat

Posted 07 January 2012 - 07:12 PM

*****pg mentioned****

Hi starpepper- I'm not a parent yet but wanted to reply anyway original.gif .

I am finally pregnant after 5 failed cycles which also included many, many frozen transfers. This successful cycle was our first attempt at PGD. It turns out we had been putting back lots of embryos that 'looked' great but actually weren't. I'm so glad we gave PGD a try as I was skeptical at first.

My advice would be- give PGD a go, if you think you can afford it somehow. It could save some time and heartbreak & give you some answers as to why your cycles haven't worked. At least then you'll know you've tried everything.

ETA- we changed clinics in order to do PGD- like yours our original FS was happy to 'keep plugging'. But I was going crazy doing the same thing again & again with no results at all. I felt sure there must be something wrong, or that there must be something different we could try. I know a lot of the time it really IS a 'numbers game'- but as time is sadly not on your side, I wouldn't wait any longer to try something different.

All the best of luck.

Edited by cheshire_cat, 07 January 2012 - 07:17 PM.

#3 Monket

Posted 07 January 2012 - 08:16 PM

After repeated failed cycles at my clinic (3 day transfers) I changed clinics and had quite amazing results.  I was 40 at the time.  With the first clinic, I only ever produced 2-3 embryos.  My one cycle with the new clinic produced 10 eggs, 7 fertilized, 5 blasts with 2 put back resulting in one healthy baby.

I put this down to better monitoring and a really amazing lab.  I guess what I am trying to say is, if it is not working with your current clinic, perhaps it is time to try something different.  I did have to beg the new FS to give me a go as I had high FSH and he wasn't too keen on letting me cycle.  Needless to say, he was astounded at the results, and I hope, a little more open to further patients of 'advanced maternal age!'

Good luck to you.  I hope you are successful in expanding your family.

#4 chloe69

Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:16 PM

Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.

btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.


#5 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 08:56 AM

Hi am new to this and hoping to meet people in a similar situation to me. I am a 40 year old mother of a 3 year old. Had an early miscarriage March 2011 and an ectopic pregnancy in Dec 2011, resulting in me having my right tube removed and being referred to IVF - Repromed. My husband has no ferility issues. I am about to start the course of hormone injections in about a week. I received my AMH and FSH levels this week and they are indicate low ovarian reserve - AMH 8 and FSH 12.5. I have been prescribed the max dose of Gonal-F 300. My referring doc thinks I will only get 5 eggs on IVF and these may not fertilise. Can anyone please tell me if they have had a similar background and experience?

#6 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 09:09 AM

QUOTE (chloe69 @ 03/02/2012, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.

btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.


Chloe, could you please post the link "over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception" as I couldn't find it?
Thanks BM

#7 Torquoise

Posted 29 March 2012 - 01:26 PM

Hi Ladies,

Hope you don't mind me joining this group, I was originally in the over 40's and trying to conceive naturally but I believe that group has closed.

Starpepper- Just like you I also have a very strong wanting for a second child.

I'm  43 and would like a second child but my DH doesn't feel the same way.  We had our first attempt at IVF about 2 years ago and had a miscarriage  at 12 weeks which was quite difficult to come to terms with.   I believe  my DH is worried about  my age and risk's for the unborn child,  but  I'm thinking that I will have regrets when I'm fifty because we didn't  try IVF again for the second time.

I've seen my Gynaecologists  and I've done all the test and have now booked the FS which will be in  another months time. I am getting quite depressed over it as I don't  know what I'm going to do........?  My DH doesn't want to go through IVF  again as his quite content with only having the one child now. My DH is  also worried that if we go through it again and it doesn't work how  will I be too.

I already have a 10 year  old DD who is my pride and joy but my DH is also worried about the age  gap but that doesn't concern me. I still think it would be beautiful for  my DD to have a little sister or brother.
We have tried  naturally to conceive for the last 2 years but I'm thinking  realistically it's not going to happen now.  I've tried to stay positive  but it's just getting harder and harder when you have the strong desire  for a second child and you see all your friends and family having  babies easily.  I have a void in my life and I feel I need to complete  it.
I know I should be very grateful that I have already a beautiful DD but it's just so difficult at times.

Good luck ladies and I hope your dreams are fulfilled.


#8 emski72

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:04 AM

Boomer the over 40's thread is here http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...70426&st=40

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