Jump to content

Just turned 41 - so wanting a second child - have to use IVF - any advice?


  • Please log in to reply
7 replies to this topic

#1 starpepper

Posted 06 January 2012 - 09:02 PM

Hello.  I have just turned 41.  I have a little boy who was born in mid 2009.  My husband has a balanced translocation of chromosomes so we have to use IVF using donor sperm or we have very high risk of a child with severe disabilities or repeated miscarriages.  This was how our son was conceived.  
We did try for some time with husband's sperm (naturally and IUIs and one round of IVF) but had no luck - just BFN's or miscarriages.  Then we did three more rounds of IVF and on the fourth one, we were so blessed to have one that worked.
I then started to try for #2 when my son was 13 mths old.  We have now done five full cycles and two frozen transfers since starting to try for #2 and have had one m/c at about 11 wks (I think from memory it was a Trisomy 17) and two early losses.  
I usually get about 6-8 eggs at EPU, then some get weeded out for immaturity or quality reasons and I end up with 2-3 eggs.  One time when trying to have #1 I only had 1 to transfer I think and another time, when I was put on a higher dose of FSH drugs, I had none fertilise.  
So I haven't done PGD or anything like that as I don't have many.  All my transfers have been at Day 2 or 3 - I think because I don't have too many so they like to get them back in so I have something to transfer.  I have had two cycles in all the ones I've done (9 full cycles now) where I've ended up with either 1 or 2 to freeze.  I usually get 2 put back in each time if there are 2 good ones.  Last cycle, I had 3 put back in as the third one looked a bit fragmented so I decided it wasn't worth freezing.  I had some positive home tests and a positive blood test but then it fizzled out - again.
The ones that get transferred usually look quite good quality and the scientists are hopeful but they either don't work out or they implant and then fizzle out.  
I know that I am dealing with an age factor that will impact quite a lot and I am also overweight - which I know I should do something about.  I am the same weight as when trying for #1.  My FS has a really good reputation and I think sometimes about trying another FS but am a bit scared to do this - no good reason why.  My FS is very much a numbers person, very practical and clinical, and he is not a believer in things like acupuncture or other alternatives.  I always do acupuncture off my own bat and I never know if it really works or not but I do it anyway.  I know that there is research that really says it helps and also research that says it doesn't.  I know that my FS is up with things and that if there was something that he thought would help, he would try it.  He likes to keep his statistics looking good so I think he would like things to work out for me.
He has kept me on the same protocol all the way through as even though I don't get heaps of eggs, I do get a few each time and they look okay.  He says that with my age factor, there is still a chance but I just have to keep plugging away and hope to strike that lucky one that keeps going.  
I am torn about whether to keep going like this - we are so broke from repeated IVF - or whether to try another doctor or any other alternative treatments.  I don't have a lot of time left - would so love a sibling for our lovely boy.  
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

Edited by starpepper, 06 January 2012 - 09:07 PM.


#2 cheshire_cat

Posted 07 January 2012 - 07:12 PM

*****pg mentioned****

Hi starpepper- I'm not a parent yet but wanted to reply anyway original.gif .

I am finally pregnant after 5 failed cycles which also included many, many frozen transfers. This successful cycle was our first attempt at PGD. It turns out we had been putting back lots of embryos that 'looked' great but actually weren't. I'm so glad we gave PGD a try as I was skeptical at first.

My advice would be- give PGD a go, if you think you can afford it somehow. It could save some time and heartbreak & give you some answers as to why your cycles haven't worked. At least then you'll know you've tried everything.

ETA- we changed clinics in order to do PGD- like yours our original FS was happy to 'keep plugging'. But I was going crazy doing the same thing again & again with no results at all. I felt sure there must be something wrong, or that there must be something different we could try. I know a lot of the time it really IS a 'numbers game'- but as time is sadly not on your side, I wouldn't wait any longer to try something different.

All the best of luck.
xxx

Edited by cheshire_cat, 07 January 2012 - 07:17 PM.


#3 Monket

Posted 07 January 2012 - 08:16 PM

After repeated failed cycles at my clinic (3 day transfers) I changed clinics and had quite amazing results.  I was 40 at the time.  With the first clinic, I only ever produced 2-3 embryos.  My one cycle with the new clinic produced 10 eggs, 7 fertilized, 5 blasts with 2 put back resulting in one healthy baby.

I put this down to better monitoring and a really amazing lab.  I guess what I am trying to say is, if it is not working with your current clinic, perhaps it is time to try something different.  I did have to beg the new FS to give me a go as I had high FSH and he wasn't too keen on letting me cycle.  Needless to say, he was astounded at the results, and I hope, a little more open to further patients of 'advanced maternal age!'

Good luck to you.  I hope you are successful in expanding your family.


#4 chloe69

Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:16 PM

Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.


btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.

Chloe

#5 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 08:56 AM

Hi am new to this and hoping to meet people in a similar situation to me. I am a 40 year old mother of a 3 year old. Had an early miscarriage March 2011 and an ectopic pregnancy in Dec 2011, resulting in me having my right tube removed and being referred to IVF - Repromed. My husband has no ferility issues. I am about to start the course of hormone injections in about a week. I received my AMH and FSH levels this week and they are indicate low ovarian reserve - AMH 8 and FSH 12.5. I have been prescribed the max dose of Gonal-F 300. My referring doc thinks I will only get 5 eggs on IVF and these may not fertilise. Can anyone please tell me if they have had a similar background and experience?

#6 Boomer'smum

Posted 02 March 2012 - 09:09 AM

QUOTE (chloe69 @ 03/02/2012, 12:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Starpepper - if things aren't working...no harm in changing FS.


btw - there is a over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception. All of the members are dealing with various issues of infertility - including those that are a result of "advance maternal age"...and have great advice and support if you want to drop in.

Chloe


Chloe, could you please post the link "over 40s IVF TTC group forum in Assisted Conception" as I couldn't find it?
Thanks BM

#7 Torquoise

Posted 29 March 2012 - 01:26 PM

Hi Ladies,

Hope you don't mind me joining this group, I was originally in the over 40's and trying to conceive naturally but I believe that group has closed.

Starpepper- Just like you I also have a very strong wanting for a second child.

I'm  43 and would like a second child but my DH doesn't feel the same way.  We had our first attempt at IVF about 2 years ago and had a miscarriage  at 12 weeks which was quite difficult to come to terms with.   I believe  my DH is worried about  my age and risk's for the unborn child,  but  I'm thinking that I will have regrets when I'm fifty because we didn't  try IVF again for the second time.

I've seen my Gynaecologists  and I've done all the test and have now booked the FS which will be in  another months time. I am getting quite depressed over it as I don't  know what I'm going to do........?  My DH doesn't want to go through IVF  again as his quite content with only having the one child now. My DH is  also worried that if we go through it again and it doesn't work how  will I be too.

I already have a 10 year  old DD who is my pride and joy but my DH is also worried about the age  gap but that doesn't concern me. I still think it would be beautiful for  my DD to have a little sister or brother.
We have tried  naturally to conceive for the last 2 years but I'm thinking  realistically it's not going to happen now.  I've tried to stay positive  but it's just getting harder and harder when you have the strong desire  for a second child and you see all your friends and family having  babies easily.  I have a void in my life and I feel I need to complete  it.
I know I should be very grateful that I have already a beautiful DD but it's just so difficult at times.

Good luck ladies and I hope your dreams are fulfilled.
    

Torquoise

#8 emski72

Posted 10 April 2012 - 12:04 AM

Boomer the over 40's thread is here http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...70426&st=40



1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Public welcome outside church for Princess Charlotte's christening

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have invited well-wishers to see Princess Charlotte outside church in Sandringham on day of her baptism.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Channel 10's Sarah Harris expecting first child

The Studio host Sarah Harris doesn't mind if her first baby is a boy or girl, but she does hope it is born with one thing in particular.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.