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TTC after Vasectomy or Reversal or IVF Buddy Group #23

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#26 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 30 December 2011 - 03:24 PM

Thanks Flowergirl  original.gif

#27 cat 79

Posted 31 December 2011 - 09:34 AM

Hi ,Hope Faith Love ,i am still around its now 15mths since my dh had his reversal and i now hold out little hope.We had two not so good sperm test results ,how long has it been since your dh had a vasectomy ?i am now going along the lines of the longer you leave it before getting reversed the less chance of success ,maybe i am wrong but we had 9.5 years inbetween and some others who had much less time have had babies .I so feel everyword you have written ,we went back and forth about money ,space ,the wrong sort of car and whatever else !then my dad kindly lent us the money and my dh was still dragging his heels until we got to the clinic door !it to put a huge strain on our marriage and i somehow wish i could of convinced him earlier ,maybe the outcome would be the same but think people should know that they maybe shouldnt leave it to long before getting reversed if thats what you want to do .best of luck i know exactly how you feel.

#28 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 31 December 2011 - 03:18 PM

cat 79 - sorry to hear that so far you haven't had any success falling pregnant since your DH had the reversal.  It has only been 6 months since the vasectomy  blush.gif It did not take long to regret it sad.gif  He has had the test since then and now has a zero sperm count.  I held on to some glimmer of hope that when he had the test he would still have some - even a tiny amount - but it was not to be and I guess that is what the vasectomy was aiming for   sad.gif  At this stage I am thinking of just backing off and not saying anything.  Hopefully he still keeps the appointment with our GP/OB and we go from there, but I am keeping my fingers crossed.  I am still reeling from out last conversation and too scared to even think about it now.  Thank you for your understanding and I hope that the new year brings you some luck  hhugs.gif

#29 cat 79

Posted 31 December 2011 - 03:54 PM

my dh went for a vasectomy  our youngest was three weeks old ,i tried everything to stop him ,i took all the money ,cards and his wallet ,and in total desperation his car keys !but he got my dad to take him and it was bad when he came home ,he was bleeding badly and i was beyond devastated .the next day i went to the anzac day parade and he was fearful i would do something stupid with three kids in tow so he tagged along to but we never spoke at all that day !how old are your kids now ?the age gap worries me but i cant change that now,i would just love to have another baby .i also got the ungrateful thing all the time ,i always say to him i am in no way ungrateful for what i already have but would love more but if its not meant to be i just somehow have to accept that and move on.

#30 cat 79

Posted 31 December 2011 - 04:02 PM

i just went over your other posts HopeFaithLove and was so sorry to read about your
loss.how would you feel about having teenagers and a baby ?i dont know how much
mine would care for a baby in the house !but you never know ,hopefully it might all
work out one day,my dh says fifty is cut off age which is in eighteen months time for another
baby  but  i dont know if he is serious about that or not.

#31 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 31 December 2011 - 08:04 PM

Cat 79 - will send you a pm original.gif

#32 cat 79

Posted 01 January 2012 - 08:50 AM

i have sent you a PM hopefaithlove.

#33 mel43

Posted 02 January 2012 - 02:21 PM

Hi HopeFaithLove.
I still check in here frequently, but got a new phone for christmas, so haven't turned the computer on much since.

I really feel for you  hhugs.gif I thought my DH would say NO right from the get go, but I decided to ask him anyway. You never know, right? Well, he said a very hesitant maybe at first, so although I tried not to, I got got my hopes up a little bit.
He said yes after a while, so I was over the moon! But then a little while after, he changed his mind to a very firm No. I swear I cried non stop for at least a week sad.gif I didn't really know if our marriage could survive with me feeling so resentful. I feel horrible saying that, but it's the truth.

I really hope you can work it out with your DH, so you're both happy.

If you want to join our facebook group, PM me your real name (and maybe describe your profile pic, depending on how many of "you" there are on FB) and I'll add you to the group original.gif

#34 Guest_HopeFaithLove_*

Posted 02 January 2012 - 02:36 PM

mel43 - I would love to join your facebook group  biggrin.gif Will send you a pm with a link to my facebook account.

#35 sharrison

Posted 19 January 2012 - 09:48 AM

Hi ladies

Instead of lurking I thought I'd come out of the shadows.

I'm not yet TTC but since my partner has had a vasectomy, a VR is clearly on the cards for us, so I'm keen to know as much about the process as possible.

If I'm honest, I'm still wrapping my head around the idea. I have no health issues (at least that I am aware of) and part of me is a little resentful that instead of just ttc, we have to go through this process first. But my partner made the decision after having 2 kids with his ex and before I was on the scene.

I'd be curious to know how far in advance people had to book with their Dr to get a VR done. Is there a long wait? I turn 29 in a couple of weeks and its fair to say I'm getting a little antsy, I'd like the VR done as soon as possible.

#36 sharrison

Posted 20 January 2012 - 11:45 AM

Just thought of another question - did anyone have any testing done on themselves before ttheir partner had a VR?

I'm not aware that I have any fertility issues, always been regular etc but I suppose there could be something I'm not aware about. Do doctors recommend women get any sort of testing done first?

#37 FeralSingleMum

Posted 20 January 2012 - 11:58 AM


I like to join your group as DH and I heading down this path in a few months.

In May '11 DH got the snip and I was convinced it was all over for my baby days. I wasn't in support and felt that our family wasn't "complete". A few months ago he made an off hand comment that if he hadn't had the snip then we would be TTC. I was crushed and told him how much this comment had hurt me and opened up old wounds. He told me to leave with him but don't get your hopes up. I left it (though I was dying for answer) and the other day I brought it up and said I really need an answer so I can move on if the answer is no. He told me that his answer is yes and to start looking at VR. I can't tell you how happy I am!

I was wondering if any other PP's live in Perth and could suggest a clinic or Dr?

Thanks so much and best of luck to you all original.gif

#38 cat 79

Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:07 PM

i am one of the long termers now Dh+Me+2 and Sharrison !My dh had reversal 18mths ago with no success through the metro center Brisbane ,he had 9.5 years in between the original vasectomy and reversal which from what i know now is way to long and probably has left us with little chance of a pregnancy as we have had two sperm tests neither was good .most girls here have moved over to the facebook group ,there has been some success over there and hopefully more to come ,anyway welcome here and best of luck with the road you go down !

#39 cat 79

Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:10 PM

i didnt read your post well did i! Dh +me+2 !i am from Ipswich to !are you still here or was it Perth that i saw?

#40 ~*~flowergirl~*~

Posted 20 January 2012 - 02:59 PM

Hi and Welcome to sharrison and DH+Me+2

My DH had his VR in mid 09 and we're still TTCing (sigh)

We looked at VR and IVF and we opted to try the VR first.
Confirmed success with a SA so hopped straight into TTCing
after 6 months with no success he had a 2nd SA - showed 0 sperm
we can only assume it scarred over sometime after his first test

so we switched to IVF and have been doing that for nearly 2 years now - achieved 1 pg in this time but I mc at 9weeks

in answer to your questions sharrison...
Did we have to wait long?
we didn't have to wait long for the VR at all - from memory it was maybe 2 months??
Did I have any testing prior to the VR?
no as I already have children, but once we switched to IVF I had all their standard tests done

My advice would be to go to your GP together and get referals to a VR doc and an IVF doc that way you can explore your options and make an informed choice

hope that helps

and DH+Me+2 sorry I'm not in perth so can't help there

feel free to ask any other questions girls - I've found this forum really helpful for that

and best of luck to you both

#41 FeralSingleMum

Posted 20 January 2012 - 02:59 PM

QUOTE (cat 79 @ 20/01/2012, 01:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i didnt read your post well did i! Dh +me+2 !i am from Ipswich to !are you still here or was it Perth that i saw?

Hi Cat,

Yes I live in Perth now (can't work out how to change where I live??). But we can still PM if you like?

Sorry to hear you having such a hard time. Are you still going to keep trying? I wish you all the best for the future!

#42 sharrison

Posted 20 January 2012 - 03:18 PM

Thanks for the response flowergirl. I find it really helpful to talk to people who are going through the same process.

I'm leaning towards a similiar process as you - that is, try VR first and then if that doesnt work, IVF. It seems to be the cheaper option. And also nicer. I dont know a lot about IVF but I've seen friends go through it and it seems like a real emotional and financial rollercoaster.

But there are so many different opinions out there.

My partner had his vasectomy done quite a while ago, about 8 years, so I know our odds of it working are reduced.

#43 ~*~flowergirl~*~

Posted 20 January 2012 - 03:46 PM

if I had my time over, I would still do the VR first

IVF is utterly horrible

I recently read "15 percent pregnant" by Tony Hardy
that book gives a good idea of what IVF is like I think

#44 sharrison

Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:03 PM

When you say IVF is utterly horrible - do you mean the medical or emotional side?

A friend of mine used IVF and she looked ill the entire time - pale, bloated and just generally unwell. Its really put me off but I dont know if her experience was standard or not.

#45 ~*~flowergirl~*~

Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:38 PM

my experience is that IVF is horrible for my body, mind, bank account, relationships and everything else in my life

It's scary, invasive, dangerous, expensive, stressful, painful, confusing, heartbreaking and has made me do things I thought I would never do

And I'm sure that if I ever get a baby to take home because of it I will forget all about the negatives and say that it's the best thing ever

#46 Just-one-more

Posted 20 January 2012 - 06:53 PM

Hi there original.gif

I am back. I have taken a rather long break from EB in general and last time I was in here I wasnt sure if we would be going down the reversal path at all, and now...

we have a date booked!! There will be just under 2 years between Vas and Reversal. Im really hoping it works hands.gif

Its pre paid for with a non refundable deposit, my partners way of showing he means it this time after many "after this happens" and "Down the tracks"

Cat wub.gif Im so so sorry to still see you here sad.gif I would have loved to have found the thread with you off having a BFP somewhere sad.gif

As to everyone else, hi bbighug.gif

#47 cat 79

Posted 20 January 2012 - 09:08 PM

just one more who are you going through for reversal?

#48 Just-one-more

Posted 21 January 2012 - 09:15 AM

we are going through the local urologist that did the original procedure.

Im really nervous. before now i always thought once we were booked in i would feel a rush of relief but now im just scared it wont work sad.gif

#49 cat 79

Posted 21 January 2012 - 09:24 AM

when does your dh get reversed ,Just one more ?i so hope you are one of the lucky ones who
succeed with it ,i cant quite remember do you have other kids ?i think there will good news from some of the girls on the facebook page soon as there is good numbers floating around !

#50 Just-one-more

Posted 21 January 2012 - 01:18 PM

We have it booked for march.
3 kids already.

I would like to join the Facebook group, can you pm me an invite please?

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