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did/ dose anyone feel like this?

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#1 1miss2littlemen

Posted 16 October 2011 - 07:52 PM

Ok, I hate BF, I hated it with my DD and i hate it with this LO too, somethimes it makes me feel phisicaly ill. I dont know what to do about it. It is just the feeding him from my breast that I don't like, I really want him to have my breast milk but hate feeding. I love the time that we get together and that its somethign that only I can do for him.
I am just so confused and dont know if I want to continue. I feel alot of pressure from my mum to keep BF and its starting to really get to me. I feel so much pressure.
I am worried that if i choose to go to a bottle it will be of a disadvantage to him sad.gif
I want to be able to bottle feed him my milk and not have to feed him from my breast. Please help! Is there a way that I can do this at all and keep my milk supply up???
I am really starting to crack under all the pressure and feel I have no-one to talk to about it. My husband has no idea what it is like and just dosent care what I choose. He is no help at all sad.gif
I just need to know if there is anything I can do to make this work??

#2 nellr

Posted 16 October 2011 - 08:07 PM

I have to say, I felt exactly the same way with my first son and am still the same with my next one (arriving in five weeks). The thought of putting a baby to my breast absolutely and utterly revolts me (although oddly i have no prob being around my friends who breastfeed their bubs, for me though, it makes me physically gag). For reasons I cannot explain and haven't tried to figure out. Needless to say I bottle-fed from birth as I knew breastfeeding was not going to be an option. Ever.

I can't tell you what to do, but I urge you to do whatever you have to do feel good about yourself and your time with your new baby... REGARDLESS of the opinions of others. Your sanity is your priority and feeding yoru baby is going to be a daily (many times a day) activity that you want to enjoy, not fear or resent.

While I know not a lot about the effectiveness of expressing, I guess that's your first option if you wish to continue with breast milk. Otherwise, formula will not hurt your baby. If it helps you and he's growing, it will all be ok. My son is the brightest, healthiest, smartest and most loving child in the world and yet some would say we never bonded and he didn't receive the best start to life because of formula. Pffffft...

Think about what's 'best' for you and your baby as a whole. And to hell with anyone who judges whatever decision you make.

Edited for sp...

Edited by nellr, 16 October 2011 - 08:08 PM.

#3 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 16 October 2011 - 08:09 PM

Firstly, stop beating yourself up. Don't listen to anyone telling you what you 'have' to do. The best thing for you and your baby is for him to be fed and you to be happy. If breastmilk provides that then  great, if it needs formula then that would be equally as right

Secondly make an appointment to see a breast feeding specialist to check that everything is going okay and to chat about how you are feeling.

If you are really struggling with the actual feeds you could try expressing milk and giving that to your baby either via bottle, cup or syringe. It would be challenging as you have to express as well as give the milk to your baby but it is possible to use electric pumps that can take the milk without it being hands on. If you do this all the time your supply should still be good. A friend of mine managed to express milk feed her twins until they were 8/9 months old without supply problems. It often works better to express whilst your baby is near as his smell will stimulate your let down reflex, as will his cry. If you don't have a breast pump it is possible to hand express. This may help you: http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/breastfeeding/P...reast-milk.aspx

I hope you can find a way forward with this, just don't be hard on yourself, every breast feed Ethan has had from you so far has been fantastic for him and you have done a fantastic job especially as it is so hard for you to do. Just please make an appointment with a breast feeding advisor as soon as possible.

#4 ~A Poetic Winter~

Posted 16 October 2011 - 08:16 PM

There are a lot of people that exclusively express and give EBM. I'd look for a LC in your area to help you if thats what you'd prefer to do.

Its really hard when you know all the benefits of BFing and why its better etc but you really struggle to do it. For a lot of women its a real issue. I started to resent being the only person capable of feeding my DS and it was really affecting me mentally. I swapped to formula and we were both happier for it.

There is nothing wrong with how you feel, its a normal feeling for a lot of women.

#5 bailee

Posted 16 October 2011 - 08:20 PM

Have you heard of a condition called D-MER? Google it - I dont know much about it but a friend had it and she found she hated breastfeeding even though she new she wanted to continue. She was medicated for it and she ended up getting past it and is still breastfeeding.

If you are sure you want to continue with giving your baby milk, but want to pump you could look into taking motilium to support your supply. Some women find their supply holds up well with a regular routine, but others find their supply dwindles.

Ultimately you need to be happy. Happy mum = happy baby. Look into your different options and see what works best for you. Have you tried calling the ABA help line and discussing your feelings? They probably know more about that condition I mentioned above.

I dont know how old your LO is, but I hated breastfeeding in the beginning too. I had a lot of problems but even when they were sorted I only continued for medical reasons for bub & me. But I have just started to enjoy it now that my bub is a toddler - its just so much more relaxed and fun if you get to that stage.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

#6 lucky 2

Posted 16 October 2011 - 09:34 PM

I want to be able to bottle feed him my milk and not have to feed him from my breast. Please help! Is there a way that I can do this at all and keep my milk supply up???

If you want to feed your milk to baby in a bottle then do it!
Expressing exclusively is not uncommon (as pp mentioned).
Ideally you get yourself a double electric personal pump and use it ? about 8 times in 24 hours at this stage and see how you go?
Expressing with a double pump has been found to increase milk production, ideal when you are reliant on a pump.
Each session can take 10-20 mins, ideally expressing both breasts twice meaning you get 2 letdowns each pump session and it empties the breasts better and keeps more production.
You could also hire a Hospital Grade electric pump for a trial, use a double kit and see how you cope with expressing and bottle feeding, this way you pay out less money and experiment.
You can alway buy the personal pump at a later date.
This is how my sister fed her baby and I expressed for 15 months (when dd was a bit older). I have never regretted it.
Feeding breast milk via a bottle is the second best option for feeding a baby.
Some mothers can make heaps of milk this way, others struggle and need to supplement with some formula, you only know when you have a go.
PP may be correct in drawing your attention to D-Mer, see below, but still you may not wish to continue with direct bfing.
Expressing gives you relief from direct bfing and helps you use your milk which you have in plentiful supply and which is the best milk to give.
You may find this an acceptable answer to the difficulties you are experiencing.
Working with a LC is ideal, but you also my find an ABA cousellor could be of support and practical help.
All the best.

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