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IVF Multiple Cycles and the Long Haul BG #9

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#1 Forum Moderator

Posted 16 August 2011 - 11:43 PM

New thread time ladies.

Here is a link to your old thread.


#2 minidiamond

Posted 17 August 2011 - 09:04 AM

GOLD GOLD GOLD to Australia ....

Where is everyone & more importantly HOW is everyone ?

#3 HRH Countrymel

Posted 17 August 2011 - 11:30 AM


Hi everyone!

Edited by countrymel, 17 August 2011 - 11:31 AM.

#4 librablonde

Posted 17 August 2011 - 12:47 PM

Well hello Long Haulers original.gif

Liltuss- how's your bean going? Isn't your scan sometime very soon? Good luck xoxox
CountryMel- what have you been up to? I've been quietly stalking you every once in a while and see things are getting better for you with your Dad in a new home, etc. I really hope the rest of 2011 is kind to you after all you've been through this year.
MissMatilda- good to hear your new FS is on top of things. I've never transferred x2 embies, but if I have enough of them at my next EPU (if the current 2 frosties are BFN) then I may consider it.... I just don't know. There's so many risks, though.....
mitchp- how are you and your DP?

AFM- well, again this month I didn't ovulate (for no reason), so I saw Dr Fancyshirt yesterday and had a scan and BT and then a Pregnyl trigger and he's scheduled my FET for Friday arvo. He doesn't know why my LH isn't surging, but said everything else looked good so just to go for it. I was pretty surprised as I'd given up on an FET for this month again. So I'll see my accunpuncturist tomorrow for a session and start my very long drive on Friday morning for the FET. I'm almost ambivalent this time round, so whatever will be will be...... wink.gif

#5 minidiamond

Posted 18 August 2011 - 11:03 AM

Scan this morning showed a blighted ovum.  sad.gif

Fairly numb right now .... but I think when/if this ever happens, I will instinctively know when it's 'right'.

#6 librablonde

Posted 18 August 2011 - 11:29 AM

Oh Liltuss no no no!!! I'm so sorry, god, that just is so awful. I have no words, I just wish I could hug you right now. F*CK!!!! sad.gif

#7 librablonde

Posted 18 August 2011 - 11:42 AM

Liltuss, when the numbness wears off and the grief and rage begins: smash a heap of crockery into a wheelie bin and scream and cry and smash it bit by bit. I know someone who did this and it was a carthartic experience and helped them move through their grief. I just hope you have lots of support around you this weekend. Life is so unfair sometimes. Lots of love to you xoxo

Edited by librablonde, 18 August 2011 - 11:54 AM.

#8 ioathome

Posted 18 August 2011 - 11:53 AM

Liltuss, I am so so sorry this has happened to you.  Like the PP said - there are no words.  Just so so sorry. sad.gif

#9 minidiamond

Posted 18 August 2011 - 12:03 PM

Hah, thanks LB, I had a laugh through my watery eyes at the image of the me & the crockery - I could do that to the blue rimmed plates DH hates so much that I keep 'just in case'.

But I don't really have any anger inside me right now, just pure sadness.  I spoke to the clinic & FN thinks FS may want to do another scan in a week just to be sure.  That will be a fun wait, not.

I am not usually ones for poems or songs during these kinds of times - but I had an ABBA CD on in the car on the way from the scan (yes ABBA, double the sad factor, I know) and this song just made me weep loudly.

I've seen it on your face
Tells me more than any worn-out old phrase
So now we'll go separate ways
Never again we two
Never again, nothing I can do

Like an image passing by, my love, my life
In the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life
I can see it all so clearly
Answer me sincerely
Was it a dream, a lie?
Like reflections of your mind, my love, my life
Are the words you try to find, my love, my life
But I know I don't possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Still my one and only

#10 cheshire_cat

Posted 18 August 2011 - 12:09 PM

I'm so sorry Liltuss. So bl**dy unfair.

#11 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 18 August 2011 - 12:12 PM

I'm so sorry Liltuss.  This is such a hard road you are on.  I never thought of crockery smashing.  I used to run and run and cry and just get myself exhausted that way.

#12 ~Panda~

Posted 18 August 2011 - 12:24 PM

I'm so so sorry, Liltuss sad.gif I wish there was something more I could do or say. I'm really sad for you sad.gif

#13 Guest_senecio_*

Posted 18 August 2011 - 12:56 PM

Shedding a few quiet tears for you at my office desk, Liltuss. I am so sorry. sad.gif

#14 Brookar

Posted 18 August 2011 - 12:56 PM

Big hugs Liltuss xx

#15 librablonde

Posted 18 August 2011 - 01:08 PM

Lawd, I'm an Abba fan and that sad song was even more tragic in this context.

#16 carita

Posted 18 August 2011 - 05:44 PM

So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you.

#17 halby

Posted 18 August 2011 - 06:08 PM

Listus I am sooo sorry. It is so disapointing I know I had the same last November, and they too did another scan to be sure, but alas. I have no real words of comfort other than remember you know that you can fall pregnant, it is just getting that right one. Take care of yourself. A big abba fan too. We must be all in the late 30 early 40 bracket if we are abba fans?????

Hello to everyone else. Good luck Libra for fet

#18 minidiamond

Posted 19 August 2011 - 10:47 AM

Thanks everyone. I haven't been able to cry since yesterday morning, DH was away for work til last night and when he hugged me, I just had nothing.

I am considering asking my boss for a period of leave without pay to get myself in a better place, this process is just totally consuming every aspect of my life.

FS is suggesting waiting for natural mc and a follow up scan to rule out the "one percent" chance of misdiagnosis. The sonographer appeared very experienced so I'm not doubting her.  In terms of next steps, he's recommending CGH (PGD). 6k  ohmy.gif  to identify viable embryos through chromosomal testing.  Surely that will be our final hurrah in terms of having a child.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

#19 librablonde

Posted 19 August 2011 - 08:06 PM

Liltuss- leave from work might be a great idea. I hope you can organise it asap, and just take time to heal after this ordeal. I've been thinking of you today and hope you get lots of love and support in the coming months. xoxox

#20 First One

Posted 21 August 2011 - 12:25 PM

Liltuss, nothing I can say other than to send giant cyber hugs your way.  You know I'm still in your corner every month.

#21 librablonde

Posted 22 August 2011 - 12:40 PM

Hi all,

Liltuss- how are you holding up? I hope the universe being kind to you right now.
Halby-I'm 40 in October so yes, am certainly in the Abba age bracket happy.gif How have you been anyways?
Mitchp- How are you and your DP? It seems a lot of Long Haulers are going through tough times right now.

AFM- I had my FET on Friday and am now in my 2WW but this time around I feel strangely disconnected from it all and am not fretting and even thinking about it very much. I'm scared of being devastated again and just can't really believe a baby can happen for me. I've been spotting since the FET, so I don't know if I've lost it already. But despite my disconnect I'm also trying to be positive and bought a relaxation meditation CD and am off the coffee and fave cheeses. Just plodding along. It'll be a bummer if this one doesn't take because it was such a great quality embie. Hmmmm, I'm all over the shop in this post.... I guess we'll just see what happens again.

Hi to all our graduates and other Long Haulers bbighug.gif

Edited by librablonde, 22 August 2011 - 12:41 PM.

#22 minidiamond

Posted 22 August 2011 - 12:48 PM

Libra, congrats hun on being PUPO ! I think not thinking about it is a very good thing !!  Just focus on other stuff & the time will pass quickly, spotting is not a bad thing at all ! I really really hope this is your time. I have also bought a CD & actually enrolled in a meditation class that starts on Thursday.  I figure that stuff can only help.

Hi everyone else, and thank you again for your kind words.

Just plodding along really. I am feeling okay, physically I feel nothing & emotionally it's alright, although there are some down times.  I had some things to keep me busy on the weekend, which was good, a nice lunch with friends yesterday, but waiting to miscarry is pretty horrendous.  I'll have another BT & scan on Thursday, barring an outright miracle, I hope my HCG has started to drop so it's over sooner rather than later.  Just want to move on.

#23 Miss Matilda

Posted 22 August 2011 - 04:55 PM

Sorry everyone....I am still catching on with this forum thing & didn't realise there was a new thread. Just wondered where everyone had gone. Another blonde moment on my behalf!! 3 pages in I have just caught up on the news about you Liltuss.....I am so very sorry that this is happeneing to you. I have been thinking of you & hoping that it works out but I just want this journey to be over for all of us. Dreams can come true right???
I think it might be time to do something crazy like jump out of a plane or travel to India for a month......I am thinking of you & want you to know we are here for you.

On another note.....I got a new job. Figured that I wouldn't let this waiting thing hold up my career so I went for a new job & got it. Still buzzing from that really. I resigned on Friday & start late sept. Its more responsibility but more $$ too.....Guess I may have to wait a little bit before I try again.

Good luck Libra on your 2WW....!

Miss Matilda xxx

#24 mitchp

Posted 24 August 2011 - 12:08 PM

Hey all - well here we are again!

Liltuss - so very very sorry to hear your news  bbighug.gif

Libra - very good luck to you for this transfer - positive vibes:)

As for us - we had a blooming lovely break in Queensland last week - just what we needed. Came back to some stress as vet told us our boy doggy probably had cancer, but he had an u/s yesterday and that, along with Kidney and/or Liver disease have been ruled out, as has diabetes! So, we're very happy to have him all a-ok:)

This morning DP had AF arrive - so we are now officially back in the game for our last frozen embryo to be transferred, assuming the embryo survives the thawing out process!

Good luck to everybody currently undergoing TTC / FET and the like. Sticky vibes people, sticky vibes!

#25 librablonde

Posted 24 August 2011 - 12:12 PM

Hi there ladies,
It's CD25 for me, and I've been having 26 days cycles recently. But I'm on  Pregnyl since the FET so now I'm just drumming my fingers.....waiting.....waiting......hmmmm cramping and waiting.......bit of spotting and waiting...... ugh!!!!! I'm having another Pregnyl injection today and a final one on Saturday, I hope AF stays away for that long....

Hi to everyone- Miss Matilda- congrat's on your new job.


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