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Competitive Mums Competition
Help cheer me up with your BEST anecdotes


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#1 baddmammajamma

Posted 12 May 2011 - 07:41 PM

UPDATE: The highly competitive mum who sparked this thread has left our school for a more -- you guessed it -- competitive environment for her child. As some of you might recall, this is the mother who banned her child from having a close friendship with mine because she was worried that a child with (gasp!) ASD would drag her precious petal down. Strangely, I am feeling a bit lost without her constant bragging and comparisons. Anyone care to add some new stories?

Hi all:

I had a lousy afternoon, after an uber-competitive mother made some pointed comments about my daughter's weaknesses (given that she has ASD, she's a pretty easy target). I had been feeling good about my daughter's social & academic achievements this year, but these comments really made me feel like crappola.

However, I am now ready to laugh. So...please submit your best anecdote (one entry per person) starring THE most competitive mother you've ever encountered.

I want to see how this mum stacks up against "Australia's finest." Actually, that's too restrictive. International submissions are welcomed as well! wink.gif

Thanks,

BMJ

Edited by baddmammajamma, 07 February 2013 - 02:31 PM.


#2 BadCat

Posted 12 May 2011 - 07:52 PM

Some years back when DS was in Kindy (first year of real school) I was talking to another mum as we walked home.  She asked how DS had done on the PIPS test which is just a measure of where they are at with reading and maths at the beginning of Kindy.  She was all "my DS is so smart, he scored average in these categories and above average in this one, how did your son do?"   So I told her how DS went which was substantially better than her DS did and she said "Oh, well of course we haven't coached our DS at all, it's just natural talent".  When I pointed out that we had not coached our DS at all either (why would you?) she got all snippy and walked off in a huff.

Strange woman.   wacko.gif   As thought a kindy test to assess what reading level you're at is anything to be competetive about.

Not brilliant, but I don't really encounter a lot of competetive parents except on EB.  I look forward to the much more exciting stories of others.

#3 trdl

Posted 12 May 2011 - 08:25 PM

I know someone like this...i have defriended her because she is so competitive. I have heard some really good ones from her but here is just one

We will call this kid P and my daughter L... P is 6 months younger then L and he is in grade 2 and L is in grade 3. This happened at the end of last year when we got our notices of who our childs teachers were going to be. There was going to be a grade 1/2 class and then the 2/3/4 class. There is only 2 grade 2 kids in 2/3/4 class. The reason was purely because the grade 1/2 had a full class of kids. I asked our office Lady and thats the explanation i got.

This was the conversation from ex friend....."Oh the teachers here have finally realised that  P is so talented and gifted I have just been told that he will be in L's class (my dd)  next year (L is in grade 3, P is in grade 2.) They are making a 2/3/4 grade. Hes going to be going up a grade.  My response " Oh ok well that doesnt mean he is skipping a grade the class will still be a 2/3/4 so hes not actually skipping to grade 3 just still a grade 2 kid in a grade 2/3/4 class. Her reply was "oh, no i think they will be teaching him grade 3 stuff and maybe even start him doing some grade 4 work later on in the year". Soon he will be reading higher then L.

I must have had a puzzled look on my face when i thought "OM*G are you serious, you crackpot"

Hes a kid that does well and gets B's, hes above average but wouldnt think he would be anything gifted. I know for a fact that she has made him do homework type things every night even before he started schol. but his behviour is the thing that lets him down. He is arrogant like both his parents and they think hes an angel. I have seen him at school and the way he speaks to teachers. If he was my kid he wouldnt know what hit him.

Sorry this is now turning into a rant..FFS this woman really irritates me..>ok next person grin.gif

#4 Guest_kalita_*

Posted 12 May 2011 - 10:52 PM

Not a competitive mother but FIL is like this, and likes to compare his two grandkids that are 3 months apart in age. It makes me so angry, of course they are going to do different things. They are different ages, different genders, have different parents and are different people. Grr.

#5 JJ

Posted 12 May 2011 - 11:01 PM

QUOTE (kalita @ 12/05/2011, 10:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not a competitive mother but FIL is like this, and likes to compare his two grandkids that are 3 months apart in age. It makes me so angry, of course they are going to do different things. They are different ages, different genders, have different parents and are different people. Grr.


My ex-MIL was like that too (probably still is... haven't talked to her in a while tongue.gif). She would always compare our kids to some other random kids and when DS was a baby, she got herself into a state because there was a baby at some group she attended who could clap!!! ZOMG! And DS couldn't! He was letting her down so badly! blink.gif

Edited by JJ, 12 May 2011 - 11:02 PM.


#6 Bigfatbum

Posted 12 May 2011 - 11:05 PM

My first year of taking Josh to soccer I met "the mums" and i learnt about 5 year plans for becoming a soccer superstar, because he was so talented. They were 5.
I decided to sit on the sidelines and knit during practice.

#7 jayskette

Posted 12 May 2011 - 11:13 PM

It helps to have a mum that never boasts about her family's achievements, living next to 2 mums that are so superficially competitive (with kids the same ages as we were). All through school all we hear are how their families are going to their next holiday to Europe, the new BMWs, the posh private school the kids go to, and when the kids turned 16 how the mums have to reluntantly give their old BMWs to them to put their L plates on. One Christmas those 2 mums decided to have a street party and amazingly invited us. My sister and I had to turn them down, as we were both headed off to work (I was studying pharmacy and sister just started Arts/Law), wow their shocked faces were priceless. Turned out 2 of their kids didn't get a high enough score to get into uni, and another one did drugs and went off the rails...

#8 JennyH

Posted 13 May 2011 - 01:55 AM

A friend of mine is the most competitive I know.... She is very career focussed, and having a baby wasn't really her idea, but she agreed and her DH is the primary caretaker, and the nanny... She made me laugh out loud when she told me how she'd set a program up for the nanny to follow, to ensure "B" got the right environment.  Told me proudly how nanny takes B to zoo and museums to ensure B is soaking up information all the time.  Nanny tells her (or DH who is home first) what B particularly liked today at these outings etc.  All fine, except B was less than six months old at this time!!  

Also, told me at great length the measures she took to breastfeed and how she expressed in advanced of her many (very important) work trips and left frozen EBM for baby B to ensure B was never "tainted" by anything else.  Fine, I think, hats off to her, I am a bit of a breastfeeding advocate etc.  But then had to scoff when friend said it was important to her to keep B breastfeeding, as research shows breastfed babies have higher IQ...naively I had thought it helped her bond with baby when she spent long hours at work, or long trips away, but no - she said B often has the bottle of EBM with her DH while she expresses in the other room?!  

I just laugh at it, and thank my lucky stars we live very, very far apart.

JennyH

#9 la di dah

Posted 13 May 2011 - 01:58 AM

QUOTE (JennyH @ 13/05/2011, 01:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But then had to scoff when friend said it was important to her to keep B breastfeeding, as research shows breastfed babies have higher IQ...naively I had thought it helped her bond with baby when she spent long hours at work, or long trips away, but no - she said B often has the bottle of EBM with her DH while she expresses in the other room?!


I could totally see doing that myself. ninja.gif

I'll show myself out.

#10 AppleCake

Posted 13 May 2011 - 02:07 AM

My favourite-the mother in hospital... comparing APGAR score!!!

#11 marnie27

Posted 13 May 2011 - 02:11 AM

I haven't really had much to do with the competitive mum club yet - but I don't do mothers group, playgroups or anything like that, and DS hasn't started school yet.

In my circle, it's a little bit anti-competitive mums.  We've agreed with our friends that our boys should go to school together, DS will do their son's homework in return for being protected in the playground.  Both our kids are gorgeous, but have very different strength at the moment.   laughing2.gif

BMJ - you might enjoy this website? (Although warning, the current first post is a bit disturbing!)

#12 CharleyBear

Posted 13 May 2011 - 08:31 AM

I think this mum wins hands down:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13...WAXES-legs.html


there again I am not sure she deserves the right to be called a mother. Who the heck would put a beautiful little child's skin through that?

#13 Unatheowl

Posted 13 May 2011 - 08:40 AM

A friend of mine has this problem.  When our Ds's were about 3 months old I mentioned that my DS had begun to roll in his cot at night.  She said "oh well, I dont mind if ___ is not rolling yet because he's so verbally advanced"


...at 3 months old???

#14 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 13 May 2011 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (marnie27 @ 13/05/2011, 02:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I haven't really had much to do with the competitive mum club yet - but I don't do mothers group, playgroups or anything like that, and DS hasn't started school yet.

We do playgroups, and soccer and preschool but I haven't encountered many competitive mums. I don't think just talking about what their child has achieved necessarily makes it a competition. Sometimes it's just them being socially inept and trying to start a conversation about their kid so you can join in and talk about your kid (although I'm sure there are some that do it deliberately)

I'm not really competitive, it helps though that my DD1 is a bit smarter than the other kids we know that are the same age. I'm certainly not going to be bragging about it. The other mums are entitled to celebrate their child's successes without me going saying 'yeah, well E did that when she was 2.5' and so on. If I have something I want to brag about I tell my mum and we both cluck over how clever/gorgeous etc my kids are.

The other mums will no doubt be reassured that their child is better than mine at some things if they ever see a soccer game. laughing2.gif My DD1 is one of the cloud watchers. Plenty of the kids who are only just learning to write their name or count to 10 have well and truly got the idea of chasing the ball and putting it in the goals.

#15 PigNewton

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:04 AM

Removed story as don't want to get in trouble.

Edited by redkris, 13 May 2011 - 11:00 AM.


#16 Bel Rowley

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:11 AM

I've got to say none of the mums I meet IRL are as competitive as those on EB! Whenever I see a "Do you think my kid is advanced/gifted?" thread in 24-36 months it seems like all the respondents have 2 year olds who can read, write, count to 100 and do complex puzzles and think these things are perfectly average, while some of the 2 year olds I see at playgroup like to eat glue sticks and can barely say an intelligible word let alone write one.

#17 ssss

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:17 AM

I love the "the paed said my child was gifted at their six week check up"

for real?

#18 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:20 AM

QUOTE (Blondiebear @ 13/05/2011, 09:11 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've got to say none of the mums I meet IRL are as competitive as those on EB! Whenever I see a "Do you think my kid is advanced/gifted?" thread in 24-36 months it seems like all the respondents have 2 year olds who can read, write, count to 100 and do complex puzzles and think these things are perfectly average, while some of the 2 year olds I see at playgroup like to eat glue sticks and can barely say an intelligible word let alone write one.

I must admit that I've often thought the same thing. It is always hilarous though when someone comes in and asks whether their child is gifted for doing bog standard, age appropriate things.

My nearly 2 year old isn't much of a talker. I get loads of pitying comments because only we understand her when she's talking. It makes me chuckle to myself when people make out that we have one smart kid and one dumb one. She's not even 2 of course she's not as good verbally as her 4.5yr old sister rolleyes.gif

#19 MumOfNAC

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:24 AM

We moved into regional Vic when DS was almost 1 and joined a Mums' group.  When some of the kids started to use the toilet later in the year it was very clear that my son was of a lesser intellect; he didn't know where his bum was or what it was for  rolleyes.gif.   Toileting achievements were discussed with great pride.  One mother was adamant that toilet training was a major milestone that had a direct relationship with when a child would start reading!  I think I may have alienated myself a little when I laughed out loud at this.

It was around this time that I stopped mixing with this particular group of women...

#20 Frau Farbissina

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:29 AM

I think so far I'm lucky enough not to have encountered any competitiveness like that (that I can remember, anyway). I'm sure it'll happen eventually.

#21 Feral Lemur

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:33 AM

QUOTE (MumOfNAC @ 13/05/2011, 09:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Toileting achievements were discussed with great pride.  One mother was adamant that toilet training was a major milestone that had a direct relationship with when a child would start reading!  I think I may have alienated myself a little when I laughed out loud at this.


That is pure gold.

The competition around here is more about how laid back and non competitive you can be (while secretly being as competitive as hell).



#22 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:37 AM

Hey BMJ, you never said what happened yesterday?  

If you were a proper competitive mum you would have turned the opportunity into being able to smash the other person for her child not being as bright as your DD.

Maybe you should enrol her in Netball so you can brush up on your b**ching skills. I'm told that's where the action is and it sounds like they need a LOT of work! laughing2.gif

Netball mums are a scary, scary bunch. Us soccer mum's aren't a patch on them wink.gif

#23 BaldBalls

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:44 AM

My SIL informed me that her 3 month old could blow his own nose. The background was my son had a cold her son had a cold my son is 5 months older than hers - She would hold the tissue up to her sons nose and say 'Come on darling blow your nose' - Any noise would mean he had freeeeed his snot monsters and there for her baby was far more advanced than mine.  She would than try this same thing on my son and of course he had no idea what she was on about (my son and hers wink.gif )

It took a lot of self control not to roll around on the floor in a fit of laughter.

#24 NineFeralYears

Posted 13 May 2011 - 09:52 AM

I have an aquaintance who put double sided tape on her infant daughter's thumb and forefinger in an attempt to encourage an early pincer grip.



#25 barrington

Posted 13 May 2011 - 10:00 AM

The wife of one of DH's friends has two children, both born within a week of my youngest two.  Whenever we would get together, she would always compare her oldest child with DS (2 years older), even though DD1 was one week younger than her child.

But then she also wouldn't let her child at 18 mths put the blocks into the shape container until the child stated their colour and shape first.




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