Jump to content

Surviving Suicide: Nut's story


  • Please log in to reply
84 replies to this topic

#51 RachH

Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:05 AM

Nic, I know what a hole in your life and your families lives Lothar left when he took his own life. My heart breaks for you all and I wish I could take away your pain. I know how much you and your family miss him. Thank you for sharing your story, if it helps one person or inspires them to either get help or help a loved one, your job is done! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

#52 CandZ

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:09 AM

sad.gif  That was painfully sad.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother  sad.gif



#53 LittleRB

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:19 AM

My sister committed suicide 10 years ago this October. She was 20.

Nut - what a painfully moving and honest account of your brother's tragic death. There are so many things I can relate to in this story, the what ifs, the subtle signs you missed, the time you should have spoken up but didn't want to offend, the regret and most of all, the heartbreak that never goes away.

I hope and pray that your dear brother is at peace.

#54 bubbanme

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:29 AM

Nic, thank you so much for sharing your story. It truly makes you realise how important it is to always hold your loved ones close.

To both you and Ev, i'm so sorry for the loss of your brother & son. Sending you strength & love.

#55 Cluckster

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:48 AM

Hi Nut. I'm sorry beyond words that you and your family have suffered such a loss.
Take care.

Tam xxx

#56 Tammy Swanson

Posted 08 April 2011 - 03:33 PM

I am so sorry for your families loss but thank you for telling us his story, as I feel it is an important one for everyone out there.

#57 *Steffi*

Posted 08 April 2011 - 04:00 PM

I can't thank you enough for writing about your brother. I am suffering from depressions myself, and it means so much for me to feel that other people get more aware about this desease. There is still so much stigma in society about having depressions. I am so glad for you to find his message on the mirror, I get goosbumps just writing this. I am not sure if you ever question this but be assured he loved you dearly and that he took his own life had nothing to do with not loving his family deeply but everything with being in a dark and lonely place and not knowing how to take those feelings any longer. Everything just seams so hopeless in those dark moments, so unbearable.
I like to thank you for pointing out the photo issue. I myself refuse to get my photo taken very often because I don't like the way I look. But having read your words changed my thoughts and I will make sure in the future to leave lots of memories behind for my daughter and husband and anybody else who loves me.
If you feel you want to make sense out of your loss and honour your brothers life (not that you could ever malke sense of a suicide, I know) , then please spread your message. There are so many of us out there with depressions who need more acceptance in society and yes, even their own families and friends. It could make all the difference.
Sending you lots of love, Stefanie

Edited by *Steffi*, 08 April 2011 - 04:08 PM.


#58 zara-b

Posted 08 April 2011 - 08:08 PM

Thank you so much for sharing your story Nic, and I'm so very sorry for your terrible loss.

I lost my sister three years ago after she took her life while under the influence of a powerful sleep medication. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to each of the members of our family, and something that we have to live with every day, so I can understand how devastated you must be by the loss of your brother.

I am sure your story will help others.

RIP Lothar.


#59 lilsunniegirl

Posted 09 April 2011 - 08:56 AM

Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us.. it's so terribly sad but so beautifully articulated.. im sorry if that is not the right word.. its the only word that stood out.. the love you have, the pain youve all suffered, the awareness and change that you have influenced in my life, that is a part of yours.. your story so honest and moving.. im so sorry for the loss of your brother, your parents son.. there are no words.. but thank you to you.. on so many levels.. you are an inspriration.

Lothar, rest in peace.

#60 3cubs

Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:40 AM

Thanks for sharing your story. Once again Im sorry for your loss and your family's loss. RIP Lothar. What may have taken your brother days only of planning takes years and years of mental processing. Im so glad your sister found the Sorry written on the mirror. You can only know without any doubt he didnt want to cause you pain he was obviously sick of his own suffering that he didnt want to carry the burden any longer. Getting help for mental health problems is still daunting for some and as soon as all the stigmas associated with suffering from conditions such as depression are gone people will avoid getting help and as a result all of us lose out because we lose life and the significant contributions these often deep feeling and intelligent beings may have made.
Take care Nic

#61 Nut

Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:55 AM

I think that is part of the problem. People can admit to having liver disease or blood pressure problems. It's not unacceptable to have cancer or or parkinsons. But depression is misunderstood. So many do not seek help and so many do not understand that it is a disease, not just a state of mind that people can snap out of. An invisible cancer that grows and left untreated may well kill you.



#62 mumto4monkeys

Posted 10 April 2011 - 09:22 AM

Nut and *Ev, thank you for sharing your story.

My thoughts are with you.

It is such a sad and important story.  

Well done for writing it Nut, it would have been hard to do it, but I am sure that there will be many who will benefit. thank you

#63 TardisAngels

Posted 10 April 2011 - 10:19 AM

Thank you for sharing your story Nut and *Ev. I cannot imagine what you and your family went through and go through but I hope that sharing the story of Lothar helped the healing just a little bit.

#64 LeeBee8

Posted 10 April 2011 - 01:03 PM

Nut, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. It is so tragic when somebody takes thier own life. You wrote your story so beautifully. And I truly hope hope your message hits home with everyone. I for one will be trying very hard NOT to forget to take those photos. Because they are precious memories.


#65 jellybeanz

Posted 11 April 2011 - 03:50 PM

Nut, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear brother. May he be at peace now. Thank you for sharing your story.

#66 SportySpice

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:27 PM

Thank you for your story and strength and love to you and your family in a very difficult time.

I was 25 when I found my husband who had suicided (he was 36).  I'm now (nearly 45) and with time it does get better, but there needs to be more awareness about this and of course our mental health issues.

20 years ago - like miscarriage as a topic - it's all "taboo".... there are more suicides than there are road fatalities in more years than not, and unfortunately it's the "survivors" that pick up the devasting pieces.

With the events that took place in my life 20 years ago, they have certainly shaped and in some areas, changed my outlook on life, and yes my house is literally FILLED with photographs of family, friends and loved ones.



#67 **Xena**

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:43 PM

Oh Nut I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your dear brother was unknowingly in such a bad place that he saw suicide as his only option out.

My love to you and your family hhugs.gif

ETA: SportySpice my heart goes out to you too hhugs.gif

Edited by **Xena**, 13 April 2011 - 01:44 PM.


#68 Rumour has it..

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:59 PM

So sorry for your loss Nut!
Love and hugs to you & your family!  hhugs.gif

xxEm

#69 threeamigos

Posted 14 April 2011 - 05:22 AM

I cried reading your story about your beautiful brother. I have suffered depression and the symptons of withrawal from family events etc.., having no joy in life anymore, no energy, your spirit of living has been really beaten down, unbearable loneliness and hopelessness are so real. I am okay now, i happen to come accross a fantastic counsellor when i was 36yrs old,(i am 43yrs old now) i am on no medication as he doesnt feel i need it, i continually see him to this day to keep on top of my depression, its just so wonderful to have someone like my counsellor that i can off load too (that isnt family or friends) that you can just be you, warts, thoughts and all, and coming out of a session feeling on top of the world. The signs your brother showed is what i felt and you are right when you said you could of caught up with him more for coffee etc because thats what i would of wanted more of when i was going through my stuff but unfortunately i didnt know how to ask for my time and attention from family or friends? Also the bit about your brother was so generous, giving, kind and loving (thats how i was) our hearts sometimes are to big and thats not always a good thing because we always feel empty inside, we may have all the great family and friends around us, no financial problems, great job, great life etc...but inside of us we are empty and what i learnt is that i had to fill the inside up in myself. Slowly i learnt to put myself first (before that i was putting everyone else first and forgetting about me) there were lots of things i had to re learn and finally i pulled myself out of this black hole but as i said i continually see my counsellor every few months to keep on top of it,Its a life long battle.

#70 mumto4boys

Posted 16 April 2011 - 02:15 PM

Oh Nut, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother.

I know that your story will help many people though. Thank you for sharing.



#71 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 April 2011 - 12:06 PM

Thanks for sharing, sorry for your loss sad.gif Your story has made me realise I don't have enough family photos.

#72 AJ#99

Posted 22 April 2011 - 01:48 PM

I am sorry for you/your family's loss.  Thanks for sharing such an important issue.  I've also battled depression (mostly in silence) and I too lost a brother (just over 3 years ago now) to suicide.

bbighug.gif

#73 Judydoll

Posted 22 April 2011 - 05:16 PM

I am sorry for your family's loss Nut.   Thank goodness you were/are a close family and you have such wonderful memories.  To all others who have posted that are suffering from depression and/or have lost a loved one my heart also goes out to you.  Take care.

#74 Nanns

Posted 22 April 2011 - 07:04 PM

Thank you for sharing.

Depression is a horrible beast and I am so sorry for your loss.




#75 andieinvic

Posted 25 April 2011 - 03:52 PM

Very sorry for the loss of your brother Nut, so sad that you and your family have to bear this loss.  Thank you for sharing, it's a big flag for us all.




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

Great-great-grandma delivers great grandchild in her own home

''I've delivered calves, lambs, dogs and cats, but nothing like this.'' This 'Super Gran' calmly peeled the amniotic sac over her great-grandson's head before discovering the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck ... twice.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

Microcephaly still a mysterious condition around the world

For parents, having a child with microcephaly can mean a life of uncertainty.

7 baby firsts you won't see on milestone charts

Here are a few 'other' baby firsts you may not have been expecting, but you'll want to be ready for.

Why it's important to vaccinate on time

My son was born on the 1 July 2014. It's a fabulous birthday, don't you think? Not only does the first of July ring in a new financial year, but it also means we've hit the year's half way mark.

Naturopath treatment allegedly left baby "days from death"

A naturopath whose treatment of a baby boy allegedly led to the infant being severely ill has pleaded not guilty to charges against her. 

Andy Murray's emotional speech to pregnant wife after Australian Open

A teary-eyed Andy Murray promised pregnant wife Kim he'd be on the next plane home after his turbulent two weeks at the Australian Open came to an end.

This toddler and his duck BFF will melt your heart

A small boy in the US has struck up a quacking good friendship with an unlikely companion ... his pet duck. 

Great news for coffee drinkers - caffeine is good for your heart

Researchers have found that, contrary to prior belief, caffeine does not cause health-threatening heart palpitations.

I always wanted children - but I've found other ways to be maternal

I've always been one of the most maternal women I know.

When only one parent wants to know the gender

For some couples you either both want to know the gender of your unborn baby, or you don't. For others, it's not that simple.

'No jab no play' could hurt disadvantaged children, experts fear

Tough new "no jab no play" laws could hurt children who have not been immunised due to family dysfunction, poverty, or poor access to medical support, experts warn.

Zika virus: Airlines offer refunds to pregnant women

Airlines and cruise companies across the world are offering refunds or travel credits to pregnant women who are scheduled to visit countries struck by the devastating Zika virus.

#meditateonthis: Mums fight back against PND ignorance

Not all women will require medication, but many will. And there isn't and shouldn't be any shame in that.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

Free first aid demonstrations daily

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.