Jump to content
Surviving Suicide: Nut's story
83 replies to this topic
Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:05 AM
Nic, I know what a hole in your life and your families lives Lothar left when he took his own life. My heart breaks for you all and I wish I could take away your pain. I know how much you and your family miss him. Thank you for sharing your story, if it helps one person or inspires them to either get help or help a loved one, your job is done! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:09 AM
That was painfully sad. I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother
Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:19 AM
My sister committed suicide 10 years ago this October. She was 20.
Nut - what a painfully moving and honest account of your brother's tragic death. There are so many things I can relate to in this story, the what ifs, the subtle signs you missed, the time you should have spoken up but didn't want to offend, the regret and most of all, the heartbreak that never goes away.
I hope and pray that your dear brother is at peace.
Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:29 AM
Nic, thank you so much for sharing your story. It truly makes you realise how important it is to always hold your loved ones close.
To both you and Ev, i'm so sorry for the loss of your brother & son. Sending you strength & love.
Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:48 AM
Hi Nut. I'm sorry beyond words that you and your family have suffered such a loss.
Posted 08 April 2011 - 03:33 PM
I am so sorry for your families loss but thank you for telling us his story, as I feel it is an important one for everyone out there.
Posted 08 April 2011 - 04:00 PM
I can't thank you enough for writing about your brother. I am suffering from depressions myself, and it means so much for me to feel that other people get more aware about this desease. There is still so much stigma in society about having depressions. I am so glad for you to find his message on the mirror, I get goosbumps just writing this. I am not sure if you ever question this but be assured he loved you dearly and that he took his own life had nothing to do with not loving his family deeply but everything with being in a dark and lonely place and not knowing how to take those feelings any longer. Everything just seams so hopeless in those dark moments, so unbearable.
I like to thank you for pointing out the photo issue. I myself refuse to get my photo taken very often because I don't like the way I look. But having read your words changed my thoughts and I will make sure in the future to leave lots of memories behind for my daughter and husband and anybody else who loves me.
If you feel you want to make sense out of your loss and honour your brothers life (not that you could ever malke sense of a suicide, I know) , then please spread your message. There are so many of us out there with depressions who need more acceptance in society and yes, even their own families and friends. It could make all the difference.
Sending you lots of love, Stefanie
Edited by *Steffi*, 08 April 2011 - 04:08 PM.
Posted 08 April 2011 - 08:08 PM
Thank you so much for sharing your story Nic, and I'm so very sorry for your terrible loss.
I lost my sister three years ago after she took her life while under the influence of a powerful sleep medication. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to each of the members of our family, and something that we have to live with every day, so I can understand how devastated you must be by the loss of your brother.
I am sure your story will help others.
Posted 09 April 2011 - 08:56 AM
Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us.. it's so terribly sad but so beautifully articulated.. im sorry if that is not the right word.. its the only word that stood out.. the love you have, the pain youve all suffered, the awareness and change that you have influenced in my life, that is a part of yours.. your story so honest and moving.. im so sorry for the loss of your brother, your parents son.. there are no words.. but thank you to you.. on so many levels.. you are an inspriration.
Lothar, rest in peace.
Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:40 AM
Thanks for sharing your story. Once again Im sorry for your loss and your family's loss. RIP Lothar. What may have taken your brother days only of planning takes years and years of mental processing. Im so glad your sister found the Sorry written on the mirror. You can only know without any doubt he didnt want to cause you pain he was obviously sick of his own suffering that he didnt want to carry the burden any longer. Getting help for mental health problems is still daunting for some and as soon as all the stigmas associated with suffering from conditions such as depression are gone people will avoid getting help and as a result all of us lose out because we lose life and the significant contributions these often deep feeling and intelligent beings may have made.
Take care Nic
Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:55 AM
I think that is part of the problem. People can admit to having liver disease or blood pressure problems. It's not unacceptable to have cancer or or parkinsons. But depression is misunderstood. So many do not seek help and so many do not understand that it is a disease, not just a state of mind that people can snap out of. An invisible cancer that grows and left untreated may well kill you.
Posted 10 April 2011 - 09:22 AM
Nut and *Ev, thank you for sharing your story.
My thoughts are with you.
It is such a sad and important story.
Well done for writing it Nut, it would have been hard to do it, but I am sure that there will be many who will benefit. thank you
Posted 10 April 2011 - 10:19 AM
Thank you for sharing your story Nut and *Ev. I cannot imagine what you and your family went through and go through but I hope that sharing the story of Lothar helped the healing just a little bit.
Posted 10 April 2011 - 01:03 PM
Nut, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. It is so tragic when somebody takes thier own life. You wrote your story so beautifully. And I truly hope hope your message hits home with everyone. I for one will be trying very hard NOT to forget to take those photos. Because they are precious memories.
Posted 11 April 2011 - 03:50 PM
Nut, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear brother. May he be at peace now. Thank you for sharing your story.
Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:27 PM
Thank you for your story and strength and love to you and your family in a very difficult time.
I was 25 when I found my husband who had suicided (he was 36). I'm now (nearly 45) and with time it does get better, but there needs to be more awareness about this and of course our mental health issues.
20 years ago - like miscarriage as a topic - it's all "taboo".... there are more suicides than there are road fatalities in more years than not, and unfortunately it's the "survivors" that pick up the devasting pieces.
With the events that took place in my life 20 years ago, they have certainly shaped and in some areas, changed my outlook on life, and yes my house is literally FILLED with photographs of family, friends and loved ones.
Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:43 PM
Oh Nut I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your dear brother was unknowingly in such a bad place that he saw suicide as his only option out.
My love to you and your family
ETA: SportySpice my heart goes out to you too
Edited by **Xena**, 13 April 2011 - 01:44 PM.
Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:59 PM
So sorry for your loss Nut!
Love and hugs to you & your family!
Posted 14 April 2011 - 05:22 AM
I cried reading your story about your beautiful brother. I have suffered depression and the symptons of withrawal from family events etc.., having no joy in life anymore, no energy, your spirit of living has been really beaten down, unbearable loneliness and hopelessness are so real. I am okay now, i happen to come accross a fantastic counsellor when i was 36yrs old,(i am 43yrs old now) i am on no medication as he doesnt feel i need it, i continually see him to this day to keep on top of my depression, its just so wonderful to have someone like my counsellor that i can off load too (that isnt family or friends) that you can just be you, warts, thoughts and all, and coming out of a session feeling on top of the world. The signs your brother showed is what i felt and you are right when you said you could of caught up with him more for coffee etc because thats what i would of wanted more of when i was going through my stuff but unfortunately i didnt know how to ask for my time and attention from family or friends? Also the bit about your brother was so generous, giving, kind and loving (thats how i was) our hearts sometimes are to big and thats not always a good thing because we always feel empty inside, we may have all the great family and friends around us, no financial problems, great job, great life etc...but inside of us we are empty and what i learnt is that i had to fill the inside up in myself. Slowly i learnt to put myself first (before that i was putting everyone else first and forgetting about me) there were lots of things i had to re learn and finally i pulled myself out of this black hole but as i said i continually see my counsellor every few months to keep on top of it,Its a life long battle.
Posted 16 April 2011 - 02:15 PM
Oh Nut, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother.
I know that your story will help many people though. Thank you for sharing.
Posted 19 April 2011 - 12:06 PM
Thanks for sharing, sorry for your loss Your story has made me realise I don't have enough family photos.
Posted 22 April 2011 - 01:48 PM
I am sorry for you/your family's loss. Thanks for sharing such an important issue. I've also battled depression (mostly in silence) and I too lost a brother (just over 3 years ago now) to suicide.
Posted 22 April 2011 - 05:16 PM
I am sorry for your family's loss Nut. Thank goodness you were/are a close family and you have such wonderful memories. To all others who have posted that are suffering from depression and/or have lost a loved one my heart also goes out to you. Take care.
Posted 22 April 2011 - 07:04 PM
Thank you for sharing.
Depression is a horrible beast and I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted 25 April 2011 - 03:52 PM
Very sorry for the loss of your brother Nut, so sad that you and your family have to bear this loss. Thank you for sharing, it's a big flag for us all.
2 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users
A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.
A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.
Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.
It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.
If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.
When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.
Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?
Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.
New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.
Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.
When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.
A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.
Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.
Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.
If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.
Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.
In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
Top 5 Articles
Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.
I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.
A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.
Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?
For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.
'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.
There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.
The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.
Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.
Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.
Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.
Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby for just the month of April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.