Jump to content

Surviving Suicide: Nut's story


  • Please log in to reply
84 replies to this topic

#51 Maple Leaf

Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:02 AM

Workplace bullies have a lot to answer for. My husband was nearly pushed over the edge by one (coincidentally, he is also in IT). I hope your story can help others Nut. Thank you for sharing. RIP Lothar.

#52 RachH

Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:05 AM

Nic, I know what a hole in your life and your families lives Lothar left when he took his own life. My heart breaks for you all and I wish I could take away your pain. I know how much you and your family miss him. Thank you for sharing your story, if it helps one person or inspires them to either get help or help a loved one, your job is done! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

#53 CandZ

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:09 AM

sad.gif  That was painfully sad.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother  sad.gif



#54 LittleRB

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:19 AM

My sister committed suicide 10 years ago this October. She was 20.

Nut - what a painfully moving and honest account of your brother's tragic death. There are so many things I can relate to in this story, the what ifs, the subtle signs you missed, the time you should have spoken up but didn't want to offend, the regret and most of all, the heartbreak that never goes away.

I hope and pray that your dear brother is at peace.

#55 bubbanme

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:29 AM

Nic, thank you so much for sharing your story. It truly makes you realise how important it is to always hold your loved ones close.

To both you and Ev, i'm so sorry for the loss of your brother & son. Sending you strength & love.

#56 Cluckster

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:48 AM

Hi Nut. I'm sorry beyond words that you and your family have suffered such a loss.
Take care.

Tam xxx

#57 Tammy Swanson

Posted 08 April 2011 - 03:33 PM

I am so sorry for your families loss but thank you for telling us his story, as I feel it is an important one for everyone out there.

#58 *Steffi*

Posted 08 April 2011 - 04:00 PM

I can't thank you enough for writing about your brother. I am suffering from depressions myself, and it means so much for me to feel that other people get more aware about this desease. There is still so much stigma in society about having depressions. I am so glad for you to find his message on the mirror, I get goosbumps just writing this. I am not sure if you ever question this but be assured he loved you dearly and that he took his own life had nothing to do with not loving his family deeply but everything with being in a dark and lonely place and not knowing how to take those feelings any longer. Everything just seams so hopeless in those dark moments, so unbearable.
I like to thank you for pointing out the photo issue. I myself refuse to get my photo taken very often because I don't like the way I look. But having read your words changed my thoughts and I will make sure in the future to leave lots of memories behind for my daughter and husband and anybody else who loves me.
If you feel you want to make sense out of your loss and honour your brothers life (not that you could ever malke sense of a suicide, I know) , then please spread your message. There are so many of us out there with depressions who need more acceptance in society and yes, even their own families and friends. It could make all the difference.
Sending you lots of love, Stefanie

Edited by *Steffi*, 08 April 2011 - 04:08 PM.


#59 zara-b

Posted 08 April 2011 - 08:08 PM

Thank you so much for sharing your story Nic, and I'm so very sorry for your terrible loss.

I lost my sister three years ago after she took her life while under the influence of a powerful sleep medication. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to each of the members of our family, and something that we have to live with every day, so I can understand how devastated you must be by the loss of your brother.

I am sure your story will help others.

RIP Lothar.


#60 lilsunniegirl

Posted 09 April 2011 - 08:56 AM

Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us.. it's so terribly sad but so beautifully articulated.. im sorry if that is not the right word.. its the only word that stood out.. the love you have, the pain youve all suffered, the awareness and change that you have influenced in my life, that is a part of yours.. your story so honest and moving.. im so sorry for the loss of your brother, your parents son.. there are no words.. but thank you to you.. on so many levels.. you are an inspriration.

Lothar, rest in peace.

#61 3cubs

Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:40 AM

Thanks for sharing your story. Once again Im sorry for your loss and your family's loss. RIP Lothar. What may have taken your brother days only of planning takes years and years of mental processing. Im so glad your sister found the Sorry written on the mirror. You can only know without any doubt he didnt want to cause you pain he was obviously sick of his own suffering that he didnt want to carry the burden any longer. Getting help for mental health problems is still daunting for some and as soon as all the stigmas associated with suffering from conditions such as depression are gone people will avoid getting help and as a result all of us lose out because we lose life and the significant contributions these often deep feeling and intelligent beings may have made.
Take care Nic

#62 Nut

Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:55 AM

I think that is part of the problem. People can admit to having liver disease or blood pressure problems. It's not unacceptable to have cancer or or parkinsons. But depression is misunderstood. So many do not seek help and so many do not understand that it is a disease, not just a state of mind that people can snap out of. An invisible cancer that grows and left untreated may well kill you.



#63 mumto4monkeys

Posted 10 April 2011 - 09:22 AM

Nut and *Ev, thank you for sharing your story.

My thoughts are with you.

It is such a sad and important story.  

Well done for writing it Nut, it would have been hard to do it, but I am sure that there will be many who will benefit. thank you

#64 TardisAngels

Posted 10 April 2011 - 10:19 AM

Thank you for sharing your story Nut and *Ev. I cannot imagine what you and your family went through and go through but I hope that sharing the story of Lothar helped the healing just a little bit.

#65 LeeBee8

Posted 10 April 2011 - 01:03 PM

Nut, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. It is so tragic when somebody takes thier own life. You wrote your story so beautifully. And I truly hope hope your message hits home with everyone. I for one will be trying very hard NOT to forget to take those photos. Because they are precious memories.


#66 jellybeanz

Posted 11 April 2011 - 03:50 PM

Nut, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear brother. May he be at peace now. Thank you for sharing your story.

#67 SportySpice

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:27 PM

Thank you for your story and strength and love to you and your family in a very difficult time.

I was 25 when I found my husband who had suicided (he was 36).  I'm now (nearly 45) and with time it does get better, but there needs to be more awareness about this and of course our mental health issues.

20 years ago - like miscarriage as a topic - it's all "taboo".... there are more suicides than there are road fatalities in more years than not, and unfortunately it's the "survivors" that pick up the devasting pieces.

With the events that took place in my life 20 years ago, they have certainly shaped and in some areas, changed my outlook on life, and yes my house is literally FILLED with photographs of family, friends and loved ones.



#68 **Xena**

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:43 PM

Oh Nut I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your dear brother was unknowingly in such a bad place that he saw suicide as his only option out.

My love to you and your family hhugs.gif

ETA: SportySpice my heart goes out to you too hhugs.gif

Edited by **Xena**, 13 April 2011 - 01:44 PM.


#69 Rumour has it..

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:59 PM

So sorry for your loss Nut!
Love and hugs to you & your family!  hhugs.gif

xxEm

#70 threeamigos

Posted 14 April 2011 - 05:22 AM

I cried reading your story about your beautiful brother. I have suffered depression and the symptons of withrawal from family events etc.., having no joy in life anymore, no energy, your spirit of living has been really beaten down, unbearable loneliness and hopelessness are so real. I am okay now, i happen to come accross a fantastic counsellor when i was 36yrs old,(i am 43yrs old now) i am on no medication as he doesnt feel i need it, i continually see him to this day to keep on top of my depression, its just so wonderful to have someone like my counsellor that i can off load too (that isnt family or friends) that you can just be you, warts, thoughts and all, and coming out of a session feeling on top of the world. The signs your brother showed is what i felt and you are right when you said you could of caught up with him more for coffee etc because thats what i would of wanted more of when i was going through my stuff but unfortunately i didnt know how to ask for my time and attention from family or friends? Also the bit about your brother was so generous, giving, kind and loving (thats how i was) our hearts sometimes are to big and thats not always a good thing because we always feel empty inside, we may have all the great family and friends around us, no financial problems, great job, great life etc...but inside of us we are empty and what i learnt is that i had to fill the inside up in myself. Slowly i learnt to put myself first (before that i was putting everyone else first and forgetting about me) there were lots of things i had to re learn and finally i pulled myself out of this black hole but as i said i continually see my counsellor every few months to keep on top of it,Its a life long battle.

#71 mumto4boys

Posted 16 April 2011 - 02:15 PM

Oh Nut, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother.

I know that your story will help many people though. Thank you for sharing.



#72 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 April 2011 - 12:06 PM

Thanks for sharing, sorry for your loss sad.gif Your story has made me realise I don't have enough family photos.

#73 AJ#99

Posted 22 April 2011 - 01:48 PM

I am sorry for you/your family's loss.  Thanks for sharing such an important issue.  I've also battled depression (mostly in silence) and I too lost a brother (just over 3 years ago now) to suicide.

bbighug.gif

#74 Judydoll

Posted 22 April 2011 - 05:16 PM

I am sorry for your family's loss Nut.   Thank goodness you were/are a close family and you have such wonderful memories.  To all others who have posted that are suffering from depression and/or have lost a loved one my heart also goes out to you.  Take care.

#75 Nanns

Posted 22 April 2011 - 07:04 PM

Thank you for sharing.

Depression is a horrible beast and I am so sorry for your loss.







2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Win a House of Magic prize pack

To celebrate the release of the new movie House of Magic, we have 10 double passes and magic sets to give away just in time for these school holidays. Enter Now for a chance to win!

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

6 things I didn't expect as a parent

From weird smells to dangerous opinions, painful body parts to numbness, here are a few things new mums and dads can expect.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.