Jump to content

Surviving Suicide: Nut's story


  • Please log in to reply
84 replies to this topic

#51 RachH

Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:05 AM

Nic, I know what a hole in your life and your families lives Lothar left when he took his own life. My heart breaks for you all and I wish I could take away your pain. I know how much you and your family miss him. Thank you for sharing your story, if it helps one person or inspires them to either get help or help a loved one, your job is done! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

#52 CandZ

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:09 AM

sad.gif  That was painfully sad.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother  sad.gif



#53 LittleRB

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:19 AM

My sister committed suicide 10 years ago this October. She was 20.

Nut - what a painfully moving and honest account of your brother's tragic death. There are so many things I can relate to in this story, the what ifs, the subtle signs you missed, the time you should have spoken up but didn't want to offend, the regret and most of all, the heartbreak that never goes away.

I hope and pray that your dear brother is at peace.

#54 bubbanme

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:29 AM

Nic, thank you so much for sharing your story. It truly makes you realise how important it is to always hold your loved ones close.

To both you and Ev, i'm so sorry for the loss of your brother & son. Sending you strength & love.

#55 Cluckster

Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:48 AM

Hi Nut. I'm sorry beyond words that you and your family have suffered such a loss.
Take care.

Tam xxx

#56 Tammy Swanson

Posted 08 April 2011 - 03:33 PM

I am so sorry for your families loss but thank you for telling us his story, as I feel it is an important one for everyone out there.

#57 *Steffi*

Posted 08 April 2011 - 04:00 PM

I can't thank you enough for writing about your brother. I am suffering from depressions myself, and it means so much for me to feel that other people get more aware about this desease. There is still so much stigma in society about having depressions. I am so glad for you to find his message on the mirror, I get goosbumps just writing this. I am not sure if you ever question this but be assured he loved you dearly and that he took his own life had nothing to do with not loving his family deeply but everything with being in a dark and lonely place and not knowing how to take those feelings any longer. Everything just seams so hopeless in those dark moments, so unbearable.
I like to thank you for pointing out the photo issue. I myself refuse to get my photo taken very often because I don't like the way I look. But having read your words changed my thoughts and I will make sure in the future to leave lots of memories behind for my daughter and husband and anybody else who loves me.
If you feel you want to make sense out of your loss and honour your brothers life (not that you could ever malke sense of a suicide, I know) , then please spread your message. There are so many of us out there with depressions who need more acceptance in society and yes, even their own families and friends. It could make all the difference.
Sending you lots of love, Stefanie

Edited by *Steffi*, 08 April 2011 - 04:08 PM.


#58 zara-b

Posted 08 April 2011 - 08:08 PM

Thank you so much for sharing your story Nic, and I'm so very sorry for your terrible loss.

I lost my sister three years ago after she took her life while under the influence of a powerful sleep medication. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to each of the members of our family, and something that we have to live with every day, so I can understand how devastated you must be by the loss of your brother.

I am sure your story will help others.

RIP Lothar.


#59 lilsunniegirl

Posted 09 April 2011 - 08:56 AM

Thank you for sharing that part of your life with us.. it's so terribly sad but so beautifully articulated.. im sorry if that is not the right word.. its the only word that stood out.. the love you have, the pain youve all suffered, the awareness and change that you have influenced in my life, that is a part of yours.. your story so honest and moving.. im so sorry for the loss of your brother, your parents son.. there are no words.. but thank you to you.. on so many levels.. you are an inspriration.

Lothar, rest in peace.

#60 3cubs

Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:40 AM

Thanks for sharing your story. Once again Im sorry for your loss and your family's loss. RIP Lothar. What may have taken your brother days only of planning takes years and years of mental processing. Im so glad your sister found the Sorry written on the mirror. You can only know without any doubt he didnt want to cause you pain he was obviously sick of his own suffering that he didnt want to carry the burden any longer. Getting help for mental health problems is still daunting for some and as soon as all the stigmas associated with suffering from conditions such as depression are gone people will avoid getting help and as a result all of us lose out because we lose life and the significant contributions these often deep feeling and intelligent beings may have made.
Take care Nic

#61 Nut

Posted 09 April 2011 - 10:55 AM

I think that is part of the problem. People can admit to having liver disease or blood pressure problems. It's not unacceptable to have cancer or or parkinsons. But depression is misunderstood. So many do not seek help and so many do not understand that it is a disease, not just a state of mind that people can snap out of. An invisible cancer that grows and left untreated may well kill you.



#62 mumto4monkeys

Posted 10 April 2011 - 09:22 AM

Nut and *Ev, thank you for sharing your story.

My thoughts are with you.

It is such a sad and important story.  

Well done for writing it Nut, it would have been hard to do it, but I am sure that there will be many who will benefit. thank you

#63 TardisAngels

Posted 10 April 2011 - 10:19 AM

Thank you for sharing your story Nut and *Ev. I cannot imagine what you and your family went through and go through but I hope that sharing the story of Lothar helped the healing just a little bit.

#64 LeeBee8

Posted 10 April 2011 - 01:03 PM

Nut, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. It is so tragic when somebody takes thier own life. You wrote your story so beautifully. And I truly hope hope your message hits home with everyone. I for one will be trying very hard NOT to forget to take those photos. Because they are precious memories.


#65 jellybeanz

Posted 11 April 2011 - 03:50 PM

Nut, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear brother. May he be at peace now. Thank you for sharing your story.

#66 SportySpice

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:27 PM

Thank you for your story and strength and love to you and your family in a very difficult time.

I was 25 when I found my husband who had suicided (he was 36).  I'm now (nearly 45) and with time it does get better, but there needs to be more awareness about this and of course our mental health issues.

20 years ago - like miscarriage as a topic - it's all "taboo".... there are more suicides than there are road fatalities in more years than not, and unfortunately it's the "survivors" that pick up the devasting pieces.

With the events that took place in my life 20 years ago, they have certainly shaped and in some areas, changed my outlook on life, and yes my house is literally FILLED with photographs of family, friends and loved ones.



#67 **Xena**

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:43 PM

Oh Nut I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your dear brother was unknowingly in such a bad place that he saw suicide as his only option out.

My love to you and your family hhugs.gif

ETA: SportySpice my heart goes out to you too hhugs.gif

Edited by **Xena**, 13 April 2011 - 01:44 PM.


#68 Rumour has it..

Posted 13 April 2011 - 01:59 PM

So sorry for your loss Nut!
Love and hugs to you & your family!  hhugs.gif

xxEm

#69 love life

Posted 14 April 2011 - 05:22 AM

I cried reading your story about your beautiful brother. I have suffered depression and the symptons of withrawal from family events etc.., having no joy in life anymore, no energy, your spirit of living has been really beaten down, unbearable loneliness and hopelessness are so real. I am okay now, i happen to come accross a fantastic counsellor when i was 36yrs old,(i am 43yrs old now) i am on no medication as he doesnt feel i need it, i continually see him to this day to keep on top of my depression, its just so wonderful to have someone like my counsellor that i can off load too (that isnt family or friends) that you can just be you, warts, thoughts and all, and coming out of a session feeling on top of the world. The signs your brother showed is what i felt and you are right when you said you could of caught up with him more for coffee etc because thats what i would of wanted more of when i was going through my stuff but unfortunately i didnt know how to ask for my time and attention from family or friends? Also the bit about your brother was so generous, giving, kind and loving (thats how i was) our hearts sometimes are to big and thats not always a good thing because we always feel empty inside, we may have all the great family and friends around us, no financial problems, great job, great life etc...but inside of us we are empty and what i learnt is that i had to fill the inside up in myself. Slowly i learnt to put myself first (before that i was putting everyone else first and forgetting about me) there were lots of things i had to re learn and finally i pulled myself out of this black hole but as i said i continually see my counsellor every few months to keep on top of it,Its a life long battle.

#70 mumto4boys

Posted 16 April 2011 - 02:15 PM

Oh Nut, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother.

I know that your story will help many people though. Thank you for sharing.



#71 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 April 2011 - 12:06 PM

Thanks for sharing, sorry for your loss sad.gif Your story has made me realise I don't have enough family photos.

#72 AJ#99

Posted 22 April 2011 - 01:48 PM

I am sorry for you/your family's loss.  Thanks for sharing such an important issue.  I've also battled depression (mostly in silence) and I too lost a brother (just over 3 years ago now) to suicide.

bbighug.gif

#73 Judydoll

Posted 22 April 2011 - 05:16 PM

I am sorry for your family's loss Nut.   Thank goodness you were/are a close family and you have such wonderful memories.  To all others who have posted that are suffering from depression and/or have lost a loved one my heart also goes out to you.  Take care.

#74 Nanns

Posted 22 April 2011 - 07:04 PM

Thank you for sharing.

Depression is a horrible beast and I am so sorry for your loss.




#75 andieinvic

Posted 25 April 2011 - 03:52 PM

Very sorry for the loss of your brother Nut, so sad that you and your family have to bear this loss.  Thank you for sharing, it's a big flag for us all.




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.