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Do beautiful-looking people get bullied?


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#1 hennypennygirl

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:37 PM

I struggled through most of my working life with being bullied. I figured it was because I wasn't very attractive and the bullying-comments were directed at my looks.
I worked for a woman that called me "ugly" every morning - "Good morning ugly".
I wanted to keep my job and never retaliated.
And it just wasn't the women who bullied me. Men did too and comments were always directed at my looks.

So I have always wanted to know is it only the "ugly,less-attractive people" that get bullied?
Do Attractive-looking people get bullied for being attractive?

#2 red door

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (hennypennygirl @ 23/03/2011, 11:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I struggled through most of my working life with being bullied. I figured it was because I wasn't very attractive and the bullying-comments were directed at my looks.
I worked for a woman that called me "ugly" every morning - "Good morning ugly".
I wanted to keep my job and never retaliated.
And it just wasn't the women who bullied me. Men did too and comments were always directed at my looks.

So I have always wanted to know is it only the "ugly,less-attractive people" that get bullied?
Do Attractive-looking people get bullied for being attractive?



yes.

#3 -Emissary-

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:42 PM

Short answer is.. yes they do.

In a different way though. I have heard people made comments about a beautiful girls (usually just the girls) and how they can't be very smart because she's beautiful.  wacko.gif

Somehow, in some very odd ways, beautiful people are not suppose to have much of a brain.

I'm so sorry about your bullying. I would have walked out.

#4 red door

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:44 PM

QUOTE (Agent Ace @ 23/03/2011, 11:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Short answer is.. yes they do.

In a different way though. I have heard people made comments about a beautiful girls (usually just the girls) and how they can't be very smart because she's beautiful.  wacko.gif

Somehow, in some very odd ways, beautiful people are not suppose to have much of a brain.

I'm so sorry about your bullying. I would have walked out.


and "you only got the job because of how you look"
colleagues being b**chy/ trying to intimidate.

If you are good looking AND smart AND have a dominant/ take charge personality, people positively HATE you and will try to undermine you at every opportunity...you just have to wait till you get fat and ugly and then people are nicer.

#5 kadoodle

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:50 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about that OP.  No matter what you look like or what your age, bullying is craptastic.

I think Elle Macpherson and Nicole Kidman have both spoken about getting bullied at school, and you can't get much more beautiful than either of them.

#6 wenchwitch

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:51 PM

Sometimes i think the drop dead gorgeous do struggle to make friends as people assume that they are either princesses or up themselves or are just so popular that they have heaps of friends and so wouldnt look twice at them.

Judgements go both ways and mainly stem from insecurities.

I think if you are shallow enough to judge someone on their outward appearance then that will lead to shallow relationships and that goes either way and is sad because you are missing out.

(from someone who isn't drop dead gorgeous or ugly just happily comfortable in my own skin)



#7 76 others

Posted 23 March 2011 - 10:53 PM

Well you always seem to hear in interviews with models or gorgeous actresses that they all seemed to be ugly ducklings that turned into swans. Not sure I believe all of them.

Sorry you were treated that way op. That's disgusting.

#8 raven74

Posted 23 March 2011 - 11:11 PM

OP that's horrible!  I hope that woman gets piles so big her ears bleed when she craps.

I have a friend who is utterly stunning, think Miranda Kerr, but a LOT prettier. We spoke of this, and this is what she told me:
Men were afraid to ask her on a date
Women instantly and actively hated her
Being jeered, whistled at and having "hey gorgeous wanna f@@k" from random strangers in clubs or from cars got very old, very quickly
Partnered women were "too afraid" to have her over in case she tried to steal their man
Stealing said womens men was so obviously her agenda
She was never taken seriously at work, and was not credited for her intelligence
Meeting new people, she was always asked within 2 minutes "so you are a model, huh?". Followed by a rant of how ridiculous models are, that they are useless to date as they never eat and are vapid, self centred air-heads.  She was 5"4 FFS!  When she said "No, I am a journalist" they'd go ahhhh, so you wanna be on TV?  And begin  same rant over again.   She had no aspirations to be on TV!

What a horrible way to live sad.gif   She often said she'd trade her looks, anyday.

#9 Krill

Posted 23 March 2011 - 11:20 PM

They sure do!

In fact I can think of many of the 'prettiest' girls in school that were teased relentlessly throughout highschool.

Myself, I'm average looking, but had very big boobs and a very adult-looking slim, toned body at school, and while I wouldn't say I was bullied (although there was about a 4 week period where I was threatened  with being beaten) I was constantly the recipient of comments etc.

Many attractive girls were brandished as 's*uts' and 'b**ches'  too.

That said, I also know that many of the unfortunate looking girls at school were bullied relentlessly.

Edited by Krill, 23 March 2011 - 11:23 PM.


#10 LK1

Posted 23 March 2011 - 11:21 PM

I am so sorry that happened to you. What is wrong with some people!?

I have a girlfriend who is stunning, she is a model, and you would see her face (and body) in your local shopping centre in all sorts of different advertising, on TV and in magazines.

She gets accused of being stupid because she is pretty, a s*ut, sleeping her way into jobs, anorexic, that she must be on drugs to be that thin.
I have overheard people say that her boobs are fake, she must have had her lips done, botox, that she is a b**ch "in real life". Every time, I have spoken up and said "Actually, she is lovely, she's a good friend" and no one believes me, they  roll their eyes.

In truth, she is a gorgeous soul, who is very close to her family, healthy, and has just moved out of home with her boyfriend (only her 2nd serious one), and was discovered by a local photographer. Her agency constantly offers for her to move overseas/interstate at their cost, but she is very close to her Mum, and values that more.

Looks are nothing to judge people on.



#11 la di dah

Posted 23 March 2011 - 11:23 PM

I don't think you have to be that pretty to get the obscene drivers yelling invites to you as you walk... I get it. And I'm short and weird with crazy hair. I think they just like yelling at chicks to see what they'll do.

I've seen other (prettier) friends get all kinds of crap for "they must be USING their looks" or the assumption they're dumb or accusations of somehow cheating at being pretty. "Oh she BOUGHT that" like, well, whatever she did or didn't buy didn't turn the Swamp Thing into Cinderella, so calm down, cowboy.

Accusations of breast implants, fake hair, plastic surgery of all types, "lying with makeup," eating disorders. It got really ugly and it was baseless and mean.

#12 DontKnowDontCare

Posted 23 March 2011 - 11:24 PM

Yes, they do - a lot of the time simply from pure jealousy.



#13 codex

Posted 24 March 2011 - 12:02 AM


QUOTE
If you are good looking AND smart AND have a dominant/ take charge personality, people positively HATE you and will try to undermine you at every opportunity

In the vast majority of cases only if you are female.

#14 misshavok

Posted 24 March 2011 - 12:17 AM

I'm completely overweight and have dropped in the 'beauty stakes' now but...

Looking back to high school, I was quite attractive. Not your typical stand-out model beauty as I was a little alternative but I was always told I was a beautiful> I was slim (didn't realise it then), had a great rack and always had my fair share of offers from the males.

I had 's*ut' rumours started about me, regardless of the fact that I was a Christian and was a prude nonetheless. I had new girls at the school want to fight me for some ridiculous 'dominance' position, the idea that I was in such a position was news to me. And new teachers at school (usually at the start of a new year) all seemed to come in and started treating me as though I would be dumb, though I excelled in the classes I chose.

People that knew me knew that all the assumptions were rubbish but anyone new would come in on the defensive when they met me. I didn't realise any of this at the time, but getting fat and looking back has made me realise haha.

ETA - This isn't supposed to sound as cocky as it does. Tounge1.gif

Edited by misshavok, 24 March 2011 - 12:21 AM.


#15 Catolyn

Posted 24 March 2011 - 12:56 AM

In a different way, but yes they do. It seems like a lot of people feel that if someone is beautiful, then that's all they can be - they can't be kind, or smart, or a hard worker, or a good friend, or faithful partner. Why is that? Beauty also seems to be one of the traits that if you have it, you can't ever possibly be sad about something else in your life.
I'm not facially beautiful (my features are too strong) but I have the classic slender yet curvy figure and the amount of harrassment I've copped from both men and women, 'friends' and strangers over the years because of it is saddening.

#16 seayork2002

Posted 24 March 2011 - 01:55 AM

Who can actually say who is attractive or not???

#17 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 24 March 2011 - 04:15 AM

Yes, between my gorgeous friend and me I've had it easier, most of the bullying I had ended with high school. We're in our 30's and both have good careers but no one seems to accept that she is very bright and good at her job (I guess the assume I'm not out being wined and dined so have time to build my career!)

She is now going through the process of getting breast implants because despite the negatives she is terrified that she really has gotten ''to here" on her looks. So she is beautiful but still very insecure as a direct result of how that beauty has treated her. It's really disheartening as there's nothing I/we can say to change her mind and we're all a bit worried this will have a further negative effect.

I on the other hand don't even think about my looks beyond "is this appropriate" before going out and haven't received a negative comment in a long time.

OP - your situation sound really terrible though, I'm so sorry about that.

#18 virtuallotus

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:27 AM

QUOTE
Do Attractive-looking people get bullied for being attractive?



It's a tough one to answer. I'm not unattractive, but looks are the last thing I blame for being disliked or bullied. It's all to easy to fob off critics and attribute their comments to jealousy, and I think that kind of mindset can lead to ignoring genuine, non-physical issues.

But sometimes, when women make rude assumptions about me before they even know me, it does leave me wondering....*sniffs pits*  mellow.gif

#19 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:44 AM

Bullies will often identify an insecurity and attack that.
Teenagers in particular have a lot of insecurities and for this reason even the beautiful are easy targets.

#20 PurplePaperFrog

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:46 AM

The prettiest girl in my primary school class was a little chubby (slightly overweight). But because she was the biggest (only because the rest of us were really skinny), the boys were relentless in their teasing.

At such a young age they didn't see she had the most gorgeous face.

I recently saw pics of her on facebook and saw that she had come to resemble Pamela Anderson, with the bleached hair, hair extentions, all kinds of nips and tucks and she was super skinny with big fake boobs.

I was really sad for her because she truly was stunning and I wondered how much of how she turned out had to do with how those boys treated her in primary school.

She was naturally very pretty- but they obviously effected her self esteem so much that she just didn't see it.

#21 Anonymous12

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:54 AM

There are two particularly attractive women at my work - you should hear the comments in the kitchen about what they are wearing and the glee if one of them has a bad day.  Both lovely girls, both slightly ostracised by the women and work and treated as objects by the men.
It is really disappointing to see people who are normally nice to everyone treat them like this.

#22 s-m

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:57 AM

Yes. Either based on jealousy as PPs have mentioned. Or simply because corporate psychopaths are d*ckheads to everyone.

Steph

#23 ~~mumsie~~

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:58 AM

QUOTE (red door @ 23/03/2011, 11:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
and "you only got the job because of how you look"
colleagues being b**chy/ trying to intimidate.

If you are good looking AND smart AND have a dominant/ take charge personality, people positively HATE you and will try to undermine you at every opportunity...you just have to wait till you get fat and ugly and then people are nicer.


This. 100%.

I had 2 women gang up start a rumour that I was sleeping with an executive. That was an absolutely horrid month.

Edited by ~~mumsie~~, 24 March 2011 - 08:01 AM.


#24 virtuallotus

Posted 24 March 2011 - 07:59 AM

QUOTE
If you are good looking AND smart AND have a dominant/ take charge personality, people positively HATE you and will try to undermine you at every opportunity



This is true. A trifecta of looks, brains and personality will bring the nasty out in people.

#25 StopTheGoats

Posted 24 March 2011 - 08:05 AM

.

Edited by OldMajor, 31 March 2011 - 02:25 PM.





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