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Can childhood friendship cross the great divide?


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#101 Accidental

Posted 22 August 2010 - 07:07 PM

QUOTE (Velvis @ 22/08/2010, 02:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh and theaccidentalhousewife - you're a f**kwit.  Stick to watching SATC and Gossip Girl.

Ahhh thanks Velvis, I love a good flame.

QUOTE (Velvis @ 22/08/2010, 02:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I stated facts about myself (being a bit tongue in cheek about the looks and fluffy dog thing).

Apologies if my tounge was a little *too* far into my cheek for your to understand me. Although, if you don't recognise yourself in my reply, there is no need to be offended, no?

I still stand by my last paragraph though, I'm sure you have more in common than not and she could end up being a good friend:

QUOTE (theaccidentalhousewife @ 22/08/2010, 01:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But seriously, if you were friends then you might just get lucky and be friends now. Meet her somewhere netural, the park or a beach, have a stroll and a chat, and emphasise the things you have in common. I'm sure you both love your kids and your partners, I'm sure you both have views on current affairs, and I'm sure you both have some great memories, maybe even old photos. Why not give it a go?


#102 ~Tamm2

Posted 22 August 2010 - 07:51 PM

Oh EB is a funny place rolleyes.gif

REgardless of which one you are OP...I'd probably meet for coffee, but wouldn't expect to remain close friends. The sad reality, is that you both have very little in common anymore probably and in my world, friends have to have commonalities to remain friends.

All this talk about "I have friends that I have nothing in common with.." is absolute bollocks wink.gif EB idealism. Whilst what I see in a friendship will be as unique as the next persons, the reality is, that with friendships, we DO have SOMETHING in common that keeps us together and whilst on teh surface, to others (or even to ourselves) it may not appear that way, I am SURE that if one stops to really analyse a good friendship or a long lasting one, there will be some strong commonalities that get people through and keep the friendship going.

It's simply not human nature to truly be "friends" with someone you have no shared likes with! We tend to "gel" with those we find something attractive and they us.

Depending on each of our value sets, upbringing adn environment, it can be almost ANYTHING...but it IS there.

Anyway -truly? I still know a lot of people from my childhood days & up to my 20's. I keep in contact and am friendly and we reminise about old times and fun things we did and common experiences...but only 1 or 2 of these people I would now say are true friends for the NOW me. I have very little in common with most of my friends from school days, nothing to do with social status or that sort of thing, but I am just quite a different person these days to 20 and 30 years ago, that is just reality.

So I would be happy to meet most people I"ve known in teh past for a coffee and chat...but expect we'd remain "close buddies"?? Nah - unlikely. But I'd be open to it IF there was somthing there, for sure.

Tamm

#103 niggles

Posted 22 August 2010 - 08:28 PM

QUOTE
regardless of whether that old chum has gone on to become Princess Mary of Denmark or a sandwich artist at Subway.


On the subject of Princess Mary, it may interest you to know that she invited several of her friends from high school to her wedding...despite their now quite different living circumstances at first glance.

That's the sort of 'class' I can live with.

#104 Illiterati

Posted 22 August 2010 - 08:35 PM

Go on - take a walk on the wild-side.   rolleyes.gif

#105 rhyde

Posted 22 August 2010 - 08:43 PM

For her sake don't go.

You've obviously make your judgements,  people come from all walks of life and can be lovely or horrible regardless (as is obvious in your case).

You may want to pull your head out of your proverbial though.

#106 Babybear

Posted 22 August 2010 - 10:15 PM

I think it will probably go the way most of these friendships re-vived by FB tend to. You either meet in person or continue to share online - until you exhaust your memories of your shared time together and the brief catch-up re: what you have been doing in the interim since last you saw each other some 20 odd years ago. Then it will die a natural death. Lovely while it lasts and time for closure, but that's about all.

#107 NATPR

Posted 22 August 2010 - 10:30 PM

I would go...a 30 minute coffee will tell you all you need to know, rather than wonder if you should have.

There are always people in your life who are different to yourself because we are all different and friendships are not based around who has what and who does what.

I have friends who are doctors and friends who are SAHM (probably a harder job than the doctors!) it doesnt impact our relationship at all...just go and then update us on how it went tongue.gif

#108 ~Tamm2

Posted 22 August 2010 - 10:39 PM

The analogy with Princess Mary is pointless. She was in her late 20's when she met her husband and was STILL friends with her friends from school...I doubt she invited her primary school "bestie" IF she hadn't seen her since school rolleyes.gif

For heavens sake, sometimes EB is annoying tongue.gif Just because someone recognises their life circumstances are vastly "better" then someone they knew in primary school, doesn't make them judgemental or awful....just a fact of life. Happens ALL the time adn we ALL know it does.

Good on you OP for getting your life in good order and having a comfortable life. Sounds like you have used your early opportunities in life to "make good" and continue the momentum in adulthood. It IS sad that your childhood friends life hasnt' seemed to turn out so great...on the surface anyway. Hopefully though, she is happy and feels good about her life too. It's very different from yours OP, but might be quite fine for your childhood friend - each to their own life in a sense.

For all of you who are chucking crap at the OP...my guess is underneath your tall poppy carry-on...if given the choice, I seriously doubt you'd choose to be the OP and not the other woman, although, I also seriously doubt any of you would admit to it ph34r.gif I for one will openly admit, that on teh surface facts...I would MUCH prefer to be in the OPs life then the other womans. By a LONG shot and I'm not too embarrassed to admit that. I reckon I'd be a bit mad if I thought the other way around wacko.gif

Pl - ease...so funny to read all the wannabe moral crusaders be so self-rightous....oh, and yes, judgemental BIG time too (using the EB definition of judgemental, not the real definition wink.gif )

tongue.gif LOL

Tamm

#109 BlokesWorld

Posted 22 August 2010 - 11:11 PM

It sounds to me OP that you are ashamed of your roots.

TBH OP I don't think you should meet up with her because she sounds a much better person than you!

ETA What no soshal dog meme yet?

Edited by BlokesWorld, 22 August 2010 - 11:14 PM.


#110 ~Tamm2

Posted 22 August 2010 - 11:36 PM

Why would she be a much better person then the OP? Sounds to me like she's make some ****ed bad choices and had a pretty hard "eventful" life...so the OP having a good life means she is a worse person then??

The sheer lack of logic and sheer admiration that EBers have for LOW ACHIEVEMENT astounds me...get a grip people. There is nothing to admire greatly about people having a crappy life, if that's how you think, then that's about all you'll ever amount to.

I for one, aspire to have a successful, interesting and "easy" life becuase I make the best choices I am capable of...including, getting myself educated, getting a decent job and being damn choosey about who I hook up with and have kids with.

No wonder Australia has a seemingly bottomless pit of low achievement. YOu'll never amount to anything if you think that automatically success and good choice = bad person rolleyes.gif and tough crappy life = good person........

The wonders of EB EQ rolleyes.gif

Tamm

#111 ~Tamm2

Posted 22 August 2010 - 11:42 PM

And no wonder there are SO many people here and elsewhere who sit around feeling "hard done by" and sorry for themselves and continue to just make bad choice after bad choice and remain trapped in poor social and financial circumstances.

It's sad to see the bitterness of some of you with regard to "success" in life sad.gif

We should be proud of people who do well and make good in their life - not put them down and tell them they are awful for feeling good about themselves.

No wonder so many Aussies are caught in this cycle of playing the victim...whilst you think like that, you'll always be at the lower end of the societal scale for "going out there and getting what you can out of life and making it WORK for you"!!

It's pretty simple really. You control your own life - you make it what you want it to be...too many of you seem to be afraid in some way or fearful of self confidence, high self worth and pride in oneself sad.gif

Before going off your nuts at me - just think about it eh?

For all we know, the other woman might be a complete d***head anyway biggrin.gif !! After all, she's hooked up with bikie gangs, got a heap of kids to different men and her life seems to be a hotbed of chaos, poor socieoeconomic circumstances and doesn't sound very damn attractive to me anyway!

Each to their own though wink.gif

Tamm

#112 Guest_cathode_*

Posted 22 August 2010 - 11:45 PM

laughing2.gif  cclap.gif

#113 thundamumof3

Posted 23 August 2010 - 12:45 AM

QUOTE (~Tamm2 @ 22/08/2010, 11:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Before going off your nuts at me - just think about it eh?

For all we know, the other woman might be a complete d***head anyway biggrin.gif !! After all, she's hooked up with bikie gangs, got a heap of kids to different men and her life seems to be a hotbed of chaos, poor socieoeconomic circumstances and doesn't sound very damn attractive to me anyway!

Each to their own though wink.gif

Tamm


I dont see how being with a bikie gang member  makes her a lesser person, some of these guys can be quite normal nice guys...He might even make more money than her CEO if he is a real bad bikie biggrin.gif hehehe

How does having children to 3 different dads make her a bad person, bad choices maybe but I'm sure she knows that already and WTF is it any of your business or should I say how dare you judge her for such a thing...You don't know what led her to have them in the situations she has.

HOTBED of chaos....I think I know which person I'd rather be...The one living in reality and the one that has my head out of my a*se.

#114 louise3now4

Posted 23 August 2010 - 01:24 AM

QUOTE (cathode @ 22/08/2010, 11:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
laughing2.gif  cclap.gif

x 1

#115 Indi

Posted 23 August 2010 - 01:44 AM

QUOTE (TaniaD @ 21/08/2010, 07:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I imagine it would the same as meeting a complete stranger.  At 12 I was still a child, nothing like the woman I am now.  I certainly don't have any interest in the things I was passionate about at 12....matchbox cars, soccer, building cubby houses.  I don't know that I would meet to be honest, not unless I felt some sort of connection from our current discussion on FB.

ditto.  I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in meeting up with any one I went to primary school with, even my then best friends.  It would be exactly like meeting a stranger.  Bit like a mothers group - there has to be more to friendship than just having a child at the same time.


QUOTE (~Tamm2 @ 22/08/2010, 11:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why would she be a much better person then the OP? Sounds to me like she's make some ****ed bad choices and had a pretty hard "eventful" life...so the OP having a good life means she is a worse person then??

The sheer lack of logic and sheer admiration that EBers have for LOW ACHIEVEMENT astounds me...get a grip people. There is nothing to admire greatly about people having a crappy life, if that's how you think, then that's about all you'll ever amount to.

No wonder Australia has a seemingly bottomless pit of low achievement. YOu'll never amount to anything if you think that automatically success and good choice = bad person rolleyes.gif and tough crappy life = good person........

The wonders of EB EQ rolleyes.gif

Tamm

cclap.gif cclap.gif  



#116 rhyde

Posted 23 August 2010 - 06:19 AM

No-one critising her for her achievments - good on her for that.

But why would we need to know, or why would any normal person factor in nonsense like "bmw driving, fluffy dog, big house".  Why couldn't a simple "I've reconnected via FB with a primary school friend who wants to catch up, however I feel like our lives have gone down different paths and don't feel that we would have anything in common anymore".

The OP has obviously made assumptions about this women, who wants to extend an invitation to catch up.  She may be a wonderful person, she may try and sponge money, hell she may even try to talk to her about the church on scientology.

Short of someone having "stay away" tattooed on their forehead you really don't know what you're in for, you're in a public place getting a non-commital cup of coffee.  I'm sure the big executive has dealt with far more confrontational situations on her way to the top.

#117 Percy

Posted 23 August 2010 - 06:42 AM

Totally agree with you Tamm.

It sounds liek the OP and her old friend wouldn't have anything in common anymore. Sure I'd go and meet up but wouldn't expect to have a new friend out of it.

My childhood best friend and I have drifted apart - we have totally different lives with nothing in common anymore. As much as she meant a lot to me back in our childhood years, now we have such different values and lives that we have nothing in common aside from our home town. Such is life - why are expected to keep all our friends from way back when without moving on?



#118 Accidental

Posted 23 August 2010 - 07:57 AM

QUOTE (rhyde @ 23/08/2010, 06:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No-one critising her for her achievments - good on her for that.

But why would we need to know, or why would any normal person factor in nonsense like "bmw driving, fluffy dog, big house".  Why couldn't a simple "I've reconnected via FB with a primary school friend who wants to catch up, however I feel like our lives have gone down different paths and don't feel that we would have anything in common anymore".

yyes.gif  yyes.gif  cclap.gif

#119 LynnyP

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:17 AM

Some of you people have lots of trouble with descriptive language, don't you?

#120 Octopus

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:29 AM

.

Edited by Octopus, 10 January 2011 - 08:23 PM.


#121 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:33 AM

QUOTE (LynnyP @ 23/08/2010, 08:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Some of you people have lots of trouble with descriptive language, don't you?


I was thinking the same thing.

#122 charliebean

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:34 AM

Fact of the matter is EB will always side with the under dog because that's what the majority of EB'ers are.

#123 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:41 AM

QUOTE (~Tamm2 @ 22/08/2010, 11:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why would she be a much better person then the OP? Sounds to me like she's make some ****ed bad choices and had a pretty hard "eventful" life...so the OP having a good life means she is a worse person then??

The sheer lack of logic and sheer admiration that EBers have for LOW ACHIEVEMENT astounds me...get a grip people. There is nothing to admire greatly about people having a crappy life, if that's how you think, then that's about all you'll ever amount to.

I for one, aspire to have a successful, interesting and "easy" life becuase I make the best choices I am capable of...including, getting myself educated, getting a decent job and being damn choosey about who I hook up with and have kids with.

No wonder Australia has a seemingly bottomless pit of low achievement. YOu'll never amount to anything if you think that automatically success and good choice = bad person rolleyes.gif and tough crappy life = good person........

The wonders of EB EQ rolleyes.gif

Tamm


For me, it has nothing to do with her low achievement = admiration but more that the 'poor'  friend has extended an invitation to someone who used to be her best friend, and the best friend is mocking her on the internet. That's being a b**ch IMO. Not to mention the way the OP talks about herself. Who does that?  



#124 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:42 AM

QUOTE (charliebean @ 23/08/2010, 08:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Fact of the matter is EB will always side with the under dog because that's what the majority of EB'ers are.


You are right but I don't think it is because we are predominantly under  dogs. I know some of these wonderful women are very successful in their own lives. I  think it is the nature of women in general to support the underdog. Just on EB  we are in the habit of taking everything so literally. The OP does come across  as a bit of a snot but I don't think it is necessarily because she is one. She tried  her hand at tongue-in-cheek and failed as we often do on EB.

Edited by ForsakenTruth, 23 August 2010 - 09:11 AM.


#125 wifey101

Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:50 AM

I would remain FB friends... but I dont think the 'friendship' would work well in the real world.
You have nothing in common apart from your primary school days.






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