Jump to content

Can childhood friendship cross the great divide?


  • Please log in to reply
150 replies to this topic

#1 Velvis

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:10 PM

You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?

Edited by Velvis, 21 August 2010 - 07:13 PM.


#2 skylark

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:14 PM

Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.

#3 bmieke

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:16 PM

I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.

#4 *mylittleprince*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:18 PM

Which one are you?

If you're the
QUOTE
university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old
you sound like a brat to me. You come across as if you think you are so much better than her. If that's what you think, why bother meeting up.

Edited by the*little*prince, 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM.


#5 Amanda_R

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

Why not?  What's an hour or so out of your day?  Decide at the end of it whether or not she's a person you have anything in common with.  The life 'stats' don't really indicate much.

#6 allye06

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

And which one are you? Or is this purely hypothetical?

Yes, I would meet up if I wanted to. I don't really get the 'confrontational' angle.

#7 Rainbow Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:25 PM

Definitely meet up.  It might be a lot of fun.  Certainly don't "dress up" as that might create immediate barriers.  And don't boast about your life (don't lie either).  Hopefully you can connect on a pure human level.

ETA  I was assuming you drive a BMW.  cool.gif

Edited by cluttergirl, 21 August 2010 - 08:13 PM.


#8 mummymore

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (bmieke @ 21/08/2010, 07:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.



Couldn't agree more!  Well said.  Definitely go and have the coffee.

#9 ~ Four Blessings ~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM

QUOTE
Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.


I agree with the above.

I think you used to be great friends and why not give yourself  a chance to reconnect and see if you have anything to talk about, what can it hurt? although I do find your description of her and the one of yourself quite judgemental and perhaps you have already made up your mind that you are too good for her.

Personally if I was great friends with someone at school, lost contact and they cared enough to make contact I wouldnt give a flying rats bum what my status was or what there's was I would give it a go and hopefully laugh about old times.

Edited by ~ Four Blessings ~, 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM.


#10 noone special

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:40 PM

I get the feeling you already think you are much better than her so I wouldn't bother as you would just be looking down on her.

#11 Eirinn

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:43 PM

For her sake, don't bother meeting up. What on earth have your looks got to do with anything?

#12 biene_maja

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:45 PM

QUOTE
Definitely not! The classes should never mix.


LOL

#13 Romeo Void

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

I imagine it would the same as meeting a complete stranger.  At 12 I was still a child, nothing like the woman I am now.  I certainly don't have any interest in the things I was passionate about at 12....matchbox cars, soccer, building cubby houses.  I don't know that I would meet to be honest, not unless I felt some sort of connection from our current discussion on FB.

#14 Etcetera

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

Hmm I see a meme in this thread...

#15 nom de plume

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:52 PM

I think it depends on your attitude going in.  If you're the BMW chick, then as long as you don't meet her with the intention of belittling her, then go for it.  If she asked for coffee, she probably doesn't see the differences like you do.



#16 harrison~at~last

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


But which one of you is truly happy?

I've met up with a lot of friends and acquaintances from High School.  There's not one that I haven't clicked with yet!

#17 ♥Rumpelstiltskin♥

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:01 PM



You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

You sound like a stuck up cow please just let her live her life in peace...I wouldn't want to be friends with you ....


#18 Forward to 30

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:04 PM

I'm going to say no.

A past shared that long ago is really meaningless today. Unless you had some common ground I wouldn't bother.

I found some old friends via facebook (10 years apart, so far less) and realised I have nothing to say to them. I have moved on, they have moved on.

This created a bit of awkwardness for me. My mum happened to also befriend some of my school friends including my first boyfriend. She wanted me to invite him over after I had DS because we still had so much in common... we had nothing to say to each other.

I let her be friends with them, she feels big and important by gossiping. I think it is sad.

Bel

#19 Mrs.Brown

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:05 PM

What do I think? I think your a very conceited and judgemental knob

So what that she doesnt have the life you have, the money you have, the looks that you say that you have ( had to laught at that  roll2.gif  )

Sends me her details, I will have coffee with her. Im a 40 year old with stretch marks, some tummy and leg flab, not too mention an ass as big as a mack truck. I have no money in the bank and drive a falling apart 1998 Toyota. I dropped out of high school in early year 10 to work in a bakery. Oh, and I now clean toilets for a living. I will have coffee with her, and least I wouldnt bag her out like you have.

Mmm, I bet I wouldnt fall into your category of coffee mates OP. Oh and to answer your question. Dont meet up with her, you are already seeing yourself as being above her, and I can tell from your post that she will notice that straightaway.

Bet you have a soshal child too lol

Edited - How do you know that she has kids to 3 different fathers, and is now currently involved with a guy who is a member of an outlaw motorcycle gang? Im sure she hasnt put the latter on her Facebook info.

Edited by A Lovable Bogan, 21 August 2010 - 08:10 PM.


#20 ~*Ness~*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:09 PM

I wouldnt meet her if you are going to be judging her and her "hard life".

I caught up with a friend from school through facebook that I havent seen since her Mum pulled her out of our school in year 8. We were great friends in year 7, then I changed crowds in year 8 and I hate to admit it but I was horrible to her.  sad.gif We werent even speaking anymore when she left schools.

But, I was 13 and its been a long time, and when I found her on facebook she was happy to hear from me, and turns out she lives 10 mins away and has a baby as well. We have caught up about 5 times now, and I am so happy I have found her friendship again. We will never be besties again or anything, but we still get along really well and I love our catch ups.

#21 ~Nic~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.


If this is you, leave her alone. It sounds like you would be getting in contact purely to show off how wonderful your life is and look down at hers.

QUOTE
She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


If this is you, steer clear of her. Sounds like a cow.

However, it seems to be a pretty safe bet as to which of the two you are.

rolleyes.gif

#22 Guest_Buy Me A Pony!_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:16 PM

q

Edited by Buy Me A Pony!, 21 August 2010 - 08:31 PM.


#23 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 09:54 PM

so you're the new 'mature' version of soshal girl. ddoh.gif

If you were good mates, it might be fun to catch up. If you're hung up on the idea of your life being successful while hers is trash, then don't meet up. She's probably worthy of more than your scorn.

#24 Princesinders

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:03 PM

This....
QUOTE (Eirinn @ 21/08/2010, 07:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For her sake, don't bother meeting up.

...if you are the former.

#25 Rainbow Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE
You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?


Just in case original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.