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Can childhood friendship cross the great divide?


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154 replies to this topic

#1 Velvis

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:10 PM

You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?

Edited by Velvis, 21 August 2010 - 07:13 PM.


#2 skylark

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:14 PM

Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.

#3 bmieke

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:16 PM

I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.

#4 *mylittleprince*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:18 PM

Which one are you?

If you're the
QUOTE
university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old
you sound like a brat to me. You come across as if you think you are so much better than her. If that's what you think, why bother meeting up.

Edited by the*little*prince, 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM.


#5 Amanda_R

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

Why not?  What's an hour or so out of your day?  Decide at the end of it whether or not she's a person you have anything in common with.  The life 'stats' don't really indicate much.

#6 allye06

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

And which one are you? Or is this purely hypothetical?

Yes, I would meet up if I wanted to. I don't really get the 'confrontational' angle.

#7 Feral Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:25 PM

Definitely meet up.  It might be a lot of fun.  Certainly don't "dress up" as that might create immediate barriers.  And don't boast about your life (don't lie either).  Hopefully you can connect on a pure human level.

ETA  I was assuming you drive a BMW.  cool.gif

Edited by cluttergirl, 21 August 2010 - 08:13 PM.


#8 mummymore

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (bmieke @ 21/08/2010, 07:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.



Couldn't agree more!  Well said.  Definitely go and have the coffee.

#9 Cat People

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:35 PM

Definitely not!  The classes should never mix.

#10 ~ Four Blessings ~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM

QUOTE
Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.


I agree with the above.

I think you used to be great friends and why not give yourself  a chance to reconnect and see if you have anything to talk about, what can it hurt? although I do find your description of her and the one of yourself quite judgemental and perhaps you have already made up your mind that you are too good for her.

Personally if I was great friends with someone at school, lost contact and they cared enough to make contact I wouldnt give a flying rats bum what my status was or what there's was I would give it a go and hopefully laugh about old times.

Edited by ~ Four Blessings ~, 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM.


#11 noone special

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:40 PM

I get the feeling you already think you are much better than her so I wouldn't bother as you would just be looking down on her.

#12 Eirinn

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:43 PM

For her sake, don't bother meeting up. What on earth have your looks got to do with anything?

#13 biene_maja

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:45 PM

QUOTE
Definitely not! The classes should never mix.


LOL

#14 Romeo Void

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

I imagine it would the same as meeting a complete stranger.  At 12 I was still a child, nothing like the woman I am now.  I certainly don't have any interest in the things I was passionate about at 12....matchbox cars, soccer, building cubby houses.  I don't know that I would meet to be honest, not unless I felt some sort of connection from our current discussion on FB.

#15 Etcetera

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

Hmm I see a meme in this thread...

#16 nom de plume

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:52 PM

I think it depends on your attitude going in.  If you're the BMW chick, then as long as you don't meet her with the intention of belittling her, then go for it.  If she asked for coffee, she probably doesn't see the differences like you do.



#17 harrison~at~last

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


But which one of you is truly happy?

I've met up with a lot of friends and acquaintances from High School.  There's not one that I haven't clicked with yet!

#18 ♥Rumpelstiltskin♥

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:01 PM



You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

You sound like a stuck up cow please just let her live her life in peace...I wouldn't want to be friends with you ....


#19 Forward to 30

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:04 PM

I'm going to say no.

A past shared that long ago is really meaningless today. Unless you had some common ground I wouldn't bother.

I found some old friends via facebook (10 years apart, so far less) and realised I have nothing to say to them. I have moved on, they have moved on.

This created a bit of awkwardness for me. My mum happened to also befriend some of my school friends including my first boyfriend. She wanted me to invite him over after I had DS because we still had so much in common... we had nothing to say to each other.

I let her be friends with them, she feels big and important by gossiping. I think it is sad.

Bel

#20 Mrs.Brown

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:05 PM

What do I think? I think your a very conceited and judgemental knob

So what that she doesnt have the life you have, the money you have, the looks that you say that you have ( had to laught at that  roll2.gif  )

Sends me her details, I will have coffee with her. Im a 40 year old with stretch marks, some tummy and leg flab, not too mention an ass as big as a mack truck. I have no money in the bank and drive a falling apart 1998 Toyota. I dropped out of high school in early year 10 to work in a bakery. Oh, and I now clean toilets for a living. I will have coffee with her, and least I wouldnt bag her out like you have.

Mmm, I bet I wouldnt fall into your category of coffee mates OP. Oh and to answer your question. Dont meet up with her, you are already seeing yourself as being above her, and I can tell from your post that she will notice that straightaway.

Bet you have a soshal child too lol

Edited - How do you know that she has kids to 3 different fathers, and is now currently involved with a guy who is a member of an outlaw motorcycle gang? Im sure she hasnt put the latter on her Facebook info.

Edited by A Lovable Bogan, 21 August 2010 - 08:10 PM.


#21 ~*Ness~*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:09 PM

I wouldnt meet her if you are going to be judging her and her "hard life".

I caught up with a friend from school through facebook that I havent seen since her Mum pulled her out of our school in year 8. We were great friends in year 7, then I changed crowds in year 8 and I hate to admit it but I was horrible to her.  sad.gif We werent even speaking anymore when she left schools.

But, I was 13 and its been a long time, and when I found her on facebook she was happy to hear from me, and turns out she lives 10 mins away and has a baby as well. We have caught up about 5 times now, and I am so happy I have found her friendship again. We will never be besties again or anything, but we still get along really well and I love our catch ups.

#22 ~Nic~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.


If this is you, leave her alone. It sounds like you would be getting in contact purely to show off how wonderful your life is and look down at hers.

QUOTE
She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


If this is you, steer clear of her. Sounds like a cow.

However, it seems to be a pretty safe bet as to which of the two you are.

rolleyes.gif

#23 Guest_Buy Me A Pony!_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:16 PM

q

Edited by Buy Me A Pony!, 21 August 2010 - 08:31 PM.


#24 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 09:54 PM

so you're the new 'mature' version of soshal girl. ddoh.gif

If you were good mates, it might be fun to catch up. If you're hung up on the idea of your life being successful while hers is trash, then don't meet up. She's probably worthy of more than your scorn.

#25 Tofu Puff

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:03 PM

This....
QUOTE (Eirinn @ 21/08/2010, 07:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For her sake, don't bother meeting up.

...if you are the former.




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