Jump to content

Can childhood friendship cross the great divide?


  • Please log in to reply
150 replies to this topic

#1 Velvis

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:10 PM

You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?

Edited by Velvis, 21 August 2010 - 07:13 PM.


#2 skylark

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:14 PM

Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.

#3 bmieke

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:16 PM

I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.

#4 *mylittleprince*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:18 PM

Which one are you?

If you're the
QUOTE
university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old
you sound like a brat to me. You come across as if you think you are so much better than her. If that's what you think, why bother meeting up.

Edited by the*little*prince, 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM.


#5 Amanda_R

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

Why not?  What's an hour or so out of your day?  Decide at the end of it whether or not she's a person you have anything in common with.  The life 'stats' don't really indicate much.

#6 allye06

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

And which one are you? Or is this purely hypothetical?

Yes, I would meet up if I wanted to. I don't really get the 'confrontational' angle.

#7 Literary Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:25 PM

Definitely meet up.  It might be a lot of fun.  Certainly don't "dress up" as that might create immediate barriers.  And don't boast about your life (don't lie either).  Hopefully you can connect on a pure human level.

ETA  I was assuming you drive a BMW.  cool.gif

Edited by cluttergirl, 21 August 2010 - 08:13 PM.


#8 mummymore

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (bmieke @ 21/08/2010, 07:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.



Couldn't agree more!  Well said.  Definitely go and have the coffee.

#9 ~ Four Blessings ~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM

QUOTE
Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.


I agree with the above.

I think you used to be great friends and why not give yourself  a chance to reconnect and see if you have anything to talk about, what can it hurt? although I do find your description of her and the one of yourself quite judgemental and perhaps you have already made up your mind that you are too good for her.

Personally if I was great friends with someone at school, lost contact and they cared enough to make contact I wouldnt give a flying rats bum what my status was or what there's was I would give it a go and hopefully laugh about old times.

Edited by ~ Four Blessings ~, 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM.


#10 noone special

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:40 PM

I get the feeling you already think you are much better than her so I wouldn't bother as you would just be looking down on her.

#11 Eirinn

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:43 PM

For her sake, don't bother meeting up. What on earth have your looks got to do with anything?

#12 biene_maja

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:45 PM

QUOTE
Definitely not! The classes should never mix.


LOL

#13 Romeo Void

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

I imagine it would the same as meeting a complete stranger.  At 12 I was still a child, nothing like the woman I am now.  I certainly don't have any interest in the things I was passionate about at 12....matchbox cars, soccer, building cubby houses.  I don't know that I would meet to be honest, not unless I felt some sort of connection from our current discussion on FB.

#14 Etcetera

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

Hmm I see a meme in this thread...

#15 nom de plume

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:52 PM

I think it depends on your attitude going in.  If you're the BMW chick, then as long as you don't meet her with the intention of belittling her, then go for it.  If she asked for coffee, she probably doesn't see the differences like you do.



#16 harrison~at~last

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


But which one of you is truly happy?

I've met up with a lot of friends and acquaintances from High School.  There's not one that I haven't clicked with yet!

#17 ♥Rumpelstiltskin♥

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:01 PM



You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

You sound like a stuck up cow please just let her live her life in peace...I wouldn't want to be friends with you ....


#18 Forward to 30

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:04 PM

I'm going to say no.

A past shared that long ago is really meaningless today. Unless you had some common ground I wouldn't bother.

I found some old friends via facebook (10 years apart, so far less) and realised I have nothing to say to them. I have moved on, they have moved on.

This created a bit of awkwardness for me. My mum happened to also befriend some of my school friends including my first boyfriend. She wanted me to invite him over after I had DS because we still had so much in common... we had nothing to say to each other.

I let her be friends with them, she feels big and important by gossiping. I think it is sad.

Bel

#19 Mrs.Brown

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:05 PM

What do I think? I think your a very conceited and judgemental knob

So what that she doesnt have the life you have, the money you have, the looks that you say that you have ( had to laught at that  roll2.gif  )

Sends me her details, I will have coffee with her. Im a 40 year old with stretch marks, some tummy and leg flab, not too mention an ass as big as a mack truck. I have no money in the bank and drive a falling apart 1998 Toyota. I dropped out of high school in early year 10 to work in a bakery. Oh, and I now clean toilets for a living. I will have coffee with her, and least I wouldnt bag her out like you have.

Mmm, I bet I wouldnt fall into your category of coffee mates OP. Oh and to answer your question. Dont meet up with her, you are already seeing yourself as being above her, and I can tell from your post that she will notice that straightaway.

Bet you have a soshal child too lol

Edited - How do you know that she has kids to 3 different fathers, and is now currently involved with a guy who is a member of an outlaw motorcycle gang? Im sure she hasnt put the latter on her Facebook info.

Edited by A Lovable Bogan, 21 August 2010 - 08:10 PM.


#20 ~*Ness~*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:09 PM

I wouldnt meet her if you are going to be judging her and her "hard life".

I caught up with a friend from school through facebook that I havent seen since her Mum pulled her out of our school in year 8. We were great friends in year 7, then I changed crowds in year 8 and I hate to admit it but I was horrible to her.  sad.gif We werent even speaking anymore when she left schools.

But, I was 13 and its been a long time, and when I found her on facebook she was happy to hear from me, and turns out she lives 10 mins away and has a baby as well. We have caught up about 5 times now, and I am so happy I have found her friendship again. We will never be besties again or anything, but we still get along really well and I love our catch ups.

#21 ~Nic~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.


If this is you, leave her alone. It sounds like you would be getting in contact purely to show off how wonderful your life is and look down at hers.

QUOTE
She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


If this is you, steer clear of her. Sounds like a cow.

However, it seems to be a pretty safe bet as to which of the two you are.

rolleyes.gif

#22 Guest_Buy Me A Pony!_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:16 PM

q

Edited by Buy Me A Pony!, 21 August 2010 - 08:31 PM.


#23 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 09:54 PM

so you're the new 'mature' version of soshal girl. ddoh.gif

If you were good mates, it might be fun to catch up. If you're hung up on the idea of your life being successful while hers is trash, then don't meet up. She's probably worthy of more than your scorn.

#24 Princesinders

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:03 PM

This....
QUOTE (Eirinn @ 21/08/2010, 07:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For her sake, don't bother meeting up.

...if you are the former.

#25 Literary Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE
You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?


Just in case original.gif




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

POLL: Which expert do you want to talk to?

Take our super quick poll to let us know what kind of expert you'd like to talk to.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

What's your family's illness curse?

I'm a firm believer that every family has their 'curse' : the illness that plagues them but seems to bypass other families.

Bride shaves her head at wedding to pay tribute to ill husband

The idea of shaving your head at your wedding would sound terrifying to many brides - however this woman did it, and for the most heartbreaking reason.

When do you stop swearing around a baby?

You don't really want your baby's first word to be the f-word. So when do you stop talking freely around them?

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Mum left fuming after being forced to dump 15 litres of breast milk at airport

Aviation officials at London's Heathrow Airport forced a nursing mother to dump nearly four gallons (nearly 15 litres) of breast milk.

Health authorities lost track of complaints about controversial midwife

New Zealand hospital bosses were warned about a childbirth educator's controversial and dangerous teachings 10 years ago, but it appears nothing was done.

Would you pay someone to name your baby?

"If you are getting somebody who really knows the evidence, then I'll say it's worth every penny, whether its $500 or $5000."

How much exercise is okay when you’re breastfeeding?

After having each of my babies, I was keen to get back into exercising. Following lots of back pain during pregnancy that restricted my movement, once those babies were out I couldn't wait to move properly again.

Pre-conception health tips for men

As it turns out, conceiving a baby isn't just about fertility and women's health.

Can you spot the 11 dangers to your baby?

Some are difficult to see at first glance, but they can be dangerous to our little loved ones.

Toddler survives near drowning, wakes up with ability to speak

It was moving day for the Holiday family from West Seattle. The family of four were moving just a few houses down the street, and both homes were a hive of activity.

Amniotic fluid embolism and blood clots in pregnancy

Two types of embolism that can occur include amniotic fluid embolism (AFE) and venous thromboembolism (VTE, or clots in the blood).

Little girl's dream comes true when she meets garbage man

She always wanted to meet her bin man, who drives by her house and honks at her each time.

What to expect when you go from two to four

Elyce and her husband had a four-year-old and a two-year-old - both boys - when they received the news they were expecting twin sons.

The latest news on treating and trying to prevent eczema

Eczema is a disease which affects up to one in four children under the age of two in Australia. (SPONSORED)

What's new so far: prams & strollers of 2016

It's time to round up the new prams of 2016; here's your guide to what's new and improved in the pram world.

Baby's death leads to warnings over portacot mattresses

The death of a baby whose head got stuck between a foam mattress and a cot side has prompted a public safety caution.

The grandmother offering a safe haven for babies in need

Like most people, Catherine Lucre is left heartbroken when she hears news that a baby has been abandoned or killed.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.