Jump to content

Can childhood friendship cross the great divide?


  • Please log in to reply
151 replies to this topic

#1 Velvis

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:10 PM

You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?

Edited by Velvis, 21 August 2010 - 07:13 PM.


#2 skylark

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:14 PM

Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.

#3 bmieke

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:16 PM

I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.

#4 *mylittleprince*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:18 PM

Which one are you?

If you're the
QUOTE
university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old
you sound like a brat to me. You come across as if you think you are so much better than her. If that's what you think, why bother meeting up.

Edited by the*little*prince, 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM.


#5 Amanda_R

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

Why not?  What's an hour or so out of your day?  Decide at the end of it whether or not she's a person you have anything in common with.  The life 'stats' don't really indicate much.

#6 allye06

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

And which one are you? Or is this purely hypothetical?

Yes, I would meet up if I wanted to. I don't really get the 'confrontational' angle.

#7 Ninja Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:25 PM

Definitely meet up.  It might be a lot of fun.  Certainly don't "dress up" as that might create immediate barriers.  And don't boast about your life (don't lie either).  Hopefully you can connect on a pure human level.

ETA  I was assuming you drive a BMW.  cool.gif

Edited by cluttergirl, 21 August 2010 - 08:13 PM.


#8 mummymore

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (bmieke @ 21/08/2010, 07:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have met up with a lot of old friends in the past few years. Primary and high school friends that I have not seen in 15-20 years. One thing that has really struck me is that those people are still the same person inside that they always were. We have travelled different roads and have very different lives now, but there is a shared history that is always fun to talk about.

Go for the coffee.



Couldn't agree more!  Well said.  Definitely go and have the coffee.

#9 ~ Four Blessings ~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM

QUOTE
Well, assuming she's a person and you're a person then I don't really see the issue. I can hang out with people from all kinds of backgrounds different to my own, I don't really get the question.


I agree with the above.

I think you used to be great friends and why not give yourself  a chance to reconnect and see if you have anything to talk about, what can it hurt? although I do find your description of her and the one of yourself quite judgemental and perhaps you have already made up your mind that you are too good for her.

Personally if I was great friends with someone at school, lost contact and they cared enough to make contact I wouldnt give a flying rats bum what my status was or what there's was I would give it a go and hopefully laugh about old times.

Edited by ~ Four Blessings ~, 21 August 2010 - 07:36 PM.


#10 noone special

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:40 PM

I get the feeling you already think you are much better than her so I wouldn't bother as you would just be looking down on her.

#11 Eirinn

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:43 PM

For her sake, don't bother meeting up. What on earth have your looks got to do with anything?

#12 biene_maja

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:45 PM

QUOTE
Definitely not! The classes should never mix.


LOL

#13 Romeo Void

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

I imagine it would the same as meeting a complete stranger.  At 12 I was still a child, nothing like the woman I am now.  I certainly don't have any interest in the things I was passionate about at 12....matchbox cars, soccer, building cubby houses.  I don't know that I would meet to be honest, not unless I felt some sort of connection from our current discussion on FB.

#14 Etcetera

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:47 PM

Hmm I see a meme in this thread...

#15 nom de plume

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:52 PM

I think it depends on your attitude going in.  If you're the BMW chick, then as long as you don't meet her with the intention of belittling her, then go for it.  If she asked for coffee, she probably doesn't see the differences like you do.



#16 harrison~at~last

Posted 21 August 2010 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


But which one of you is truly happy?

I've met up with a lot of friends and acquaintances from High School.  There's not one that I haven't clicked with yet!

#17 ♥Rumpelstiltskin♥

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:01 PM



You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

You sound like a stuck up cow please just let her live her life in peace...I wouldn't want to be friends with you ....


#18 Forward to 30

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:04 PM

I'm going to say no.

A past shared that long ago is really meaningless today. Unless you had some common ground I wouldn't bother.

I found some old friends via facebook (10 years apart, so far less) and realised I have nothing to say to them. I have moved on, they have moved on.

This created a bit of awkwardness for me. My mum happened to also befriend some of my school friends including my first boyfriend. She wanted me to invite him over after I had DS because we still had so much in common... we had nothing to say to each other.

I let her be friends with them, she feels big and important by gossiping. I think it is sad.

Bel

#19 Mrs.Brown

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:05 PM

What do I think? I think your a very conceited and judgemental knob

So what that she doesnt have the life you have, the money you have, the looks that you say that you have ( had to laught at that  roll2.gif  )

Sends me her details, I will have coffee with her. Im a 40 year old with stretch marks, some tummy and leg flab, not too mention an ass as big as a mack truck. I have no money in the bank and drive a falling apart 1998 Toyota. I dropped out of high school in early year 10 to work in a bakery. Oh, and I now clean toilets for a living. I will have coffee with her, and least I wouldnt bag her out like you have.

Mmm, I bet I wouldnt fall into your category of coffee mates OP. Oh and to answer your question. Dont meet up with her, you are already seeing yourself as being above her, and I can tell from your post that she will notice that straightaway.

Bet you have a soshal child too lol

Edited - How do you know that she has kids to 3 different fathers, and is now currently involved with a guy who is a member of an outlaw motorcycle gang? Im sure she hasnt put the latter on her Facebook info.

Edited by A Lovable Bogan, 21 August 2010 - 08:10 PM.


#20 ~*Ness~*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:09 PM

I wouldnt meet her if you are going to be judging her and her "hard life".

I caught up with a friend from school through facebook that I havent seen since her Mum pulled her out of our school in year 8. We were great friends in year 7, then I changed crowds in year 8 and I hate to admit it but I was horrible to her.  sad.gif We werent even speaking anymore when she left schools.

But, I was 13 and its been a long time, and when I found her on facebook she was happy to hear from me, and turns out she lives 10 mins away and has a baby as well. We have caught up about 5 times now, and I am so happy I have found her friendship again. We will never be besties again or anything, but we still get along really well and I love our catch ups.

#21 ~Nic~

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE
You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.


If this is you, leave her alone. It sounds like you would be getting in contact purely to show off how wonderful your life is and look down at hers.

QUOTE
She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.


If this is you, steer clear of her. Sounds like a cow.

However, it seems to be a pretty safe bet as to which of the two you are.

rolleyes.gif

#22 Guest_Buy Me A Pony!_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 08:16 PM

q

Edited by Buy Me A Pony!, 21 August 2010 - 08:31 PM.


#23 Guest_CaptainOblivious_*

Posted 21 August 2010 - 09:54 PM

so you're the new 'mature' version of soshal girl. ddoh.gif

If you were good mates, it might be fun to catch up. If you're hung up on the idea of your life being successful while hers is trash, then don't meet up. She's probably worthy of more than your scorn.

#24 Tofu Puff

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:03 PM

This....
QUOTE (Eirinn @ 21/08/2010, 07:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For her sake, don't bother meeting up.

...if you are the former.

#25 Ninja Lemur

Posted 21 August 2010 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE
You were best friends in primary school - inseparable. In year 7 you leave to attend an exclusive girls’ school and she stays on and goes to the local high school. You haven’t seen each other for 27 years and stumble upon one another on Facebook.

You’re now a university educated, BMW driving executive with 3 kids in private school. Happily married to a CEO with a big house in a riverside suburb and a fluffy dog. You’ve kept your looks and looking fine for 40 years old.

She’s a mum of 4. The eldest is 21. Three different fathers with the current partner being a member of an outlaw motorbike club. Life hasn’t been kind to her and she is far from your memory of her being the prettiest girl at school. She works in a lunch shop in an industrial area. Left school in year 10.

What do you do? Do you meet up in person over a coffee like she’s suggesting or let it go knowing on face-value you’ve nothing in common and it will be too confrontational?


Just in case original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Ambulance service under fire: baby seats to go, response times 'worse than ever'

The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Is e-reading to your toddler story time or just screen time?

When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?

Community mourns inspiring young dad

A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.

Meningococcal kills Queensland toddler

Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.

Nicole Kidman: 'I hope every month that I'm pregnant'

Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.

Recall: Aldi Wooden London Bus play set

Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.

Great gift ideas for first birthdays

From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.

Mum learnt she was pregnant hours before giving birth

Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.

How cancer has made me a better, happier person

I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Student shocked by surprise baby

Kate Hudson, 22, was on a dream European holiday with friends. She didn't realise she was about to become a mum.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.