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The Happy Ending

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#1 prue~c

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:07 PM

I got sent a book to review last week. It was about the frustrations of trying to conceive (TTC) and I guess it was meant to be a witty, tongue-in-cheek easy-read for women who have actively TTCed, as opposed to those women who get pregnant after touching their partner's dirty jocks.  

So I opened it up, expecting to find at least something I could relate to, when out fell the press release from the publisher, complete with happy smiling portrait of the author with child. What a surprise. In my search for knowledge - and I can attest that practically every IVFer is an expert researcher - I have racked up big dollars on my credit card buying all the books I can find on infertility and IVF. Almost without fail, stories of personal journeys tend to be accompanied by a back cover shot of a smiling toddler, or an epilogue of the author's final successful cycle.  

In American-penned books, the tale sometimes ends with a successful adoption -  something I have written about previously as being very rare in Australia - but more often than not, a surprise pregnancy or successful cycle sees a happy ending, thank you very much.  

I even read one book, written by a bloke which I guess is why he got the publishing deal, that achieved pregnancy on the first IVF cycle. It makes the whole process sound so facile. I hope none of my friends or family have read that particular novel, lest they think I'm making it out to be a bigger deal than it really is.  

In fact the only book on my shelf that doesn't have a happy ending is fiction but ironically, the most true-to-life as far as I am concerned. In Ben Elton's Inconceivable, the main characters TTC for ages, finally seek out IVF, fail, split up, she gets pregnant to another bloke, has a miscarriage, breaks up with him and then ends up with her original husband, sans child.  

Maybe people don't enjoy reading sad stories. The prevalence of titles in the top ten with real-life stories of abuse tells me different, but is the inability to have a child so confronting and depressing, that no one wants to read it? Even the famous infertility bloggers, such as Tertia, Lollipop Goldstein and A Little Pregnant, whose on-screen musings garnered them big followings, didn't get the book deal until the babe arrived. Almost as though the journey of infertility wasn't fit for mainstream consumption or to carry the authority that  a book potentially brings unless it has that de rigueur  happy ending.  

As for me, I absolutely want that happy ending. Then you can read all about it in my book. biggrin.gif

Edited by prue~c, 27 July 2010 - 07:52 PM.

#2 Guest_~Sal_*

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:26 PM

Here's to happy endings.  original.gif

#3 Miss Cherry

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:28 PM

And I'm sure I speak for many when I say how much I want to read your book too.

#4 cinnabubble

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:32 PM

I'd like to pre-order a dozen copies of your book for next Christmas, please.

#5 Wut??

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:49 PM

Moi too.

#6 lady*of*thelake

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:50 PM


With the baby's handprint inside.

#7 clairdelune

Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:52 PM

I would like an autographed copy.  Thanks for another insightful post, Prue.

#8 cyliebug

Posted 27 July 2010 - 08:04 PM

I'm looking forward to drinking champagne (the good stuff) at the book launch!

#9 Alacritous~Andy

Posted 27 July 2010 - 08:14 PM

I, too, hope you get your happy ending.  The most refreshing book I have read on the topic recently was Justine Davies book called "An Inconceivable Notion".  It's about people who are childless for a whole host of reasons, not just infertility.  I really enjoyed it.


#10 auntiesocial

Posted 27 July 2010 - 09:08 PM

Hope you get your happy ending and I get to read your book Prue. original.gif

#11 eilca

Posted 27 July 2010 - 09:16 PM

Your book will be one that I am more than happy to know how it all ends before I read it.

I can just picture your stylish and gorgeous cover!

#12 TardisAngels

Posted 28 July 2010 - 08:37 AM

I also hope that you get your happy ending Prue!! Like so many of us going through IVF - it's all that we want original.gif

I also wanted to add that I read a book recently about a woman going through IVF that doesn't get her happy ending (it's part fiction but based on real-life events). It's called Sex at 6pm and I read it before starting my journey though IVF. Even though I couldn't relate entirely to what Annarosa went through, it was still an eye-opener to the fact that not all IVF stories have Happy Endings

#13 The Magic Box

Posted 28 July 2010 - 08:44 AM

Another one here who hopes you get your happy ending.  I was also going to suggest "Sex at 6pm".

#14 ~TCBF~

Posted 28 July 2010 - 07:47 PM

Bring on the happy ending!

#15 Guest_domestically~challenged_*

Posted 28 July 2010 - 07:54 PM

Inconceivable seemed way too realistic to ever be classed as fiction.

I agree there should be way more books on those whose "happy ending" or closure was to live child free.

I could never bring myself to read IVF'er bio's as most of them fell pregnant their first cycle.

#16 Razman

Posted 29 July 2010 - 11:21 AM

QUOTE (~jody~ @ 28/07/2010, 08:44 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Another one here who hopes you get your happy ending. I was also going to suggest "Sex at 6pm".

#17 ~mumto2girls~

Posted 29 July 2010 - 01:47 PM

Prue - You really derserve your Happy Ending!! I was part of your ttc and bg group back in 2007(?) and I think of you often and pray your "happy ending" is not far away!! I would be another to buy your book just to say "I knew Prue before this book and she has come so far and she is such an inspiration". May your road to happiness begin real soon xx

#18 Fourteenyears

Posted 29 July 2010 - 03:30 PM

I would dearly love to read about your happy ending Prue.

I remember reading Inconceivable before I had children and being so affected the raw emotion in it, and so surprised by the uncharacteristic lack of happy ending that this is what tipped me over into going to my husband and saying 'we need to have a baby now'.  I think that before that point, without much conscious thought on the subject,  I'd been 'Hollywooded' into the vague assumption that the happy ending was out there for everyone who had the time and money to throw at IVF.

#19 rileycarrington

Posted 29 July 2010 - 05:48 PM

Ahhh Prue Prue, here's to happy endings and I hope yours is just around the corner. Thank you for having the courage to share your journey!

#20 pundelina

Posted 29 July 2010 - 09:45 PM

Those happy ending stories, I love them and all, but they completely failed to prepare me for our unhappy ending. Completely. And every time there's an article or a book (as you say) the featured players have a baby at the end. Where's the book from the couple who don't?

I hope you do get your happy ending Prue!

#21 Seanj

Posted 30 July 2010 - 12:20 PM

I also wish you, Prue, and everyone else reading your blog and waiting, a happy ending.

I can't remember the name of the series but an Irish journalist wrote a book about infertility set in Dublin - and *spoilers* the first book does not have a happy ending.

I remember the reviews on Amazon were very clearly divided on this, many who had experienced the journey appreciated this ending while other readers felt cheated.

There was a second book which looked at the trials of a Russian adoption and the competitiveness between the parents in the training course.

Though the series is meant to be funny, I decided not to read it.

#22 hernette

Posted 30 July 2010 - 01:49 PM

That's why it's good that we have blogs like this.  A blog doesn't need to have things all nicely tied up with a big bow.  Those stories have their place, but when you're reading the thoughts of someone who's had a child and is looking back at their experiences of infertility, it's tainted by the knowledge that they did get what they wanted in the end.  They don't have the same cloud over their heads threatening them with potential childlessness anymore.  I don't think looking back on that experience with the benefit of a happy outcome can ever be the same as being in it.

Here's to happy endings...

#23 Therese

Posted 30 July 2010 - 01:56 PM

I also hope you get your happy ending Prue.  I look forward to reading your book original.gif

#24 andyk

Posted 30 July 2010 - 02:22 PM

We did not get our happy ending.  It is heartbreaking to both of us and our close friends and family who can see how much we struggle with it.

So best wishes to you, I would certainly read your book about getting your happy ending.

#25 Ards

Posted 30 July 2010 - 03:29 PM

i pray your happy ending comes soon Prue.

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