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cousin marriages
its actually really common in many cultures


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424 replies to this topic

#1 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:39 PM

I'm really curious to get an idea of what the general community thinks of cousin marriages. Apart from people who come from cultures where it is normal to do so, most people seem to respond with a big 'ewwww GROSS' when told that people out there actually marry their cousins.

Is it a religious taboo? I know it used to be common in Western cultures not too long ago. Charles Darwin was married to his cousin, as was an Albert Einstein. But now it seems the mentality is 'Why would you marry your cousin?'

FYI it is legal in Australia.

WDYT?

#2 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:40 PM

Do I smell an agenda?






#3 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:41 PM

QUOTE
FYI it is legal in Australia.

Phew.  I have a red hot cuz down Hobart way.



#4 Daddyfied

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:43 PM

Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

#5 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE (Daddyfied @ 30/04/2010, 09:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

roll2.gif

#6 Velociraptor

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

Why do you care if people marry their cousins?

#7 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

I wasn't going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though and so didn't grow up together, so the argument of 'its like marrying your brother' really doesn't apply because we meet as adults. It's totally normal in my culture.

The depressing thing is that it is taboo in Australian culture and I have not yet found the courage to share the fact that my fiance is my cousin with my work mates. I've only told one person, and only because he is only minded. I've actually heard a work mate say 'ew' about cousin marriages before so I really just can't break the news. I'm not ashamed of it - I just can't face any bullying, taunting and gossip that might occur as a result.

So I'm just hoping to get an idea of how people feel about this, so I know what I'm in for if people do find out.

FYI all my non-work friends come from cultures where it is okay to marry cousins and think its normal too, so it is really just my work friends and maybe other people I have to deal with down the line that worries me.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM.


#8 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:51 PM

I think if you have to bonk someone or marry someone in your own family or extended family then your just not looking at the bigger scheme of things.

#9 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though

That doesn't make you any less related.



#10 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:53 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin


Is he your first cuz?

Not that it matters but yeah I find that more repulsive then a 2nd or 3rd cuz. I have lots of male cuz doesn't mean I'm gonna get in to a relationship with them. Ick!

It's like a extended version if incest. I mean OP don't you get out so you can meet people NOT RELATED TO YOU?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:54 PM.


#11 Roobear

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:55 PM

blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


#12 **BOOM**

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

roll2.gif

Um, because you live in different countries makes you no less cousins. You are still genetically linked & blood related. I think living in different countries is the least of you problems.


#13 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.

Lady_muck - yes we are first cousins.

A bit of a disclaimer, I'm not here to be told my kids will be disabled. I know the risks (they aren't as severe as people seem to assume), and I've made an educated choice.

#14 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM

Good grief! Are you a troll?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM.


#15 samanthan

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:59 PM

I don't have an issue with and yes it isn't illegal. The only problem that may arise with consanguinity is with children and the higher possibility of genetic defects. I'm not sure if you can have genetic testing for this kind of issue before you have children but I would look into it if I were you.
As for workmates etc...why tell them? It's not really any of their business or even relevant to your work. I guess depending on your background they might work it out if you're from a culture that tends towards arranged marriages but again it's nothing to do with them.

Just read that you don't want to hear about the kids thing, sorry I was typing when you posted. It's the first think I think of because I work in an area where I see this kind of issue a bit. I do agree though that it's rare.

Edited by samanthan, 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM.


#16 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#17 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE (~peeka~ @ 30/04/2010, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Lady_muck - meeting someone half way across the planet is no getting out enough for you? No, I'm not a troll. My God, that is so offensive. Do a google search - the world doesn't begin and end with the Australian shore.

Renoir - it makes things different to me from a social perspective. Yes the blood relationship is the same, but many other things aren't. Anyway, that has been my experience and you don't have to agree with that. It might be different to others, which is fine, but I really don't want this to be the focus of the discussion.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM.


#18 TEN!

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

I don't see anything wrong with it, and I really don't understand why anyone would.  Its not true it results in MORE birth defects.  Only where there is a genetic problem in the family already.  Tay Sachs families for example.

Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.  Its not forbidden in any of the major judeo-christian religions (which includes Islam).  People need to get over it.  Its not incest.

And before anyone asks, I am not married to a cousin.



#19 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#20 Guest_Padmé Amidala_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

I understand that it's perfectly normal in some cultures but it isn't the social 'norm' in most parts of Australia, and I think that 'Eww.. Gross' is  probably a fairly common reaction to cousin marriages by most Australians.

I must say, the thought of marrying my cousin makes me feel a bit 'eww' also, sorry.

In any case, if it worries you - just don't tell people?

All the best. original.gif


#21 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

His your cuz love...think about it a while.

#22 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

QUOTE
One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.
  So how did you meet?

If you met halfway across the world, as you state, why the need to lie?

(Or was it halfway across the world at Grandma's 80th?)



#23 EuphoricDysphoria

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

This is your mothers/fathers brothers/sisters child. Surely you could look elsewhere for a suitable spouse ? I didn't grow up with my cousin from NZ. In fact I have only ever seen him about 15 times. I sure as sh*t wouldn't marry him because he is too close genetically. He is my mothers sisters child.

I am seriously wondering when the "T" word should be brought up. In this topic I don't think it would be too early would it ?

QUOTE
Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.

The damage was done in that family long before they married their cousins and it was from all the inbreeding.


Edited by SpeckledPotato , 30 April 2010 - 10:07 PM.


#24 Guest_*alpharuby*_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

Aren't there genetic issues in first cousin marriages? Actually now that I've written it I think I might be wrong. I still think it's wrong and not widely accepted in Australia. One of my flatmates in uni was rooting his cuz. It was just too strange. Mind you they were both from the sticks and thought it completely normal

#25 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM

QUOTE (blueteddy @ 30/04/2010, 10:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Here's a thought, why not set your Facebook to PRIVATE? Or, just another thought, don't put it on facebook to start with  huh.gif You could even (take a deep breath here OP) close your Facebook account  ohmy.gif You know, if you don't want people knowing every intimate detail about your life.




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