Jump to content

cousin marriages
its actually really common in many cultures


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
404 replies to this topic

#1 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:39 PM

I'm really curious to get an idea of what the general community thinks of cousin marriages. Apart from people who come from cultures where it is normal to do so, most people seem to respond with a big 'ewwww GROSS' when told that people out there actually marry their cousins.

Is it a religious taboo? I know it used to be common in Western cultures not too long ago. Charles Darwin was married to his cousin, as was an Albert Einstein. But now it seems the mentality is 'Why would you marry your cousin?'

FYI it is legal in Australia.

WDYT?

#2 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:40 PM

Do I smell an agenda?






#3 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:41 PM

QUOTE
FYI it is legal in Australia.

Phew.  I have a red hot cuz down Hobart way.



#4 Daddyfied

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:43 PM

Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

#5 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE (Daddyfied @ 30/04/2010, 09:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

roll2.gif

#6 Velociraptor

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

Why do you care if people marry their cousins?

#7 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

I wasn't going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though and so didn't grow up together, so the argument of 'its like marrying your brother' really doesn't apply because we meet as adults. It's totally normal in my culture.

The depressing thing is that it is taboo in Australian culture and I have not yet found the courage to share the fact that my fiance is my cousin with my work mates. I've only told one person, and only because he is only minded. I've actually heard a work mate say 'ew' about cousin marriages before so I really just can't break the news. I'm not ashamed of it - I just can't face any bullying, taunting and gossip that might occur as a result.

So I'm just hoping to get an idea of how people feel about this, so I know what I'm in for if people do find out.

FYI all my non-work friends come from cultures where it is okay to marry cousins and think its normal too, so it is really just my work friends and maybe other people I have to deal with down the line that worries me.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM.


#8 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:51 PM

I think if you have to bonk someone or marry someone in your own family or extended family then your just not looking at the bigger scheme of things.

#9 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though

That doesn't make you any less related.



#10 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:53 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin


Is he your first cuz?

Not that it matters but yeah I find that more repulsive then a 2nd or 3rd cuz. I have lots of male cuz doesn't mean I'm gonna get in to a relationship with them. Ick!

It's like a extended version if incest. I mean OP don't you get out so you can meet people NOT RELATED TO YOU?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:54 PM.


#11 Roobear

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:55 PM

blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


#12 **BOOM**

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

roll2.gif

Um, because you live in different countries makes you no less cousins. You are still genetically linked & blood related. I think living in different countries is the least of you problems.


#13 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.

Lady_muck - yes we are first cousins.

A bit of a disclaimer, I'm not here to be told my kids will be disabled. I know the risks (they aren't as severe as people seem to assume), and I've made an educated choice.

#14 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM

Good grief! Are you a troll?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM.


#15 samanthan

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:59 PM

I don't have an issue with and yes it isn't illegal. The only problem that may arise with consanguinity is with children and the higher possibility of genetic defects. I'm not sure if you can have genetic testing for this kind of issue before you have children but I would look into it if I were you.
As for workmates etc...why tell them? It's not really any of their business or even relevant to your work. I guess depending on your background they might work it out if you're from a culture that tends towards arranged marriages but again it's nothing to do with them.

Just read that you don't want to hear about the kids thing, sorry I was typing when you posted. It's the first think I think of because I work in an area where I see this kind of issue a bit. I do agree though that it's rare.

Edited by samanthan, 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM.


#16 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#17 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE (~peeka~ @ 30/04/2010, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Lady_muck - meeting someone half way across the planet is no getting out enough for you? No, I'm not a troll. My God, that is so offensive. Do a google search - the world doesn't begin and end with the Australian shore.

Renoir - it makes things different to me from a social perspective. Yes the blood relationship is the same, but many other things aren't. Anyway, that has been my experience and you don't have to agree with that. It might be different to others, which is fine, but I really don't want this to be the focus of the discussion.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM.


#18 TEN!

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

I don't see anything wrong with it, and I really don't understand why anyone would.  Its not true it results in MORE birth defects.  Only where there is a genetic problem in the family already.  Tay Sachs families for example.

Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.  Its not forbidden in any of the major judeo-christian religions (which includes Islam).  People need to get over it.  Its not incest.

And before anyone asks, I am not married to a cousin.



#19 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#20 Guest_Padmé Amidala_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

I understand that it's perfectly normal in some cultures but it isn't the social 'norm' in most parts of Australia, and I think that 'Eww.. Gross' is  probably a fairly common reaction to cousin marriages by most Australians.

I must say, the thought of marrying my cousin makes me feel a bit 'eww' also, sorry.

In any case, if it worries you - just don't tell people?

All the best. original.gif


#21 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

His your cuz love...think about it a while.

#22 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

QUOTE
One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.
  So how did you meet?

If you met halfway across the world, as you state, why the need to lie?

(Or was it halfway across the world at Grandma's 80th?)



#23 Floki

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

This is your mothers/fathers brothers/sisters child. Surely you could look elsewhere for a suitable spouse ? I didn't grow up with my cousin from NZ. In fact I have only ever seen him about 15 times. I sure as sh*t wouldn't marry him because he is too close genetically. He is my mothers sisters child.

I am seriously wondering when the "T" word should be brought up. In this topic I don't think it would be too early would it ?

QUOTE
Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.

The damage was done in that family long before they married their cousins and it was from all the inbreeding.


Edited by SpeckledPotato , 30 April 2010 - 10:07 PM.


#24 Guest_*alpharuby*_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

Aren't there genetic issues in first cousin marriages? Actually now that I've written it I think I might be wrong. I still think it's wrong and not widely accepted in Australia. One of my flatmates in uni was rooting his cuz. It was just too strange. Mind you they were both from the sticks and thought it completely normal

#25 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM

QUOTE (blueteddy @ 30/04/2010, 10:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Here's a thought, why not set your Facebook to PRIVATE? Or, just another thought, don't put it on facebook to start with  huh.gif You could even (take a deep breath here OP) close your Facebook account  ohmy.gif You know, if you don't want people knowing every intimate detail about your life.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.