Jump to content

cousin marriages
its actually really common in many cultures


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
404 replies to this topic

#1 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:39 PM

I'm really curious to get an idea of what the general community thinks of cousin marriages. Apart from people who come from cultures where it is normal to do so, most people seem to respond with a big 'ewwww GROSS' when told that people out there actually marry their cousins.

Is it a religious taboo? I know it used to be common in Western cultures not too long ago. Charles Darwin was married to his cousin, as was an Albert Einstein. But now it seems the mentality is 'Why would you marry your cousin?'

FYI it is legal in Australia.

WDYT?

#2 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:40 PM

Do I smell an agenda?






#3 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:41 PM

QUOTE
FYI it is legal in Australia.

Phew.  I have a red hot cuz down Hobart way.



#4 Daddyfied

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:43 PM

Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

#5 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE (Daddyfied @ 30/04/2010, 09:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

roll2.gif

#6 Velociraptor

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

Why do you care if people marry their cousins?

#7 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

I wasn't going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though and so didn't grow up together, so the argument of 'its like marrying your brother' really doesn't apply because we meet as adults. It's totally normal in my culture.

The depressing thing is that it is taboo in Australian culture and I have not yet found the courage to share the fact that my fiance is my cousin with my work mates. I've only told one person, and only because he is only minded. I've actually heard a work mate say 'ew' about cousin marriages before so I really just can't break the news. I'm not ashamed of it - I just can't face any bullying, taunting and gossip that might occur as a result.

So I'm just hoping to get an idea of how people feel about this, so I know what I'm in for if people do find out.

FYI all my non-work friends come from cultures where it is okay to marry cousins and think its normal too, so it is really just my work friends and maybe other people I have to deal with down the line that worries me.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM.


#8 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:51 PM

I think if you have to bonk someone or marry someone in your own family or extended family then your just not looking at the bigger scheme of things.

#9 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though

That doesn't make you any less related.



#10 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:53 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin


Is he your first cuz?

Not that it matters but yeah I find that more repulsive then a 2nd or 3rd cuz. I have lots of male cuz doesn't mean I'm gonna get in to a relationship with them. Ick!

It's like a extended version if incest. I mean OP don't you get out so you can meet people NOT RELATED TO YOU?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:54 PM.


#11 Roobear

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:55 PM

blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


#12 **BOOM**

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

roll2.gif

Um, because you live in different countries makes you no less cousins. You are still genetically linked & blood related. I think living in different countries is the least of you problems.


#13 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.

Lady_muck - yes we are first cousins.

A bit of a disclaimer, I'm not here to be told my kids will be disabled. I know the risks (they aren't as severe as people seem to assume), and I've made an educated choice.

#14 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM

Good grief! Are you a troll?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM.


#15 samanthan

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:59 PM

I don't have an issue with and yes it isn't illegal. The only problem that may arise with consanguinity is with children and the higher possibility of genetic defects. I'm not sure if you can have genetic testing for this kind of issue before you have children but I would look into it if I were you.
As for workmates etc...why tell them? It's not really any of their business or even relevant to your work. I guess depending on your background they might work it out if you're from a culture that tends towards arranged marriages but again it's nothing to do with them.

Just read that you don't want to hear about the kids thing, sorry I was typing when you posted. It's the first think I think of because I work in an area where I see this kind of issue a bit. I do agree though that it's rare.

Edited by samanthan, 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM.


#16 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#17 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE (~peeka~ @ 30/04/2010, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Lady_muck - meeting someone half way across the planet is no getting out enough for you? No, I'm not a troll. My God, that is so offensive. Do a google search - the world doesn't begin and end with the Australian shore.

Renoir - it makes things different to me from a social perspective. Yes the blood relationship is the same, but many other things aren't. Anyway, that has been my experience and you don't have to agree with that. It might be different to others, which is fine, but I really don't want this to be the focus of the discussion.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM.


#18 TEN!

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

I don't see anything wrong with it, and I really don't understand why anyone would.  Its not true it results in MORE birth defects.  Only where there is a genetic problem in the family already.  Tay Sachs families for example.

Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.  Its not forbidden in any of the major judeo-christian religions (which includes Islam).  People need to get over it.  Its not incest.

And before anyone asks, I am not married to a cousin.



#19 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#20 Guest_Padmé Amidala_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

I understand that it's perfectly normal in some cultures but it isn't the social 'norm' in most parts of Australia, and I think that 'Eww.. Gross' is  probably a fairly common reaction to cousin marriages by most Australians.

I must say, the thought of marrying my cousin makes me feel a bit 'eww' also, sorry.

In any case, if it worries you - just don't tell people?

All the best. original.gif


#21 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

His your cuz love...think about it a while.

#22 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

QUOTE
One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.
  So how did you meet?

If you met halfway across the world, as you state, why the need to lie?

(Or was it halfway across the world at Grandma's 80th?)



#23 Floki

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

This is your mothers/fathers brothers/sisters child. Surely you could look elsewhere for a suitable spouse ? I didn't grow up with my cousin from NZ. In fact I have only ever seen him about 15 times. I sure as sh*t wouldn't marry him because he is too close genetically. He is my mothers sisters child.

I am seriously wondering when the "T" word should be brought up. In this topic I don't think it would be too early would it ?

QUOTE
Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.

The damage was done in that family long before they married their cousins and it was from all the inbreeding.


Edited by SpeckledPotato , 30 April 2010 - 10:07 PM.


#24 Guest_*alpharuby*_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

Aren't there genetic issues in first cousin marriages? Actually now that I've written it I think I might be wrong. I still think it's wrong and not widely accepted in Australia. One of my flatmates in uni was rooting his cuz. It was just too strange. Mind you they were both from the sticks and thought it completely normal

#25 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM

QUOTE (blueteddy @ 30/04/2010, 10:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Here's a thought, why not set your Facebook to PRIVATE? Or, just another thought, don't put it on facebook to start with  huh.gif You could even (take a deep breath here OP) close your Facebook account  ohmy.gif You know, if you don't want people knowing every intimate detail about your life.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Empowering bikini photo of 46-year-old mum goes viral

When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.

Devastated widow discovers she's pregnant the day before husband's funeral

They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Gabriella Goat sues Peppa Pig

Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.

Meet the Mpregs, the male pregnancy enthusiasts

"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."

Your new motherhood survival kit

Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.

More than 100,000 cars recalled globally after death of pregnant woman

The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.

I had a 'good baby' but still suffered from postnatal depression

I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Eating ice may give mental boost to the iron deficient: study

A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.

Tiny lives in caring hands: Thank U NICU Day

Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.

I paid $50,000 to have a girl

This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Dear firstborn, I'm sorry

Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.

A trace of sesame could kill my son

Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.

When you know before the test says yes

It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.

What not to do when your partner is in labour

Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

'Chopstick Baby' born at 23 weeks

Given the nickname of 'Chopstick Baby' by local media, a baby born weighing 660g has survived a week outside the womb.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.