Jump to content

cousin marriages
its actually really common in many cultures


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
404 replies to this topic

#1 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:39 PM

I'm really curious to get an idea of what the general community thinks of cousin marriages. Apart from people who come from cultures where it is normal to do so, most people seem to respond with a big 'ewwww GROSS' when told that people out there actually marry their cousins.

Is it a religious taboo? I know it used to be common in Western cultures not too long ago. Charles Darwin was married to his cousin, as was an Albert Einstein. But now it seems the mentality is 'Why would you marry your cousin?'

FYI it is legal in Australia.

WDYT?

#2 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:40 PM

Do I smell an agenda?






#3 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:41 PM

QUOTE
FYI it is legal in Australia.

Phew.  I have a red hot cuz down Hobart way.



#4 Daddyfied

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:43 PM

Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

#5 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE (Daddyfied @ 30/04/2010, 09:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Does your cousin know you posted this thread...?

wink.gif

roll2.gif

#6 Velociraptor

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

Why do you care if people marry their cousins?

#7 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:50 PM

I wasn't going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though and so didn't grow up together, so the argument of 'its like marrying your brother' really doesn't apply because we meet as adults. It's totally normal in my culture.

The depressing thing is that it is taboo in Australian culture and I have not yet found the courage to share the fact that my fiance is my cousin with my work mates. I've only told one person, and only because he is only minded. I've actually heard a work mate say 'ew' about cousin marriages before so I really just can't break the news. I'm not ashamed of it - I just can't face any bullying, taunting and gossip that might occur as a result.

So I'm just hoping to get an idea of how people feel about this, so I know what I'm in for if people do find out.

FYI all my non-work friends come from cultures where it is okay to marry cousins and think its normal too, so it is really just my work friends and maybe other people I have to deal with down the line that worries me.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM.


#8 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:51 PM

I think if you have to bonk someone or marry someone in your own family or extended family then your just not looking at the bigger scheme of things.

#9 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:52 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin. We live in different countries though

That doesn't make you any less related.



#10 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:53 PM

QUOTE
I was going to say this, but I'm actually engaged to my cousin


Is he your first cuz?

Not that it matters but yeah I find that more repulsive then a 2nd or 3rd cuz. I have lots of male cuz doesn't mean I'm gonna get in to a relationship with them. Ick!

It's like a extended version if incest. I mean OP don't you get out so you can meet people NOT RELATED TO YOU?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:54 PM.


#11 Roobear

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:55 PM

blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


#12 **BOOM**

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

roll2.gif

Um, because you live in different countries makes you no less cousins. You are still genetically linked & blood related. I think living in different countries is the least of you problems.


#13 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:57 PM

Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.

Lady_muck - yes we are first cousins.

A bit of a disclaimer, I'm not here to be told my kids will be disabled. I know the risks (they aren't as severe as people seem to assume), and I've made an educated choice.

#14 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM

Good grief! Are you a troll?

Edited by Lady_Muck, 30 April 2010 - 09:58 PM.


#15 samanthan

Posted 30 April 2010 - 09:59 PM

I don't have an issue with and yes it isn't illegal. The only problem that may arise with consanguinity is with children and the higher possibility of genetic defects. I'm not sure if you can have genetic testing for this kind of issue before you have children but I would look into it if I were you.
As for workmates etc...why tell them? It's not really any of their business or even relevant to your work. I guess depending on your background they might work it out if you're from a culture that tends towards arranged marriages but again it's nothing to do with them.

Just read that you don't want to hear about the kids thing, sorry I was typing when you posted. It's the first think I think of because I work in an area where I see this kind of issue a bit. I do agree though that it's rare.

Edited by samanthan, 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM.


#16 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#17 blueteddy

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE (~peeka~ @ 30/04/2010, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
blueteddy- why is it neccesary for you to reveal that your fiance is your cousin? Isn't he just your fiance?
I find it weird that you would say - this is xxxx my fiance and btw he is my cousin too.


One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Lady_muck - meeting someone half way across the planet is no getting out enough for you? No, I'm not a troll. My God, that is so offensive. Do a google search - the world doesn't begin and end with the Australian shore.

Renoir - it makes things different to me from a social perspective. Yes the blood relationship is the same, but many other things aren't. Anyway, that has been my experience and you don't have to agree with that. It might be different to others, which is fine, but I really don't want this to be the focus of the discussion.

Edited by blueteddy, 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM.


#18 TEN!

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

I don't see anything wrong with it, and I really don't understand why anyone would.  Its not true it results in MORE birth defects.  Only where there is a genetic problem in the family already.  Tay Sachs families for example.

Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.  Its not forbidden in any of the major judeo-christian religions (which includes Islam).  People need to get over it.  Its not incest.

And before anyone asks, I am not married to a cousin.



#19 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:00 PM

QUOTE
Renoir - my point is that its weird to marry someone you were practically raised with. I could never feel that way about the cousins I was raised with, but with those I wasn't raised with, things are different.


No, they're really not.  



#20 Guest_Padmé Amidala_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

I understand that it's perfectly normal in some cultures but it isn't the social 'norm' in most parts of Australia, and I think that 'Eww.. Gross' is  probably a fairly common reaction to cousin marriages by most Australians.

I must say, the thought of marrying my cousin makes me feel a bit 'eww' also, sorry.

In any case, if it worries you - just don't tell people?

All the best. original.gif


#21 Mrs_Mystery_Guest

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:02 PM

His your cuz love...think about it a while.

#22 Renoir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

QUOTE
One of the first questions I was asked was 'how did you meet'. I didn't lie but I didn't give the whole truth. Some people think we look alike too, and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.
  So how did you meet?

If you met halfway across the world, as you state, why the need to lie?

(Or was it halfway across the world at Grandma's 80th?)



#23 Fenrir

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

This is your mothers/fathers brothers/sisters child. Surely you could look elsewhere for a suitable spouse ? I didn't grow up with my cousin from NZ. In fact I have only ever seen him about 15 times. I sure as sh*t wouldn't marry him because he is too close genetically. He is my mothers sisters child.

I am seriously wondering when the "T" word should be brought up. In this topic I don't think it would be too early would it ?

QUOTE
Queen Victoria was married to a cousin. Prince Phillip is a cousin of the Queen.

The damage was done in that family long before they married their cousins and it was from all the inbreeding.


Edited by SpeckledPotato , 30 April 2010 - 10:07 PM.


#24 Guest_*alpharuby*_*

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:03 PM

Aren't there genetic issues in first cousin marriages? Actually now that I've written it I think I might be wrong. I still think it's wrong and not widely accepted in Australia. One of my flatmates in uni was rooting his cuz. It was just too strange. Mind you they were both from the sticks and thought it completely normal

#25 Delayfish

Posted 30 April 2010 - 10:04 PM

QUOTE (blueteddy @ 30/04/2010, 10:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
and with the magic of facebook, they might find out.

Here's a thought, why not set your Facebook to PRIVATE? Or, just another thought, don't put it on facebook to start with  huh.gif You could even (take a deep breath here OP) close your Facebook account  ohmy.gif You know, if you don't want people knowing every intimate detail about your life.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

We can reduce gender inequality in housework – here’s how

Women shoulder the time-intensive and routine tasks - and they're also more likely to do the least enjoyable tasks like scrubbing the toilets versus washing the car.

Is it okay to reward children with food?

Does giving children food as a reward turn them into emotional eaters?

Exhausted mums share their 'sleepy selfies'

Two photos of mums have shown the world the physical impact of exhaustion in all its frazzled glory.

How to tell a million people: 'We're Having a Baby!'

Pregnancy announcement videos have become so popular they're becoming businesses all their own, with YouTube compilations, Pinterest pages and morning television segments.

The new family holiday: the maternitymoon

It's an idea that makes some people feel excited, while others shudder at the increased difficulty.

Mum's instinct busts hospital protocol

A terrifying car crash that left Danni Bett lying in hospital in a neck-brace wasn't enough to stop her from breastfeeding.

Mum shares pic of Gordon Ramsay's baby doppelganger

A Welsh couple have realised their newborn has a striking resemblance to a certain celebrity chef.

Photographer's charming photos of son's adventures with his toy truck

An adorable toddler and his toy truck in a photo series that'll melt your heart.

Do you hide your emotions from your kids?

I want my children to grow up and know it's okay to feel strong emotion and to display it. Vulnerability and imperfection do not equal weakness.

My in-laws snubbed our wedding

For your own husband's parents not to come to your wedding is an utter embarrassment.

Teenage boy has foetus removed from stomach

A teenage boy has undergone surgery to remove a foetus, complete with hair, legs, hands and genitals, removed from his stomach.

Your one-year-old is more creative than you might think

Even one-year-olds can be very exploratory, experimental and creative.

Researchers claim controlled crying 'does no harm'

The short and long term consequences of controlled crying are under the spotlight with new Australian research suggesting no harm results from the practice.

The pain of teething

If the tooth fairy takes teeth away, it must be something like a goblin who brings them in the first place.

Henry, 3, had a tummy ache. Within hours he was dead

Three-year-old Henry died in February this year, just a few hours after falling ill.

Husband shot obstetrician who saw wife naked

A Saudi man has been arrested after shooting the male obstetrician who delievered his baby because he was unhappy the doctor had seen his wife naked.

This 6-month-old just became 'the youngest water-skier'

First, baby Zyla tried her trick on cushy, beige carpet.

The bedtime bottle: will it really make your baby sleep?

How often have you been told "Just give your breastfed baby a bottle of formula at bedtime to make him sleep"? But does it work?

Why new mum Anne Hathaway cried at the gym

She might be a Hollywood superstar, but the gorgeous Anne Hathaway feels just as self-conscious as other new mums trying to get back in shape after having a baby.

An intimate story of infertility, told from a man's perspective

In a moving 3000-word Facebook post, Dan Majesky has shared a painful journey of infertility, with a big surprise at the end.

Does this photo offend you?

Facebook has come under fire after banning an ad featuring Tess Holliday, a plus-sized model, wearing a bikini.

Baby boy's birth filled with joy and sadness

It was a moment filled with joy but tinged with sadness. 

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.