Jump to content

Men who hate their mothers?
Are they imcapable of loving their wife - WDYT?


  • Please log in to reply
15 replies to this topic

#1 My2BeautifulGirls

Posted 21 April 2010 - 03:34 PM

I was watching a show a while ago (Oprah), on it they had  this man who is apparantely an expert on relationships,  he has a book and gives advice to single women looking for love and meeting men that treat them right, and looking for signs etc that you are with a loser etc.  

In the interview, he said "if you meet a man who hates his mother, run, as he will be imcapable of truly loving his wife".  At the time I was abit shocked as a couple of my friends are married to men who hate their mothers, and they seemed very doting husbands.

What do you think, do you think there is any truth to what he said?  

I cannot judge, as my DH is very close to his mum.

Edited to add, i do not think he meant men you dislike their mothers (i think most men would at least sometimes), i think he meant the men who absolutely hate their mothers.

Edited by My2BeautifulGirls, 21 April 2010 - 03:42 PM.


#2 kittysugarside1

Posted 21 April 2010 - 03:38 PM

My X has very little respect for his mother (thats saying in kindly, he says "he cant ****ing stand her") and he has no respect for women in general.  

I dont think that all men who dislike their mothers would be the same, its to much of a generalisation.  Everyone is different and has different reasons for accepting or not accepting people in their lives.

#3 smarty~pants

Posted 21 April 2010 - 03:45 PM

I 'kind' of agree with this - I've always believed that closeness to family is a fundamental pillar of compatibility ie if you’re close to your family but your partner is not (or  vice versa) then it will definitely drive a wedge between the couple. Along the same lines as moral values and religious beliefs – they need to be in sync.

My DH doesn’t speak to his family all that often but they are close (ie they get along very well – they’re just slack at keeping in touch!). I’m very close to my family and would expect that we both fit in with each others families without the arms length that can sometimes be there with in-laws.


#4 rosie76

Posted 21 April 2010 - 03:49 PM

really depends on the mother I think

#5 Guest_chntlrose_*

Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:00 PM

Would also depend on why they hate their mother?

#6 SCARFACE CLAW

Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:03 PM

.

Edited by SCARFACE CLAW, 11 September 2011 - 01:07 AM.


#7 caramel creme cake

Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:07 PM

I hate my father and love my DH, but they are completely different people. It's certainly possible to hate a parent but love your partner.

#8 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:08 PM

I don't know if it is true or not. It seems a broad, generalised blanket type statement. We always used to say though, if you want to know how your husband will treat you, then watch how he treats his mum. The man who needs his mother to wash his clothes is likely to be looking for a maid with benifits more than a wife.

#9 Guest_The 7 Dwarfs_*

Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:19 PM

I think it depends on the reason why they hate their mother. If they were abused by their mother, then would you really expect them to like her?




#10 Literary Lemur

Posted 21 April 2010 - 04:21 PM

QUOTE
Would also depend on why they hate their mother?


This.

Treating women (including their mother) with disrespect is one thing.  Having a completely normal reaction to a toxic mother is quite another.

#11 Team Awesome

Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:16 PM

My DH despises his mother (and older sister) for her treatment of me so it's for the right reasons IMO he picked the 'right side'.

A have a bad relationship with my toxic parents but that doesn't make me incapable of loving my DH. wink.gif

#12 Apple Blossom

Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:20 PM

I think it is very difficult for a man to understand how to love properly where this is hatred of a mother.  Usually the mother would have been abusive, controlling, etc and that means that they probably not shown appropriate love and so therefore it is difficult for them to express it.

Many rapists hate their mother, and generally men who disrespect women have either seen their father doing so, or have a very unloving relationship with their own mothers.



#13 MinkyMonkey

Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:32 PM

QUOTE (smarty~pants @ 21/04/2010, 03:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I 'kind' of agree with this - I've always believed that closeness to family is a fundamental pillar of compatibility ie if you’re close to your family but your partner is not (or  vice versa) then it will definitely drive a wedge between the couple. Along the same lines as moral values and religious beliefs – they need to be in sync.


I agree with this. While DH doesn't hate his mum he doesn't have much tolerance for her and neither does FIL. Their family is not close at all and it has been a very big learning curve for DH (and myself) as to how a family acts together.  He never understood doing things together as a family.

#14 BlokesWorld

Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:49 PM

QUOTE
Usually the mother would have been abusive, controlling, etc and that means that they probably not shown appropriate love and so therefore it is difficult for them to express it.
As someone who has an intense dislike (I don't hate anyone) of my mother due to similar to the above, I agree that I'm not good at expressing love or being romantic.  But that is a far cry from not being loving.  I'm simply more likely to express it by buying an expensive gift than cooking a candlelit meal.  Luckily my DW knows and understands me.

Funnily enough, I adore my kids - not just love, but adore.  I think when you have a crap parent, you tend to either be the same as them or polar opposites.

#15 Apple Blossom

Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:53 PM

QUOTE (BlokesWorld @ 21/04/2010, 05:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
As someone who has an intense dislike (I don't hate anyone) of my mother due to similar to the above, I agree that I'm not good at expressing love or being romantic.  But that is a far cry from not being loving.  I'm simply more likely to express it by buying an expensive gift than cooking a candlelit meal.  Luckily my DW knows and understands me.

Funnily enough, I adore my kids - not just love, but adore.  I think when you have a crap parent, you tend to either be the same as them or polar opposites.


Yes but if your mother was a loving caring generous woman who showed you respect, I doubt you would immensely dislike her, right?

Anyway, we are talking about hate - a very strong emotion.  Hatred comes from rage and intense pain. You don't have intense pain and rage if you had a very loving and gentle mother generally.  And in living with such an influence, you are usually so disconnected from your emotions because of the pain, that you have a hard time opening up and being genuinely affectionate with anyone else.  Some people never get to the point of being openly loving. Some do.

My DH adored his mother, but didn't really like how she lived.  Completely different thing.




#16 Pull Up A Beanbag

Posted 21 April 2010 - 05:58 PM

Depends if they hate her because she's a woman, or because she did something dreadful to him.


Or, if she did something dreadful, he then applies that to All women.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Why we tend to hold our babies on our left side

On which side of your body do you carry or cradle your baby? If you answered "left" then you're not alone.

Taking fish oil in pregnancy may prevent childhood asthma

Women who took omega-3 fatty acid supplements (fish oil supplements) in pregnancy reduced the risk of their children developing asthma by almost one third.

Mum, dad and son all share a birthday

Luke and Hillary Gardner never have a problem remembering each other's birthday.

Mum shares the bittersweet truth about pregnancy after miscarriage

A mother's candid and heartfelt reflections about pregnancy after miscarriage are providing comfort to other women.

16 simple ways to make your baby smarter

What's the best way to mentally stimulate your baby? It doesn't take a genius - just a loving, involved parent.

Your blood pressure could predict baby's sex even before conception

The average blood pressure of mother could suggest a baby's sex before it even exists, a study has found.

The breastfeeding photo that says it all

Ashley Rockill was lucky enough to have her birth photographer on hand to capture a precious moment.

13 pregnancy superstitions from across the globe

In honour of Black Friday, let's explore 13 of the strangest pregnancy superstitions from across the globe.

I'm a stay-at-home mum, and I'm sending my son to daycare

When you become a mum you give birth to a beautiful baby, but you also give birth to guilt.

Mum gives birth to 'Incredible Hulk' 6.4kg baby

An American mother was shocked when she gave to a 6.4kg (14lb 1oz) baby last month.

Mum demands $530 for daughter's shoes after playdate

A mum has made a pretty bold move by demanding $532 for a pair of her daughter's shoes that were damaged at another family's house. 

A toddler's guide to helping around the house

If a toddler was to write a guide to 'help' you with the household chores, it would go something like this.

The breast pump you can use on the go

The game-changing breast pump promises to make life easier all round.

'Mum, don't be mad but I've just had a baby'

A teen mum has shared her birth story – and her shock at not knowing she was pregnant until her baby's head emerged.

No, Senator, childcare workers don't just wipe noses and stop fights

The only thing childcare workers spend their time doing is "wiping noses and stopping the kids from killing each other"? Not quite.

'I wanted to be the birth mum so much'

When people say "aren't you lucky that there are two of you, that you can switch?" I give them a tight smile.

6 myths about breastfeeding toddlers

Although breastfeeding a toddler isn't for everybody, if you choose to nurse beyond babyhood you can expect some strong reactions.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Your child's fine motor skills: what you should know

There is less of a focus on fine motor skills, but they're just as important as others. (SPONSORED)

5 ways music helps your toddler's development

There are at least five other compelling reasons to get musical around your toddler. (SPONSORED)

 

Baby Names

Unusual Celeb Baby Names

Click through the gallery to read the details and see some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.