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Breastfeeding in disabled toilet
(longish, and mentions boobs often)


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347 replies to this topic

#51 Velociraptor

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:39 PM

I don't think giving you a grilling over using a disabled loo is constructive, but I don't think it's an ideal place to feed - it's not particularly hygenic in toilet blocks (people wipe their bum, touch the seats, doors, handles etc - transferring bacteria to your hands and potentially to baby), and in busy areas with only one disabled toilet chances are someone is going to need to use it.

I think you should work on overcoming your fear of feeding in public. It is not something you need to hide, and if you feel up to it, it mght help to try giving a few feeds in areas where you're not exposed to lots of people (beach, park etc). Another good alternative is to tie together two corners of a large muslin wrap or cot sheet, as these can be slipped over your head and bub as you feed, and are wide and loose enough to easily look under.

#52 essentiallyme

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:40 PM

QUOTE
Embarrassing as it may be, having big boobs is not a disability

You can get medicare to pay for your breast reduction if the doctor deems it the cause of back pain.
So for some women it could be classified as disabling. My cousin had her breasts reduced because her height had shrunk and she was in chronic pain for years.




#53 Theophobic

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:48 PM

Having a sore back from breasts is no where near the league of wheelchair bound, **** me, dose of reality needed much or what? For the record I also have large breasts.

Yes, you were in the wrong OP. I can't imagine what it would be like to be wheelchair bound and soil myself in public. The fact that you didn't even reply to the knock and say Hi who is it? Do you need to use this particular toilet or something similar is cowardly.

Edited by Theophobic, 10 February 2010 - 05:52 PM.


#54 kissy10

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:54 PM

Personally I would have gone back to Hardy Normal & fed in front of the helpful sales assistant whilst your 3 YO posed an OHS risk by impersonating Linda Blair in the Exorcist........

#55 lindasjc

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:02 PM

Disabled toilets are for disabled people. Some old people simply can't hold their bladder. You could have caused humiliation to some elderly or disabled person. Next time find somewhere more suitable. Sorry, don't meant to sound harsh, but when you are the parent of a disbled person you have a different attitude.



#56 Neen

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:02 PM

QUOTE (essentiallyme @ 10/02/2010, 06:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You can get medicare to pay for your breast reduction if the doctor deems it the cause of back pain.
So for some women it could be classified as disabling.


Was just about to say this.

For me, couldn't feed in a toilet - I probably would have parked in some shade and left the aircon on.

But I do understand the big boobs and feeding in public thing... not everyone is comfortable with people gawking at their boobs and it is awkward.

As for using a sling to feed... if only...

#57 jojonbeanie

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE
WDYT? Is it really selfish to use the only disabled loo for the rather long time it takes to feed my baby? Should I just get over my getting my boobs out in public phobia?
Yes, you are exceedingly selfish. You have a whole range of choices about how and where to feed your child, whereas someone with a significant disability may have no choices at all about their toileting requirements. Disabled toilets are usually not just bigger, they have equipment and design features specifically to enable use by persons with disabilities. If you have not noticed these then you are really lucky - you obviously didn't need those special features. Thank your lucky stars you didn’t need the wider doorway for wheelchair access, nor the turning space and toilet suite placement required to actually back your wheelchair up to the pan. Be grateful you do not need the handrail next to the toilet to lower yourself onto the seat and then hoist yourself back up again. Be please you can reach a standard sink and tap fittings and therefore didn't actually need the lowered sink with the knee room underneath for your wheelchair. Smile to yourself that you were able to use the relocated hand dryer. Rejoice that you can reach and use a standard door handle and that you would have been able to let yourself out without the lowered door fittings. Celebrate that you did not need to use the signage in Braille to actually make sure you were about to enter a toilet not a broom cupboard.

Get over yourself, start thinking of others, act like a reasonable adult and grow up.

And for what it's worth, yes I did find breastfeeding in public with my F cups a darn sight less demeaning for everyone than scraping up the sh*t oozing onto my child's wheelchair because there was no place to change him.

QUOTE
You can get medicare to pay for your breast reduction if the doctor deems it the cause of back pain.
So for some women it could be classified as disabling.
You can get a Medicare rebate for treatment of haemorrhoids - that doesn't make you disabled. Being clueless is more of a disability.

Edited by jojonbeanie, 10 February 2010 - 06:05 PM.


#58 SusieGreen

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:05 PM

Yesterday, and now today, and I'm thinking you are having a lend of us OP?

Noone is that oblivious, surely?

If not, then I hate to break it to you but life just isn't all about YOU  tongue.gif



#59 JAPN

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:06 PM

QUOTE
Personally I would have gone back to Hardy Normal & fed in front  of the helpful sales assistant whilst your 3 YO posed an OHS risk by  impersonating Linda Blair in the Exorcist........


yes, yes!!

#60 Bam1

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:06 PM

Completely agree with Theophobic, astounded that anyone could think holding up the disabled toilet for a length of time for any non-disabled reason is appropriate. I am as pro breastfeeding as they come but there is always an alternative.

#61 Theophobic

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:09 PM

QUOTE
You can get a Medicare rebate for treatment of haemorrhoids - that doesn't make you disabled. Being clueless is more of a disability.


Could not agree more, as always you've nailed it as only someone who really understands can. I hope people start reading your posts and opening their damn minds one day.

#62 Waltzing

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:09 PM

Thanks for the replies.  Criticism included  original.gif

So sorry for the confusion getbacktobed, yes I have a DD whos 3 and a new baby DS. Also I have no brain ATM

It's is tricky breastfeeding, I know everyone says it's so portable and conveniant, but I can honestly say with my boobs it's just not. sad.gif  The PPs story about the woman at the foodcourt with her boobs on the table...yep.  And I'm not one of these uninhibited gals who doesn't care, I am very self-conscious.

Today we were in a restaurant in the CBD (my DH and his new employer were having a business lunch and I met them in there as he wanted to meet me, probably to make sure DH is a nice family man with responsibilities blah-de-blah) and the whole place was suits.  All the women were in business suits, there was not a child in sight except mine.  I was wearing one of the only nice dresses that I own that still fit me, and I just wasn't going to get my boobs out at the table.  I don't care if it's perfectly legal and all, you can't tell me those business people wouldn't have  ohmy.gif . Think really big boobs to start with then think early breastfeeding engorgement. 

So my options were to go outside to the hot street, which was mentally busy as it was lunch hour, or go to the normal toilets (except I had to take DD 3 with me as DH couldn't mind her and talk business with his future boss at the same time), or the disabled toilet.  I do feel bad about sitting in there to feed while someone knocked, so I understand all the replies.  TBH I feel disabled some days negotiating life with these 2 kids. I know I'm NOT disabled, but with baby crying, my boobs leaking and having to be 'the perfect wife' to impress DHs boss it was a relief to get in there and feed him in peace.  I do feel bad to whoever knocked. 

Thankyou also to girls with big breasts who sympathized  original.gif



#63 2heand1she

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:15 PM

Just curious, those of you who feel the op was selfish, what do disabled people do if there is a legitimately disabled person already in the toilet and they have to wait their turn?

Not trying to be smart, but seriously, surely they don't expect that there will always be one available just when they need it? (I had to use these toilets some years back and I had to wait my turn on more than one occasion).

#64 jojonbeanie

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:16 PM

Waltzing you need to start to understand the very basic difference between "I don't like to do this" and "It is physically impossible for me to achieve this".

Edited by jojonbeanie, 10 February 2010 - 06:17 PM.


#65 kay&tezza

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:17 PM

On a slight tangent however bear with me:

I was at the shops a couple of weeks ago, line up outside the disabled toilets (one centre worker, elderly lady then me), the womens toilets were closed for cleaning.  While we were waiting several people saw the line and walked off.  Whilst the first user of toilet was in there (an elderly lady with a walker), another cleaner went into the cleaning cupboard beside toilet and said to us in the line to use the designated parents room - as there were a couple of toilets in there.  I didnt want to go in there as they are for parents with babies with change area (saw when door opened) and I am glad I didnt as there were several parents and babies come and go.  If we had gone in there (the three of us in line) we would have held up the parents.  I was busting to go, but I didn't want to be in the situation in the future when I need the parents room it is full of people who can wait.

The point of the above is that I am trying to get across that I had consideration of others, no matter how much my bladder needed emptying.

I do understand the OP to a point however the idea of EBM is something I will consider in the future as DH asked me today (while we were at the (same) centre) if I would feel comfotable BF in the food court.  As I have never BF I only could answer I am not sure, I hope so though.

#66 Julie3Girls

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:17 PM

If the disabled toilet has a change table, yes, it is obviously intended for use as a CHANGE room. Changing a baby is quick and isn't going to occupy the space for long.
Occupying the disabled toilet for the time it takes to breastfeed is selfish.
And not answering is just rude. Not only were you occupying it, but not letting the person outside the door know that you would be a while. If I found a toilet occupied, I'd ASSUME they would be out in a reasonable time and would probably wait.

You might find it embarassing to breastfeed in public, well, I'm sure a disabled person would find it embarassing if they couldn't get into the toilet and had an accident in public.

You need to put your phobia behind you on the occasions when you don't have access to privacy of a parenting room. If you know you are going to be somewhere that doesn't have change facilities, get into the habit of expressing and feed that way.

#67 Ducky*Fuzz

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:18 PM

People with disabilities often have more problems controlling bladder and bowels.  They also need a place with a lot of room to manouver.  I think you were wrong.  Using the bathroom with young children quickly is one thing.  Feeding for 10 minutes is another.

I think you need to find another shopping centre which has the facilities you need, speak to someone about getting over your phobia or only shop immediately after the baby has been fed.  You are in control of these things.  Many people with disabilities do not have that control.

#68 Theophobic

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:18 PM

QUOTE
So my options were to go outside to the hot street, which was mentally busy as it was lunch hour, or go to the normal toilets (except I had to take DD 3 with me as DH couldn't mind her and talk business with his future boss at the same time), or the disabled toilet.  I do feel bad about sitting in there to feed while someone knocked, so I understand all the replies.  TBH I feel disabled some days negotiating life with these 2 kids. I know I'm NOT disabled, but with baby crying, my boobs leaking and having to be 'the perfect wife' to impress DHs boss it was a relief to get in there and feed him in peace.  I do feel bad to whoever knocked.


Tell me you did not just compare having small children to being disabled. You could have walked out and fed in your car or the street. Having the ability to walk and all. The list of complaints you've put there to reason your actions are shallow and thoughtless at best.  nno.gif

#69 **Katie**

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:20 PM

its great that we can fight for (and general receive) the right to breastfeed in any public space...

but I think it is ridiculous for people to come on here and tell the OP how to feel -  "just feed in public" "I fed in public" and other such insensitive comments are just another version of "Do what I tell you, obey my whim and opinion" Anyone who just tells the OP to get over her sensitivity is no better than someone who tells you to move out of the food court and feed somewhere else Surely the whole point is that the individual woman has choice, not that every woman obeys the current majority opinion

As for the disabled toilet, if there were no other facilities that is disgraceful - if there was a disabled person inconvenienced then the fault lies with management for providing inadequate facilities not with some poor mum who has nowhere else to feed her baby.



#70 Bam1

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:22 PM

There is always an excuse if you want there to be one. Your post can be as long as the day but there are always alternatives to doing the wrong thing and maybe you will also find you have less conversations where you feel it is polite to shout at someone trying to help you.

#71 Velociraptor

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:23 PM

OP I sympathise with the general struggle of kidwrangling - DH is away on a 6+ month deployment and left soon after my second child's birth. Going anywhere is not easy for me, but I imagine being disabled or having a disabled child is a bloody lot harder. A few years back I had a bad foot injury and was on crutches for a couple of months and still wouldn't have considered myself disabled or felt entitled to use a disabled toilet because nothing prevented me from going in a regular toilet.  blink.gif  at those who seem to be suggesting large breasts are a disability warranting use of a toilet designed for someone unable to use or access a standard loo.

ETA and I think putting change stations in disabled toilets is bloody well stupid and inconsiderate anyway. They can't cost that much - installing one in both the male and female toilets would be a better option IMO, so you don't have a constant stream of people taking up disabled toilets to change their babies.

Edited by Styxosaurus, 10 February 2010 - 06:33 PM.


#72 jojonbeanie

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:24 PM

QUOTE
Just curious, those of you who feel the op was selfish, what do disabled people do if there is a legitimately disabled person already in the toilet and they have to wait their turn?
Unfortunately they have to wait and risk the results of an accident. However the wait for someone using the toilet usually far less than the wait for someone who is breastfeeding and toileting another child. Of course the risk of having to wait is greatly reduced if the toilets only get used by people with legitimate needs rather than any pain in the butt would thinks they are more important than everyone else, likes a bit more space or can't control their child.

Edited by jojonbeanie, 10 February 2010 - 06:25 PM.


#73 tick

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:24 PM

Going against the grain here but I think it's ok.  OBVIOUSLY not ideal for anyone involved but I've done it before and I'll do it again if I have to.... not because I'm embarassed about public breastfeeding but because my baby just WILL NOT FEED if there is another living soul or any unusual/loud noise within a 10m radius.  She won't take a bottle.  Even when it's dark and quiet she pulls off to have a look around several times during a feed and milk sprays all over the place.  It's an ordeal.  I always plan to be back home before the next feed but sometimes things don't go according to plan and if there's no mother's room then the disabled toilet is probably my only option.  

If someone knocked on the door I'd probably yell out "hang on a minute I'll be right out" and do my best to get out quickly.

As an aside, I've had to deal with monsterous poo-splosions in disabled toilet change rooms before.  They take a darn lot longer to clean up than a quick breastfeed, and that's technically "legitimate" use of the toilet.  If someone knocked then I'd be unable to immediately vacate.

Oh and when I used to work at a big shopping centre I'd often see drunken teenaged girls or whacked out junkies emerge from disabled toilets, having spent god- knows how long in there doing god-knows what.... far worse IMO.

#74 Prizzy

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:24 PM

Try not to be ashamed of breastfeeding. Believe me, its a very rare individual who will look at you scornfully while you're doing it.
I understand that you feel uncomfortable, but I wouldn't feed in the loo in a pink fit.
Maybe invest in some breastfeeding friendly tops for when you're out and about. And have a look at the ABA website - they have lists of breastfeeding friendly venues where you may feel more comfortable.

#75 Hodor55

Posted 10 February 2010 - 06:27 PM

QUOTE (cajay @ 10/02/2010, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yesterday, and now today, and I'm thinking you are having a lend of us OP?

Noone is that oblivious, surely?


Waltzing really IS that oblivious LOL.  

FFS Waltzing, either stop posting on EB until your kids are perfect or until you are.  All this honesty is just going to backfire on you here.

(I have BF in disabled toilets before, usually because my baby was easily distracted and just wouldn't feed in a busy or noisy place.  No one ever knocked, but sometimes I was in there for a while.  Oh and I've also had women approach me while I was feeding and suggest I go to the disabled toilet to feed!  So I guess you just can't win sometimes can you)





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