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Breastfeeding in disabled toilet
(longish, and mentions boobs often)


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347 replies to this topic

#26 ginger72

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:56 PM

Just think about it from the disabled person's point of view - what were they meant to do?  How mortifying for them if they couldn't get to another disabled bathroom quickly enough.  Personally I'd be concerned about the germ factor feeding in a toilet anyhow.  I've got F cups and I'm self-conscious too but I'll get them out anywhere if I've got a hungry baby and nowhere private to feed.  I find that much more acceptable than depriving a disabled person of the chance to go to the loo.

#27 Turn left

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:56 PM

QUOTE
Absolutely you should not have been in there


Some disabled people require to use the disabled toilets urgently.  You have no right to use it, even for a second if you are not disabled.  I think its plain rude and inconsiderate.  

You have a right to breastfeed anywhere you choose, a disabled person can't just go to the toilet anywhere, they require the disabled facility.  I think you need to get over your boob touching in public issue, or you need to go to places where you know have the appropriate facilities.  Would you eat in a toilet?  Why do you expect your baby to do that?

Edited by voice-of-reason, 10 February 2010 - 05:02 PM.


#28 Guest_cathode_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:56 PM

Another one here whose boobs totally dwarf babies heads. My 4yr old can wear one of my bra cups on his head as a hat - as in it covers his head like a beanie blush.gif
Discretion was very hard as I had to have one arm under baby and one hand holding back the majority of my boob from suffocating baby. So, yeah, all those shawls are pretty much out. Never found a BF top that fit me well either.

When I went out, I used to do a big feed before going out and get home before next feed, or I would take a bottle of EBM or formula with me for extended trips.

I couldn't feed in a toilet full stop. I'd rather show off the boobs than do that. I'd rather not do either if I could help it. But that is just me.

#29 2heand1she

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:01 PM

QUOTE
What are they meant to do? Cross their legs & wait?


Yes, presumably the same thing they have to do if the toilet is occupied by someone else in a wheelchair or otherwise disabled.  

Some of these disabled toilets are also fitted out as a change room, don't forget.

#30 wilkosbaby

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:02 PM

She didn't know IF it was a disabled person we are just guessing.  Don't be rude.
I think this is a bad predicament and whilst not ideal, was the best situation for the OP given the circumstance.
I probably would have called out to see if it was an urgent situation though.

Next time, perhaps Miss 3 could be strapped into her stroller and OP could feed in the regular toilet cubicle with door open watching miss 3. I have done this and it's not great, but if you use the last cubicle it's pretty private - just pull the stroller into the doorway.



#31 Dionysus

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:05 PM

Hi OP,

obviously not the best situation you got yourself into there, but I do 'feel your pain'.  

A combination of 'F' boobs and a bub with head circ in the 3 percentile range demanded discreet b/feeding locations.

I don't think you were in the wrong.

And legally, as I understand it, anyone can use the 'disabled' cubicle.  It is simply a larger size cubicle, suitable, but not exclusively, for wheelchairs.  Same as a cubicle with a sanitary bin is suitable, but not exclusively, for ladies with their period.  

Not right, perhaps, but sometimes you are left with little choice.

#32 *soy-latte*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:05 PM

QUOTE
I feel for your predicament, but disabled toilets are for the use of people with a disability, not for any random who needs a bit of privacy. Next time you should find a suitable alternative.

Exactly this...

#33 OzeMum

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:06 PM

QUOTE
Is it really selfish to use the only disabled loo for the rather long time it takes to feed my baby?


YES


QUOTE
Should I just get over my getting my boobs out in public phobia?

YES

QUOTE

Like i was told, parents with pram parking spots, disabled parking spots, and disabled toilets are for your use and the shopping centre cant control who uses them.


So becoming a parent means you can use disabled parking spots?  Did you get a parking permit in your Bounty Bag?  Seriously, now I've heard it all.  rant.gif

Edited by OzeMum, 10 February 2010 - 05:07 PM.


#34 LivingRoom

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:06 PM

As someone who is an 18G, it's not "that" hard to feed discreetly. I use to wear when I went out a button shirt, open over a singlet. This way I could pull up a bit of the single to feed baby and the open shirt would hide unsightly rolls from sight. You don't need to have your whole boob out to feed.

#35 butterflies

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:09 PM

QUOTE
Embarrassing as it may be, having big boobs is not a disability



I think it is, I go to the chiro because of my big chest, the tension also in my neck from carrying the twins aorund is awful.


OP I wouldn't have fed in a toilet because I don't think I would like to eat in a toilet IYKWIM.  But with your issues mentioned I think you were in your right to feed your baby in a private place, be it in a toilet or not.

Is it a shopping centre and they don't have feeding rooms? if so I would writing a letter of complaint.

I used to wear two layers (because none of those fancy tops fitter big gazongers) a stretchy singlet that could be put under your breast and a top that could be lifted up.

Good luck getting over your phobia.








#36 jfl

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE
She didn't know IF it was a disabled person we are just guessing. Don't be rude.
I think this is a bad predicament and whilst not ideal, was the best situation for the OP given the circumstance.
I probably would have called out to see if it was an urgent situation though.


Wow!

So, it's OK to not respond to someone knocking on the door of a toilet for pwd because the person might not have a disability?  Or, if you do respond, it's by shouting "Is it urgent?  Do you need to do number 2s or 3s?" like they are a toddler in your home?

The lack of respect and understanding of the dignity and needs of people with disabilties in this thread is staggering.  As a PP said - you have options.  They don't.

#37 MotherClucker

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:12 PM

So your breast embarrassment trumps some poor disabled persons embarrassment after they wet/defecate in their pants? They are boobs. We all have them. What is the big deal? Maybe look at alternative feeding methods while you are out if it is such a problem for you.

#38 Hodor55

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:13 PM

QUOTE (Waltzing @ 10/02/2010, 05:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(I used to feed DD in a normal size loo when she was a baby, but now with her 3 year old self to contend with it's impossible to fit her, me, baby and both my boobs into those little cubicles.


Both your boobs?  So does that one you could fit one in?  LOL

Seriously Waltzing you are a menace to the general public.  First with the tantrumming 3 year old, now with the taking over disabled toilets because of your boob size.  Please do everyone a favour and stay home until both DD and DS go to school.  

(If I'm tetchy it's because your constant reference to your buxom figure is making me and my barely B Cups jealous)

#39 Mel1609

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:14 PM

PP's - I don't think her baby ate off the toilet bowl. I doubt her baby touched anything but his mum the whole time.

It was a one off, people, relax. It's not as if she's a serial offender ! OP, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It wasn't an ideal scenario all round, so don't sweat it. However I would def look at trying to move on with your phobia, you'll just be a happier and more relaxed feeder and hopefully won't have this dilemma again.

#40 tickledpink72

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:16 PM

Sorry, the mere thought of feeding a baby in a toilet makes my stomach turn.

If you really have issued with BF in public, maybe take a bottle of EBM when you go out?  You have no right to use a disabled toilet to the exclusion of someone who genuinely needs it.

#41 RosieTea

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:17 PM

baby has a right to feed would i do it in a toilet, hell no, i would not eat there so why a baby..yes i think you were selfish to both bub and person potentionally disabled needing a toilet.

i am a 20e and get them outloud and proud

typing one handed whilst b.f so no capitals

#42 Mpjp is feral

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:18 PM

I'm not sure of the answer to this one. If it were a legitimately disabled person...waiting 10-20 mins to go to the toilet is completely unreasonable.

But having said that maybe we dont understand the proportions of your boobs! I once saw a lady in a shopping centre with extremely large breasts - the largest I have ever seen and she was breastfeeding her babe in the foodcourt, by laying babe on the table and resting her boob on the table. It's hard to explain but her boobs were so big I could see no other way she could do this. There is no way this lady could have used a breastfeeding thing, or muslin or whatever to cover herself. It would have had to have been a bed sheet. Now all power to her she didn't seem to give two hoots about the stir she was causing (and she definitely was causing a huge stir), but I - who generally had no problem feeding in public, well....this would have stretched me...rightly or wrongly. So I understand your need to find some privacy.

#43 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:20 PM

OP- I know how hard it is to BF with big boobs. I don't think people with nice portable size boobs realise just how hard it can be. It is really hard to be discreet when you have big boobs. I could never feed DD2 in public because it was so difficult to get attachment and cover up. I had to feed in the football hold (pillow under the arm) and have something rolled up under my boobs to lift them up.

QUOTE
Next time you should find a suitable alternative.
The OP said there were no other suitable alternatives. What else could she do?

QUOTE
A friend of mine feeds while her baby is in a sling. You can not see anything, it just looks like she is cuddling her. Have you tried that?
BFing in a sling when you have big boobs is really hard. I was never able to do it myself.

As PC's have pointed out, disable toilets are often the baby change room as well. So how do you work out who has more need in that situation?

OP- I think it's terrible that the only place you could BF your baby was in the toilet. I think you did the only thing you could do in that situation and you have every right to use the DS toilet.

Edited by Princess.cranky.pants, 10 February 2010 - 05:22 PM.


#44 Guest_BBlessed_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE
"Is it urgent? Do you need to do number 2s or 3s?"

What on earth is a Number 3??
#s 1 and 2 I know ... but needing to do a #3 is a new one for me!

#45 Wut??

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:22 PM

OK, I misread your first post.  She's not 3.

If it were me, if someone was knocking at the door, I'd have vacated.  

QUOTE
She didn't know IF it was a disabled person we are just guessing.
I'm gonna take a wild guess here, and say that it probably was a disabled person.

I don't think you should have been in there for so long in the first place.  But I think that to ignore the person outside by not even calling out, is worse.

I've used disabled toilets on a handfull of occasions, to use the loo while I've got my 3 in tow, or when I've had the twins in their pram when they were little.  I concede that some probably think that's wrong.  But I think there is a big difference between a quick wee, and the time it takes to breastfeed a child.

#46 Mpjp is feral

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:22 PM

I might add that I also used teh disabled toilet if there is no toilet in a mothers room. With three kids and one in a pram I refuse to go to the toilet and leave my baby in the pram unattended outside the toilet door. Call me paranoid....but I think it is not a sensible thing to do. And I may have a phobia about going to teh toilet with the door open...and it is not one I am going to overcome anytime soon.

BUT I will qualify this by saying my toilet stops are usually 1 minute (less with all kids....it's known as the power wee in our house), not 10-20mins.

But I HAVE been 'told off' for doing this several times in my parenting career!

#47 *valencia*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:27 PM

Well I disagree with most posters.

I was at the museum a few years ago and when I asked where was a good place to feed, the management said the disabled toilet.  I thought it was a bit yuk, but I believe they are dual purpose for mums IF no baby change room is provided in a venue.  Sometimes they have a double sign on the door baby change/disabled toilet?

So I think the selfishness was not so much you and your baby satisfying the need for him to be fed, but was the venue not providing adequate facilities for breastfeeding.

And for those saying "go somewhere else" what about if it was a restaurant or museum or somewhere where breastfeeding is frowned on?  She has big breats and attachment problems, is she really meant to sit in a "posh" place and fiddle around with that while some people are probably thinking "go into the toilet and do that".  No wonder no-one breastfeeds any more, theres no where to do it



#48 catmeow82

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:30 PM

can i ask how big these boobies are?

i'm currently a F cup and couldn't care less about breastfeeding in public. if possible i would sit at the back of a cafe but even today that wasn't possible so i just got on with it.

i don't do shawels. i have to hold the breast tissue back so ds doesn't suffocate. i wear long loose tops so i don't show my flabby belly.

i would never feed in a loo.

but thats just me.

bheeler - in that case i'd sit on a museum bench in front of a nice piece of art and soak it up while feeding. i couldn';t care less what people think. i had a cleaner once ask me to go to the toilets and i said no... called up centre management when i got home and made a complaint.

Edited by catmeow82, 10 February 2010 - 05:33 PM.


#49 Guest_cathode_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:30 PM

QUOTE (Mel1609 @ 10/02/2010, 03:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
PP's - I don't think her baby ate off the toilet bowl. I doubt her baby touched anything but his mum the whole time.

And what did mum touch in there? did she touch the seat to put lid down and then touch her breast without washing her hands? (not saying you did that OP, but some people do).
Also, "If you flush with the lid up, a polluted plume of bacteria and water vapour erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl. The polluted water particles float for a few hours around your bathroom before they all land. Some of them will land on your tooth brush." SOURCE

Most toilets in restaurants and cafes keep their doors shut right? (see reasons why I also change my kids in the back of my car or the pram as opposed to using public change areas ... particularly ones right next to a toilet.)

But hey, to each their own.

#50 Fifi LaRue

Posted 10 February 2010 - 05:39 PM

I think using the toilet feed for 10+ minutes is not acceptable.  The FACT is you DID have other options, you may not have liked those options, but you did have others.  The person with a disability has no other options.  Waiting a min or two for someone else (reguardless of a disability or not) to go to the toilet is one thing, but not to have it held up for 10 minutes or more.  What if the person had of had a cathatar or a stoma or a colostmy bag?  Or had continence issues?  How humiliting for that person, it could also cause issues if the person had a cathatar/stoma/colostmy bag.

I understand your prediciment, I really do, I have very large boobs as well, and feeding in public was difficult, but it wasn't impossible, and I would never have feed in a disabled toilet reguardless of if it was a dual purpose one or not.  Dual purpose is disabled toliet OR nappy changing NOT feeding.

I don't want to be harsh, and I don't think your a bad person OP, but this isn't acceptable.  Yes, it's only once now, but if you say oh it's ok for an emergancy, it starts a slippery slope, IMO.  If the shops don't have appropriate feeding facilities then lobby to get some, or go to shops that offer them.




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