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Breastfeeding in disabled toilet
(longish, and mentions boobs often)


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347 replies to this topic

#1 Waltzing

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:36 PM

Ok well first I want to say that I don't mind breastfeeding in public toilets. Because my boobs are so big I can't feed discretely in public. I know you better-proportioned ladies manage, but DSs tiny head and my boobs bring to mind an asteroid floating beneath enormous twin planets. In fact at first glance you might not even notice a baby was there. You might just wonder why does that woman have her huge boobs out, and how does she even stand up without falling over? huh.gif

It's also takes some juggling to get him on properly, and then constant monitoring to ensure that he doesn't suffocate without me realizing original.gif . So I can't just chuck a shawl over the whole thing and hope he survives. Which is tricky as I have a phobia about handling my naked breasts around strangers.  
Anyhoo, today we were out somewhere a bit posh, and there were no baby change rooms so we went into the (only) disabled loo.  
(I used to feed DD in a normal size loo when she was a baby, but now with her 3 year old self to contend with it's impossible to fit her, me, baby and both my boobs into those little cubicles.  Not to mention that she crawls out under the door and annoys old ladies washing their hands by saying 'You shouldn't put your hands in water they get wrinkly...ooh LOOK see')

While we were in there, someone (I presume an actual disabled person) knocked repeatedly. There was no way at that stage I could get DS to de-latch without pain for me, him screeeching, and my boobs spurting milk all over the disabled loo. Also there was no where else private I could feed him.  (Sometimes I feed in the car, but it was like a billion degrees out there today)  So I ignored knocking, finished feeding DS (which took over 10 minutes ohmy.gif ) and rather guiltily snuck out, checking the coast was clear in case I was accosted by a very p*ssed-off legitimately disabled person dying to use the toilet.

WDYT?  Is it really selfish to use the only disabled loo for the rather long time it takes to feed my baby?  Should I just get over my getting my boobs out in public phobia?  How do other large breasted women manage to be discrete, or do you just not care? All advice and criticism welcomed original.gif

#2 Wut??

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:38 PM

oops can't read, nor comprehend.

Edited by getbacktobed, 10 February 2010 - 05:30 PM.


#3 slummymummy

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:39 PM

There were no baby change rooms, so no you did not do anything wrong. You are entitled to privacy.

#4 Guest_jaicorbe_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:40 PM

Absolutely you should not have been in there. Its hardly rocket science.

#5 essentiallyme

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:42 PM

Breastfeed wherever you feel comfortable.


#6 happimama

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:42 PM

No i don't think its wrong.  I would have asked someone though if there was anywhere i could feed my child.  I always feel guilty going somewhere posh with a baby.  Like i'm in the wrong place.  

Its not as though you were in there doing your makeup or anything.  I've always viewed disabled toilets as toilets for people to use that can't use the normal toilets.  Whether you're an old person, pregnant and busting, in a wheelchair, with a pram etc.  Don't see why this is any different.

#7 MoonPie

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:42 PM

QUOTE
but now with her 3 year old self to contend with it's impossible to fit her, me, baby and both my boobs into those little cubicles.
Three year old PLUS a breastfeeding baby, if I'm reading correctly.

I'm not sure, OP. Obviously you avoid using them if at all possible, but it doesn't seem like there was much alternative.

#8 melajoe

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:43 PM

QUOTE
it's impossible to fit her, me, baby and both my boobs into those little cubicles.


getbacktobed, I don't think she was feeding the three year old.

I don't know what I would have done.  It is tricky when there is no baby change room.



#9 goldimouse

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:44 PM

Getbacktobed - i think she was feeding her baby DS.

I would look into a breastfeeding wrap or something similar, you can get pieces of fabric with boning in them that protect your privacy. I'm on my phone socan't look it up properly but that might enable you to feed discreetly in public. I think a disabled person needing to use the loo has more right to the room than you so I think you should have left when they knocked.

#10 essentiallyme

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:44 PM

Can't people read or comprehend or something. She has a three year old and baby.

#11 B.M.C.M.I.E

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:44 PM

QUOTE (getbacktobed @ 10/02/2010, 05:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah.  She's 3.  Can't she wait until you get home?


Huh?

OP - I was at a center a few weeks ago & the only changing room was a combined disabled toilet. I had an overtired 2 year old & a starving 2 month old, home was a 30 min drive so I proceeded to feed.

Sure enough mid-feed someone knocked. I did reply, tidy myself up & open the door. It was another Mum wanting to use the change table. DD had fed enough so I loaded up the car & left in a hurry while I had the chance.

#12 Nora.

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE
WDYT? Is it really selfish to use the only disabled loo for the rather long time it takes to feed my baby?


Yes it is selfish. You had options, a disabled person doesn't. What are they meant to do? Cross their legs & wait?

#13 rachelle2

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE
Yeah. She's 3. Can't she wait until you get home?


OP wasn't talking about feeding her 3yr old DD she was talking about feeding her baby son.

QUOTE
Absolutely you should not have been in there. Its hardly rocket science.


Most places that do not have a "mothers room" will use the disabled toilets as a "baby care room" so I think it is perfectly legitimate to feed your baby in there should you feel the need.  I always hated the idea of feeding my baby in those stinky toilets  sick.gif that was enough to get me over my breast feeding in public issues.

#14 jfl

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:45 PM

So, you didn't want to use the car because it was hot outside, but it is fine to deprive a person with a disability of the only toilet they can use?  Is this a joke?

I guess there are many reasons why using the disabled car parking spots would be more convenient for many people, too.  Doesn't make it right to do it.

#15 sassymummy

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:46 PM

I think she was breastfeeding a baby and a 3-year-old? Or maybe the 3-year-old was just in there with her whilst she fed the baby...

Anyway, OP, I don't think you're an evil person or anything for doing what you did, but I do think it's probably better you didn't do it again. The fact is, even if you don't like your other options (feeding in public, feeding in the car, feeding in the regular toilets), you DO have options. The disabled person has two options - use the disabled toilet or pee/poo him/herself.

#16 Guest_Cali~_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:48 PM

I had to use the disabled toilets at work to express at my break times when DS was younger, as there was nowhere else I could have gone - all the classrooms are glass walled - Yes I could have made a fuss and insisted they find me a room but as a PP said, I was 'special needs" in a way and at least the disabled toilet has a washbasin to clean up in, and a bench to put the bottle and pump on .

I feel I had full rights to use them and I think you do too Op if there is no other dedicated place for BFing.



#17 vonnegutesque

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:48 PM

I feel for your predicament, but disabled toilets are for the use of people with a disability, not for any random who needs a bit of privacy. Next time you should find a suitable alternative.

The only baby related thing that should happen in a disabled toilet is nappy change, if that's where the change station is. Changing a nappy only takes a minute, and is unlikely to cause humiliation for someone with a disability, should they find themselves having to wait 10 minutes + to use the only toilet accessible to them.

#18 Guest_baggy_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:50 PM

A lot of disabled toilets, are also change rooms.

A friend of mine feeds while her baby is in a sling. You can not see anything, it just looks like she is cuddling her. Have you tried that? Maybe use it around the house for a bit to get used to it.

Edited by baggy, 10 February 2010 - 04:51 PM.


#19 essentiallyme

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:51 PM

QUOTE
While we were in there, someone (I presume an actual disabled person) knocked repeatedly.

My bold. She didn't know it was an actual disabled person, for all the OP knew it could have been a cleaner or another mother or even just someone busting to go to the loo. So I think all the nasty comments are a bit OTT.
Sure a usual disabled toilet is for the disabled, but when a toilet is dual purpose and there are no other baby facilities then a breastfeeding mother would be the next neediest person.

#20 MyMiracleBabies

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:52 PM

Hi,

I have gone into the disabled toilet to bf. Most of the ones i go into do have a baby change table too.

Like i was told, parents with pram parking spots, disabled parking spots, and disabled toilets are for your use and the shopping centre cant control who uses them.

When i go out and i have a baby in a pram, sometimes a twin pram as i have 2 little ones and i need to go to the toilet or my eldest needs to go, there is no way we will all fit in a normal size toilet so i have to go into the disabled.

I would never see a problem to someone feeding their baby in one.

#21 MadamFrou-Frou

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:52 PM

QUOTE
I feel for your predicament, but disabled toilets are for the use of people with a disability, not for any random who needs a bit of privacy. Next time you should find a suitable alternative.

The only baby related thing that should happen in a disabled toilet is nappy change, if that's where the change station is. Changing a nappy only takes a minute, and is unlikely to cause humiliation for someone with a disability, should they find themselves having to wait 10 minutes + to use the only toilet accessible to them.


I agree with this. If you are concerned about feeding while watching your older child, strap him/her in a pram with a book and find a quiet seat somewhere to feed, or in your car with the air con on/in shade.

I am quite gobsmacked that someone would occupy a disabled toilet for that long actually. Feeding in a toilet is also pretty gross.

Edited by MadamFrou-Frou, 10 February 2010 - 04:53 PM.


#22 ikeaqueen

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:54 PM

I wouldn't do it... I'd prefer to flash my boobs around than feed a baby in a place designed for waste products.

Maybe look at buying one of these: http://www.easyfeed.com.au/



#23 Guest_baggy_*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:54 PM

QUOTE (MyMiracleBabies @ 10/02/2010, 05:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi,

I have gone into the disabled toilet to bf. Most of the ones i go into do have a baby change table too.

Like i was told, parents with pram parking spots, disabled parking spots, and disabled toilets are for your use and the shopping centre cant control who uses them.

When i go out and i have a baby in a pram, sometimes a twin pram as i have 2 little ones and i need to go to the toilet or my eldest needs to go, there is no way we will all fit in a normal size toilet so i have to go into the disabled.

I would never see a problem to someone feeding their baby in one.


Disabled parking spots are usually controlled by the council, unless the car park is privately owned.

#24 mummyof*4*

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:54 PM

I personally dont have a problem with you using the disabled if there was no other alternative ( i too have used the disabled toilets when I have had me, my three girls and a loaded trolley full of groceries).

However, I do think its disgusting to feed in the loos - my baby has every right to eat where I eat ( not to mention the smells/ goings on in the loos  sick.gif )so If I were you I would work on being able to BF comfortably in public.

#25 GWTW

Posted 10 February 2010 - 04:55 PM

You did nothing wrong OP.

QUOTE (Pillywiggins @ 10/02/2010, 05:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes I think you were selfish truthfully. So do you have a baby and your three year old, or is the three year old the baby? Well I've just re-read your scenario and I still think you were selfish. It's time to get up over your breast issues and just feed discreetly in public. You can still use a shawl and continually check the positioning of your baby, it really isn't rocket science. I fed all three of mine with nipple shields, they are truly a big PITA (they slip off or obstruct baby's air flow) but it's not rocket science to be discreet without hogging a disabled toilet.

Let's just hope whomever needed the toilet didn't sh*t/p*ss him/herself. mad.gif


That is nigh on impossible for some big breasted women to do. I could hardly ever feed in public because I could ot be discreet about it, no matter how I tried.




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