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Baby should be at home

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#1 ~Bill~

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:04 AM

Went to DS's Pead surgeon on wednesday and took out 1 week old who sleept most of the way through the appointment and woke and had a bit of a cry near the end. The dr asked how old she was and when we said a week old said she should be at home, and that newborns belong at home.

I do and dont agree with him, agree that newborns should not be dragged everywhere to visit people but you still have to live your life so have to take them out at some time

WDYT should newborns stay at home for the first few weeks?

#2 ~gaby~

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:08 AM

Life goes on, it doesn't stop just because a baby arrives. I carried on like normal after DS was born

#3 Wut??

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:08 AM

WDYT should newborns stay at home for the first few weeks?
What for?

I think newborns and mothers should at least have the option to be tucked up in bed, preferably with midwives/lactation consultants on tap for the first week, but beyond that, no.

#4 ang_w

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:08 AM

As nice as it would be to stay at home for the first few weeks and just concentrate on nothing but the baby, we all still have lives to lead and most of us don't have that luxury.  
DH went back to work the day after my last baby was born, so needless to say, I had no choice but to get on with it.

#5 EsmeLennox

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:10 AM

Um... no, I don't. We can't all just put our lives on hold. OK, maybe we can with a first child, but not with subsequent children. Plus newborns are (generally) soooo adaptable it's not funny. I found it much easier to cart a newborn around than a toddler. Good grief, my DS3 was carted to and from kindy twice a day from 3 days old, shopped, went to swimming lessons for DS1, T-ball etc, etc, from  the minute I got home with him. Actually, I grocery shopped on the way home!

What an antiquated and ridiculous notion. What was her reasoning?

#6 Phascogale

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:11 AM

Depends on the culture you live in or were brought up in.  There are some cultures in the world where mum and baby need to stay home and rest for the first 40 days and the extended family do everything for them in that time.  Most people don't have that option.

There is something to be said about staying home and limiting contact with the outside world in a newborn from a disease point of view but that doesn't really apply once you have more than one child.

And like you said, life goes on.  Those with older kids probably have school and kinder runs.  Life doesn't stop and not everyone has the luxury of having someone do these things for them.  I remember having my 3 day old at the supermarket on the way home from hospital because there was no food in the house!

#7 Benevolence

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:11 AM

I know a girl that was back at uni with her newborn 2 days after giving birth.

Within reason, I think you should do what is right for you and your family.

#8 kaz_april

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:12 AM

like u said u still need to live ur life!

a old woman approached me while i was waitting for DH outside woolies when DD2 was 5 days old he had to run in for a few things and i need to go to the chemist she asked how old DD was and i said 5 days she then said oh 5 weeks and i corrected her and said no 5 days she then went straight into my face and said get that baby home u should not be here! with everyone looking.
DH then came shortly after seening i was in tears asking if everything was ok. and i told him and he just said were doing what we want she is our daughter. i wont tell u what this old lady was doing while walking around the shops.(we later discovered while walking back to the car)

u cant wrap them in cotton wool.

#9 Tan17

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:13 AM

My DD2 was 8 days old when my DS1 had major leg surgery and I had no choice but to take her everyday to the hospital.  The nurses were amazed at how old she was but no one ever said that she should be at home.  I agree life goes on.

#10 ~ Four Blessings ~

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:16 AM

With DS1 - I didnt leave the house to even go to the corner shop for a week (as I was still in a lot of pain after giving birth)

I left hospital the day after DS3 was born, and went straight to the shopping centre, did some groceries, went to medicare to file the paperwork there (the medicare staff were a little surprised I was there so early) and then went to centrelink to do the paperwork there.

I find the doctors comment weird, what exactly is the difference between a newborn baby and a 6 month old baby if you need to go out you need to go out.

#11 Duck-o-lah

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:19 AM

Odd. Which option would the paed prefer... that your DS didn't attend his appt or that the week old baby be left home alone? I agree you don't want to be dragging a newborn all over town, but some things have to be done.

#12 what-ever

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:19 AM

I was too scared to leave the house after having #1 for about 2 weeks. Everyone was telling me to get out and go shopping!

Was out and about the day after i got out of hospital with #2 and all i got was people commenting on how cute my newborn was.

NEVER had anyone tell me that i needed to be at home.

I think that is a really odd comment from the doc.

#13 Guest_shauna+Molly+ Me_*

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:21 AM

I am another who groccery shopped on the way home from hospital.
Molly just cuddled up to DH and I popped up and down the ailses getting things for dinner that night!

She was born on Friday and I was doing the kinder run with with both the girls on the Tuesday.

With Shauna I became a bit of a hermit for the first couple of weeks, I think this did me more harm than good, my whole life became to alternative reality and I think if I was encouraged to go for a shopping trip or something I would have felt more normal and not so freaked out.

#14 Sunny003

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:23 AM

What an idiot!

Seriously some people do my head in! You were at a paediatric surgeon, not at the tennis! And if you had of called up to cancel, saying you have a newborn, they would of reminded you how important your DS's appointment was blah blah blah!

If/when we have #3, they will be staying on the kids ward when DS1 or DS2 are in, there is no other option. Not everyone has a DH who can take time off work at the drop of a hat. I'll be BF'ing, and have at least 2 of my children needing me.

#15 Guest_keylimepie~_*

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:25 AM

Depends on the culture you live in or were brought up in. There are some cultures in the world where mum and baby need to stay home and rest for the first 40 days and the extended family do everything for them in that time. Most people don't have that option.

I think it's best to stay home for as long as possible in those very early days. 4 weeks would be great but seriously unrealistic for most.

I intend to get out & walk baby in the pram from as early as I can. That is though, around my neighbourhood. No way I'll be going near large shoppng centres or on public transport in the first few weeks. Both things I try & avoid at all costs anyway! wink.gif

ETA - Seriously bizarre attitude of your Paed though.

Edited by keylimepie~, 19 December 2009 - 10:27 AM.

#16 JaneMummy

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:31 AM

The reason most doctor's recommend babies stay home in the first 4 weeks is they haven't had any immunisations yet and are more susceptible to illness.  There are also less treatment options when they are so small; I can't remember if they can even have Panadol before 4 weeks.  

That said, this is an ideal and people still have lives to live, errands to run and other children to look after.  

#17 vanillabean

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:31 AM

I've just had two very sick children with gastro and a few weeks ago a really bad flu, i wouldn't want to expose my newborn to anything i didn't have to. They need to build up immunity first. I know life has to go on but i would do all i could to keep my baby at home for the first few weeks if i could.

#18 MadamFrou-Frou

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:34 AM

We probably spent the first 5 days in hospital or at home. After that I tried to keep DD away from large groups and didn't let small children at DS' daycare touch her. There are some major whooping cough epidemics around at the moment not to mention swine flu, so I don't think it hurts to be a little cautious until they've had their immunisations.

#19 DontKnowDontCare

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:36 AM

When our son was born, we were advised to get out and about as soon as possible - the earlier you do it, the easier it becomes.  

Mind you, our little man was almost 4 weeks old when we left the hospital, but my dh brought the pram in and we did walk him down to the little corner coffee shop sometimes - just to have some time away from hospital.

she then went straight into my face and said get that baby home u should not be here! with everyone looking.

You know, with the hormonal changes you'd have been experiencing, you had the perfect excuse to snap back at her with "get stuffed, its none of your business!"

Edited by mumoflittlepossum, 19 December 2009 - 10:40 AM.

#20 Kim

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:42 AM

I like the idea of staying at home bonding with baby and having extended family helping, but the reality is that our society generally isolates women, meaning we don't have that extended support.

You should have taken the opportunity to ask the paed if he did home visits.

#21 ~Bill~

Posted 19 December 2009 - 10:48 AM

It is funny the pead was a male and my DH who was at the appointment with me agreed with him, so maybe it is a male thing?

#22 Dani

Posted 19 December 2009 - 11:02 AM

Well then your husband is an idiot as well!  If he was so concerned about the baby being out when "it really should be at home" what the hell stopped him from taking DS to the paed. on his own so that you baby & her milkbar could chill at home.  Bet that would have suited you better anyway.

#23 Guest_keylimepie~_*

Posted 19 December 2009 - 11:10 AM

There are some major whooping cough epidemics around at the moment not to mention swine flu, so I don't think it hurts to be a little cautious until they've had their immunisations.
Not to mention a couple of measles outbreaks as well. One of which is in my area.  ohmy.gif

#24 ComeWhatMay

Posted 19 December 2009 - 11:23 AM

QUOTE (kaz_april @ 19/12/2009, 10:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
a old woman approached me while i was waitting for DH outside woolies when DD2 was 5 days old he had to run in for a few things and i need to go to the chemist she asked how old DD was and i said 5 days she then said oh 5 weeks and i corrected her and said no 5 days she then went straight into my face and said get that baby home u should not be here! with everyone looking.

I had a woman do this when I was out with DD who was 6 days at the time.  I had gone to go to Medicare to make sure all the paper work was put in correctly.  The lady approached me and was looking at DD and when I said she was 6 days old the lady told me I should be in bed and not out and about and in her day she would have been in bed for weeks and not allowed to do anything.  Once she walked off DH and I had a chuckle about it as to us it showed the differences in what is accepted.

#25 Soontobegran

Posted 19 December 2009 - 11:28 AM

How bizarre, what s stupid thing to say.
Only is one child families are we blessed with the ability to confine ourselves to our home when we have a newborn.
Our culture tends not to see a home full of extended family who assist in all other facets of housework or childminding so we can give all our time to our new baby-----Perhaps the paed comes from a culture which sees mum and bub unable to leave the house for 40 + days?

When I had #5 on my first day at home we had the 5 year old to kinder, the 4 year old to kinder (a different one) the 3 year old to 3 year old playgroup  which I had to sat at with her and the 1 year old just following us around original.gif
They were healthy, happy and sociable and still are.
OP you are not doing the wrong thing. We are blessed with a pretty healthy environment for our children, we do not need to become prisoners in our own home UNLESS that is the way you prefer it to be.

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