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Affirmations for VBAC Homebirth
I've lost confidence following birth plan meeting


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9 replies to this topic

#1 tres

Posted 19 July 2009 - 07:46 PM

Just wondering if anyone out there would like to share some affirmations I can focus on for my upcoming homebirth.

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and this will be a vbac, although following my birthplan meeting last week I'm feeling pretty stressed. My midwife asked me to prepare a birth plan for cesarean in addition to homebirth. Her thinking was that the last birth was unexplained emergency cesarean (twins) with twin A unable to be vacuumed out. This singleton baby is substantially bigger. I understand it's in order to be prepared, however it really put me on the back foot. This is despite the middy stating she is confident that I'll birth naturally - but I didn't hear that!

I need to do something positive following this drop in confidence and I would love some ideas of what people have used to assist them pre and during labour.

#2 Al.Packer

Posted 19 July 2009 - 09:14 PM

If it helps at all, I'm 35 weeks, and preparing a couple of birth plans just in case I don't end up birthing at home - one in case of transfer that doesn't end in caesar and one in case of transfer that does end in caesar.

I'm thinking of it from the perspective not that it might happen, but that if unfortunately it does, there are things that will make me happier with the overall experience (delayed cord cutting, no taking baby away for weighing etc etc).

Does that make sense?

It's not about your ability or "inability" to birth original.gif



#3 new~mum~reenie

Posted 19 July 2009 - 09:27 PM

Hi doll - I'm not a VBACer, and have no experience to know how you are personally feeling - but I'm sending good vibes through your screen right now  happy.gif .

When the birth was leading up for me, EVERY shower I had, I stood in the hot water, eyes closed, and visialised exactly how it was going to be. That baby would shuffle down with every contraction. That I was opening up, and stretching.  There was no hurry in this process - I took all the imaginetive time I wanted... I opened, baby descended, crowned, birthed and I scooped bub up.

I took time to remember that contractions were a good thing. My little mantra was 'every contraction's an action'. Every wave bought me closer to holding my bub.

Another thing I did was watched home and freebirths on Youtube. I watched heaps. In water, out of water, on a nest on mattresses on the floor, in the kitchen. Every women, birthing every concievable way - loud, quiet, moaning, singing(!), on all fours, kneeling on one knee, leaning over the bed, and reminding myself that it was ALL normal. However I chose to birth this baby was normal for ME, even if it was the first time I'd ever birthed. I didn't have to be self conscious etc. I found that it helped me alot in respect to getting me into the right headspace.

In regards to writing a C/S part of your birthplan - I read (in the VBAC section) a suggestion just to write it at the end of your normal plan (ie: in the even of a C/S, DS to hold baby if I'm unable etc etc) and then put it out of your mind. That it was dealt with, covered, and now you can forget about it (I guess like home insurance!!) and you can focus and plan on how it WILL be.

I don't know if I'm any help - I hope I am.  But wishing you the best of luck (not that you'll need it! You'll be great!!)  wink.gif

#4 tres

Posted 19 July 2009 - 10:13 PM

Thanks Freakypet, good words.

enceinte, it does make sense. On the off chance that I transfer and then end up with a caesar I would like some control, i.e. who is there and ensuring my baby stays with me.

And thanks new-mum-reenie - the shower is a great place to think! I really like the idea of visualising the opening up, stretching and allowing the baby to come.

Thanks everyone. Nothing like a bit of encouragement.

#5 sebela

Posted 20 July 2009 - 11:39 PM

I am a planner by nature. My birth plan for #1 seems hideously pretentious to me now, but even back then before the infertility and countless health problems that plagued my second successful pregnancy I had plans A, B & C (ideal, more medicated than I would like, c/s). During that pregnancy I was really worried that by thinking about a cesarean and various other scenarios and what I would want I was somehow setting myself up to experience that.

At some point in that first pregnancy I read "Birthing from Within" which is an AWESOME book and amongst the many things that resonated for me was the section that basically talks about planning for contingency so you can think through your fears do what you can to avoid them and then let them go. She gave the startling example of a birth class she had run of 10 couples. One couple asked relentless questions about c/s and how to avoid one etc to the point that everyone else got annoyed. At their reunion the couple that had worried about and planned for a c/s were the ONLY couple that had avoided one. It really helped me get on with considering all the possibilities and my concerns and fears and plans about those issues and then LET THEM GO - because I had done all that I could. That birth went really well.

With my second pregnancy my conception was IVF plus immune suppressants to stop my immune system rejecting the pregnancy. I had a heart condition and a neurologically based blood pressure problem, I was under the care of an OB, a reproductive immunologist, a cardiologist and a neurologist, I saw my GP at least weekly. I was hospitalized twice, and had a baby that was (accurately) documented to be on the 98th percentile - my DH is 6'7", we were never going to make small babies. I had private obstetric care so that I would know who I was dealing with in the rather likely chance I needed an OB, but I had IPM too - so that I would have continuity of midwifery no matter how well or how badly things went. And so that I would have the CHOICE should I make it to term and be healthy enough to stay home. My OB knew this and didn't once bother to try to talk me out of it because she didn't think it would ever come to that. No one, except me, including my midwife, believed it would go well (though she was amazing about keeping that to herself until AFTER the birth). I knew it COULD go well if I got to term, I just wasn't counting my chickens.

I think that on top of all the medical issues stacked against me the fact that I was one to plan for every contingency and didn't SEEM that confident added to my midwife's feeling it would go badly.

Well my awful pregnancy ended in a perfect home water birth at 38w4d - 3 hr labour, baby born in the caul & asleep of all things! My midwife was almost dancing with glee afterward as she said "It just doesn't get better than that". I went to see my OB at 6w and she was speechless.

The point of all that was having a plan for a cesarean is not a plan for failure, think about what would make various scenarios more bearable for you, what your choices would be. Write it down. Then let it go because you don't have to worry about what ifs after that and can just focus on plan A and surrendering to the process and letting your body do it's thing, which it can do.

#6 TwistedIvy

Posted 20 July 2009 - 11:49 PM

QUOTE
The point of all that was having a plan for a cesarean is not a plan for failure, think about what would make various scenarios more bearable for you, what your choices would be. Write it down.


I 100% agree with this.

I've given birth 3 times now. The first time was a homebirth-hospital transfer, the second a miwife run birth-centre birth, and finally my homebirth.

My first son's birth in hospital, while OK, was not as good as it could have been. Partly because I had no plan, and secondly I had no independant advocate.

For my last homebirth, I had two transfer birth plans written, and my doula was fully aware of my wishes and prepared to make sure they happened. For instance, if you have narrowly avoided a CS (like I did), the elation of actually giving birth vaginally meant that all my wishes were far from mind (i.e. give me my baby immediately, don't cut his cord, everyone leave the room except for essential people), and had I had a plan written and doula there to voice my demands, all of those things would have happened IYKWIM. Instead there were 10 people in the 'delivery' room, the baby was sucked out, and taken immediately for weighing etc.)

Write your plan - get a doula, of have your IMW prepared to be your voice in that sense.

#7 fi-baby

Posted 21 July 2009 - 11:23 AM

I've never been in your position, but I found reading birth stories incredibly inspiring and empowering when I was having a crisis of confidence prior to my  wonderful homebirth.

Thinking of you,

Fi

#8 tres

Posted 21 July 2009 - 01:11 PM

Wow sebela thanks for that. And congratulations - your homebirth sounds wonderful. My last pregnancy ended in emergency c/s with twins, but the entire pregnancy I completely rejected the idea of c/s so was completely unprepared and powerless. Thank you.

Angel and Boo thanks, I've read your birth story and had a few tears.

fi-baby thanks for the thoughts.

Off to write birth plans now...

#9 Al.Packer

Posted 21 July 2009 - 01:58 PM

Freakypet, I know I'm not the OP, but I'd like to look at the link pls - I want to make sure mine is comprehensive!

#10 tres

Posted 21 July 2009 - 02:09 PM

Yes please!




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