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Surrogacy - India


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#1 donnie1973

Posted 07 March 2009 - 10:54 PM

Hi

If there is anyone on the forum who has had medical factors preventing conception or has has a history of failed IVF, and has been unsuccessful with other options, I put forward the option that we chose (after considered investigation in India), gestational surrogacy. After 3 attempts at two clinics in Mumbai, we recently returned to Aust. as the first couple to have a baby born to an Indian surrogate. It was a momentus occasion and one of unexplained joy. For those who are interested in knowing a little more about the programs, please send a note.

Certain people may have negative connotations re surrogacy, as they may have read some misleading material in national papers; it is mostly incorrect information.

I have all the facts and figures re the program over there, and can speak from first hand information, about the entire process. 45 Australian couples are currently involved in these programs, with 2 more births in the past week.

The Indian medical fraternity is very impressive and their IVF clinics are similar in standard to Australia. The surrogates are very well looked after (contrary to newspaper articles which are often third hand info) and receive up to 10 years of their annual family income for their involvement in carrying the baby. They are often well educated women (one recent case, the surrogate was a nurse) who wish to use the proceeds from their fee, to fund their children's education for life or acquire a home or renovation to a home. (up to 300,000 rupees)

#2 Little~Oggy

Posted 10 March 2009 - 05:23 PM

Congratulations and it is really wonderful to see someone who has actually been through this over in India rather than hear 3rd or 4th hand about it.  yyes.gif  yyes.gif

#3 dsl

Posted 11 March 2009 - 05:35 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your baby,  original.gif   As Little China said, it's great to hear from someone who has experienced this first hand.

#4 ozipom

Posted 11 March 2009 - 07:52 PM

Wow Chrissie1970, what lovely news. Congratulations to  you and your family :-)

#5 donnie1973

Posted 11 March 2009 - 08:10 PM

Hi and thanks for well wishes. If anyone needs more info. happy to assist...I really believe this is a terrific opportunity for those who are on their last legs trying to have a family. Obviously, this is not for all, and some who are lucky, may find a surrogate within Australia. Speaking with a paediatrician recently, he actually thought offshore commercial surrogacy (Gestational) was probably a better outcome than domestically, for the one reason, being, the Indian child bearer, would be so unlikely wanting to keep the child. The risk in the US and here of course, is the distinct possibility (it happens) that the birth mother suddenly decides she wants to retain the baby and nurture him/her.

An article was published in Fairfax papers today (The Age, Brisb Times, WA Today) re our story in Opinion section. It is a short story, but, it provides those cynics with some perspective of the type of people who choose this option...it is a last resort, and we often borrow $ to fund this...it is not the rich pursuing this at all in India, rather, the middle class Australian, who has, in most cases I have noted through forums, been to hell and back.

http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/does-it-m...90310-8u80.html

Cheers
Chrissie

#6 slummymummy

Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:53 PM

Congratulations. I am considering surrogacy because I had severe PND and HG (severe, sometimes life-threatening morning sickness). Thank you for being kind enough to share your experience

#7 donnie1973

Posted 18 March 2009 - 11:45 PM

Hi all

I believe Ch 7 Sunday Night program will host a segment this week on surrogacy in India. It will be interesting, with a couple from Adelaide recently travellign to mumbai for their first scan. Ch 7 filmed the journey and will continue to follow them right through until birth later in year. It will be interesting viewing, looking at both sides of argument.

Furthermore, an article will be published in Insight section of Fairfax papers in 3 weeks we believe, Saturdays paper. Look out for this.

#8 alwayshappy

Posted 20 March 2009 - 02:43 PM

Hi Chrissie,
I hope you don't mind answering my questions.  Just wondering how you will integrate your sons gestational journey into his life story, given you have utilised an Indian surrogate?  Will he have have any contact or knowledge about the surrogate?  Will have have an opportunity to meet her one day?  Do you have identifying information about her?  If not, what do you think or understand this will mean for him?  Do you place any value on her or the role she's played, apart from the fact she's given you this great gift?
I'm just trying to understand how the parents see the role of the surrogate long term - and what this means for their child (being a child born to a surrogate who is over the other side of the world).
Thanks for your thoughts.

#9 ky28

Posted 22 March 2009 - 10:03 PM

Hi Chrissie, and congratulations.

i too am interested in the answers to the questions posed by 'alwayshappy'. Having lost two beautiful boys prematurely, i am now at a point where i am seriously considering surrogacy but have no one who has been through it to seek advice from or get their opinions and feelings.

Did you have an option with a family member or friend or was going overseas to india your only option. My husband's sister has offered to be our surrogate Mum which is just the greatest gift ever but it's so difficult to get your head around the effect that this will have on EVERONE involved. Us, her, her husband, her children, her life and of course the Baby. Am i reading too much into it?? is it really NOT that complicated?? i'm not sure.

If any one can offer any advice or thoughts on this topic.... i'd really love to hear from you.

thanks so much for sharing your story Chrissie - by the way i did watch that segment on Sunday night tonight...... what a dilemma and do you know who has the legal right in a situation like that?? Can the surrogate Mum choose to terminate?? I'm hanging to see the outcome as they follow their story.

#10 lilly1980

Posted 23 March 2009 - 10:04 AM

We have a 7 week DS who my sister in law had for us.  It is the most wonderful experience.  I definitly think that if you have family that can do it then it is the best situation, but you need to be sure that they can cope with the emotion and you can fully trust someone else to care for your baby for 9 months. I think all in all our family (including her kids) coped fairly well with the sistuation.

#11 ky28

Posted 23 March 2009 - 10:22 PM

Wow! Congratulations. Thanks so much for that insight. I guess i'm just scared of the unkown and unsure of what the relationship will be like between the child and my Sister in law. Will you be completely honest with your child from the get go. I would have to be. how did you feel during the whole 9 months did you see your sister in law a lot. it would be hard to be apart from them for too long i would imagine...SO Many Emotions!!!

#12 Frabjous

Posted 23 March 2009 - 10:34 PM

ok, I'm the one it seems... I just think its WRONG! There's a huge difference in having a close family member do it, but to have it as a monetary transaction in a third world country, just seems morally wrong to me.

I am sorry I know its a contentious issue, but i had to say it.
EP

#13 Boombox

Posted 23 March 2009 - 10:47 PM

extended-play That's interesting you say that. I wonder though what you find morally wrong in the monetary transaction? What about the $ exchanged for IVF and assisted conception- do you find that morally wrong? I'd see them as much the same- a fee for a service provided- both in an effort to gain a child.

And if it was a first world country would it be better?

#14 3_for_me

Posted 23 March 2009 - 10:57 PM

I am curious as to the amount they are paid, $300,000 rupees isn't actually a whole lot, about $8500 Aussie dollars, I certainly wouldn't carry someone elses child for that much.

I hope everything works out well for you now that you are home original.gif

#15 Frabjous

Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:00 PM

yep! I knew i would cop it for saying that. I saw the thread last week and it stayed with me for ages.

I am sorry, but I just feel its inherently wrong to have someone paid as a vessel to carry a child for you for money.

Like i said, I realise its a contentious issue.

Goodness, I must be conservative and its all coming out now.
EP

#16 Boombox

Posted 24 March 2009 - 03:17 PM

extended-play- I wasn't having a go at you, sorry if it came across that way. I was interested in why you felt that way, and whether you apply the idea of it being wrong to pay for all assisted reproduction. I just think it's hard to be moral about just one side of it all- I don't mean you on your own there either, I mean the whole backlash against this sort of surrogacy that must be such a burden to those finding themselves needing to explore it.

#17 vegiepatch

Posted 24 March 2009 - 03:27 PM

Just saw the story on the Sunday night program. It's a terrible dilemma. Hope it works out for the couple.

#18 Trevor Trove

Posted 24 March 2009 - 03:32 PM

QUOTE
What about the $ exchanged for IVF and assisted conception- do you find that morally wrong? I'd see them as much the same- a fee for a service provided- both in an effort to gain a child.

Do you mean donor gametes? I believe it is illegal for money to change hands for donor gametes in this country.  Likewise for surrogacy.

From my perspective, the problem people seem to have with paid surrogacy is not with the eventual mother/father (sorry if I haven't used the correct terminology) BUT the act of employing ($$$)some woman for the function of bearing your progeny - ie the use of women. Some might see surrogacy for cash as a 'use' of women, much like prostitution or pornographic material.  Others see it as the woman's personal choice, with not much effect on society overall.  If that makes any sense.

I don't know what to think, but the Indian,USA etc industry does seem very strange.
QUOTE
Goodness, I must be conservative and its all coming out now.

Yeah, it's like pus! biggrin.gif

#19 alwayshappy

Posted 24 March 2009 - 03:39 PM

Chrissie,
Thanks for the PM.  I reckon it would be a great benefit to everyone on this forum if you posted your reply to my questions here - but that is up to you.  I think it will open up the discussion a lot more and assist us understand better.
Regards.

#20 Boombox

Posted 24 March 2009 - 03:53 PM

QUOTE
Do you mean donor gametes? I believe it is illegal for money to change hands for donor gametes in this country. Likewise for surrogacy.


No, I just meant the general IVF etc procedures. I imagine many Drs/clinics are run on a profit making basis and I personally don't see a difference in the service they provide for $ and those provided by a woman carrying another couples child. However, I would have an issue with a woman who was actually able to safely bear a child using the service of another womans womb for her own convenience etc, so I guess we all have our own moral limitations!

I have to say though
QUOTE
ie the use of women.
That's not something I'd really thought about and does raise some food for thought.

#21 lilly1980

Posted 24 March 2009 - 04:40 PM

ky28

My DS will definitly know how he came about.  Apart from the fact that he has heaps of cousins that know about the surrogacy it would just be wrong to be untruthful to him.  I felt great about the whole preganacy - I had a histerectomy due to cancer so there was no other way of having a baby.  My sister in law is DS aunt, a special aunt, but still his aunt.  We he was born my hubby cut the cord and he was placed on my chest - the most amazing moment ever.

#22 DanielleR

Posted 24 March 2009 - 07:35 PM

While I am sympathetic to couples experiencing infertility (I have donated eggs and my Intended Parents are expecting twins)  I must admit the whole idea of using Indian surrogates doesn't sit well with me.

The fact is that carrying a baby and giving birth carries significant risks to a woman's health and well-being.  I feel that women in third world countries may be taken advantage of, exploited, if they feel pressured into doing it for the money.  

I understand that finding an altruistic surrogate here in Australia is a very difficult thing to do, but feel it's a much better situation if the woman fully understands the risks and is prepared to take them on for purely altruistic reasons.

#23 donnie1973

Posted 28 March 2009 - 09:08 AM

Hi all

Sunday Night program on Ch7 will have a follow up short segment re surrogacy. We are interviewed in this segment.


http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunday-night/

This thread is still open, despite info I received that it was shut down.

Cheers

Chrissie

#24 BeYOUtiful

Posted 29 March 2009 - 10:28 AM

Congratulations on your son Chrissie original.gif

Thank you for the update on the Sunday program airing again tonight.  Will we know who you are? (ie. or name changes)

I too am anxious to see how the Aust couples and Surrogates journey pans out.

Thanks again for your story you are a remarkable couple.
May I please ask if you don't mind, did you endure ivf prior to your Surrogacy journey?  Gosh I hope that has come out right

Thanks

#25 ozipom

Posted 29 March 2009 - 06:42 PM

Hi Chrissie,

I just saw you on the tele and just needed to come on here and again say congratulations. Little Luke (?) is just gorgeous. Enjoy your precious son.

Kind Regards


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