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Babies Are Boring!


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#1 diary~dad

Posted 21 November 2008 - 08:04 AM

Are Babies Boring?
By Joseph Kelly

When Maisie was born I was the most excited dad ever.  I didn’t think any baby could be as endlessly fascinating as my Maisie.  My colleagues at work constantly pretended to be entertained with daily updates on Maisie’s comings and goings.  My mum always made me feel that she had been waiting by the phone just to hear what new life skill her latest grandchild had acquired.  And all I had to do was look at Maisie to know that she was the most special child ever created.

So when my friend Will was initially dismissive of Maisie I was a bit put out.  “Babies are pretty boring for the first 12 months” said Will, father of five, after first meeting Maisie. Pretty boring?!  Will had obviously missed Maisie’s fascinating attempts to gurgle, her unmissable rolls across the floor, her look of amazement at any light source or her edible look of concentration when she worked on a poo.  I couldn’t understand how anyone could class this unending stream of entertainment as boring.  Then I had another baby.

By the time Frances was born Maisie and I had sorted ourselves out.  When Maisie woke in the night she called for daddy.  When Susie was breastfeeding Frances, Maisie and I would do a jigsaw puzzle or colour in some pictures or dance in the lounge room.  If Susie and Frances were having a nap, Maisie and I went visiting friends.  For me, the arrival of Frances meant I had a lot more time to spend with Maisie – and I loved it.  Given the choice of staying home and watching Frances try and poo or going to the movies with Maisie, Maisie won hands down each time.

It’s not that Frances and I didn’t bond, it’s more that I knew I didn’t have to rush.  If Maisie taught me anything it’s that before I knew it Frances would be racing around the house demanding my attention.  Until then, I thought, I’d spend some quality time with Maisie who, incidentally, didn’t need nappy changing and could actually tell me what she needed.  It wasn’t long, however, before Susie started worrying about my relationship with Daughter Number Two. Even a colleague, when introducing me to her mum, said “This is Joe.  He has two daughters but only talks about one.”

So it looked like I was in danger of becoming a dreaded Bad Parent.  If things kept going the way they were we were about to become a divided household, split into the Maisie Lobby and the Frances Lobby.  

But then something strange happened – Frances turned one.  And as soon as she turned one she started walking.  And once she started walking she became, well, interesting.  She stopped being Susie’s baby and suddenly announced herself, as Maisie started to call her, as ‘Our Francie’.  It was as if over-night everything she started to do had endless possibilities.  And before I knew it she was racing around the house demanding my attention – and I loved every minute of it.  

Now with a new baby on the way, and with Frances having just turned three, I feel empowered enough to admit that I find babies pretty boring for the first year, but to me toddlers are God’s own creatures.

Are babies boring? Are they more exciting for mum than they are for dad?  And are toddlers God’s own creatures?

Edited by diary~dad, 22 November 2008 - 05:55 PM.


#2 Kylie Orr

Posted 30 November 2008 - 06:51 PM

I think I'm the opposite to you diary-dad.  I love, love, love newborns in all their floppy-head, dribbling, googling glory.  They snuggle in like koalas, stare at the ceiling fan like it is their old friend from way back and give such uninhibited gummy smiles.  I think I am a minority though - most of my friends can't wait to get past the demanding, dependent newborn phase.  But onto what? I ask.  The tantrum & talking-back phase?  I guess each age has it pros and cons.  

Good luck with the new bubba - send her/him round here for a year if you like - I'll trade you my toddler!

Kylie.
Mother in da Hood

#3 diary~dad

Posted 01 December 2008 - 11:15 AM

Thanks Mother-in-the-hood: I might just take you up on that!

#4 ~albo~

Posted 01 December 2008 - 01:03 PM

It's slightly more complicated than that - 1st babies are exciting every minute, it's only their younger siblings that get boring!

#5 diary~dad

Posted 01 December 2008 - 02:17 PM

Perhaps this explains the middle child syndrome???

#6 deek

Posted 09 March 2009 - 01:24 AM

A slightly "older" perspective:

I did find my two boys pretty boring in the first 6 - 8 months.  Then they get fun and interesting as they get into age 2, 3, etc. as we can all do things together.

But now that they are 21 and 18, my wife and I look quite longingly at young parents. It goes by so fast.. cherish every moment.

#7 ozipom

Posted 09 March 2009 - 01:55 AM

My husband, (who is much cluckier than me these days, but that's because I am bitter and twisted about our fertility issues!) would whole heartedly agree with you. He absolutely loves children and they just love him, but he never forms any kind of relationship with them until they are past the "babies" stage and he has said to me a number of times that babies are boring. Personally I think he doesn't know how to act/play with them until they are that bit older) Me on the other hand I looooooove babies and don't find them boring at all.

#8 ~*~Jacqui~*~

Posted 09 March 2009 - 07:53 PM

I agree!!  I don't understand the fascination with babies until they get to around the 6-8mth mark and start to interact and do more.

My friends don't understand how I don't go ga-ga over every newborn I see or even that I won't hold them until they are about 5mths and have some strength.

Just doesn't interest me but given I've having #4 this year, I guess there must be something about them I like laughing2.gif


#9 originalp

Posted 24 March 2009 - 04:04 PM

You are absolutely right - babies are deadly boring.  When my nephew was born he didn't do anything for the first three months except sleep.  I'd rush to pick him up only to hand him to my hsband five minutes later stating, "Here, this baby is boring".

I'm epxecting my own baby in August - I fully expect him to be boring too.  If I could skip to say, the first birthday, I'd be very happy.  I'm sure that's when things will really get interesting.

#10 grandude

Posted 24 March 2009 - 04:52 PM

I have no children of my own and my joy has been helping my wife raise her three children. Her eldest, my daughter, for that's what I call her even though she is my step-daughter, has given me the joy of "fatherhood" in my 50's. I was able to attend the birth of her child, our first grandchild, and the past 9 months have been a wonderous journey for all of us. There is no way that this time has in anyway been boring. For me, each and every day has been exciting, sometimes scary, but never boring. Seeing our grandson experience things in life for the "first" time is a joy to behold. I look forward with unbridled enthusiam to experiencing many more firsts!

#11 diary~dad

Posted 24 March 2009 - 06:11 PM

Hi grandude - thanks for your response and welcome to Essential Baby!

#12 A3YO!

Posted 25 March 2009 - 06:30 AM

It seems you inspired two new members ... deek is a newie as well as grandude!

Hubby was scared witless of fragile newborn bub ... till she was about ten months old and he realised she was a speed freak too (ear-splitting grin and we raced around the shopping centre very, very late with her in the seat-part).  Since then, they've been best mates.  Unfortunately he doesn't want another!

I enjoyed the baby/toddler/pre-school stage ... but I find tweens harder to relate to.  I always have - even with other children.  Even though I know this little person so much better, I still find this a tough age.  We always seem to clash and she won't take advice - and she's now as tall as my underarm!

DH 43
Me 42
DD nearly 7 (still a new member after nearly four years)

#13 Dionysus

Posted 25 March 2009 - 06:45 AM

I completely agree!!  Newborns, in the first week or two, are awesome.  Then they are boring for the next 6 months or so.

My SIL has a 12 week old - so very cute in hospital, so mind-numbingly boring now yyawn.gif  

But, I am sure that mine will be the exception to the rule.  And if anyone dares to suggest that my baby is boring will have me to deal with  tongue.gif  roll2.gif

#14 harrison~at~last

Posted 25 March 2009 - 07:24 AM

My own wasn't boring because there were so many things I had to do for her, but yes, other babies are very boring!  My sister has a 6w old who because of physical distance I've only seen a couple of days after birth, but she keeps saying 'I want your DH to see him', both DH and I are at the point of 'but he doesn't do anything, and most babies look pretty much the same at this age'.

I think especially after having a baby yourself, you are less interested in 'new' babies because you know how much work they entail, and how many hours they can spend doing NOTHING!

#15 organic~sab

Posted 10 March 2010 - 08:24 AM

aww i find all this sad. babies are just beautiful, at any age. i guess all ages have pros and cons, but to say a child is boring? some people struggle to have children, im sure they'd want a 'boring' child. i've grown up with babies all round me, theres currently 13 children in our family, ranging from newborns to tweens, and they're all so adorable and fun. I love cuddling newborns. I can sit there for ages just holding or watching a newborn sleep. they're so small and beautiful. i know i'd cherish every moment of my childs life, because it does go very quickly.

#16 MightyMummy

Posted 11 March 2010 - 09:44 PM

QUOTE (diary~dad @ 21/11/2008, 09:04 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Now with a new baby on the way, and with Frances having just turned three, I feel empowered enough to admit that I find babies pretty boring for the first year, but to me toddlers are God€™s own creatures.

Are babies boring? Are they more exciting for mum than they are for dad?  And are toddlers God€™s own creatures?


ABSOLUTELY babies are worse than watching paint dry! Watching paint dry doesn't get you covered in poo, spit and vomit. Watching paint dry allows you to multitask into things you actually WANT to do. And watching paint dry isn't work.

Toddlers on other hand are REAL PEOPLE...they have opinions and can express them. They have a view on life, the universe and everything. They have passions and no wanting to be rocked 24/7 and BF every hour round the clock doesn't count for a newborn.

My friends call me a Dad in disguise because women aren't supposed to find newborns irritating, boring, oppressive and useless. My DH is in complete agreement. Even when DS1 was an infant, we would cringe to find ourselves talking about how he'd gurgled or rolled over or the time he vomited on me 2 mins after takeoff on a 24 hour flight. It just showed how little there was room or in our lives at that time that this was all we had to talk about. Thank GOD they turn into people eventually, otherwise I wouldn't be having another!

As it is, being pregnant, I am bracing for another 18 months or so of boredom and oppression before I can get my life back and add to it with true interaction.

If I could defer my 12 months mat leave until the child was 3 I would. I'd much rather spend a year at home with a 3 year old than a newborn. And I actually think it makes more differene to the child at that age too. Newborns don't need Mum per se. They need total 100% attention, it doesn't really matte who they get it from (and personally next time I'll be outsourcing as much as possible of it to a trusted adult). Luckily this time 3 eager grandparents live nearby.

And who on EARTH can say with a straight face that it goes quickly? My DS1 is 5 years old and trust me those first 2 years took 20 years to pass and the next 3 only took 3 years. The first 2 years can't go fast enough. And everyone said at the time that same trite statement and also "you'll regret you didn't cherish it". Well I don't at all. What's to cherish about work work and more work with no rewards? Little people are so rewarding that having the work is not an issue and its so much LESS work anyway it barely counts.

I'll miss the 2-5 years for sure but I would trade a lot to just plain skip the first 2.

Edited by MightyMummy, 11 March 2010 - 09:48 PM.


#17 on the contrary

Posted 12 March 2010 - 07:20 AM

I'm glad this blog goes some way to acknowledging the tedious monologues that non-parents have to endure from new parents.

We really don't care for daily updates from your poo factories.  You really don't have to look that closely to see our eyes glaze over, or alternatively dart from side to side looking for a quick escape. Then there's the regular email updates, along with irksome photos of the little wretch.  You'd think this generation invented parenthood the way they carry on.

Whatever you might think, kids to us really aren't that special; in fact the more we  hear about them and (god-forbid) see them up close the more we thank our lucky stars we paid close attention to contraception.

#18 Penguin78

Posted 12 March 2010 - 11:10 AM

babies aren't there for your entertainment.

of course they are work.

if i am lucky enough that my baby sticks and i receive him or her this year, i know i will get tired and upset and feel lonely and like a feedbag, but i am not having a baby because its easy. i am having a baby because i want to nuture and grow another human being with my DH and to have a family.

i'm with you organic-sab...

but we are all different and thats ok....

#19 dodge101

Posted 12 March 2010 - 01:01 PM

You friend Will is due for a screamer!  

We have a lovely daugther but with reflux, colic, 2 attempts at sleep school, 6 weeks of supervision with a pedeatric sleep doctor and 18 months of sleep deprevaition we could hardly say that our life with a baby (now toddler) is boring!

#20 greentea

Posted 12 March 2010 - 01:08 PM

QUOTE
We have a lovely daugther but with reflux, colic, 2 attempts at sleep school, 6 weeks of supervision with a pedeatric sleep doctor and 18 months of sleep deprevaition we could hardly say that our life with a baby (now toddler) is boring!


Agree!!  I had one of those, far from boring!

#21 Lifesgood

Posted 12 March 2010 - 04:18 PM

I hear you diary-dad. Whilst my own DD was fascinating every moment from birth, other babies are interesting for, oh, 5 minutes and then give me a toddler any day.

DD has become more an more wonderful with each passing year, we are mourning the end of '3' and loving the beginning of '4'.

Excuse me while I sort this tantrum out now....

#22 koiles

Posted 12 March 2010 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (dodge101 @ 12/03/2010, 02:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You friend Will is due for a screamer!  

We have a lovely daugther but with reflux, colic, 2 attempts at sleep school, 6 weeks of supervision with a pedeatric sleep doctor and 18 months of sleep deprevaition we could hardly say that our life with a baby (now toddler) is boring!

I've got one of these too...boring definitely isn't the right word but I do find banging my head against a brick wall much more entertaining than dealing with DS a lot of the time. I can't wait for the day he's old enough to actually tell me what the heck is wrong with him as my super sleuth mind-reading skills are pretty sub-par.

#23 ***MEZ***

Posted 12 March 2010 - 07:44 PM

Seriously, how mundane is this issue?  yyawn.gif

#24 diary~dad

Posted 12 March 2010 - 07:49 PM

Not half as mundane as that reply!! Thanks for the creative input!!!

#25 MightyMummy

Posted 12 March 2010 - 09:01 PM

QUOTE (Penguin78 @ 12/03/2010, 12:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
babies aren't there for your entertainment.

of course they are work.

if i am lucky enough that my baby sticks and i receive him or her this year, i know i will get tired and upset and feel lonely and like a feedbag, but i am not having a baby because its easy. i am having a baby because i want to nuture and grow another human being with my DH and to have a family.

i'm with you organic-sab...

but we are all different and thats ok....


And until you have one you will have no idea just HOW boring it is being home with a newborn. I'm with the OP - give me a toddler any day but spare me the first 2 years.




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