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So confused about sleep

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#1 Tetinks

Posted 15 June 2008 - 08:04 PM


My DD is 4 months and her sleeping patterns have recently changed a lot.

She used to sleep from 7pm until 4am, have a quick feed then sleep again until 7 or 8am. Now she is waking once or twice more at night for a feed. I don't like it, but i can live with it!

However the real problem is settling her... We used to just put her in bed at 7pm after her feed and wouldn't hear from her again until 4am, but now she is crying and taking up to 2 hours to settle - it is exhausting!

We have tried everything we can think of and nothing seems to help.

I am thinking about using gentle controlled comforting with her, but all the books say to wait until 6 months at least. I am fine with that, but what do I do now?!? I have tried putting her in bed awake & asleep, settling in the cot and in my arms but nothing seems to work.

I should also add that she settles beautifully during the day. I put her down awake and 90% of the time she setles herself to sleep and is able to resettle herself if/when she wakes... so I know she can do it, she just doesn't seem to want to/be able to at night.

Any advice?!

#2 poss71

Posted 15 June 2008 - 08:41 PM

Hi, you could try putting her to bed 15 - 30 min later and see if that helps.  If you are taking 2 hours to settle her anyway it shouldn't affect her sleep too much and may even help.

Also, have you thought about any external noise (or lack of it) around that time that might be affecting her?  If the usual dinner preparation or quiet chat/TV watching that you do isn't going on that might be a reason. We have an exhaust fan in the bathroom that we turn on in the evenings to make white noise, as we're at the other end of the house and she can't hear us.  Same idea works if you have more noise going on than usual too...

Good luck!

Edited by poss71, 15 June 2008 - 08:44 PM.

#3 Etcetera

Posted 16 June 2008 - 02:57 PM

I don't have any advice but wanted to tell you that there is a big developmental chagne that happens around 4 months, so what you are going through is absolutely normal. You may just have to ride it out.

#4 Chockybits

Posted 16 June 2008 - 05:02 PM

Claireabell, my DS is 4 months old and night sleeps have really changed for us too. Bedtime was about 7ish and then he would wake for a feed about 10-10:30 and then again around 4. I used to be able to feed him, pop him back in his bassinette awake, jump back into bed and go to sleep. He did have a week or so prior to that of skipping the 4am feed too...but not anymore! He's now waking several times throughout the night and won't go to sleep on his own anymore either. He has moved into a cot in his own room though so that could be playing a big part. He won't take the dummy anymore either and the only way I can calm him down is to let him suck on my finger.

Sorry, I don't have any advice, but just thought I'd let you know that we're having issues too. I think there's a good possibility that my DS is teething, but I guess I'll know if a tooth pops up! I'm hoping this is just another phase our bubs are going through as it's quite tireing hey!

#5 felicitous

Posted 20 June 2008 - 11:46 PM

Clareabelle, I dont have any advice either but i am in the same boat here.  In the past week my solid night routine is gone.  I have resorted to driving her around the block, rocking her etc.  The energy i have had to put in is crazy.  Even then these methods are not working half the time as well.  I was also hoping teething might be the answer but i am stating to question this as so many seem to be experiencing the same thing.

#6 ceedee81

Posted 21 June 2008 - 11:20 AM

Clareabell we were in the same pg dig.  The last four days & nights all sense of any routine here has gone speeding out the door at an alarming rate.   Jayden has been the perfect baby up until now......  ohmy.gif  

He has taken to wanting to feed every hour  ohmy.gif  rant.gif  ohmy.gif  and there is nothing I can do to change it.  He is flat out refusing the dummy and wont let it anywhere near his mouth and will only accept my nipple   rant.gif  to stop the screaming and by screaming it sounds like he is in pain and nothing will calm.  I am sooooo exhausted.  sad.gif

Dp has even moved to the spare room because Jayden has moved into our bed  blush.gif until we get past this stage.

I have just got him off to sleep now and I did a sneaky slip the nipple out slip the dummy in but I couldnt get it all the way in so I just rubbed his gums with it and he seemed to really enjoy it  biggrin.gif   so this now has me thinking that he is definately teething.  

I have asked dp to get some bonjella and a nubby teething dummy I saw at target (it has massage nodules near the base) on his way home from work.

I am  hands.gif this will help and it will pass soon, I dont know how much more my nipples or me for that matter can take!!!

#7 Tetinks

Posted 21 June 2008 - 02:34 PM

Thank you girls

It is HUGELY comforting to know i am not the only one!

I don't have any advice but wanted to tell you that there is a big developmental chagne that happens around 4 months, so what you are going through is absolutely normal. You may just have to ride it out.

Almond eyes that is really reassuring. i have heard a heap about 4 months being a tricky stage but i am still unsure of exactly what is developing at this time IYKWIM. i am so curious i have ordered a book on developmental milestones but it hasn't arrived yet.

Thanks again to everyone and Ceedee it's good to see you again!

#8 chat

Posted 21 June 2008 - 02:43 PM

It's so common for their sleep to go to crap at around 4 months cry1.gif  Perhaps try putting her to bed a little later, or maybe giving her a comfort item (could be separation anxiety).

My baby's sleep seems to go to the dog house every couple of months laughing2.gif  but she's a happy easy going girl, so that's OK LOL.

#9 watchthemgrow

Posted 22 June 2008 - 11:22 PM

ahhhhhh things are only just starting to settle for us now, dont tell me in a months time its going to go down hill again!!!

#10 rubesmummy

Posted 22 June 2008 - 11:50 PM

oh girls i feel your pain!

so many of us have posted on here about our bubs waking at 4 months, myself one of them, and it is soooo hard to go through it when they were previously sleeping through

id just like to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
My DD is now nearly 5 months and right on 4 months she started doing this, and as a pp said and my CHN said, 4 months is really full on for bubs. There is so much happening that it can all get a bit much at night, they dream dream away and it can make them wake (sorry i have posted this advice previously so im sorry to you all who have listened to me ramble on previous posts!)
all i did was try and resettle as much as possible and not feed so they dont get used to it (yes and i know some may not agree with me on this one ). If i did feed just gave 100ml and put back to sleep.

My DD is now almost back to normal, she gets up now sometime between 5 and 6.30am, after going to bed at about 7.30/8pm. As long as its around this time i feed her and then she sleeps another 1/1.5 hours,

so my advice is hang in there it will get better (hopefully) just thought id share my experience

good luck

#11 Tetinks

Posted 23 June 2008 - 11:27 AM

id just like to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!


#12 chat

Posted 23 June 2008 - 11:31 AM

ahhhhhh things are only just starting to settle for us now, dont tell me in a months time its going to go down hill again!!!

Haha I think it depends on the little person wink.gif  They have these normal (common) sleep changes and growth spurts, but you get one like Miss Poppy every now and then. She's such a happy quiet baby so I can't complain. Yesterday her day started at 530am, she had 2 x 40 min sleeps all day and went to bed around 730pm. She was as happy as anything grin.gif  This morning she has slept beautifully, catching up I suspect. She never sleeps as well on the weekends with all the excitement of her big sisters around.

Edited by chat, 23 June 2008 - 11:32 AM.

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