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Please Give Me Urgent Advice

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#51 Spark

Posted 20 August 2007 - 03:13 PM

I know this is a tough situation for you but you MUST CONTACT THE POLICE.  And even if nothing ends up happening, at least you would have hopefully achieved something, even if it's as little as getting those horrible women to change their behaviour.

This kind of thing can do serious damage to a child so I urge you to take whatever action necessary to protect not only your child but others in their care now and in the future.

Can you imagine what else they're doing???

#52 Spark

Posted 20 August 2007 - 03:23 PM

I'd also like to add that the longer you wait to make a police complaint, the more time those scumbags are given to get their stories straight.

If you haven't already, write down precise, detailed notes about what happened.  Time, description of the other children, how your son was afterwards, EVERYTHING.

#53 LemonDelicious

Posted 20 August 2007 - 03:26 PM

DH and I have just been chatting about this and if you'll forgive the insensitivity, we can't understand why you haven't gone to the police by now.  Why waste time waiting to hear back from ABC when it's clearly just giving them the time to come up with some lies to cover their tracks?

You have a duty to protect your child here and by not contacting the police you are giving them more of a chance to get away with this.

#54 Queenslander

Posted 20 August 2007 - 03:39 PM

would I please forgive her. She said that would never discipline kids like that again and that it was wrong.

Her saying these things and asking you to forgive her is CLEARLY showing that she totally understood what she was doing. and KNEW it was wrong. She should never be allowed to work in childcare again.

#55 charlie23

Posted 20 August 2007 - 04:42 PM


You can lodge a complaint with the NCAC (ABC centres are required to go through Accreditation and they will be registered as such), I have attached the link  here for you.

Please use this to complain about your son's treatment at the hands of that bully, she will continue this behaviour until she is stopped.


#56 juliavc

Posted 20 August 2007 - 05:41 PM

Any chance you can talk to the parents of the other 2 kids who were being egged on to push your child?
I am sure that I would like to know if my child was being told to retalliate in such a way to a defenseless child.  I think that issue needs to be addressed as well as the treatment your poor boy was given.

#57 ~twoplusone~

Posted 20 August 2007 - 05:55 PM

ohmy.gif OMG ohmy.gif  OMG  ohmy.gif  OMG

I couldn't pass this post without replying, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now.  How horrible for your DS.

As mentioned in PP a lawyer would be a good idea, also have you thought about going on a Current Affairs type show like Today Tonight or A Current Affair as too many incidents get swept under the carpet and having the media involved would definately make ABC Centres stand up and take notice.  I know it is very distressing for your family but to get it out there and make other parents aware of what is going on when we leave our kids in care.

{{{hugs}}} to you and your son.


#58 ~Billy~

Posted 20 August 2007 - 08:36 PM

Hi Edel80

Just wanted to check up and see how things went today. I was thinking of you this morning but was working so unable to log on until now  wacko.gif .

Just wanted to comment on a couple of things, firstly your comment about not standing up for yourself.  I think many of us could probably relate to that.  Sitting at a keyboard saying how furious we are is one thing (and I think the general consensus is that we are all fuming on your behalf), but to actually verbalise this and confront people is entirely another.  It's a very difficult thing to do, just wanted you to know that I understand that.  Have faith in your ability as a mum to stand up and fight for her child - you can do it, regardless of what we here or other people say, you will do what feels right for you and your child and at the end of the day that's all that really matters.

I like the idea of finding the other children's mothers.  If the closing of ranks continues to get tighter (which has been my experience too with ABC) you really can become stuck with the your word versus theirs scenario.

Lastly, just wanted to relay my absolute shock that the director wasn't going to do anything about this for two days!  FGS - wonder what she'd do if this was HER child!  That is unbelievable!

If you want to take the softly, softly approach I would attempt to contact the area manager as well as go with your original plan of a letter with a copy to the governing body.

Oh, mate *Sigh*.  This is really yuck, I don't envy you.  Thanks for dropping in and letting us know how you went.


P.S. An email address for Head Office (from which I received a response immediately) was info@childcare.com.au

Edited by Billy.123, 20 August 2007 - 08:59 PM.

#59 jusstyce

Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:02 PM

What a complete and utter BULLY!!! She should not be working with children and NEVER be allowed to again.
This will be pushed under the carpet if you aren't persistant.
Good luck with it all. IMO This staff member should be suspended immediately.
I hope your little boy is alright. And I hope you can trust other centres in the future. They aren't all bad.

#60 edel80

Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:20 PM

Hi, Yes i did start to really  rant.gif  when it hit home that ABC were doing nothing for two days.  I agree with all your posts...so what if the area manager is out of town, find someone who isnt to start the investigation!!  Tonight I cant stop think about the  dev (6).gif  who did this to my son and the fact she just rocked up to work like a typical monday morning. I really felt sick when I heard her voice on the phone this morning. Anyway this afternoon i sent a very firm email to the area director saying that ABC's response is not good enough and I will follow this up with head office in the morning.  I think i may end up just reporting this to the police tomorrow like many of you are advising.  the dept of communites were great and were starting proceedures straight away.

I have absolutley no idea who the other children were so cant possibly find their parents.  Actually given the darkness outside and the fact the kids were still wearing hats i'd have trouble picking them out again i think.  My sole focus in my state of shock and anger at witnessing the incident was really on my boy and the teacher as I said the children actually doing the bullying i would never think to blame and as such did not really take much notice of them, i hope that makes sense. Most of the discussion with the teacher took place outside by the time we went back inside the children had been collected as the second teacher took them inside soon after my arrival.  Unfortunately those parents would not have been able to hear or see any discussion that took place.  

My boy has only been attending the centre less than three months so i have basically no contacts with any parents at all.

#61 ~Catherine~

Posted 20 August 2007 - 09:24 PM

I think if the police weren't contacted by now, it may be getting too late .... I feel that they aren't going to do much about it. By tomorrow it has been 3 days already. If you can I would go to a station now or try and call one.

Edited by ~Catherine~, 20 August 2007 - 09:24 PM.

#62 juliavc

Posted 20 August 2007 - 10:51 PM

as I said the children actually doing the bullying i would never think to blame and as such did not really take much notice of them, i hope that makes sense

Of course that makes sense.
By my previous post, I did not mean to blame the other kids involved.  I meant that their parents should be told that their children were being encouraged to bully another child, which in my opinion is just WRONG on so many levels.  I would certainly want to know about it if my child was involved so I could explain that it is not acceptable behaviour.

At the end of the day though, you only need to look after your own child.  When I think of what that horrible woman put him through, I feel physically sick.  And to think she is responsible for the care of children!  rant.gif

#63 *JAC*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 11:02 PM

Stand up for your little boy, and any other child that would/could be affected by this evil witch.  Go to the police, go to the newspapers, go to your local MP.  Take it as high as you can.  Don't let them get away with it.  I pulled my son out of an ABC due to negligence - I took it as high as I thought I could have, but it was swept under the carpet.

How much of a bother would it be to repeat your story to a police officer?  The centre and the woman should be accountable for their actions.

#64 Spark

Posted 20 August 2007 - 11:10 PM

Isn't it law that this should be reported to the police, seeing as it's abuse of children?  If so, then the aide should be reporting this:


"Mandatory reporting

The following persons are required by law to report harm or suspected harm to a child (a child is any person under 18 years of age):

    * an authorised officer, employee of the Department of Child Safety or a person employed in a departmental care service or licensed care service"

I'm assuming ABC falls under a licensed care service, so the aide must report this.

Not only that but you can't assume that these people, or people connected to your centre, are not reading this forum and coming up with a defence.

I'm sorry, but sending email complaints just isn't good enough, especially when there's a bloody good chance this will get covered up.

So have you reported this to the police yet?

#65 *JAC*

Posted 20 August 2007 - 11:16 PM

I just wanted to come back and say that emails aren't going to cut it.  If you don't have the confidence, then get your DH to call whoever wants to (and doesn't want to!) listen.

#66 *Kayla*

Posted 21 August 2007 - 10:17 AM


Just wanted to quickly add, from the point of view of a Police Officers wife, that it is not too late to contact the Police, and please remember, that it is not as easy as rining or going to the local station and making a report, these are children involved and you can't just interview them to find out what happened. If you need a few extra days before you decide to take it to the Police, then take those days, see how ABC respond and if nothing is being done, then talk to the Police. People can wait days, weeks even months before reporting things to the Police, the most important thing is to take notes the whole way through and keep copies of all correspondence, logs of all phone calls, copies of emails and your own notes; all dated.

Don't be pressured into going to the Police, my DH, who is the cop, said that he would, but understands that when it is your child, it is alot easier said than done. You could always ring your local station for some advice, without actually making a report.

Good luck!


#67 leesieandkids

Posted 21 August 2007 - 11:24 AM

OMG!!!! your poor child!

What was the woman thinking? And also the other boys they have now been taught to bully and by a teacher of all ppl so they will think it's ok to do what they did.

I feel so sorry for all the children involved how scary and confusing it must all be.

Im so proud of the way you handled it I don't think I would of been so nice.

I am childcare trained and have worked in that field for many years from a young age and I have never seen a carer behave in that way thats just not on at all.


#68 edel80

Posted 21 August 2007 - 03:44 PM

cry1.gif  cry1.gif   Well today has just been so awful.  This morning i rang head office and they said they had their team out at the centre conducting interviews and would ring me back later with some answers.  Later the area manager phoned back to say the interviews had been completed and now it was just up to the performance manager and human relations to keep monitering and that can include many things inc staff training. ARGHHH please dont tell me that is all this lady is going to get!!!   The area manager refused to give me ANY details of what if any disciplinary action had been taken.  She spoke in a very cold controlled manner the whole time and made me feel rediculous for being so emotional on the phone.  i did say that to her and she said " she was representing "the company" so needs to be mindful of what she says.  I did say well i do need to know if that lady is still working there as my boy will not be returning.  She said well yes she is so if you would like me to cancel your enrolment for you or transfer you to another centre I can do that, oh does he have any belongings i can collect for you.  Seems they just want me gone and forgoten about fast  rant.gif   rant.gif  I cant believe they would still let a staff member work at a centre after this abusive incident.  What on earth is this world coming when our kids can suffer such abuse form a child care worker and it to be acceptable.  I just feel so sick about all of this.

I have rung the police and the child protection dept are calling back.  The dept of cmmunites are great but can not sack the lady that can only be done by ABC.  They can strip the centres license if they are failing to provide adequate care to children etc etc

#69 KateMaynard

Posted 21 August 2007 - 03:52 PM


I've been watching this thread and had to post. You poor thing. Chin up and don't stop until this woman has learnt a lesson. I can't believe they would protect a person like that that works so closely to kids. I thought the whole idea of the changes to working with children was to protect them from people like this.

I'm a school teacher and I'd lose my job if i was to stand over a student like that. It's disgusting that a company thinks of their image before they think of a child's well being. More fool are they tho, they tend to forget that people talk. It doesn't take long before it will be passed around. And by the looks of OP, I don't think ABC have a very good reputation. Which is a shame for those centres that do the right thing and follow the law.

Enough of my rambling. Just remember be strong, you are going to get through this. And 'karma' will catch up with that other woman.


#70 Marsbars

Posted 21 August 2007 - 03:59 PM

Please dont give up- keep taking steps in a direction that is going to help you make sure that this lady doesnt get away with it.

I would be going to the police if you havent already.  Do it and they will realise how serious you are.

#71 ~Billy~

Posted 21 August 2007 - 04:48 PM

Oh you poor, poor thing.

Just as many of us feared, they're attempting the "sweep under the carpet" maneouvre.  They seem so adept at this....

I think it might be time to step it up a bit (if you feel you can).  Maybe your MP, local paper, etc.

It really depends on how far you want to take this, for at the end of the day it will affect you and your family.

I know that for me, the thought of this woman continuing to be in a position of care for children would be enough to spur me on to pursue this as far as I possibly could, but this will require energy and persistance.

Not normally one to do this, it always sounds a bit corny, but big hugs and strength coming your way.


#72 ~Goggles~

Posted 21 August 2007 - 04:52 PM

I had an incident earlier in the year at a CCC as well. They left my 9 month old daughter to scream and cry her little lungs out in a cot and it was only that i made a surprise visit at the time that i knew.
The staff lied and tried to cover their tracks, saying that she had only been put in her cot a minute beforehand which was a blatant lie as there was a huge patch of tears in the cot from where she had been laying and she was a hysterical mess  rant.gif  
I packed her up and took her home and then rang to say she would NOT be returning to the centre. The staff just stood there while i packed up her stuff and no-one said anything.
i contacted the Area manager and was told that the Group Leader was away for the day and the girls were unorganised and she would look into it further.
I know deep down that nothing would be done so i rang DOCS and spoke to a lovely lady who took my complaint and said she would most definitely make a visit and investigate.
I have since heard that there is a new Director and things are much better which i am glad to hear.

Sorry to take over your thread, but i hope you can get someone to take notice and get this woman out of the centre!  rant.gif The police and DOCS should take action and put pressure on the centre to fire her!

#73 mellyeli

Posted 21 August 2007 - 05:05 PM

edel80, Im really shocked that you were treated that way by the area manager. Like I wrote Previously I work for ABC and I really believed she would have been sacked immediately. At my last centre (ABC) one of the staff members was dismissed within 2 days of a parent complaining about the staff member  threatening to lock her child in the bathroom, the parent was standing behind her. I whitnessed it and gave my side of the story. The parent notified the director, she called us in for an interview and then head office investigated the incident, she was sacked that day.
In saying that my Director was very professional and would not tolorate this behaviour.
The staff member is now working for council but can no longer work in any ABC centre anywhere. So basically if you want anything to be done you need to file a report against this lady, so that she cannot work in any CCC.

I know ABC gets rubbished alot and its really sad, because I am a professional teacher who loves my job and the centre I work for. Its the staff that make the centre what it is not the company. Alot of incidents happen in private, council and family day care centres, its just not on.

#74 *Kayla*

Posted 21 August 2007 - 05:51 PM

Am so sorry they are treating you like this, just wanted to say keep trying; and as a last resort you could always take this to the papers, or threaten to if they don't take action. I know, easier said than done when I'm not in you position.

Good Luck.


#75 Jenno

Posted 21 August 2007 - 07:05 PM

This is a terrible situation for your son to be in.

After the reaction from the staff and the chain of command I would be pulling him out of there.

If this happened to my girls I could not leave them in a situation where the staff have done this (and who knows how many other times to your son or other kids).

If they are not willing to take your sons safety and mental health seriously, they are now worthy of looking after your son.

Hope things work out for you, it really isn't good enough

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