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Advice or regrets for newbies

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#51 Redonk

Posted 01 January 2007 - 07:48 PM

They are evil, inaccurate things of pure evil!!
They rarely bring anything more than false hopes &/or false disappointment.

#52 Redonk

Posted 05 January 2007 - 08:05 AM

Don't forget to register for the Medicare Safety Net!!
You can do it online here.
I cannot stress how important this is for Aussie ACers - it saved us hundreds of dollars!!!
So thankful to be Aussie!

#53 mandy1973

Posted 12 January 2007 - 03:43 PM

Thanks so much for all this terrific advice.  Looks like DH and I will be starting ICSI soon, have got the referal from our gynae, now just have to make that appointment.

Edited by StillRoz, 14 September 2007 - 06:49 AM.

#54 lilymurray

Posted 15 February 2007 - 11:31 AM

edited by lilymurray

Edited by lilymurray, 23 November 2008 - 11:47 AM.

#55 teabags

Posted 26 February 2007 - 11:16 AM

Be prepared for a vile AF if your cycle fails! You may need a day off work and a good supply of pain killers/chocolate etc.
I know not everyone experiences this and I hope you don't, but my two stim cycles both ended with a very, very painful AF.  I normally have very uncomfortable periods and take Ponstan or Naprogesic, but post stim IVF AF was actually a bit frightening for me and I hadn't heard/read anything on this before.

Edited by Saffi, 28 February 2007 - 06:45 AM.

#56 beabea

Posted 03 May 2007 - 01:56 PM

You will get more out of your specialist if you wait until you are in a clear and calm frame of mind at the consult.  Try to give yourself a break between hearing a poor result and any planning or post-cycle appointments.  Even half a week's break can do wonders.

#57 pipb

Posted 12 July 2007 - 04:04 PM

That's great advise for a newbie!!!  DH and I found out that we were moving to the USA for 3 years at the same time that we found out that we needed to go down the ICSI path. We have been TTC for 2 yrs and due to DH low sperm ICSI is the only option for us. This is our first attempt. I am having my EPU tomorrow and my 2WW is also my last two weeks of work before we fly out at the end of August.

I can assure you that having sooooo much to do in so little time is really helping to take the edge of everything. Our FS was aware that we were working to a really tight timeframe, and we were lucky with where I was in my cycle.  So fingers crossed and all going well, DH and I will be flying to LA approx 8wks pregnant! If it doesn't work, I will be back in 1 yr for a holiday and will try again then.  At least I will have something else very exciting (not better, just different)to look forward to.

Good luck to all the newbies.....  I am grateful we have the modern medicine to give us more hope.

Me - 32 (in 1 week)
DH - 37 (in 2 weeks)
TTC - 2 yrs
#1 - ICSI

#58 Crescent~Moon

Posted 05 August 2007 - 11:43 PM

I just wanted to say Thankyou all so much for all the wonderful tips. You have given me a head start even though I won't be starting my IVF journey for another 12 months.
Thankyou original.gif

#59 knieally

Posted 03 December 2007 - 07:48 AM

Make sure you set your alarm clock for all your meds. I made the mistake of relying on my memory for my meds which didn't help me one day.

#60 christophersmum

Posted 04 December 2007 - 08:03 AM

Hi, I am new to EB but not to fertility.  Is there anyone here going through Fertility Gold Coast?  I have my first appointment this week.....We have just moved interstate and have to start again from scratch with new doctors, specialists, etc....


#61 utter-bliss

Posted 06 June 2008 - 11:26 PM

What I have learnt:
1. Shop around until you are comfortable with a specialist. Just because they are recommended does not mean that they will be right for you. Research ask questions. They are expensive but in the long run it will be worth it.

2. Make sure they test for EVERYTHING and don't miss something out. We found out that our prior Fertility Center did not do enough that could be done before going for IVF. They seemed to only want to get us on that path.

3. You are the boss tell them what you would like done. If you are not comfortable tell them.

4. Remember the nurses are people too. Sometimes we can get a little poopy  rant.gif  at them when they are just trying to help.

5. Try to get diet, stress level.. etc sorted out as it will make the time a little easier and smoother.

Thats just a few things I learnt.

#62 sigh

Posted 31 August 2009 - 06:00 PM

Just wanted to say thanks for this topic. I did help me. I have now just finished my first IVF cycle.

The question I wanted answered was: is IVF worth it even if it doesn't work? Although I don't yet know if it hasn't I think that it has been worth it because I've felt like I've been doing something about it. I think we'd have regretted not trying and now I've had the transfer and it's still uncertain if it's worked or not I am happier that we tried. This is despite all the tears and all the "it's not fair".

I bought a diary just for this, i used it for writing down the doses and what I took when, information they gave me and for the appointments and I can chuck the whole thing out if it doesn't work. I got it because I was concerned in all the stress of it that I'd forget what I'd been told.

#63 sunflower1969

Posted 03 September 2009 - 02:38 AM

QUOTE (mermaid @ 14/04/2005, 04:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Expat I can only echo your sentiments........the other things I learned was not to put my life on hold.

"Should we plan that holiday for next year?....What if we're pregnant by then?"
"Should I apply for that job?....what if I'm pg by then"
"Should we get a puppy now OR wait till we have a bub?"


After a while DH & I decided that we could no longer keep putting our lives on hold. Lucky we didn't, cos our "puppy" is now nearly 3 years old!!!

Good luck to all

Right Im booking that holiday, for three years we have put things off... Pregnant women can travel anyhow...?? Thanks


#64 neaka

Posted 21 September 2009 - 07:38 PM

What ive learnt so far (still going unfortunately so im sure ill add to this!)

1) Shop around for your FS from the outset. I stuck with my FS through 2 IUI's and decided before starting IVF to switch as i wasn't happy with her. I got some recs on EB and found a FS i am very happy with, it is so important.

2)Before you start IVF, use the time to get healthy in body and in mind. Whether it be yoga, gym, walking, running whatever...exercise at least 3 times a week. Cut right back on alcohol and caffeine.

3)After your first stim cycle wait a month before you do a FET. It take your body abit of time to recover from the stim meds . At the end of the day you want to transfer an embie into a good environment.

4)read read read!! Books, EB whatever you can.....Knowledge is gold.

5)If in doubt ASK! The nurses are there to answer your questions no matter how silly. Use your knowledge to question your FS's decisions. Nobody is perfect and even Dr's make mistakes.

Thats all so far, im still learning so ill be back!

#65 Frostysmum

Posted 28 December 2009 - 09:51 AM

I find myself nodding my head reading this thread. A few things I want to re-emphasize is:
1) Go with the doctor that you're comfortable with, but also don't feel you can't challenge his/her opinion or go ask for second opinions.
2) Beware of the side effects of the drugs, the OCP cause my skin to break out, the FSH and trigger sever bloating, constipation, and the Crinone cause perineal cramps.
3) Take your time (off work) to allow yourself to heal (body and emotions), I've been lucky to have the full support of my workplace to allow me the time off plus the emotional support as well.
4) I find confronting emotions a better way out of the downs than hiding them. I have to work with pregnant women and bubbies most days, I can't hide forever. If I need to cry to cry my eyes out in the first few days at home. DH doesn't think the emotions is normal, but as someone else said, it is perfectly normal, because we're not only grieving the loss of the embryo/fetus/failed cycle, we're also mourning the real possibility of childlessness.

#66 faithy

Posted 28 December 2009 - 04:29 PM

Great thread. DH and I are at the start of our ttc journey and am very apprehensive. I've learned a lot from reading the suggestions, thanks to everyone who has contributed so far.

#67 Lottie*

Posted 19 January 2010 - 05:01 PM

Cannot say how much this thread has helped me. We have just tried our 5th IUI, but with male factor and this was the lowest result for DH this time - we are both very down - and not hopeful. Our FS has already mentioned ICSI now, so looks like we start on this journey. We have the added complication of being in Hong Kong. Seeing a nice Australian fertility doc, so that makes it a little closer to home.   I dont think medicine is as progressive as it is in Australia and the lost in translation can be extremely challenging. so we wont enjoy as much of the soft side of this process - but i can only hope the science part of the process works to our advantage.

This has been a great introduction. Thank you to everyone for their time in putting this information up and accessible. It has been of so much help.

#68 leafgirl

Posted 29 May 2010 - 11:42 AM

Do your homework on the clinic you choose. I naively assumed most would be the same but there can be a huge difference between clinics. If you have a few cycles at one clinic and are unsuccessful think about changing.

#69 First One

Posted 13 August 2010 - 05:16 PM

Well, I'm only a soon to be second timer with IVF but some things I've learnt after my first cycle:

*Allow yourself time to feel your emotions - mine didn't hit me until mid-way through the day after my news that I was BFN.  Then I promptly burst into tears and sobbed.  And that's OK.

*If you have to wait a month to have a break before trying again, think of that time as a positive time.  I spent the first few weeks frustrated and feeling like I was wasting time doing nothing.  Until I realised I am actually doing something - I'm giving my body time to get ready again and that's the most positive thing I can do.

*Remember that AC isn't just difficult emotionally - it's physically hard too.  Take care of your body.  Be prepared for bloating!!  I found that pair of work trousers that were too big became perfect for a few weeks pre and post EPU!

#70 pundelina

Posted 05 October 2010 - 11:24 PM

Remember that it may not work. I blindly believed that once we started IVF it would only be a matter of time and repeat tries until we got a baby. I never imagined that my docs would tell me to give up.

TTC since Feb 08
then from July 09 - June 10
we did 5 IVF stim cycles
made 8 eggs total
created 6 embryos and had
1 cancelled cycle
2 cancelled transfers
2 transfers = both BFN
no more AC

Edited by pundelina, 11 October 2010 - 09:58 AM.

#71 Wacky Wobbler

Posted 06 October 2010 - 05:00 AM

My advice would be to go with the flow re: your emotions.
After my cancelled cycle I wouldn't let myself feel anything but positive feelings, I didn't let myself become sad, angry, bitter or any other emotion.
I am now paying for this. I have every emotion you can think of atm, and they are all harder to deal with when they are all together.
So let yourself cry, be angry, hate the world and throw yourself a pity party. Then start thinking of all the positive things you have in your life and allow yourself to smile and laugh!

#72 open

Posted 18 July 2011 - 08:40 PM

hi  there we are only starting ivf  . does anyone  have any  advice  for  us ?  we have to  travel  along  way  for our  ivf  . i just  want to  get  it  started .  i have  the same thing  friends / family  are also  having  babys  around me , which  does not make  it easy  for me  . ohmy.gif  sad.gif

#73 Miss Kitty-Cat

Posted 20 July 2011 - 09:59 AM

Hi Open,

I think IVF is a very personal experience. People are all going through their own personal journey - for some people it is unexplained, others it is related to a specific diagnosis. Therefore it can be hard for give advice generally on IVF...

A couple of things I would suggest:

- Be prepared for it to take (a lot) longer than you think: a lot of specialists give the "3 stim cycle/8 transfer" guideline for estimated or average success rates (depending on your individual situation of course). Some people conceive faster, others take a lot longer. But if you don't get your hopes up about falling pregnant on the first cycle you will likely cope better with the emotional rollercoaster of the journey. Look at each cycle as a chance and be prepared for the fact it might not work. Having said that, it's always good to feel positive about success. Just be balanced in your approach. The more excited you get about it (the higher you climb) the further there is to fall emotionally...

- If your clinic offers counseling, use it. It helps to talk through things and verbalise your feelings and emotions. Don't keep things inside and don't dump them on your partner - it's not fair.Infertility is not something anyone can control. A lot of people are in the same situation as you and can help you see your way through the depression of a cycle if you aren't coping well.

- Try and get your partner involved as much as possible. My DH gave me the injections. He came to the appointments with me. We did this as a team and it really helped us, mentally and emotionally to do this together. We supported each other and it made us stronger as a team.

- Be healthy in mind and body: eat well, get moderate amounts of exercise, try to sleep reasonable amounts and reduce stress. I found my successful cycle was the one where I felt the best and most relaxed. It's a cliche to say "just relax" but I found that it was the one that worked - coincidence? Perhaps, but it worked for me.

- Get on with your life: A dear friend who took 5 years to conceive her son using IVF gave me this piece of advice and it was one of the most valuable I could have been given. Don't stop doing the things you want to do. Don't put off holidays or work commitments "just in case". Live your life, don't put everything on hold. You'll only focus more on the IVF cycle and that's not healthy.

- Be prepared for the fact it might never work. I was initially afraid of starting IVF because we looked at it as our final chance to have a baby - what if it failed? Over a period of time I made peace with the fact that we might never have a child and we would be ok with that situation. No matter what, we would survive because we loved each other and I think that set me up mentally very well.

Just some general advice for you. Good luck with your TTC journey!


#74 Miss Kitty-Cat

Posted 20 July 2011 - 10:05 AM

Oh - another thing - throw out the pregnancy tests. I didn't use one when I was doing IVF. I left testing up to the professionals and didn't think about it til I did my blood test at the end of the cycle. I didn't worry about the result until then. Testing too early means a likelihood you'll end up with a negative result anyway, and blood tests are far more accurate. I think that helped me. I didn't focus on anything other than life, one day at a time.

#75 Gordo's Girl

Posted 21 July 2011 - 03:49 PM

One suggestion I can make, is don't keep the fact that you are going through IVF a secret.  Make sure people that are close to you, and those that you work closely with know what you are going through.  That way you will find people cut you some slack when you cancel on things, understand if you're "just not up for going out", or you're late for work as you've been off getting bloods and scans done.

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