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If you could live 2 lives *fluffy

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#1 Kallie88

Posted 08 April 2020 - 03:13 PM

Bit fluffy, non covid topic

If you could live your life twice, without erasing your current life from existence, what would you do differently?

Came to mind because I find myself thinking lately how good it would be if I could live this life with my kids, and before I die, go back into a parallel timeline and live my life with dh without kids too. I wouldn't want to erase them, I love my kids and appreciate our life. It's more, thinking about all the things we could have done together if we weren't tied down (physically, emotionally, financially) by having them at this young age. To have the time and energy for each other, for personal growth, for travel etc is an enticing fantasy that I don't think freedom when we're older will quite match. So it's become a random musing for me (though it holds many assumptions of course, dh and I might want to try new partners after a whole lifetime together, or singledom 😂)

#2 No Drama Please

Posted 08 April 2020 - 08:17 PM

Ooh how interesting! Thanks for adding you still get to keep your normal life too because that’s where my brain normally stops me from thinking of any alternatives without feeling anxious or worried that I’m not appreciating what I’m have lol.

I think I’d like to live totally by myself in some completely off grid location in a tiny house in either the mountains or near a lake or something and devote all my time to one single pursuit. I’m not sure exactly what but study one thing really intensely, like one type of animal or plant or a star or something.

Just learn everything it’s possible to know about one thing and forget about everything else instead of always having to think about multiple things and all the possibilities and back up alternatives to everything. Be nice I think to have your mind still and surroundings quiet and feel you can just concentrate all your energy into one thing.

#3 mpoppins92

Posted 08 April 2020 - 08:30 PM

I’d buy a ramshackle country house in some place cold and quiet and misty and write children’s books full of all the magic and characters that I don’t have time to develop now.

I’d have chickens and a bunch of rescue dogs and a big shed where DP would play around with cars and be home with me every night and not have to go away to work.

We wouldn’t have much money but we’d make do and I’d feel peaceful more often than not.

#4 seayork2002

Posted 08 April 2020 - 09:47 PM

I packed a lot in before I got married and had a child so i am not sure i have a feeling of a parallel life as such.

My constant in my life is to live overseas but i have done that before

I guess going to uni with no other responsibilities to deal with maybe?

#5 CallMeFeral

Posted 08 April 2020 - 10:00 PM

 No Drama Please, on 08 April 2020 - 08:17 PM, said:

Ooh how interesting! Thanks for adding you still get to keep your normal life too because that’s where my brain normally stops me from thinking of any alternatives without feeling anxious or worried that I’m not appreciating what I’m have lol.
This is so true. I like this phrasing!

I think I would try harder to study medicine and see how that went.
And I'd also find a different partner. We have our ups and downs but there is so much struggle. Knowing what I now know about myself, I wonder if I'd be able to choose someone more compatible.  So hopefully I get to take my knowledge from this life into the second one.
Maybe issues would be as bad with someone else, or worse, or just different. Or maybe I'd not pair up at all because I'd not compromise and nobody would match up. But I would like to have a go at being in a super functional loving and supportive relationship.

#6 8LittleAustralians

Posted 08 April 2020 - 10:03 PM

I wouldn't change much really, other than I would have studied nursing / midwifery straight from school and be working as a midwife. I love my current job and it is a very close 2nd, but it was my dream to do midwifery. I probably would also kept up with doing athletics and be running marathons all over the world with my family.

#7 BadCat

Posted 08 April 2020 - 10:28 PM


Edited by BadCat, 11 May 2020 - 08:58 PM.

#8 SkeptiHandsOnMum

Posted 08 April 2020 - 10:52 PM

 Kallie88, on 08 April 2020 - 03:13 PM, said:

If you could live your life twice, without erasing your current life from existence, what would you do differently?
Oh great, I am not going to be able to sleep tonight now, pondering this and being sure that I answer it right, because what if I bugger up my second chance?

I love this question. I hope I can come up with an answer.

#9 TinCat🐱

Posted 08 April 2020 - 11:05 PM

Education, that would then underpin everything else

Edited by TinCat🐱, 08 April 2020 - 11:06 PM.

#10 PocketIcikleflakes

Posted 09 April 2020 - 12:29 AM

Given I'm pretty sure I'm ADHD I'd like to know what would happen if I was a kid in my kids school with the additional understanding and consideration of medication, and got a diagnosis...

So not really going back in time, but wondering what opportunities I'd have had if the same supports were available for child me as there are for my DS.

#11 DaLittleEd

Posted 09 April 2020 - 12:42 AM

Maybe try to stop someone eating a bat?

Eta - on a more serious note:

I think I would have chosen a different field to study and work in (not sure what) that would be more employable. I wouldn't have had children. And preferably would have stayed single. I keep thinking "single and fabulous".

Can you imagine being single and waking up on a weekend, and just deciding what you wanted to do for the day.

Edited by DaLittleEd, 09 April 2020 - 12:47 AM.

#12 Kallie88

Posted 09 April 2020 - 08:19 AM

 SkeptiHandsOnMum, on 08 April 2020 - 10:52 PM, said:

Oh great, I am not going to be able to sleep tonight now, pondering this and being sure that I answer it right, because what if I bugger up my second chance?

I love this question. I hope I can come up with an answer.

Lol well I hope you got some sleep. I'm sure we'd all bugger up part of it anyway, it is life afterall and once you start the new path you don't know where it'll take you! But I'm really glad people are enjoying the question, I think it's a fun thought experiment

I also asked dh what he'd do last night and the silly bugger was like "I couldn't imagine not having the kids" haha, love him. His plan would be to bet on all the afl grand finals and win lots of money since he knows them all and it doesn't sound like he'd change much else. Nice to know he'd still choose me (at this point anyway lol)

#13 Bam1

Posted 09 April 2020 - 08:19 AM

No one needs to imagine being single and waking up on a weekend and deciding what to do - most of us would have had years of that and being fabulous!  Not that marriage and a family negates it either.

I might have decided to go down a medical path, which would be a bit more useful in my DH’s village than finance.

#14 PrincessPeach

Posted 09 April 2020 - 08:51 PM

I'd be interested to see what life would be like if we didnt have the kids.

I'd expect a lot more travel & a dog of some description.

#15 Zeppelina

Posted 09 April 2020 - 09:52 PM

I'd go back to my early 20s, when I had to choose between my now DH, and another man I had a very strong connection with and I've never quite stopped wondering about. I have no regrets, as such - I love my DH and our family and wouldn't trade him or them for anything, but I do wonder what the other path would have looked like.

#16 RichardParker

Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:00 PM

I need more than two lives.

#17 Froggilicious

Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:25 PM

I'd really like to live a life where my mum was still alive. Her death when I was 10 shaped so much of my growing up and the decisions I made, I have often wondered what life with her around would have been like.

#18 Treasure Island

Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:37 PM


I need more than two lives

Yeah I need a few (reincarnation anyone?).

My main side life is the one where I didn't get married (of course if I actually hadn't I know that would have made me sad). In this life I still have my old job and I bought a house my ex and I looked at before we were ready to buy our first house. It was a teeny tiny little crazy house but perfect size for 1 person and had a big yard and was about 15 min from my work so perfect for just me. I also have lots of holidays and basically do all the things I couldn't do with children.

In my third life I live in the outback.

As a single parent I will some what get to live like this after children grow up. Which also makes me feel like I never want another partner. After doing the hard yards as a single parent I want my freedom!

#19 Freddie'sMum

Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:42 PM

So DH and I left Christchurch in 2000 to come to Sydney.  We half-justified it with "but it's just a 3 hour plane flight" and we could always come back and visit.

If I could have a second life like the OP is suggesting, I wouldn't have left NZ.  I would have said to DH "let's move out of Christchurch, try another place to live within NZ".

That's what I would do differently.

#20 WaitForMe

Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:45 PM

I wouldn't choose it as a life but I'm always curious how my life would've turned out if I'd stayed with my teen love. We'd been together 6 years which is a lifetime at that age when I just decided I wanted out. He was a good man and I would've saved myself some pain and had a much simpler life, but I would've missed out on alot of interesting things I've done with DH.

I sometimes wonder what life with just one child would be like. Certainly atm it would be easier but then again despite all the fighting they also keep each other occupied quite a bit too.

#21 Jingleflea

Posted 09 April 2020 - 11:02 PM

I would have had DD earlier and maybe avoided IVF and all that came before it.

I would like to have saved more money in my 20's and learnt to drive way earlier!

I'd like to know what it's like to have sex with someone other than DH and I'd love to have lived alone for at least a few months.
I went from mum and dad's into our own home at 22 and I've been here ever since.

#22 Emm27

Posted 09 April 2020 - 11:16 PM

Hmm interesting. I did plenty of traveling before (and have done since) kids, I adore my children and DP and I are super suited to each other so I wouldn’t really do anything different there.

But if Ellen DeGeneres hadn’t cornered the market in lesbian talk show hosts I would’ve liked to give that a crack!

Edited by Emm27, 09 April 2020 - 11:17 PM.

#23 SeaPrincess

Posted 10 April 2020 - 09:10 AM

I’d have pursued a different career. I’m finally pursuing it now, but my options are extremely limited because I’m coming at it in a different way from how I would have as a school leavers.

However, that would probably prevent me from doing some of the stuff I’ve most enjoyed, particularly travel.

#24 Gudrun

Posted 10 April 2020 - 10:13 AM

My other self is a linguist who spends her whole life out in the field studying and recording global languages in remote (or not so remote) places across the globe (including Australia).  Involved with other linguists in these projects.

With regular or irregular associated lecturing engagements also around the globe (delivered in English or in European languages she is proficient in, in Europe).

She is single and without kids as a choice to live like that and it not be complicated.  Devotion to craft!

#25 Dianalynch

Posted 10 April 2020 - 10:45 AM

I would have studied something in the health field, stayed in a clinical role, and worked less hours in my 20s and 30s than I did as a management professional. I would have devoted more time to personal health and hobbies. Work to live, not live to work. I would still have married dh and had our two kids. We would have lived somewhere a little less ‘rat race’, somewhere regional perhaps.

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