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Tell me about your relationship with social media


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#1 SkeptiHandsOnMum

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:09 PM

What more can I say? Can you tell me about your relationship with social media? Has anyone stepped back from it successfully? Did you have to go cold turkey, or were you able to ration yourself well?

I am trying to step back from mine, but then I am really missing the social contact, and it is one place where I stay in contact with most of my friends.

How are you and social media? What works for you, if you are someone prone to getting sucked into its vortex?

#2 just roses

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:34 PM

I’m sucked into the vortex.

I have to use FB for work (and use Twitter professionally though don’t have to) so it’s not possible to avoid for any length of time.

I would like to be able to step back more.

#3 gabbigirl

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:36 PM

View Postjust roses, on 28 March 2020 - 08:34 PM, said:

I’m sucked into the vortex.

I have to use FB for work (and use Twitter professionally though don’t have to) so it’s not possible to avoid for any length of time.

I would like to be able to step back more.
Me too. Such a waste of my time

#4 CallMeFeral

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:37 PM

I like social media. I'm a socially anxious extrovert, so it gives me people contact at controllable doses within the comfort of my home.

But I do tend to get sucked into the vortex. I have to stay cognisant of my own state and whether it's working for me or not. Sometimes when I get on to here or Facebook I feel a sense of chilling out or relaxing from the day, and that works for me. Whereas an hour or so later I feel a sense of tension, like I know I'm procrastinating on bed or work and I'm frantically avoiding something. When I notice that discomfort then social media is not for me and I need to get off (although the flesh is weak).

#5 Chchgirl

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:43 PM

It's my only relationship at the momemt 😂

I don't step away, it's beeny connection to my friends etc when I was self isolating,  it's keeping me connected to someone I want to keep connected with, and loads of my friends back in Nz while they're on lockdown and I'm stuck here!

#6 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:44 PM

i like FB - it helps me connect with friends who are O/S - family who are interstate. if people annoy me i just mute them, or ignore them. i honestly don’t get the angst with FB...i’ve taken breaks from twitter but it’s more i just don’t think to look at it for weeks on end then i get a bunch of notifications. i rarely go to linked in. i have bursts on Insta - to be truthful mainly when i’m on holidays and have something worth posting. i like looking at other people’s holiday snaps. i use what’s app for the school parenting thing - and recently colleagues have hooked up on a whats app chat due to working from home.

i like social media - i see it as a force for good. it’s the old letter writing of Austen’s times. it’s the slide nights of our childhood. it’s the nightly telephone chats, the neighbours over the fence. most of us want to connect, need to connect- SM facilitates that. (and gets shed loads of our personal data to on sell. i know the dark side)

Edited by Lucrezia Bauble, 28 March 2020 - 08:44 PM.


#7 Chchgirl

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:45 PM

Plus I like memes..

#8 SeaPrincess

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:49 PM

My social media is full of Baby Yoda, cats and dogs.

I’ve recently discovered that Step-MIL has blocked me, but knowing that has relieved some of the guilt I felt about not keeping in closer contact after FIL died. They got married after DH and I did, so she wasn’t a mother figure to us, but there was always pressure for us to call every day and visit every week, which I don’t even do with my own family.

#9 Fluffy Potatoes

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:50 PM

I deleted FB and IG two or three years ago as they were negatively impacting my anxiety. We had a lot of big health stuff going on at the time and it was all ‘let us know if you need anything’ on the socials, but in reality, nada. Between the time sucking vortex and the lazy friendships i needed to get rid of it.

It’s interesting who actually bothers to keep in touch when you have to pick up the phone and make an effort (and that includes me!).

#10 Tinkle Splashes

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:54 PM

I like FB for staying connected with people and Insta for seeing people’s pictures.

I belong to heaps of Facebook groups, gardening, house plants, home renos, home decorating, native plants, local community pages, recently a coronavirus group.

I don’t feel sucked into a vortex by any of it. I don’t have time to be, tbh.

#11 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 28 March 2020 - 08:55 PM

I can take or leave it most of the time.  If I don't like what I am reading I will mute people temporarily, I don't respond to everything, I don't put everything on social media either.  I do like Twitter, it's quick and easy.

I will probably spend more time on social media as things go into lockdown, only to keep up with people.

#12 Chchgirl

Posted 28 March 2020 - 09:13 PM

View PostTinkle Splashes, on 28 March 2020 - 08:54 PM, said:

I like FB for staying connected with people and Insta for seeing people’s pictures.

I belong to heaps of Facebook groups, gardening, house plants, home renos, home decorating, native plants, local community pages, recently a coronavirus group.

I don’t feel sucked into a vortex by any of it. I don’t have time to be, tbh.

Yes I've got a few groups as well.

#13 Gudrun

Posted 28 March 2020 - 09:16 PM

I enjoy Twitter.

#14 seayork2002

Posted 28 March 2020 - 09:16 PM

I got fb to follow my sister when i was overseas but rarely use it now

I follow celebs and authors on Twitter and tweet with them.

I keep it with fluffy book talk or random stuff with celebs

Added I probably have accounts with other social media but have no idea of what when as never used

Edited by seayork2002, 28 March 2020 - 09:21 PM.


#15 littlepickle

Posted 28 March 2020 - 09:18 PM

I don't have a facebook, intsagram etc account but i know that I am now becoming the minority. I think the main reason is that I form close relationships with a few people rather than wanting to engage in a more superficial way with lots. As a result I will sometimes miss family events / friend events because they assume that I would have seen the invitation. A positive is that people tend to engage with me on a more personal level - text, SMS and email or ideally call me.

The overriding positive is that when I want a 'technology free' day there is no anxiety related to turning my phone / ipad off for a good 24 hours.

I would think a slow approach to dis-engaging would be the way to regain some control back.

#16 BadCat

Posted 28 March 2020 - 09:18 PM

.

Edited by BadCat, 11 May 2020 - 09:14 PM.


#17 Kaz83

Posted 28 March 2020 - 10:24 PM

I had FB for ages but stepped away from it about 3 - 4 years ago now as I was wasting too much time and my eyes were starting to get sore from all the rolling!!

I then tried Insta for a while and much preferred it... it seems a lot more positive than FB. Then one day I decided to give it a break and have never logged back in. Deleted the app and everything. I have come to realise that outside my extremely small circle of family and friends noboby actually gives a sh*te about our lives. And I dont mean this in a 'woe is me' way. People have their own lives. Their own dramas. Their own victories. They scroll past and press like and thats the extent of it. Which is fine.

#18 CallMeFeral

Posted 28 March 2020 - 10:47 PM

View PostKaz83, on 28 March 2020 - 10:24 PM, said:

I have come to realise that outside my extremely small circle of family and friends noboby actually gives a sh*te about our lives. And I dont mean this in a 'woe is me' way. People have their own lives. Their own dramas. Their own victories. They scroll past and press like and thats the extent of it. Which is fine.

It's funny because I think Facebook has shown me somewhat the opposite. I have certain people I never would have been involved with regularly face to face (generally due to distance) who are much more interested in my life (and I theirs) than I would have given credit for if not for Facebook. A friend of my mums who I never knew when mum was alive but she contacted my after she passed away, and follows our family's posts and writes to me occasionally, a friend from a US forum for whom we have watched our children grow up together but remotely, a husband-of-an-aunt-of-my-husbands in the UK whom we've met once ever and most of DH's family here doesn't really know well but over Facebook he interacts on most of my posts and 'knows' my children, has many of the same political views and enjoys the same jokes as I do. These are people I'd not know from a bar of soap, or have made brief contact with once in my life, but due to Facebook a relationship has deepened and if I were ever to travel to their respective places I would 100% visit or even stay with them, where previously I wouldn't have. And then also people like my introverted anxious cousin who won't leave the US or even agree to Facetime or have a call with my kids because it makes her too anxious, but follows their lives from a distance. So much care that geography would have eliminated but social media has to some extent brought back.

#19 autumn-mae

Posted 28 March 2020 - 11:59 PM

i now and have always used social media as a tool, and not the other way around.

I don't understand the need for likes, or the need to be liked. I follow what I find interesting and share things that matter to me for anyone who cares to see it. I don't have expectations on anyone to follow or interact, I don't care if people judge me - the same as I don't think they should care what I think ultimately.

My instagram is my visual journal, the tags i put are only for me to use to re-find things. I don't compete with anyone.

I cant stand twitter as it appears like a jumbled mess to me, a visual person. I love youtube and instagram because I use them as learning tools. I've met lots of new friends on there too that I otherwise would never of met in real life.

Things are what you make of them.

#20 Popper

Posted 29 March 2020 - 05:21 AM

I have never used FB, Twitter or Instagram.

I am a Luddite and I would highly recommend it!

#21 Charli73

Posted 29 March 2020 - 05:25 AM

Gives me anxiety.. FB and IG both do, mainly over seeing my oldest friends posting photos everyday with her new BF and I’ve had to unfollow her it has lead to me deleting FB and iG for a while. She is a huge social media slave and it makes me mad she couldn’t put her phone down when I visited last..

Every now and then I will log back in but it I try to limit all my posts and info as my work requires restrictions on social media.it was great timing really.

While I have missed social events I still use marketplace to sell things as I hate gumtree.

Edited by Charli73, 29 March 2020 - 06:00 AM.


#22 Chchgirl

Posted 29 March 2020 - 08:30 AM

View PostCharli73, on 29 March 2020 - 05:25 AM, said:

Gives me anxiety.. FB and IG both do, mainly over seeing my oldest friends posting photos everyday with her new BF and I’ve had to unfollow her it has lead to me deleting FB and iG for a while. She is a huge social media slave and it makes me mad she couldn’t put her phone down when I visited last..

Every now and then I will log back in but it I try to limit all my posts and info as my work requires restrictions on social media.it was great timing really.

While I have missed social events I still use marketplace to sell things as I hate gumtree.

Try not to let it bother you, in my experience most like that are full of sh*t. I've been on Facebook since 2007 and have seen a lot of that. Instagram not so much but depends who you follow.

I have a friend from my original mother's group in Sydney (we met when our oldest kids were norn in 1998) and we all keep in touch here and there still even though some of us live far and wide.  I havent seen any of them since 2012 , I left Sydney the year after that.

She's a lovely person but her perfect family posts and with her husband,  the photos etc would make anyone jealous if they didn't know her well.

Except I know it's all crap and remember all the times she was leaving her husband and how much we supported her etc.

Yeah nah. I just scroll on. She probably just wants to paint a picture to uplift herself and feel better.  Whatever works for her.

#23 Charli73

Posted 29 March 2020 - 08:48 AM

View PostChchgirl, on 29 March 2020 - 08:30 AM, said:



Try not to let it bother you, in my experience most like that are full of sh*t. I've been on Facebook since 2007 and have seen a lot of that. Instagram not so much but depends who you follow.

I have a friend from my original mother's group in Sydney (we met when our oldest kids were norn in 1998) and we all keep in touch here and there still even though some of us live far and wide.  I havent seen any of them since 2012 , I left Sydney the year after that.

She's a lovely person but her perfect family posts and with her husband,  the photos etc would make anyone jealous if they didn't know her well.

Except I know it's all crap and remember all the times she was leaving her husband and how much we supported her etc.

Yeah nah. I just scroll on. She probably just wants to paint a picture to uplift herself and feel better.  Whatever works for her.

Thanks for understanding. We’ve had a few heated discussions about it and she doesn’t care that it upsets me just tells me I’m being ridiculous and our friendship is starting to fade out. Breaks my heart. She’s found new friends and I feel very discarded.
I can’t see it in social media as it brings it all up again so I have stopped seeing her posts. it’s all so fake.. and she knows it but still plays along too and it’s just not doing anything for my mental health.

Edited by Charli73, 29 March 2020 - 08:51 AM.


#24 EmmaFY

Posted 29 March 2020 - 08:58 AM

I use FB to keep in contact with family and friends. I'm a member of a few groups. I don't post much, but often like and comment.

But... I also have people from high school, uni, past and present workmates, mother's group, old friends, exes.. People that don't really cross my mind anymore, ya know? It's a lot. I think I need to go through and remove some people as I think I have around 350 people. That's a lot of opinions and photos and ugh. It's overwhelming.

Same as Instagram. I love watching stories and will post occasionally, but need to go through and cull.

Right now social media is giving me the sh*ts. Every time I open my laptop or phone and visit any website there's just constant mention of COVID-19 and it's beginning to feel really overwhelming and my anxiety is getting worse. But that's on me. I am trying to have off-screen time when it's getting to me. I need to be more intentional with my time and energy.

But with that said, I've started watching Tik Toks and they are addictive! Most of it is light hearted and a welcome distraction from the stuff going on.

Edited by EmmaFY, 29 March 2020 - 09:01 AM.


#25 BeAwesome

Posted 29 March 2020 - 09:04 AM

I use Facebook as a social media that actually is social - I have conversations with friends and family, comment on content they share, etc.

I use Instagram fairly passively, I post pretty photos and look at other people's pretty photos, but don't really interact with people.

I monitor Tik Tok, as my daughter likes it.

I don't use Snapchat, or Twitter, because I don't care for them.




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