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*trigger warning* Have you ever confronted or bumped into a former bully?


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#1 LadyGreyTea

Posted 13 February 2020 - 10:25 AM

Did you ever confront or bump into a childhood or high school bully that made your life hell?
What happened?
Had they changed?

#2 seayork2002

Posted 13 February 2020 - 10:30 AM

Not as an adult but as a older teen yes, I moved away and live on the other side of Sydney where I grew up

We had a hello and that was it really

(I was bullied in primary but not HS)

Edited by seayork2002, 13 February 2020 - 10:32 AM.


#3 Freddie'sMum

Posted 13 February 2020 - 10:32 AM

Not me - but I know 2 people who met their bullies later in life.  Neither of the bullies recognized their victims.

#4 gigihopeful2016

Posted 13 February 2020 - 10:40 AM

I was in the guts of a dramatic labour, the heart rate monitor was showing baby had abnormal heart rate response to my contractions, midwives were concerned, few minutes later my midwife went to get her assistant unit manager - my high school bully walks in to give her managerial opinion... I recognise her and look down to see yes her name is what I remember, quite unique. She would have no idea who I was I’m guessing, I have an uncanny memory for faces and names. I had my baby in a hospital within 30mins of where we went to high school so I guess it’s not unexpected for this thing to happen but it was at a very stressful emotional moment.

#5 Chchgirl

Posted 13 February 2020 - 10:43 AM

No but I've not lived in the same area since I left school in 1984.

#6 Silverstreak

Posted 13 February 2020 - 10:59 AM

I never personally confronted my school bully, but I ended up writing a book about someone who does and what happens afterwards! It was very therapeutic, actually.

EFS

Edited by Silverstreak, 13 February 2020 - 11:09 AM.


#7 kimasa

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:01 AM

No and I really hope I don't. She often comes up in my "people you may know" on Facebook and her profile is public so I've had a little stalk. I know she lives one suburb down from me and has three boys, one the same age as DD, so I'm hoping there are no crossed paths.

I've since learned to embrace the physical feature that was the target of her bullying, so I guess if we did cross paths I'd kind of hope she would notice that. I don't know.

#8 SummerStar

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:04 AM

No I haven't but I'm waiting on it. From what I've seen she hasn't changed a bit but now she's a councillor of school children... That is extremely concerning. The me who hasn't run into her is dying to run into her, but I don't know if I would, in reality, say anything.
Even though those days shaped me to the person I am today and not for the better.

#9 Silverstreak

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:06 AM

Double post

Edited by Silverstreak, 13 February 2020 - 11:09 AM.


#10 bakesgirls

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:16 AM

No, I haven't but I'd guess she wouldn't remember me, even though I remember her all too well.

I'd just hope that she'd changed since then. After all, I'm certainly not the same person I was in high school. I doubt many of us still are.

I certainly had some moments in high school I'm not proud of and I'm not that person any more. I'm horrified now by some of the things that came out of my mouth.

#11 amdirel

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:19 AM

Yes. Not a bully as such, just a nasty b**ch.
She wanted to stop and have a chitter chatter. I kept walking.

#12 kadoodle

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:23 AM

Yes. She looked me up on Facebook to apologise about how awful she’d been as part of a 12 step program for AA. It was bizarre.

#13 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:38 AM

yes, kind of. not sure if “bully” is the correct characterisation - we were both in the same year, don’t know if she had the requisite degree of power over me to qualify as a bully. she engaged in sustained attacks of me and tormented me for some time - certainly made my life miserable for some perceived wrong and failing in me, the precise details of which i am still unclear!

but yes, we encountered each other years after school. i was taking a client to lunch in quite a posh sydney CBD restaurant. she was our waitress.


#14 IamOzgirl

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:40 AM

No, however some have tried to add me on FB.

#15 Cimbom

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:40 AM

Thankfully I live in a different state so I haven’t run into anyone from high school unexpectedly for over a decade

#16 missminx

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:53 AM

I was bullied during my teenage years until I was hospitalized by it.

I attempted to sort it out with the bully 3 different times, with the bully mocking me about it and seeing their behaviour towards me escalate each time.

I asked someone to intervene on my behalf twice and that person rolled their eyes and told me to learn how to take a joke.

The bully was my sister.  The person I asked to intervene was my mother.

I confronted them both about it and my sister claims she can't remember treating me that way.  My mother apologised to me but I have never managed to forgive either of them for it.  The long term affects of bullying are awful to deal with and for what, so the bully can feel better about themselves?

#17 ContentedFleur

Posted 13 February 2020 - 11:59 AM

Yes. She was utterly awful to me in Year 7, managed to ostracise me from all the social connections I'd formed in primary school. Fortunately, I attended Guides and church and band, and had other groups where she had no power, but she still made Year 7 utterly horrible for me.

I ran into her about ten years ago, when we both had toddler girls and she and I were going to the same gym; we met as we were checking our girls into the gym childcare. She apologised for how she'd treated me back then- her parents had been going through the most vindictive divorce ever and she'd taken everything out on me, and now, in our early thirties, she could understand how wrong it was and she was sorry.

It was like a massive weight lifted off me and floated away. I'd thought I was completely over Year 7 until then! I do hope she's going well now, she's moved interstate.

#18 Hands Up

Posted 13 February 2020 - 12:27 PM

She sent me a friend request on FB. I deleted it.

LB that must have been very satisfying!!!

#19 123Tree

Posted 13 February 2020 - 12:33 PM

View Postmissminx, on 13 February 2020 - 11:53 AM, said:

I was bullied during my teenage years until I was hospitalized by it.

I attempted to sort it out with the bully 3 different times, with the bully mocking me about it and seeing their behaviour towards me escalate each time.

I asked someone to intervene on my behalf twice and that person rolled their eyes and told me to learn how to take a joke.

The bully was my sister.  The person I asked to intervene was my mother.

I confronted them both about it and my sister claims she can't remember treating me that way.  My mother apologised to me but I have never managed to forgive either of them for it.  The long term affects of bullying are awful to deal with and for what, so the bully can feel better about themselves?

My sister was an absolute bully and butch to me growing up.

She claims she can’t remember most of her childhood. That it has been “blanked out”. Very convenient.

#20 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 13 February 2020 - 12:36 PM

View PostHands Up, on 13 February 2020 - 12:27 PM, said:

She sent me a friend request on FB. I deleted it.

LB that must have been very satisfying!!!

lol...look before i get accusations of “what’s wrong with being waitress? you think you’re better than her?”  my answers are -

nothing
and, no.

i remember she always wanted to be a model. at that encounter i asked her if she ever pursued that and she said no. i told her i was a lawyer and introduced her to my client. i’d always wanted to be a lawyer. we didn’t dwell on anything else. anyway she was quite busy.

i just remember some of her taunts - not the most harmful ones but the most petty ones - i chewed gum in a weird way and the way i sat annoyed her (“and everyone agrees with me”),  i crossed my arms too much and my face was too pale. anyway there i was, sitting very comfortably (not chewing gum) - and i just didn’t really care about her anymore - that was satisfying.



#21 Lou-bags

Posted 13 February 2020 - 12:40 PM

The opposite for me.

To my eternal shame, I was rather unkind to one girl in high school together with some other girls, and our behaviour could probably be described as bullying at times. It was a horrible situation that I think at the time I justified to myself because of some of her behaviour, but really I always knew I had done the wrong thing. I feel sick that I wasn't strong enough to stand up to the rest of the group and instead went along with it.

I did bump into her when I was in my early 20s, and I did approach her and apologised for my part in what had happened at school. It was quite awkward for a lot of reasons, but I certainly am hopeful that she knew I was sincere.

Edited by Lou-bags, 13 February 2020 - 12:41 PM.


#22 wallofdodo

Posted 13 February 2020 - 12:44 PM

Wow I did, and she was still a b**ch.

I was going to write more detail, but deleted it, cause I am scared that she might be here (no proof whatsoever), which shows how nearly 40 years later the impact of bullying.

#23 Ferelsmegz

Posted 13 February 2020 - 12:57 PM

Yes.

This guy was truly horrible to me in high school. He used to threaten to break into my house and kill my family then burn the house down. He would follow me around school and relentlessly mock every single thing about my appearance - the school did nothing about it. I wagged most of year 11 hiding out at my Nan's place - I eventually moved schools between year 11 and 12 just to get away from him (he started at my original HS in year 11) only to find he had also moved to my new school.. I only did a term of year 12 if that... just couldn't handle it..

Fast forward 3 years I randomly see him in a shopping centre about 80kms from where we had lived..

I immediately felt sick and tried to pretend I didn't see him but he saw me and came over to me straight away and profusely apologised for everything he had said and done. He was actually extremely remorseful for it and admitted that he was just a dumb kid and didn't even know why he did or said the things he had done.

That was 20+ years ago now and i'm grateful he did it... but it was extremely confronting at the time... and I can still remember exactly how I felt when I saw him.

#24 annodam

Posted 13 February 2020 - 01:00 PM

Not me as I wasn’t bullied (I certainly looked like a target with my Coca Cola thick ass Dame Edna glasses) but I was good at Sports, so it kinda took the pressure off a little.  If anyone tried to push (& they tried) I just pushed back even harder.  My younger brother (by 3yrs) was bullied & I was always fighting his battles for him.

In any event, I went to my HS Reunion recently, one lady there, confronted her bully, let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant!
On the same day, I confronted my Yr 7 Homeroom Teacher for doing fk all when I told her I was being followed to School by some stranger in a car.
She did remember the conversation & she was very apologetic for telling me to “find another route to School...”.
Perhaps it was playing on her mind too all these years, who knows?



#25 Tokra

Posted 13 February 2020 - 01:15 PM

I am ashamed to admit that my friends and I did bully a girl in high school and even more shamefully, I have no idea what her name is. I don't even really know what she looks like. So I wouldn't even recognise her (she wasn't in my year either).

I am also one of those people who did blank out their childhood due to abuse.




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