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Ds and mobile phone

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#1 My4beautifulboys

Posted 03 February 2020 - 10:48 PM

Ds will be turning 13 this year, he is keen for a mobile phone. As he says it will be useful when he’s out and about. And for when he goes away on school camp this year. He does have an iPad that he uses for school, homework, chatting to friends.
Do you think 13 is a good age to have a phone? What age did your child have a phone?

#2 ImperatorFuriosa

Posted 03 February 2020 - 10:57 PM

DS1 17 didn't get a phone till he was 15. The same will probably happen for DS2 10.

#3 lizzzard

Posted 04 February 2020 - 02:57 AM

DD is 13. Every kid in her class had phones last year (yr 7). well that’s what she said but it wouldn’t surprise me - it’s an inner city private school so most kids use PT to get to and from school. She’s had a phone since we was 11.

#4 amdirel

Posted 04 February 2020 - 04:47 AM

Yes I think he's old enough. My kids were given phones when they were about 11-12.

#5 IamzFeralz

Posted 04 February 2020 - 05:40 AM

I think my kids were 11 to 12 too.  Definitely by 13 most of the other kids in their classes had phones.  They are pretty cheap now and you can get inexpensive plans with limited data.

#6 Jingleflea

Posted 04 February 2020 - 05:45 AM

I doubt they'd be allowed to take a phone to camp though.

#7 Lees75

Posted 04 February 2020 - 06:18 AM

My kids both got phones at 12, when they started to walk home from school on their own.

#8 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 04 February 2020 - 06:25 AM

View PostJingleflea, on 04 February 2020 - 05:45 AM, said:

I doubt they'd be allowed to take a phone to camp though.

My kids have had mobiles since grade 3/5 due to catching public transport. When they were younger I took the phones back when they did not need them, but now they are both years 7/9 they keep their phones (have shown they are trustworthy). Grade 5 DD I still take phone from.

School camp is the one time they are not allowed to take their phones.

#9 Sunandicecream

Posted 04 February 2020 - 06:34 AM

I think it’s more about the operational rules you put around the phone. Wise advice we were given...make the phone yours (as parents) —- and clear that ownership lies with you and that therefore you have right to take away, see/check anything on it (we haven’t had need to in a year, but important for cyber bullying etc), and no phones in rooms at all. They are charged in central area.

#10 Backtoschoolchef

Posted 04 February 2020 - 06:51 AM

Ours will get them when they start walking / catching buses places on their own.  There are no payphones anywhere near where we live. (so 11 or 12 Id Imagine)

Im planning to put some restrictions on internet.

Edited by PoolsideMasterchef, 04 February 2020 - 06:58 AM.

#11 AllyK81

Posted 04 February 2020 - 07:05 AM

Mine are only 6 & 4. Some of the kids in DS year have phones (private school in affluent area).

Our rule is they get them when they are getting themselves places independently I.e. to and from school or after school sports so I imagine 12 probably.

With appropriate controls over internet, apps, data, etc

#12 Moukmouk

Posted 04 February 2020 - 07:12 AM

DD has had one since year five, so 10 years old. DS has just got my old one at 9. DD has got a new one this year for high school - complex public transport arrangements. I don’t think there would be a girl in year 7 who doesn’t have a phone. We don’t have a land line so if they are home by themselves then they need a phone. To be honest, it’s easier having them organise their own social lives rather than all the messages going through me.

#13 dadwasathome

Posted 04 February 2020 - 07:20 AM

DS12 got a hand-me-down last year. Most kids in his class had them. It's even more useful now he's catching public transport to and from school.

DS16 got a phone slightly earlier, again mostly to be contactable on public transport.

#14 NastyGal

Posted 04 February 2020 - 07:24 AM

We gave DD a phone for her 13th birthday. She catches a bus to and from school so I like to know I can contact her if need be.  All of her friends have had phones for at least 12 months, some much longer.

ETA: We also specifically told DD13 when we gave her the phone that we reserve the right to check her messages / accounts etc if we had concerns. She was fine with that, she knows we wouldn't do it lightly.

Edited by NastyGal, 04 February 2020 - 07:30 AM.

#15 Mrs Claus

Posted 04 February 2020 - 07:38 AM

Mine got/get them when they start high school

#16 seayork2002

Posted 04 February 2020 - 08:16 AM

We just got DS12 his first phone for FYOHS it is a Samsung A50 (or something like that).

He has only had it for a week or so and doesn't use other than to text me in the morning to let me know he got to school on the bus ok

He knows I will check it every once in a while like I do with his Ipad but he has had his Ipad for a few years now and no issues, he is not on social media and only voice chats his actual school friends.

I am not sure he has realised he can get phone details of his friends and can chat to them he has asked for a couple of games but that is it.

Other than watching youtube and playing Minecraft and Roblox he is not into technology much really

#17 MayaTheGrinch

Posted 04 February 2020 - 08:31 AM

Mine get access to a phone when they start high school as they will be getting themselves places independently. We’ve already had a conversation around the phone actually being mine, they are just borrowing it (it my old iPhone) so they need to respect that it’s someone else’s property. And it is to contact either myself or their dad. It is not for playing games or anything else. And if they want to continue accessing it and therefore the activities they need it for then they need to respect the rules.

Kids here are not allowed phone at school. If it is at school it needs to be in flight mode or it will be turned in at the office and not given back until the end of the day.

Edited by MayaTheGrinch, 04 February 2020 - 08:32 AM.

#18 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 04 February 2020 - 08:54 AM

13 is the age we have set for our kids to get mobiles.

DH and I upgraded and they get the older models.

#19 MayaTheGrinch

Posted 04 February 2020 - 10:20 AM

View Post~Jolly_F~, on 04 February 2020 - 08:54 AM, said:

13 is the age we have set for our kids to get mobiles.

DH and I upgraded and they get the older models.

See my kids start high school at 12, so 12 is when they will get access to it. Though I'll admit they get intermittent access to one this year, mostly the 11 yr old as I have to drop him off to a couple of things and it's so he can contact me as needs be.

#20 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 04 February 2020 - 10:24 AM

View PostMayaTheGrinch, on 04 February 2020 - 10:20 AM, said:

See my kids start high school at 12, so 12 is when they will get access to it. Though I'll admit they get intermittent access to one this year, mostly the 11 yr old as I have to drop him off to a couple of things and it's so he can contact me as needs be.

Mine start high school at 12 also but we didn’t feel it was needed in the first year, their birthdays are towards the end of the year.

I guess we all just weigh up the pros and cons and go with what we feel is best.

#21 MayaTheGrinch

Posted 04 February 2020 - 10:29 AM

View Post~Jolly_F~, on 04 February 2020 - 10:24 AM, said:

Mine start high school at 12 also but we didn’t feel it was needed in the first year, their birthdays are towards the end of the year.

I guess we all just weigh up the pros and cons and go with what we feel is best.

I suspect half of it is my anxiety rather then theirs. ;) That and the fact the younger child is really freaking good at forgetting what on earth he is supposed to do and wandering off (this happened just recently again, and he's one who I've been at the point of calling the police on because I can't find him at the spot I specified for him/them to wait).

#22 liveworkplay

Posted 04 February 2020 - 10:40 AM

My kids got phones at 13. This was solely because they were catching public transport to and from school. For the first year they basically had "dumb" phones...txt and calls only, no data. After that they upgraded their handsets themselves (DD2 is in the process of saving and turns 14 in a few weeks) and I put them on a $10 plan with 2GB data and locked it down so no extra charges can be accrued if it is used.

#23 Quick hedgehog

Posted 04 February 2020 - 10:43 AM

This is timely for me as DD (12 1/2) has just started high school. She really wants a phone but knows there is no point in making a fuss about it.  DS didn't get one until he was 15 so we have a bit of a precedent there.

Having just got her own laptop for school is proving to be a bit of a consolation at the moment.

But she did come home yesterday (4th day of school) mentioning that the other kids were exchanging phone numbers and she had to say she didn't have one.  

I am conscious of the need to fit in at this age, as well as facilitate new friendships now she is at high school.  Being in Victoria, phones are banned from school this year which I hope will make it easier as at least the kids won't all be one their phones at break times, so she won't stand out.

I have just bought a new phone as my old one (already a hand me down to me) was letting me down, but while it is still hanging on, perhaps I will let DD have it with her own sim card, so she at least has a number to share with friends.  It's not good enough to run any social media anyway so she will still be stuck with her laptop for any interactions other than actual phone messages.

#24 Jersey Caramel

Posted 04 February 2020 - 04:56 PM

My DS has just got a phone for starting high school, so almost 12yo - most of the kids who didn't already have one seemed to get one for Christmas. He has to catch public transport with several changes,  so it has eased both his and my anxiety for him to be able to look up the transport app and contact me if he is lost or stuck.  He has also gone to a different school to all of his primary school friends,  so being able to keep in touch with them via text/WhatsApp has eased that sadness a bit. And swapping numbers with kids at the new school has helped him get in touch with them to meet up outside school and go in together etc. We have fairly strict parental controls on it (Qustodio), he knows that we have visibility of everything that he does on it and it lives on the kitchen bench when he is at home. We will probably ease up on these rules as he gets older but for now it is very much a privilege and not a right.

#25 Hands Up

Posted 05 February 2020 - 08:12 AM

We don’t have a home phone so depending on mine and DH’s work patterns as they get older we will need to think about it. We will probably link it to starting high school and no after school care. There would be a lot of rules around it though.

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