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No sign of puberty in 13yo girl


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#1 Kreme

Posted 25 January 2020 - 05:57 PM

A friend was expressing concern about her DD13 who is showing zero signs of puberty. No hair, no breast buds. She is a tiny little thing - looks closer to 9 or 10 than 13. Has always been very thin and has had the same size shoes for 3+ years.

I encouraged her to seek medical advice but her mum is very reluctant to take her to a dr as she’s already sensitive about being small.

Has anyone had experience with a DD who started puberty on the late side? Should I be urging her to get medical advice soon or is she safe to wait a while?


#2 *holdontight*

Posted 25 January 2020 - 06:02 PM

Personally not at 13, especially if she's on the small side, the average age stastically is 12.5-13.
This was one I found on a quick google https://health.cleve...-and-whats-not/

I guess if she's really concerned she could have a chat with the doctor without her daughter there & go from there.

Edited by *holdontight*, 25 January 2020 - 06:02 PM.


#3 luke's mummu

Posted 25 January 2020 - 06:02 PM

My son didn’t have any pubic hair at 13, but he sure does at 14. I was getting a bit worried. I think I’d advise your friend ok to wait until closer to 14, then get help

Edited by luke's mummu, 25 January 2020 - 06:03 PM.


#4 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 25 January 2020 - 06:31 PM

View Post*holdontight*, on 25 January 2020 - 06:02 PM, said:

Personally not at 13, especially if she's on the small side, the average age stastically is 12.5-13.
This was one I found on a quick google https://health.cleve...-and-whats-not/

I guess if she's really concerned she could have a chat with the doctor without her daughter there & go from there.

According to that link, nothing at 13 would be a bit concerning. I'd suggest your friend goes for a chat with a GP without her daughter to see what they say.

#5 IamtheMumma

Posted 25 January 2020 - 06:40 PM

She needs an endocrinologist referral from her GP.  Her mother also needs to act.

#6 blimkybill

Posted 25 January 2020 - 06:47 PM

My friend's daughter didn't have breast development or periods until 16. She was slim but tall for her age. Later puberty ran in their family.

#7 born.a.girl

Posted 25 January 2020 - 07:06 PM

I was significantly underweight after being unwell from 12, and didn't develop breast buds until about 14, 15 and didn't get my first period until 17.   Tends to be later in our family anyway, but I was a couple of years behind my sisters.

Daughter was also slight, and late.  Most of her friends had their period before she even had breast buds, which I think was about 12, then period at 15.

#8 Mose

Posted 25 January 2020 - 07:29 PM

View PostIamtheMumma, on 25 January 2020 - 06:40 PM, said:

She needs an endocrinologist referral from her GP.  Her mother also needs to act.

This. It's not just the lack of signs of puberty, but also the lack of growth, which in females is usually a post puberty event.  These things together would have me pushing a GP hard for further investigation.

I second the go and chat to GP without the daughter for first appointment, but don't be palmed off.  It COULD be all fine, but if it isn't I suspect the window for effective action might not be long, because once puberty does kick in the previous growth issues are unlikely to be able to be addressed.

A friend of mine had a daughter whose physical growth was badly behind schedule (smaller than brother two years her junior in early primary and the gap kept getting bigger).  Turned out to be a dietary intolerance that once identified was fairly easily managed to get her back on track.

#9 PrincessPeach

Posted 25 January 2020 - 07:56 PM

Does she do a lot of high intensity sports?

For myself it wasnt until I quite gymnastics at 14.5 that i went through puberty. Seriously in the 6 weeks school holidays i put on 7kg & grew 10cm.

#10 **Tiger*Filly**

Posted 25 January 2020 - 08:08 PM

One of my daughters was very late,  didn't get her period until just turned 18, and even still grew taller up until age 20. The doctor wasn't particularly concerned until she hit 16 with no sign of it. Both my husband and I went through puberty late though, although not as late as her.

#11 iavy

Posted 25 January 2020 - 08:15 PM

We saw an endocrinologist at the children’s hospital for my tiny dd when she was 10.

We had a year of visits every 2 months and blood tests etc.

She said dd should get her period about 15 after she reached 35kg. This is exactly what happened.

We were told to make further appointments if this didn’t occur as there are other issues such as bone density that can cause problems later on.

I found having it all checked out very reassuring as I had worried a lot about it.

Dd is also a dancer who did a lot of excercise



#12 Kreme

Posted 25 January 2020 - 08:25 PM

View PostMose, on 25 January 2020 - 07:29 PM, said:



This. It's not just the lack of signs of puberty, but also the lack of growth, which in females is usually a post puberty event.  These things together would have me pushing a GP hard for further investigation.

A friend of mine had a daughter whose physical growth was badly behind schedule (smaller than brother two years her junior in early primary and the gap kept getting bigger).  Turned out to be a dietary intolerance that once identified was fairly easily managed to get her back on track.

This is my concern - the complete lack of growth. An intolerance isn’t out of the question as she’s had some gut issues. I’ll definitely push the idea of a dr appointment again. The mum is very passive unfortunately, so she won’t push if the GP is happy to wait.

#13 Kreme

Posted 25 January 2020 - 08:26 PM

View PostPrincessPeach, on 25 January 2020 - 07:56 PM, said:

Does she do a lot of high intensity sports?

For myself it wasnt until I quite gymnastics at 14.5 that i went through puberty. Seriously in the 6 weeks school holidays i put on 7kg & grew 10cm.

She’s sporty but not high intensity like a gymnast.

#14 SplashingRainbows

Posted 25 January 2020 - 08:56 PM

Gut issues and lack of growth are big indicators for coeliac disease.
I have very tiny breasts, due in part I suspect to my undiagnosed coeliac in my teens. I did grow enough in general to be average but I’m much smaller than everyone else in my family. I was unwell for no traceable cause in my mid teens (16ish).

My mum did try. Doctors were just not on the ball as I wasn’t sick enough. And like many women I just got on with it. I still have often wished my parents did more though.

I’d encourage coeliac screening.

#15 littlepickle

Posted 25 January 2020 - 09:13 PM

I was slow to puberty - first signs at around 12 3/4 but then rapid progression through to period at 13 1/2. Was always on the 10% on the growth chart but once I hit 45kg it all started. My sister was very lean and had no signs until 15 (although was average height), no period until 17 but by 18 had managed to develop E cup breasts even though she was still somewhat underweight.
With the combination of no signs of puberty and slow growth it would be worth an initial ‘wellness check up’ rather than focusing on the puberty aspect.

#16 barrington

Posted 25 January 2020 - 09:16 PM

I wouldn't be concerned about the lack of puberty at 13, but I would be concerned about the lack of growth.

DD1 is tiny, around 5th percentile for height and weight.  She didn't get breast buds until she was 12.5 yrs old.

#17 Ozquoll

Posted 25 January 2020 - 09:30 PM

I was late to hit puberty, but I still grew like topsy between the ages of 0-17! Three years with no growth and no change in shoe size is very concerning. Not taking your kid to the doctor because she's "sensitive" about being short is just an epic parenting cop-out. You are doing the right thing by pushing your friend to take this seriously.

#18 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 January 2020 - 09:33 PM

View PostMose, on 25 January 2020 - 07:29 PM, said:

This. It's not just the lack of signs of puberty, but also the lack of growth, which in females is usually a post puberty event.  These things together would have me pushing a GP hard for further investigation.

This. I was a 'late bloomer' and only got my period at 16, but my growth was on track, I was tall amongst my peers. Not growing as well as no puberty would definitely be worth investigating, it's the sort of thing that could happen from malnourishment (if something is not getting absorbed) or other things wrong. It would be better to get checked out.

Does she have her old blue book? If she plots her height/weight on that and it's way under whatever curve she should be on, perhaps that would help persuade her. Alternatively if she's not under her curve, there's probably less to worry about.

#19 born.a.girl

Posted 26 January 2020 - 06:43 AM

Actually no change in shoe size, I missed that.

My daughter was one of the shorter ones in early high school due to late puberty, but really shot up in late secondary (is now 172cm).

Her shoe size however got to its maximum before puberty, which is how I understood it worked.


My growth was affected by being unwell (and significantly underweight) all my teenage years, but my feet were fully grown beforehand.

#20 IamtheMumma

Posted 26 January 2020 - 07:00 AM

View PostKreme, on 25 January 2020 - 08:25 PM, said:

This is my concern - the complete lack of growth. An intolerance isn’t out of the question as she’s had some gut issues. I’ll definitely push the idea of a dr appointment again. The mum is very passive unfortunately, so she won’t push if the GP is happy to wait.

Medical neglect is not ok. She needs to advocate for her child.

#21 SquidlySquid

Posted 26 January 2020 - 06:38 PM

 IamtheMumma, on 26 January 2020 - 07:00 AM, said:



Medical neglect is not ok. She needs to advocate for her child.

I am truly disappointed that you felt the need to suggest that she was medically neglecting her daughter. Op is asking for advice about a friend’s child and therefore has no firsthand knowledge about intricacies of the situation including genetics.
As OP said, if the GP is happy to wait then she won’t push it; this suggests that the child has a GP and is in no way being medically neglected. It is not abnormal for a child to have a delay in the onset of puberty with a range of clinically sound reasons, most of which are no cause for alarm or hypochondria.

If your name reflects your actual parental status then I suggest you have a serious think about whether you would like a forum full of people you don’t know and who don’t know the entire story passing such serious and out of line judgment about your parenting style and choices.

#22 IamtheMumma

Posted 26 January 2020 - 06:56 PM

Welcome to EB SquidlySquid. You'll get over your disappointment.

#23 SquidlySquid

Posted 26 January 2020 - 07:15 PM

Unfortunately not.
I have been here for a while in different capacities, although rarely post, and while I am never surprised by the seemingly vanilla posts which end completely off topic with keyboard warrior name calling and harsh judgment.  I am always disappointed in the inability of posters to recognize that in their plight to be heard, understood and validated they refuse to give the same respect to others.

Another shinning example IamtheMumma.

#24 feralisles

Posted 27 January 2020 - 09:36 AM

Hi Kreme,

I just wanted to second what SplashingRainbows had to say.  My 15 yo niece had gut issues, slow growth and no signs of puberty.  She has just been diagnosed with coeliac disease.

I had been trying to persuade her Mum to take her to the doctor for about three years because I was concerned about the lack of growth. Mum just wanted to give it time, didn't want to upset her by making a big deal out of it.

I just hope it isn't too late for her to catch up.

#25 SplashingRainbows

Posted 27 January 2020 - 10:40 AM

I think I remember your story feralises. Did you post about it on here? I’m glad your niece has now been diagnosed.




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