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Have you had a termination?

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#26 Silverstreak

Posted 21 December 2019 - 03:27 PM

No judgment here and wishing you all the best xo

#27 Apageintime

Posted 21 December 2019 - 03:40 PM

No judgement at all. I went with a friend when she had a surgical termination.

She said, I'm doing x at y time. Can you drop me off and pick me up. I'd rather not chat about it though.

Would you have a friend you could say the same to? Just so you've got someone to pick you up?

#28 Mollyksy

Posted 21 December 2019 - 03:53 PM

Like PPs, not the same, but I've had seven miscarriages and much preferred the surgical option. No judgment at all. I wish you the best.

Does your work have a counselling option? Mine has contracted a psychology firm and will support employees getting help for any reason at all, confidentially. Otherwise lifeline or your gp for a mental health plan if or when you feel like you might just need to talk it over. You'd be a jumble of emotions right now and you may find soon or down the track (I tend to save my reactions for once something is technically done) you need some support. Especially if it is just you and DH that know. Or come back here to chat.

Things just happen. It's not your fault. Sometimes sucky things happen. Sending lots of love...

#29 Ellie bean

Posted 21 December 2019 - 06:21 PM

No judgment here. I haven’t been in your shoes so I’m not very helpful but wanted to say that after  2 pregnancies with hyperemesis I was pretty clear with dh that if we had an accidental pregnancy I would seriously consider termination. I would support any friend who chose a termination whatever the reason.

#30 quartz85

Posted 21 December 2019 - 06:38 PM

You could call the panda hotline for some mental health support. They are fantastic.

#31 Bandwagon

Posted 21 December 2019 - 09:20 PM

I have had both and I preferred the medical option. I preferred being at home, my own timing. I had no complications. I had no regrets, then or now.

#32 400

Posted 22 December 2019 - 08:41 AM

View Postblissfulfairy, on 21 December 2019 - 09:53 AM, said:

I've had a d&c in the past after a MMC at 15 weeks so I have some idea what to expect if I go with that option.. however I'd be doing it alone this time as we won't have care for our children and we don't want to tell anyone else... obviously can't take our kids to hospital without lots of questions. I absolutely love my job and it's a terrible time to take unpaid leave but I've just said it's for a minor procedure.. I can still decide which option to go with they obviously don't need to know. Thankfully hubby is home at the moment. I'm so angry we're in this situation but we obviously weren't as careful as we thought.

Just wondering why you have to take unpaid leave? This definitely falls under the category of medical certificate. In fact I’d try to get an extra couple of days to recover mentally and physically.

Whilst I personally think that with kids at home having the surgical option would probably be better (you don’t want them home while it is happening) but I just wanted to make sure that you know you need someone to pick you up after sedation.

I wish you all the best, and it makes me so glad to live in a country where we have the choice.

#33 Hollycoddle

Posted 22 December 2019 - 01:04 PM

View PostWaitForMe, on 21 December 2019 - 08:22 AM, said:

I have had both. The medical took a while and was confronting. However hospitals, surgery and general anaesthetic are confronting in their own ways.

If I ever have a next time, I'll be seeking out a place like this. All of mine have been through the public system, and while they were great and supportive, the public system isn't really set up to be 'gentle'.

I have never heard of surgical termination occurring in hospital under a general, I thought they were all done in clinics under twilight? Unless very late term. Nor have I heard of them being done in the public system. Obviously there's a lot I don't know!

Edited by Hollycoddle, 22 December 2019 - 01:04 PM.

#34 400

Posted 22 December 2019 - 01:20 PM

View PostHollycoddle, on 22 December 2019 - 01:04 PM, said:

I have never heard of surgical termination occurring in hospital under a general, I thought they were all done in clinics under twilight? Unless very late term. Nor have I heard of them being done in the public system. Obviously there's a lot I don't know!

There are some public termination lists, though availability is very limited and usually has very tight criteria about who can access the services. As far as I am aware the public services are predominantly under GA.

#35 UndergroundKelpie

Posted 22 December 2019 - 01:31 PM

I had a surgical. I was 100% sure at the time I didn't want a baby.

My mental health suffered, my long term relationship broke down and I planned pregnancy with a new man 12 months later.

Make sure you have good support around you no matter your choice.

#36 Froyohoho

Posted 22 December 2019 - 03:48 PM

View PostHollycoddle, on 22 December 2019 - 01:04 PM, said:

I have never heard of surgical termination occurring in hospital under a general, I thought they were all done in clinics under twilight? Unless very late term. Nor have I heard of them being done in the public system. Obviously there's a lot I don't know!
My d&c for my ectopic was done in a hospital under general.

#37 Twinkie12

Posted 22 December 2019 - 03:52 PM

My circumstances were different  but I  couldn't not reach out to you.

There is nothing shameful about a termination and you shouldn't feel guilty.

You must do the best for yourself and the children you have.  That is not selfish or anything to be ashamed about.  You are so strong for making a decision and taking all of the factors into account.

Please be kind to yourself.  Please find a professional you can talk to.  

Rest in the knowledge you have made the right decision for you and your family, even though it is hard right now.


#38 IShallWearTinsel

Posted 22 December 2019 - 04:01 PM

View PostCat12, on 20 December 2019 - 11:53 PM, said:

Slightly different but I had the option to d&c a failed pregnancy or wait for it to pass. I opted for the d&c as I liked the completeness of feeling in control and that the situation would be dealt with fully. Good luck. It must be tough for you.


I was in the same situation and also opted for a d&c.

If I were to fall pregnant now I would 100% terminate, but would probably try the medication first as I can't take a day for surgery.

#39 blissfulfairy

Posted 22 December 2019 - 07:25 PM

@400 I'm only casual so any days off are unpaid.

Our terminations are only done publicly..  I'm in SA. We did have the pregnancy advisory centre but they now refer on to hospital and no longer perform the surgery. I believe they're done under GA aswell. Atleast the D&C I had in the past was.

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