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Worst dinner your DP has made...


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#1 gracie1978

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:49 AM

Sometimes I think DP must be deliberately doing this to get me to cook...?

Dinner last night.
Soggy garlic bread, as it was covered in watery gravy.  Topped with Ikea meat balls and a side of overcooked carrot.

He and DS gobbled it down.  I got through about half.

What sort of ridiculousness has been produced in your house?

He seems happy to buy green veges, just never cooks them!

#2 Chamomile

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:57 AM

We’ve had maple syrup in a stir fry!

#3 nom_de_plume

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:14 AM

DP is generally a good cook but likes to over complicate things. We can’t just have a simple meat and 3 veg, he has to fancy it up somehow, and use every damn dish and kitchen utensil in the process.

The most facepalm worthy moment was when I asked him to make a vegetarian lasagna. He added bacon to it because he thought it would be more interesting. It tasted okay, it was just not, you know, vegetarian ...

#4 Nasty Poobah

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:23 AM

Ex DH had a Mexican recipe for stuffed turkey which involved creating a mole mix (the spice blend, not the small furry animal). He couldn't source the Mexican unsweetened chocolate -- so he used Nestle choc bits instead.

It was epically inedible.

#5 gracie1978

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:35 AM

View PostNasty Poobah, on 19 November 2019 - 05:23 AM, said:

Ex DH had a Mexican recipe for stuffed turkey which involved creating a mole mix (the spice blend, not the small furry animal). He couldn't source the Mexican unsweetened chocolate -- so he used Nestle choc bits instead.

It was epically inedible.

That is epic!

DP once cooked a piece of topside with the plastic moisture absorbing pad still on it...He got upset with me when I threw the meat and pan out...the pad had literally bonded to the dish.  The whole house smelt like burning plastic when I got home, no idea how he didn't realise something was wrong!

#6 Navy Blue

Posted 19 November 2019 - 07:08 AM

There's been a few! I do the weekly shop and to me it's obvious what goes with what for dinners but there's some weird combinations when he cooks.

I did come home recently to 'chicken in the slow cooker' - chicken breasts with a tin of whole tomatoes chucked on top. Not inedible but not tasty either.

#7 Bethlehem Babe

Posted 19 November 2019 - 07:43 AM

Easy. One of his favourite dishes. His mum used to make it when camping or end of pay period feeding teen boys.

Brown 500g mince and onion.
Add 3-4 family size cans of spaghetti
Add a few spoons of fruit chutney
Optional- add curry powder.

Simmer for a while. And eat.

#8 MoreCoffeePlease

Posted 19 November 2019 - 07:45 AM

I can’t think of a specific dish but he can’t cook meat properly!

He used a low heat and it end up broiling and gets tough 🤢

#9 seayork2002

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:11 AM

None really, I am the one that can't cook

#10 Norma-Bean Baker

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:17 AM

DH once made devilled sausages.  This is how he reads a recipe

1. Peel the spuds
2. Boil water
3. Once water boiled, add spuds, wait for those to cook            completely, drain, mash and set aside.
4. Cook sausages, set aside
5. Make sauce
7. Reheat spuds and snags and serve

It tasted fine, it just took 2 hours to make!

#11 IamtheMumma

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:20 AM

It makes you wonder if its learned helplessness hey?

My Ex can cook basic food but he likes to add his own cooking times and settings to it. He'll put a piece of meat in the oven at 5pm at 120C and take it out around 10pm. That isn't cooking dinner as over half the family has been asleep for 3hrs or more. That is just using the oven at an inconvenient time.

His "stirfry" was always interesting. 2 minute noodles, meat and tinned tomatoes :sick:   I taught him how to make a stirfry which he claimed was the best but still defaulted to his bastardisation whenever he said he'd make stirfry for dinner.

#12 Drat

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:21 AM

I don't let my husband cook. He has no idea. He also seems to have no sense of taste.. so everything tastes the same to him and i've never seen him not eat something, no matter how bad (or out of date!).

When we were going out he made me pesto eggs, with like one egg and a whole jar of pesto.. it was very intense.
He also spent hours one night making this 'fancy' weird fish dish. I actually fell asleep while he was making it. He got it out of some retro 80s cookbook.. it was awful.. but points for trying?

He also hates using the bbq and refuses to do to it. Mainly because my family made fun of him for always wandering away whilst cooking the bbq..

Last time he made me steak (absolutely raw) with cucumbers, green beans and cherry tomatoes. I absolutely hate cucumbers and green beans...

#13 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:26 AM

My DH loves to cook. Everything he makes seems to take half a day though. So he only cooks on weekends.

Also, he is notorious for making things that are so spicy that the kids and I can’t eat it. He will love it, while we eat plain rice or bread.

Also, often starts some epic all-day slow cook meat thing, but it’s not ready by dinner time, so we eat pasta or something instead.

#14 marple

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:31 AM

View Postgracie1978, on 19 November 2019 - 05:35 AM, said:

That is epic!

DP once cooked a piece of topside with the plastic moisture absorbing pad still on it...He got upset with me when I threw the meat and pan out...the pad had literally bonded to the dish.  The whole house smelt like burning plastic when I got home, no idea how he didn't realise something was wrong!

I've done that so can't criticise! had to throw everything out too. My Dh is a good cook but uses every plate and bowl and saucepan.  he likes to cut every ongredient up first then put it in an indivdual bowl. and he uses a lot of ingredients.  At least its yummy.

#15 Jane Jetson

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:32 AM

Mine can cook - his spag bols and curries and even scrambled eggs are really nice, and much better than mine - but he is vague and disorganised and will take a million years to do it. He can spend hours on a spag bol. I have no idea how.

#16 marple

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:32 AM

View PostBethlehem Babe, on 19 November 2019 - 07:43 AM, said:

Easy. One of his favourite dishes. His mum used to make it when camping or end of pay period feeding teen boys.

Brown 500g mince and onion.
Add 3-4 family size cans of spaghetti
Add a few spoons of fruit chutney
Optional- add curry powder.

Simmer for a while. And eat.

im intrigued. it it tinned spaghetti , like the one you have on toast like baked beans?

#17 born.a.girl

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:32 AM

Mine is actually a good cook, and since he retired has done most of it.


Only really bad time was when I came home absolutely knackered from a very long work day.

He was wanting to greet me with a wonderful roast dinner, but unfortunately burnt the veggies, so it was just meat and roast veggies.   Which he'd accidentally slathered with extremely hot chilli oil, when he thought he was using basil oil.

I was just about slathering at the thought of this delicious roast.

#18 Ozquoll

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:32 AM

My husband has no clue in the kitchen. Years ago he decided to make us a chicken roast, which is lovely in theory...in practice, he asked me what he should be doing every five minutes, and after the chook had already been cooking for half an hour, said "So, when do the potatoes go in the oven?" 🤯😖!!

#19 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:38 AM

View PostNorma-Bean Baker, on 19 November 2019 - 08:17 AM, said:

DH once made devilled sausages.  This is how he reads a recipe

1. Peel the spuds
2. Boil water
3. Once water boiled, add spuds, wait for those to cook            completely, drain, mash and set aside.
4. Cook sausages, set aside
5. Make sauce
7. Reheat spuds and snags and serve

It tasted fine, it just took 2 hours to make!

DH’s friend cooks like this. They lived together for a while. When it was his turn to cook dinner didn’t arrive until 9pm. He did one thing at a time. Like, Make bolognese sauce, then boil the pasta. Even now, When he invites us over for dinner we know it’s going to be a late one, even with his wife now helping. She has given up trying to hurry him along I think.

I remember that TV show, my kitchen rules, one time when there was a guy on, and he was chopping green beans. One bean at a time, lol. It was taking forever. Reminded me of DH’s friend.

#20 hills mum bec

Posted 19 November 2019 - 08:40 AM

My DH is a great cook most of the time but he has had a few failures.  One of his weaknesses is cooking frozen veg.  He tends to put them on to simmer in a saucepan before he starts anything else.  This is quite often fine if he is cooking something that is quick, if it's something that takes a bit longer we end up with extremely mushy frozen veg with our dinner.

His most memorable failure was when he forgot to add the curry paste to the Thai Green Curry, so we essentially had chicken in some coconut milk with a bit of fish sauce.  When he served it up I thought it tasted a bit odd and bland but didn't say anything because I was grateful for him doing the cooking.  it wasn't until the next day when he started to cook dinner and he saw the curry paste jar in the pantry unopened that it clicked what he had done.

#21 Apple14

Posted 19 November 2019 - 09:03 AM

I got home 1 night (with my ex) to a pan full of water(about 3cups), raw rice and raw chicken mince.
He said dinner shouldn’t be too far away!
We went out to eat.

#22 Elsegundo

Posted 19 November 2019 - 09:48 AM

It's usually me that makes disaster meals. Once I tried to make dahl and as it was usually so delicious  (from restaurants ) I made an enormous saucepan of it. No idea what I did but it was so bland and the texture was really wrong. It was hideous. And there was enough for about 20 serves! I tried to eat it a few times but ended up binning most of it.

#23 Wot*A*Lot*Of_____

Posted 19 November 2019 - 09:52 AM

The only real thing I think DH has ever done wrong when cooking, was last week when he somehow over salted the veges.

He can bake anything and spends all day getting lasagne the way everyone likes it.

#24 halcyondays

Posted 19 November 2019 - 10:04 AM

I have made a huge number of hideous dishes- usually when I have invited people over- I think it is multiplying quantities gone wrong, having the wrong size fry pans etc for multiple people, and a bit of anxiety about feeding people.

Ex, on the other hand, can't cook, and refused to learn to cook.
His learned helplessness went so far that when I made a dish that just needed to be reheated in the oven for the young kids and him for dinner so I could go out, knowing that the young ones would be fed, that he would put the whole dish, including cling wrap, into the oven. He would then offer to just scrape off the congealed plastic to feed the stuff to the kids, while he would make himself toast...….

#25 katpaws

Posted 19 November 2019 - 11:29 AM

I was sick at the time.

My dinner was left over rhubarb that I had cooked a week prior. Served cold.

His dinner was McDonalds.




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