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Do you socialise with your neighbours?

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#1 JomoMum

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:01 PM

We live in a new family oriented estate, families both sides and opposite us with kids all around the same age.

We’ve all only been here 18 months or so and have all always been friendly, quick chat in the street if we’re outside, wave on the way past in the car.

Our three neighbours have become very close, and have basically stopped talking to us at the same time. They often all get together at each other’s houses for meals with the kids etc. While being involved in the group socialising is enough to make me want to move house, I can’t help but feel sad like we’ve been ditched a bit. We no longer even get waves from them as we’re passing by.

They do most of their group time on our front lawn since we’re the most central house so I have to listen to it all while I’m home trying to put my son to bed at 7pm and they’re outside drinking with kids running crazy .. like tonight.

So, it got me thinking, is it your kind of thing to be good friends with your neighbours? Provided you had similar interests/aged kids etc. It was how I grew up in our street as a kid, but while I’m sad that we may have been left out of the cool group, I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse.

And yes. I have issues! :p

#2 Caribou

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:06 PM

I’m sorry they’ve stopped talking to you. Are you sure they have stopped talking? If I were you I’d go join them in front of your house seeing they seem to have no issues talking there!

My neighbour hood is social. Mostly old people but they’ve made effort to include us in all their parties which is nice. The kids love it bc the attention is all on them.

#3 seayork2002

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:17 PM

We move a lot sometimes we do sometimes not, I get what your saying but I am not bothered by the 'cool group' I happy to be included or include others if and when I feel like it

#4 Pink Flamingo

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:22 PM

We are friendly with neighbors on both sides. One set we have dinners with and have had a weekend away with. There kids are a couple of years older than ours and they all go to the same school which is handy with pick ups and drops offs from time to time. I think we have just the right balance - good friends but also not in each other’s faces all the time.
The neighbors on the other side have kids the same age as DH and I so they adore our children and always bring them stuff. Happy to help and look out for them but we don’t really socialize beyond a chat over the fence.

#5 Black Velvet

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:23 PM

We don't socialise with any of our neighbours. We are civil and say hello, maybe a quick chat if we are out the front at the same time doing gardening etc.

We like our privacy and just because we are neighbours doesn't mean we have to be friends

Sorry for how you are feeling though.

#6 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:24 PM

We have lots of neighbour friends, it's lovely.

Don't know what's up with yours! Having drinks and a play on your front lawn while NOT inviting you is just mean! I can't even...

#7 ~J_F~

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:25 PM

Nope and I don’t care too :)

#8 seayork2002

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:27 PM

Mind you if they are on your land annoying you with being noisy then move them on

#9 OrangeSprout

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:40 PM

Not really our thing to do.
We might stand in the driveway and have a chat but that's about it.
Have chatted with our back neighbors a few times.
Have them and out top side neighbors on FB but more so for like keeping an eye out for each other and that we can communicate that way if we need to.

#10 Paddlepop

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:41 PM

OP: They're on your front lawn? As in, your legal property? Tell them to **** off if you don't want them there. That, or start spreading out some blood and bone or Charlie Carp while they're having their cliquey drinks. **** that for a joke. They have a hide.

No, I don't really socialise with my neighbours beyond a hello or wave or DD bailing them up to talk to them. We're in a unit building with a total of 6 units. I don't even know the names of the people in two of them. I used to know the names of everyone in the building. Now I DGAF as long as they leave us alone.

#11 Jane Jetson

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:46 PM

I don't want to be good friends with neighbours. In our last place, the last rental, we were friendly with one side and she did not understand that when I was working from home I was working, and that I couldn't let her in for a good hour or two's worth of chat each day.

In the current place the neighbours on one side absolutely hate us and have been very rude to our tradies as a result, and I'm pretty sure it's them throwing takeaway containers into our yard. We made the terrible error of putting up with their heavy bass all day every day for six months and then trying to ask them to turn the bass (not the music) down a bit. Someone like that, you can't be friends with. We take the high road, ignore them and just put their rubbish in the bin.

The young bloke on the other side, he has it right. We know each others' names, we bring around incorrectly delivered parcels to each other (the other side I reckon threw at least one of ours out), we're not besties but we exist nicely alongside each other and show each other courtesy. That's what it's all about.

#12 ytt

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:54 PM

Hell yes, one I take a bottle of wine to :) I walked their dog tonight as they are away even though their boys are home. They've been there for us through our sh*t, we've been there for them for their sh*t. Our kids grew up together, older kids have  not stayed connected when they went to different high schools but DD and their DS are close, brother and sister close.

Other neighbours we chat, look after dogs when going away but not social. We are semi rural so not in each others pockets.

#13 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 20 October 2019 - 06:59 PM


Im sorry your neighbours have been so rude to you. Do you know what has caused it?  


2 sets of neighbours we are friendly with to the point we give each other Christmas cards, watch their house if they go away and stop and have a friendly chat if we see them. But they are a fair bit older than us so we don't tend to 'hang out'.

One we never see and one keeps changing.

Ive heard recently that English people have a big culture of popping into each others houses for tea and biscuits and they find it tough in Australia.

But honestly I really wouldn't like it if people popped in randomly while I was about to get into the shower or catching up on work emails or something and expected me to entertain them.  Just don't have time for it sadly.

#14 Chocolate Addict

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:19 PM

I don't know any of our neighbours. We have been here 10 years and not even so much as a wave.

I know the lady 5 houses down, only cos she used to work at the post office so I would see her weekly.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to know them and other times I am kinda glad we don't.

#15 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:27 PM

One side I know and chat to now and then, mostly only chat when there is an issue though, a friendly issue usually.

The others I don’t know at all yet other then a brief wave.

I think it’s highly unlikely that the people I happen to live next to would also be someone I’d want to be friends with. You don’t get to choose your neighbours. So socialising with a neighbour would be unlikely.

It’s also very risky. Have a fight with a friend, and you never have to see them again. Fight with a neighbour, and you’re stuck with them until someone moves out, which could be never. I’d rather not be friends in the first place than risk a bad friendship break up.

#16 lizzzard

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:28 PM

Hang on... they’re socialising on your front lawn...why don’t you just go out and join in? They’re probably out there saying ‘I wonder what’s up with OP?? Is she waiting for an invitation or something?!’

Edited by lizzzard, 20 October 2019 - 07:30 PM.

#17 Leslie Knope

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:28 PM

View Post~J_F~, on 20 October 2019 - 06:25 PM, said:

Nope and I don’t care too :)

This. Social anxiety FTW!

#18 Bono25

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:33 PM

Hell no. Well my midwife for my second kid lives across the road and we talk to her, and one side are an older couple who we keep a bit of an eye on. The other side, I talk to occasionally but dp won't.

#19 No Drama Please

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:37 PM

I have to hear more about the lawn! Why is it your lawn everyone hangs out on?

#20 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:38 PM

one side we kind of do....we’ve had them over for xmas drinks, been to his 60th (at home....not off site) ....we take out their bins if they’re on holidays and vice versa ...other side, god no, we barely make eye contact. they have three boys - two of whom share the names of my two boys...coincidence - i see one of their boys walking around from time to time ...the other two i wouldn’t know what they look like.  i know the other couple two doors up - i chat to her as we are in the same industry and he’s quite active politically - that’s about it ...

#21 José

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:39 PM

View Postlizzzard, on 20 October 2019 - 07:28 PM, said:

Hang on... they’re socialising on your front lawn...why don’t you just go out and join in? They’re probably out there saying ‘I wonder what’s up with OP?? Is she waiting for an invitation or something?!’

My thoughts exactly!

#22 Fennel Salad

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:40 PM

Yes, have coffee catch ups, occasional dinners, Xmas drinks, even holidayed with one. We've all known each other for many years.

#23 -Emissary-

Posted 20 October 2019 - 07:40 PM

We say hi to the neighbours when we run into them but we don’t socialise.

I grew up in a townhouse complex. The kids all play with each other and the parents would socialise. I am still friends with some of the kids I grew up with. That was awesome. I sometimes want to move into a townhouse complex hoping my kids would get the same experience.

#24 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 20 October 2019 - 08:24 PM

I agree - take out a glass of wine and join in. They will either accept this or move their socialising elsewhere.

We get on well with our neighbours, but only socialise with the people a couple of doors up who have a child the same age as DD.


Posted 20 October 2019 - 08:25 PM

You need to tell them to get the **** off your lawn. No way that is in any way acceptable.

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