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Friday night fun - basic etiquette


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#1 Wolf87

Posted 18 October 2019 - 07:32 PM

Friday night thread

Seen on Facebook and thought I’d ask here - what is a basic etiquette everyone should know that not everyone follows?

Mine -

Putting bags all over seats on trains at peak hour

People getting on a lift in front of you when you were there first (I’m talking when the amount of people waiting won’t all fit on the lift)

People who walk four abreast realllllyyyyy slowly on a footpath

What are yours?



#2 Lunafreya

Posted 18 October 2019 - 07:51 PM

People who stop in front of escalators, especially down ones.

#3 Riotproof

Posted 18 October 2019 - 07:51 PM

 Lunafreya, on 18 October 2019 - 07:51 PM, said:

People who stop in front of escalators, especially down ones.

Stop for how long?

#4 AsperHacker

Posted 18 October 2019 - 07:53 PM

There is no basic etiquette. It depends on culture and subculture. Basic etiquette is a misnomer that people like to thrown around when they're frustrated that other people aren't conforming to make them comfortable.

Just ask people to move their bags, suck it up when people get on the lift in front of you or move faster, ask the people on the path to let you through. So much more simple than getting cranky that people divert from your idea of etiquette.

#5 AprilEthereal

Posted 18 October 2019 - 07:57 PM

Say thank you when someone does something for you and that extends to the roads. When someone lets you in, wave your hand. I don't particularly like it when I stop and let someone through and they don't acknowledge it. It's just basic manners and courtesy. Good manners are important.

#6 ~J_F~

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:01 PM

I don’t think there is any kind of etiquette everyone should know. Expecting people to play by your rules just makes you feel crap when it doesn’t happen then the other person when they can’t abide by your etiquette expectation.

I say this as someone who struggles with this stuff and as a parent of a child with ASD who finds it hard too.

I get you meant it as fluffy but I guess it hit a nerve in me.

Edited by ~J_F~, 18 October 2019 - 08:13 PM.


#7 No Drama Please

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:01 PM

Don’t stop halfway down the middle of the stairs during peak hour at the train station to send text messages or play candy crush on your phone or WTF it is you’re doing.

Don’t stand half out of the lift, having a lovely chat with Jeremy from accounting about what you are doing in the weekend, while everyone in the lift is waiting to go.

I don’t drink that much milk at work so don’t really care if you “borrow” my milk, but don’t finish it and put the empty carton back in the fridge, I think I have enough then there’s none at morning tea time!

#8 Wolf87

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:01 PM

 AsperHacker, on 18 October 2019 - 07:53 PM, said:

There is no basic etiquette. It depends on culture and subculture. Basic etiquette is a misnomer that people like to thrown around when they're frustrated that other people aren't conforming to make them comfortable.

Just ask people to move their bags, suck it up when people get on the lift in front of you or move faster, ask the people on the path to let you through. So much more simple than getting cranky that people divert from your idea of etiquette.

Ok, was supposed to be a fluffy thread! I do all of the things you mentioned above, what else am I going to do? Clothesline the person pushing past me to get on the lift? Throw a person onto the road when they’re blocking my path?

Don’t call it etiquette then, call it manners. I’m sorry if it annoys me that when I am hyper aware of making sure I’m being mindful of the rest of the population, some people just don’t GAF.

#9 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:03 PM

Not taking a second piece / serving of anything unless everyone has had an opportunity to have a first piece.

Not eating the gluten / dairy / vegan or whatever food if you don't require it and there isn't much there.

#10 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:06 PM

Being considerate of those behind you in a crowd when watching something ( parade, sporting event )

wiping down gym equipment, not hogging gym equipment, putting weights back

Not talking on your phone while somebody is trying to serve you in a shop

#11 born.a.girl

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:07 PM

It's not 'etiquette', it's often unwritten cultural social expectations.

Ironically, what's considered 'good manners' in one culture, can be quite the opposite in another.

You don't want that person opposite you on the train continually sniffing?  Well they don't want you to carry the slime from your nose, wrapped in a tissue, in your pocket either.

That one's a classic example.

#12 Riotproof

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:07 PM

 Wolf87, on 18 October 2019 - 08:01 PM, said:



Ok, was supposed to be a fluffy thread! I do all of the things you mentioned above, what else am I going to do? Clothesline the person pushing past me to get on the lift? Throw a person onto the road when they’re blocking my path?

Don’t call it etiquette then, call it manners. I’m sorry if it annoys me that when I am hyper aware of making sure I’m being mindful of the rest of the population, some people just don’t GAF.

But it is cultural. People are not necessarily trying to annoy you.

I cannot get on an escalator till I’ve seen one stair go through. Cannot do it. I’d really like to.
It annoys me that people don’t walk on the left, so I shout at my own kids “to the left, to the left”.
Being aware of other people is not overly hard, but we all need to do it, not just the rule breakers.

#13 gettin my fance on

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:10 PM

Don't make a phone call and then start biting into and chewing on your nice crisp apple into the phone once the other party answers your call.

Don't take your full supermarket trolley onto the escalator and get it jammed when you get to the top or bottom of said escalator when there is a travelator just over there for you to use with your trolley.

Say please when requesting something/some service and say thank you when the request is filled.

Edited by gettin my fance on, 18 October 2019 - 11:02 PM.


#14 born.a.girl

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:11 PM

 Riotproof, on 18 October 2019 - 08:07 PM, said:

But it is cultural. People are not necessarily trying to annoy you.

I cannot get on an escalator till I’ve seen one stair go through. Cannot do it. I’d really like to.
It annoys me that people don’t walk on the left, so I shout at my own kids “to the left, to the left”.
Being aware of other people is not overly hard, but we all need to do it, not just the rule breakers.


Then you go travelling and it's 'to the right, to the right'.

#15 Riotproof

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:12 PM

Yes. So so hard. But you do try.

#16 AsperHacker

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:15 PM

 Wolf87, on 18 October 2019 - 08:01 PM, said:

Ok, was supposed to be a fluffy thread! I do all of the things you mentioned above, what else am I going to do? Clothesline the person pushing past me to get on the lift? Throw a person onto the road when they’re blocking my path?

Don’t call it etiquette then, call it manners. I’m sorry if it annoys me that when I am hyper aware of making sure I’m being mindful of the rest of the population, some people just don’t GAF.

Ah I broke the fluffy thread etiquette. Might be fluffy to you, not so much to those who don't fit with social norms.You seem to be rather bothered by people getting a lift before you. You could just be patient and not so worried about being *beaten* onto a lift?!? You could walk around people on a path. I find it VERY hard to believe that you encounter so many people who won't move over when you ask!Manners is no different to etiquette. Same cultural issues. You're not being mindful of the population, you're being mindful of what you think is right. And yeah, I don't GAF about your social rules. Things that will actually harm you, I will learn about, your arbitrary idea of manners that only serve to make you comfortable over anyone else, yep don't GAF.

#17 Wolf87

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:17 PM

 Riotproof, on 18 October 2019 - 08:07 PM, said:



But it is cultural. People are not necessarily trying to annoy you.

I cannot get on an escalator till I’ve seen one stair go through. Cannot do it. I’d really like to.
It annoys me that people don’t walk on the left, so I shout at my own kids “to the left, to the left”.
Being aware of other people is not overly hard, but we all need to do it, not just the rule breakers.

Again fluffy, but I totally get what you’re saying. I give the benefit of the doubt to most things, like people who sit on the aisle seat of the train (maybe anxiety or getting off at next stop), people who don’t say thank you when you hold a door open (maybe social anxiety) but I’m talking about the kind of obvious stuff. Like is queuing cultural? Maybe it is, I’m up for being educated!

#18 AsperHacker

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:20 PM

 Wolf87, on 18 October 2019 - 08:17 PM, said:

Again fluffy, but I totally get what you’re saying. I give the benefit of the doubt to most things, like people who sit on the aisle seat of the train (maybe anxiety or getting off at next stop), people who don’t say thank you when you hold a door open (maybe social anxiety) but I’m talking about the kind of obvious stuff. Like is queuing cultural? Maybe it is, I’m up for being educated!

Yep, not waiting your *turn* at a lift is cultural. And not just different country cultural. I could rattle off a gazillion reasons to get on a lift before my turn that are acceptable to me but don't fit doing something for politeness.

#19 Wolf87

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:20 PM

 AsperHacker, on 18 October 2019 - 08:15 PM, said:



Ah I broke the fluffy thread etiquette. Might be fluffy to you, not so much to those who don't fit with social norms.You seem to be rather bothered by people getting a lift before you. You could just be patient and not so worried about being *beaten* onto a lift?!? You could walk around people on a path. I find it VERY hard to believe that you encounter so many people who won't move over when you ask!Manners is no different to etiquette. Same cultural issues. You're not being mindful of the population, you're being mindful of what you think is right. And yeah, I don't GAF about your social rules. Things that will actually harm you, I will learn about, your arbitrary idea of manners that only serve to make you comfortable over anyone else, yep don't GAF.

Ugh, it was a joke. As in the fluffy thing. If someone pushes past on a lift and it means some old lady to wait for the next one, I’ll get annoyed. We are obviously completely different people, so there’s no point discussing it.

#20 AsperHacker

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:23 PM

 Wolf87, on 18 October 2019 - 08:20 PM, said:

Ugh, it was a joke. As in the fluffy thing. If someone pushes past on a lift and it means some old lady to wait for the next one, I’ll get annoyed. We are obviously completely different people, so there’s no point discussing it.

Ah thanks for telling me it was a joke! I missed that 😂 It's not about being different people, although I suspect you're not part of a culture outside Australian norms, it's about being aware enough to not be an ass.

#21 Pocket...

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:24 PM

What's the details of not talking on the phone when being served in shop? For a starting point, I have worked in food service places and never been bothered by people ordering whilst being on the phone. Most people manage to say please and thank you and give eye contact or a smile so I didn't find it rude or inconvenient.

#22 123tree

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:24 PM

I find it frustrating when I am somewhere busy and it is crowded and people sit on stairs. It makes it very hard for the crowd to move and it can be unsafe.  

People stopping right in front of the bottom of the down escalator as said above. Coming days end there is no where to go.

ASD family here so although we probably accidentally commit many etiquette misdemeanours ourselves I hate people rolling their eyes or huffing at my kids when they are having a meltdown.

#23 Mrs_greyhound

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:26 PM

 AsperHacker, on 18 October 2019 - 08:15 PM, said:



Ah I broke the fluffy thread etiquette. Might be fluffy to you, not so much to those who don't fit with social norms.You seem to be rather bothered by people getting a lift before you. You could just be patient and not so worried about being *beaten* onto a lift?!? You could walk around people on a path. I find it VERY hard to believe that you encounter so many people who won't move over when you ask!Manners is no different to etiquette. Same cultural issues. You're not being mindful of the population, you're being mindful of what you think is right. And yeah, I don't GAF about your social rules. Things that will actually harm you, I will learn about, your arbitrary idea of manners that only serve to make you comfortable over anyone else, yep don't GAF.

Where I live the shopping centres are massively lacking in lifts. You can easily wait 5 minutes for one to arrive. A typical trip to the shops with a pram means I need to catch a lift about 6 times to get from the car park into the shops, then up and down the various six levels of shops. So I probably lose 20-30 minutes of time just waiting for lifts. So if someone pushes ahead of me and I have to wait for another lift, I’m usually pretty peeved. Especially as the person pushing in front is usually someone who could use the escalator, ie no pram or walking frame or stick.

#24 Riotproof

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:27 PM

 Wolf87, on 18 October 2019 - 08:17 PM, said:



Again fluffy, but I totally get what you’re saying. I give the benefit of the doubt to most things, like people who sit on the aisle seat of the train (maybe anxiety or getting off at next stop), people who don’t say thank you when you hold a door open (maybe social anxiety) but I’m talking about the kind of obvious stuff. Like is queuing cultural? Maybe it is, I’m up for being educated!

Queuing is cultural. You may need to assert your place in some scenarios. Personally, I don’t generally speaking. I hate conflict.

#25 Wolf87

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:30 PM

 AsperHacker, on 18 October 2019 - 08:23 PM, said:



Ah thanks for telling me it was a joke! I missed that It's not about being different people, although I suspect you're not part of a culture outside Australian norms, it's about being aware enough to not be an ass.

I’m Irish ;)




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