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Baby Budget Five Month


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#51 Silverstreak

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:12 PM

I would get both a carrier and a pram. Prams are good for shopping e.g. you can put groceries in the basket underneath and also for when your arms and back get tired. I had a big baby and by eight months there was no way I could carry him around in a carrier, he was just too heavy.

Oh yeah, from three months onwards, our DS loved those little mats with animals on them and those little arches with mobiles hanging off them. It would keep him occupied for a while and he used it for months.

Also, be prepared to do extra laundry, babies can posset (spit up) particularly when they're moving around on their tummies etc. So clothes, bibs, sheets and baby blankets, rugs etc will need to be washed regularly.

Do keep asking questions and hanging around this forum, the ladies here are a wealth of information. Also check out the birth to six months section and there's a section on buying and dressing for baby (or there was, it's been a while since I visited that area of EB!)

EFS

Edited by Silverstreak, 13 October 2019 - 07:14 PM.


#52 Ivy Ivy

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:13 PM

I'm not saying anyone has anything in particular, but want to say the following.  It may be removed I suppose.  I certainly don't intend to flout any EB rules.

Some people have disabilities that prevent them set shifting topic once fixated, and prevent them appreciating the importance of emotional needs in others (e.g. people with autistic spectrum difficulties can't easily understand others will have emotional connection needs).  To help such people it's useful to give practical advice.  I know it's easy to become frustrated, if not angry, when interacting with people with these sorts of impairments.

Coffee Guy, I think it's good that you are reaching out and asking questions about the very important job of caring for the baby.  I can see that you are taking on some of the advice, like daycare facts, and baby carriers etc.  I think parenting is so much easier when the village wisdom can help.  Trying to do it all alone without people to bounce ideas off can lead to disastrous outcomes.  It's good you can be supported on EB and have your questions answered.

#53 born.a.girl

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:14 PM

 Claudia Jean, on 13 October 2019 - 06:58 PM, said:

Just on this point, St Kilda Mums dont deal directly with recipients. I'd suggest contacting a social worker but since OP isn't in financial difficulty, but is actually just a tight-a*se, there may be limited support they can provide/ that will be recieved..

It's true he's a tight-a*se, but he actually also has no money, and lives in a room in a share house.   The baby shouldn't suffer for that.  

Didn't know that about St Kilda Mums now, gosh they've grown, the last I had anything to do with them was about 12 years ago.

#54 ~J_F~

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:19 PM

 Ivy Ivy, on 13 October 2019 - 07:13 PM, said:

I'm not saying anyone has anything in particular, but want to say the following.  It may be removed I suppose.  I certainly don't intend to flout any EB rules.

Some people have disabilities that prevent them set shifting topic once fixated, and prevent them appreciating the importance of emotional needs in others (e.g. people with autistic spectrum difficulties can't easily understand others will have emotional connection needs).  To help such people it's useful to give practical advice.  I know it's easy to become frustrated, if not angry, when interacting with people with these sorts of impairments.

Coffee Guy, I think it's good that you are reaching out and asking questions about the very important job of caring for the baby.  I can see that you are taking on some of the advice, like daycare facts, and baby carriers etc.  I think parenting is so much easier when the village wisdom can help.  Trying to do it all alone without people to bounce ideas off can lead to disastrous outcomes.  It's good you can be supported on EB and have your questions answered.


Just no...

#55 Claudia Jean

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:23 PM

 born.a.girl, on 13 October 2019 - 07:14 PM, said:



It's true he's a tight-a*se, but he actually also has no money, and lives in a room in a share house.   The baby shouldn't suffer for that.  

Didn't know that about St Kilda Mums now, gosh they've grown, the last I had anything to do with them was about 12 years ago.

He's living in a share house and saving $100s per week by his own admission!

I still have suspicions as to whether the account is genuine.

#56 Ivy Ivy

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:28 PM

 ~J_F~, on 13 October 2019 - 07:19 PM, said:

Just no...


I'm trying to point out a pile on might not be great if there are understanding difficulties that are a result of a disability.

#57 ~J_F~

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:33 PM

 Ivy Ivy, on 13 October 2019 - 07:28 PM, said:

I'm trying to point out a pile on might not be great if there are understanding difficulties that are a result of a disability.

By using generalisations about disabilities...

We fight against those kind of generalisations every day, so I stand by my just no!

#58 born.a.girl

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:36 PM

 Claudia Jean, on 13 October 2019 - 07:23 PM, said:

He's living in a share house and saving $100s per week by his own admission!

I still have suspicions as to whether the account is genuine.


On the second point, absolutely, but stranger things have happened.

On the first point, it's a casual job, and I know from my 27 yo how that can suddenly turn into two week  of no work.

#59 Ivy Ivy

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:41 PM

 ~J_F~, on 13 October 2019 - 07:33 PM, said:

By using generalisations about disabilities...

We fight against those kind of generalisations every day, so I stand by my just no!

A fairly common feature of autism spectrum disorders is emotional reciprocity difficulties, e.g. understanding that a child will need something more than just to be fed and clothed.  Mental health problems can lead to impairments and disabilities.  My comments were intentionally general.

#60 TrixieBelden

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:42 PM

I am pretty worried about this plan. Do you think it would be possible for the first visit to be much shorter and build up to spending nights with you? It is going to be very hard for you and the baby.  It can be very very stressful to deal with an unsettled and crying baby for a long period, esoecially when you are not used to it. I think shorter periods and seeking out some support would be the best and safest thing to do.

I am not criticising you, I hope you know that we have all been there with a small baby and we are just trying to offer suggestions to make sure this is a positive experience for you both. At the end of the day everybody wants both parents and baby to be physically and emotionally safe.

I am not sure where you are but in NSW various charities can refer you to a FACS programme called Brighter Futures that can offer parenting support.  I wonder if support of that kind would help both of you as parents.

#61 ~J_F~

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:47 PM

 Ivy Ivy, on 13 October 2019 - 07:41 PM, said:

A fairly common feature of autism spectrum disorders is emotional reciprocity difficulties, e.g. understanding that a child will need something more than just to be fed and clothed.  Mental health problems can lead to impairments and disabilities.  My comments were intentionally general.

It doesnt make it ok to use disabilities to dismiss the crap happening here as a disability, when it appears old mate may just be a tightwad!!

Edited by ~J_F~, 13 October 2019 - 07:48 PM.


#62 Freddie'sMum

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:48 PM

Babies don't care about budgets.

Babies need warmth and unconditional love.  They need THEIR needs for food and shelter met first, above your needs / wants.

#63 CoffeeGuy

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:53 PM

 TrixieBelden, on 13 October 2019 - 07:42 PM, said:

I am pretty worried about this plan. Do you think it would be possible for the first visit to be much shorter and build up to spending nights with you? It is going to be very hard for you and the baby.  It can be very very stressful to deal with an unsettled and crying baby for a long period, esoecially when you are not used to it. I think shorter periods and seeking out some support would be the best and safest thing to do.

I am not criticising you, I hope you know that we have all been there with a small baby and we are just trying to offer suggestions to make sure this is a positive experience for you both. At the end of the day everybody wants both parents and baby to be physically and emotionally safe.

I am not sure where you are but in NSW various charities can refer you to a FACS programme called Brighter Futures that can offer parenting support.  I wonder if support of that kind would help both of you as parents.

I was a bit concerned with two days which is why I suggested just 24 hour.  If he is crying I can struggle through.  If it is 48 hour that will be much more tough.  I want this sleep over to go smoothly so he can have sleep over more in the future.

I'll ask the mother if she is ok with it being just 24 hours this first time.

I have looked after him during the day before and that was ok.

Edited by CoffeeGuy, 13 October 2019 - 07:58 PM.


#64 born.a.girl

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:56 PM

 CoffeeGuy, on 13 October 2019 - 07:53 PM, said:

I was a bit concerned with two days which is why I suggested just 24 hour.  If he is crying I can struggle through.  If it is 48 hour that will be much more tough.  I want this sleep over to go smoothly so he can have sleep over more in the future.

I'll ask the mother if she is ok with it being just 24 hours this first time.

I have looked after him during the day before and they was ok.

What about the others in the house, though?   They might not be o.k. with you 'struggling through'.  I'd honestly encourage you to only think about daytime for a start, so that you can go out with a pram if he's unsettled.

As parents always say: it never seems so bad out in the fresh air.  It's the four walls that get you.

#65 born.a.girl

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:11 PM

I wonder if it's the lack of protein ...

#66 Anon wife

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:11 PM

I hope this is a troll because I cannot even...so messed up. If there is a real child involved you don’t need financial advice you need to step up & be there ffs

#67 born.a.girl

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:34 PM

Op if you're going to be looking after your son longer term, you need to look at nutrition, not just calories.

Your diet seems to be seriously lacking in protein, not to mention vitamins and minerals: eggs, meat, cheese, veggies, fruit?  Your kid could live quite happily without most of the things on your list, but not protein, fruit and veggies.

#68 alfoil hat

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:41 PM

Is it really fair to bring up a person’s posts on another forum? He hasn’t denied it but it’s not even confirmed to be the same person (and yes I have seen the thread in question). There are several people I know of on both EB and whirlpool, one particularly who has posted a lot of personal information here and I wouldn’t dream of putting that on whirlpool for them.

OP, I think we are trying to give you a reality check. Please take all the parents seriously here who say the baby’s needs must come first. Hopefully that will fit with your budget but if it doesn’t, unfortunately you just have to deal. That’s the way it is with kids.

#69 Freddie'sMum

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:04 PM

Righto - let's take the posting in the other forum off the table.

OP wants to have all of baby's expenses to be separate from his / or the mother's expenses.  That simply doesn't happen when you are a parent.  You cannot divide the power bill between you and baby !  You - the adult parent - pay for what your baby / child needs.  

And those needs change all the time.  What you need for a 6 month old is NOT what you will need when your child is 6 and going to school. Either way - you are the parent and it is your responsibility to provide for your child.

I remember an Oprah episode from years ago when she interviewed a woman who had grown up in a frugal family.  This particular woman needed something like glasses (when she was a child) but her frugal parents wouldn't buy them for her.  It was beyond awful.  It affected this lady's life for the worse.

I have a feeling the OP is like the frugal parents on the Oprah show ....

#70 qak

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:04 PM

I have to say the focus on $ is OTT, but I know I had no idea what having a baby around was like before I had kids.

Give him a chance, I hope he asks whatever he needs to know!

Are there any current books on caring for babies and kids EB could recommend for him?

#71 SeaPrincess

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:04 PM

OP, where did you get those figures from?

Family tax is based on your income. It is assumed you will use some of your income to care for your child.

Full fees at the daycare we used were $125/day. We haven’t had a child in daycare for 6 years - I can only assume it’s gone up. You can’t base the calculations on how the current child care assistance works. You need to get a price, then reduce the cost by whatever you will be eligible for. It  may not even be the same as whatever the mother is paying. Also, if you really will be having full time care of the child, will you continue to use an existing daycare or will you be looking for a new one? If you need a new one, you should start looking and applying for places now.

Get some parenting help. You need a much better understanding of the needs of a baby in terms of nurturing, stimulation, nutrition, everything!


#72 Prancer is coming

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:18 PM

 CoffeeGuy, on 13 October 2019 - 03:02 PM, said:




I originally suggested 24 hour but mother asked "why not till Sunday".  I hope it will be ok.  No support.  I'll have to baby safe my room before he is crawling.


His mum has asked you to have your son for 48 hours already, so I would not clarify with her again.  She has been a solo mum for 5 months by the sound of it, so you will just need to struggle through.  

Given you don’t get FTB and sounds like you have not started paying for child care, I am not sure where you got your figures from for your budget?  If baby is going to be staying regularly, then there will be an outlay on things such as bed, car seat, prams bottles, clothes.  If cost is an issue, gumtree, marketplace and op shops can help, though make sure you know about safety requirements for car seats, cots and prams.  Some people get funny about sharing baby items between 2 homes.  And not going to give her a break if she has to pack a bag every time for you, unless she wants to.  So you will need to just suck up the cost with establishing the basics and then hopefully it settles down.

Do you pay maintenance?  If it is less than the amount in your budget, you can see how inadequate the figure would be, or even if it is similar or above.  Child support sets out the minimum figure.  If you are not assisting towards baby’s other costs eg establishing initial furniture/products, cost of health visits, new clothes, could be worth upping what you pay in maintenance to further support your child.

#73 lucky 2

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:33 PM

Hello,

I have removed some posts that refer to and contain information from a different forum.
Responses have also been removed.
This is not permitted per the EB Forum Rules.

If you have concerns regarding a fellow member please notify EB Administation.

Regards,

lucky 2
Moderator

#74 Lou-bags

Posted 13 October 2019 - 11:33 PM

Coffee Guy I don’t know what state you are in but can I suggest you look up the number for the parenting helpline in your state prior to your baby’s sleepover?

These lines are for all parents who need some advice or support, and I have called the WA one a few times myself. You will get practical and compassionate advice.

Caring for a baby solo for the first time overnight is a
BIG deal. I know you are focusing on finances right now, and I’m not sure why, but you are about to be in sole charge of another human, a tiny helpless one. Your child. I would encourage you to reflect on how this is a wonderful opportunity to build on your relationship with him.

Please also remember that this is the very first time your baby will be away from the one person who has been his everything so far. Be kind and patient with him. He may find this hard, and that’s ok. You don’t have to fix that for him, just be with him and love him, respect this is a huge thing for him as well as for you. Best of luck to you both. I hope it goes really well.

#75 Sweet.Pea

Posted 13 October 2019 - 11:53 PM

 born.a.girl, on 13 October 2019 - 08:34 PM, said:

Op if you're going to be looking after your son longer term, you need to look at nutrition, not just calories.

Your diet seems to be seriously lacking in protein, not to mention vitamins and minerals: eggs, meat, cheese, veggies, fruit?  Your kid could live quite happily without most of the things on your list, but not protein, fruit and veggies.

Babies actually don't need much protein in their diet. Fruit is also regularly overfed.

Their main diet should be cereals, milk and vegetables.

Not sure where this comes into it though - the baby is 5 months so still has another month. OP can buy ready made food for at least 4 months before it starts costing too much.




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