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How do you manage getting stuff done?


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#26 jayskette

Posted 12 October 2019 - 06:17 PM

Ask my DH how he gets anything done. He hasn't been paid for the past 3 months. Yet he is so damn enthuastic about getting his work duties done. I argue getting paid is even more important.

#27 Let-it-go

Posted 12 October 2019 - 08:04 PM

I compile stuff in my head, forget a few times, chastise myself, make a list, lose the lost, re-compile in my head, randomly mention at dinner time, not always out loud and then finally yell at everyone that they haven’t done anything to help.  They scamper off mentioning under their breath that they are not mind readers.  

Occasionally I stick a list on the fridge which everyone ignores and in a huff I ring my FIL to come and do fixing jobs.  I then also just pay a cleaner to clean all the things that no one else will clean and I can’t be bothered to clean.

I generally get by on the seat of my pants, pay way too much money for things like return flights from holidays because I only remember to book one way.  I find it keeps life interesting.  Being organised, it turns out, is not for me :laugh:.

#28 -Emissary-

Posted 12 October 2019 - 08:12 PM

I’m pretty disorganised and don’t keep lists or reminders in my calendar. Things just done when it needs to be done.

Having said that, I usually do things immediately while I have it on my mind and don’t put it aside so I rarely miss not doing something. Email reminders to renew car insurances helps. I usually pay all the bills immediately when it comes in or have already been paying them monthly so always ahead. I ask DS to remind me if he needs anything for school and he’s warned that if it gets missed then it’s his fault.

The tasks are split with me taking care of all the administrate things and DH does all the necessary house maintenance stuff. I nag him occasionally if I really want something done but usually leave him to decide when it gets done. So in saying that, the baby room probably won’t get painted for a while 😅

Edited by -Emissary-, 12 October 2019 - 08:14 PM.


#29 petal71

Posted 12 October 2019 - 08:42 PM

Im definitely on the disorganised side. I write lists for day-to-day stuff and tasks that are upcoming, but I lack any long term system. I just rely on bills / email reminders coming in, bills get stuck on filing cabinet as visual reminder, or some are DDebit.

I love the idea of Evernote, OneNote etc but I struggle to actually put it into action. I much prefer paper-based, but then I hate taking diary out and about.

What I do a lot of is email myself at work email for important things, that way I do tend to take those 5 mins to make calls that otherwise wouldn't get made.

#30 iwanttosleepin

Posted 12 October 2019 - 08:59 PM

I write the really important stuff on the back of my hand....I have iPhone lists, calendars etc but the hand list works best.

#31 petal71

Posted 12 October 2019 - 09:07 PM

So true about the hand list!! I always feel like I'm back at school, but it works as you see it all the time!

#32 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 12 October 2019 - 09:10 PM

I use Michael Linenbergers Mind Your Now system, with a dose of David Allen’s system alongside, in a task management app on my phone.  There’s a free version of the book available.

https://www.michaell...enberger.com/

One key thing is to write down an actual next action to take, how long it should take (5 mins, 30 mins etc) and the info needed to do it.
‘Cooktop’ is a reminder. ‘Fix cooktop’ isn’t actionable by you.
‘5 mins call bobs electrics on 1234 4567 book time cooktop’ is something you can just do. The working it out part was already one. (Who to call, finding the number)
If you don’t know who to call, the action is ‘10 mins google local electrician that does cooktops’ or ‘20 mins phone mum who is her electrician’



#33 Ivy Ivy

Posted 12 October 2019 - 09:17 PM

I don't write lists bar a shopping list bluetacked up near the panty which everyone adds to.  I'm wondering what tasks are on PPs lists and whether I'm missing important household task management .... probably.

Social events and medical etc appointments get written onto a big paper wall calendar in the kitchen, as do "wear PE uniform today", "take violin Tuesdays" type regular kid-school reminders.  

Perhaps I forget a lot of tasks?  Not sure, but there aren't significant negative consequences, so it's probably all okay.

#34 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 12 October 2019 - 10:18 PM

Oh another thing Im going to start doing personally - Im planning to learn one new thing every day related to my field of employment so that I can feel like I'm 'in the loop' when I go back to work. Ive been pulling myself away from EB to read more tech articles online.  (must.break.EB. addiction!  LOL)

#35 ExpatInAsia

Posted 12 October 2019 - 10:19 PM

The more senior I get the more I realized I can’t carry the mental load. I also realized DH needs to do more beyond what I ask him to do and start sharing the mental load.

It took a few tantrums ( from me) for DH to re-evaluate he was not doing enough. I don’t believe men are crap at doing this. I think they are smart, realize carrying the mental load is tedious and boring and happily let the women in their life do it until they are pushed to do so.

My lightbulb moment was realizing that I was not asking DH to do anything more than what I did. And if I could do it while undertaking a more stressful, senior career then there was no excuse for DH not stepping up. I now believe that we get what we settle for.

I helped DH initially but now take the view that DH can work it out. I no longer hold him to low expectations - I expect him to do mostly as I do (in his own style) and he does. Initially I did not know whether to be thrilled he could do what was needed or mad that he could have been doing this from the start. I chose to let that go but won’t ever lower my expectations again.

Edited by ExpatInAsia, 12 October 2019 - 10:20 PM.


#36 Sweet.Pea

Posted 13 October 2019 - 02:14 AM

View PostExpatInAsia, on 12 October 2019 - 10:19 PM, said:

The more senior I get the more I realized I can’t carry the mental load. I also realized DH needs to do more beyond what I ask him to do and start sharing the mental load.

It took a few tantrums ( from me) for DH to re-evaluate he was not doing enough. I don’t believe men are crap at doing this. I think they are smart, realize carrying the mental load is tedious and boring and happily let the women in their life do it until they are pushed to do so.

My lightbulb moment was realizing that I was not asking DH to do anything more than what I did. And if I could do it while undertaking a more stressful, senior career then there was no excuse for DH not stepping up. I now believe that we get what we settle for.

I helped DH initially but now take the view that DH can work it out. I no longer hold him to low expectations - I expect him to do mostly as I do (in his own style) and he does. Initially I did not know whether to be thrilled he could do what was needed or mad that he could have been doing this from the start. I chose to let that go but won’t ever lower my expectations again.

I agree with this.

I give my husband tasks and I forget about it. The stovetop burner hasn't been working for months. Not my problem. It's not on my list of things to do.

I'm sure when his family or friends are coming to dinner and he is cooking, he will get frustrated and will call the repair guy on the Monday.

#37 can'tstayaway

Posted 13 October 2019 - 07:45 AM

View PostIvy Ivy, on 12 October 2019 - 09:17 PM, said:

I'm wondering what tasks are on PPs lists and whether I'm missing important household task management .... probably.
I put in my calendar (the house-y one shared with DH) things like house wash or gutter clean. It’s stuff that is easy enough to organise but also easy to forget. The calendar reminder is set for late winter. DH calls the tradie and books it in.  Probably don’t need to do it for a brick house.

The iPhone reminder list is shared so I can add light bulbs to our Bunnings shopping list and it’s sitting there next time one of us is at Bunnings. I find it reduces the thought load because I don’t have to keep remembering ‘must buy x this sized bulbs and y this shaped bulbs’. Either one of us can add to the list or buy it. It’s just a habit of checking the list.

I get cleaners in 3 monthly to do a spring clean of the boring jobs I don’t like doing. That goes in the calendar and the reminder list has a list of jobs I want them to do so I don’t have to remember it all when they arrive.

For kids stuff, I expect the high schoolers to use the iCal as well. If they have important dates or activities, if it’s not in the calendar ahead of time, don’t expect us to be able to help facilitate it.

For the primary aged kid, I have a white board or laminated sheet of the weekly schedule with sports days, library days, swimming etc on the locker/cupboard for school stuff. That child is expected to pack their own bag with the appropriate items each day. They are capable and it’s not part of my thought load.

#38 perthgal3

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:34 AM

My DH & I both work fulltime & have general overall responsibilities e.g. he is in 'charge' of the pool, garden, cars etc & I do food, washing, kids school etc.

This doesn't mean we don't do things from each others areas, we do, but generally we have to specifically delegate it. For example, my DH might do the food shop one week but I will have given him a shopping list. Or I might clean the pool or pay car insurance but I only do it if asked as I don't carry this thought load. So we basically share thought load for half the household stuff.

Memory wise, I use old school post it notes to write a short list & i take it to work with me with the list physically on my mobile phone. I then do this stuff at lunchtime. Daggy, but it works for me.

#39 Feral33

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:46 AM

There is a massive opportunity for someone to make an app (syncs phone/computer; syncs between family) to hold all of of this stuff - calendars, tasks, bills, birthdays, passwords, shopping lists, other lists.

The "tasks" feature in google cal is terrible as it doesn't show up in the phone app. The calendar is very limited with formatting options.

We need all our calendars synced, we need schools/work to make calendars that we can sync and choose subsets of (e.g "grade 1" or "choir").

I can't even get my work outlook calendar to sync to my google calendar properly! [I really have tried everything - all that's left is to download each invitation and upload to cal].

We also need bills to sync into this app and our bank accounts; a reminder of bill; a "pay now" option; a view of current balances.

We need easy templates to customize - e.g. house crap - set up frequencies of chosen tasks - e.g. gutters every 3 months; ducted heating service every 2 years.

So I guess a calendar-email-list-banking-passwordmanager-thing. Can someone make that! Free version can sell adds for doing relaxing stuff as we no-longer need to keep it all in our heads.

#40 can'tstayaway

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:30 AM

View PostFeral33, on 13 October 2019 - 08:46 AM, said:

There is a massive opportunity for someone to make an app (syncs phone/computer; syncs between family) to hold all of of this stuff - calendars, tasks, bills, birthdays, passwords, shopping lists, other lists.

. . .

We need all our calendars synced, we need schools/work to make calendars that we can sync and choose subsets of (e.g "grade 1" or "choir").

. . .  

We also need bills to sync into this app and our bank accounts; a reminder of bill; a "pay now" option; a view of current balances.

We need easy templates to customize - e.g. house crap - set up frequencies of chosen tasks - e.g. gutters every 3 months; ducted heating service every 2 years.

So I guess a calendar-email-list-banking-passwordmanager-thing. Can someone make that! Free version can sell adds for doing relaxing stuff as we no-longer need to keep it all in our heads.
This is why I like the iOS ecosystem. It already exists for free.

We use the Apple iCal calendar. It syncs between phone, computer, iPads and between family members. I can download the school’s or University’s calendar to iCal and select the bits I want.

I have different calendar categories, so some are just visible to me. Others are shared with DH and/the children.

I like the CBA banking app which is easy to use. I also have BPay View set up so bills arrive directly in Netbank and I get an email reminder. From my email, it’s only a simple click (or if I had Siri set up, a voice command) to add it to iCal.

#41 Ruby red shoes

Posted 13 October 2019 - 10:30 AM

For me the thing that helped the most was google calendar. It is synced with dh's devices. We add reminders and upcoming events on there. With 3 kids it is essential. It doesn't guarantee that everything gets done asap, but it does eventually. Like the op I was forever forgetting to call people during business hours.

#42 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 13 October 2019 - 06:30 PM

View PostFeral33, on 13 October 2019 - 08:46 AM, said:

There is a massive opportunity for someone to make an app (syncs phone/computer; syncs between family) to hold all of of this stuff - calendars, tasks, bills, birthdays, passwords, shopping lists, other lists.

The "tasks" feature in google cal is terrible as it doesn't show up in the phone app. The calendar is very limited with formatting options.

We need all our calendars synced, we need schools/work to make calendars that we can sync and choose subsets of (e.g "grade 1" or "choir").

I can't even get my work outlook calendar to sync to my google calendar properly! [I really have tried everything - all that's left is to download each invitation and upload to cal].

We also need bills to sync into this app and our bank accounts; a reminder of bill; a "pay now" option; a view of current balances.

We need easy templates to customize - e.g. house crap - set up frequencies of chosen tasks - e.g. gutters every 3 months; ducted heating service every 2 years.

So I guess a calendar-email-list-banking-passwordmanager-thing. Can someone make that! Free version can sell adds for doing relaxing stuff as we no-longer need to keep it all in our heads.

It’s called Cozi. :).
My family has a very complex calendar (kids with additional needs and up to 20 hour a week of appointments), multiple adults involved etc and the app handles it with ease.  

https://www.cozi.com/

It even allows you to auto load recipes from other websites into it, schedule them as Tuesday notes dinner, and add all the ingredients to the shopping list.


#43 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 13 October 2019 - 08:47 PM

View Postcan, on 13 October 2019 - 09:30 AM, said:

This is why I like the iOS ecosystem. It already exists for free.

We use the Apple iCal calendar. It syncs between phone, computer, iPads and between family members. I can download the school’s or University’s calendar to iCal and select the bits I want.

I have different calendar categories, so some are just visible to me. Others are shared with DH and/the children.

I like the CBA banking app which is easy to use. I also have BPay View set up so bills arrive directly in Netbank and I get an email reminder. From my email, it’s only a simple click (or if I had Siri set up, a voice command) to add it to iCal.

FYI for anyone reading Android also does all of this. Also free.

Edited by WannabeMasterchef, 13 October 2019 - 09:08 PM.


#44 Expelliarmus

Posted 13 October 2019 - 09:10 PM

I apparently stumble around in the dark like a luddite and do things if I think about it.

We're all still alive so it can't be all bad. I would do better ... but I don't have the energy to think about it.

We do things as we go, as they come up and it regularly takes me days or weeks to get something done because I forget to do it. If it becomes urgent I set an alarm on my phone.

#45 can'tstayaway

Posted 14 October 2019 - 05:06 AM

View PostWannabeMasterchef, on 13 October 2019 - 08:47 PM, said:

FYI for anyone reading Android also does all of this. Also free.
Yes, my post was poorly phrased. I didn’t mean to imply that Android doesn’t do it. And the banking stuff is available on both.

Now that our family is fully immersed with iOS, it would be very difficult for us to move to Android (and I guess vice versa) without losing bits or it being a real pain.

#46 IamOzgirl

Posted 14 October 2019 - 08:09 AM

any.do

It's a great app. You can assign task to your DH.

Have a big list and then each week assign 3 things to each other (taking 22FMP approach above)

#47 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 14 October 2019 - 09:34 AM

I put reminders in my phone/calendar. For a day when I am not working, I have a list on the fridge and I write on that during the lead-up to my day off. That morning, I will look at the the list while having breakfast and then try to order it so that I maximise what gets done that day. DH and the kids know to add things to do that if they would like me to do something that day for them.

DH does the same for the weekend - we have a joint list of things that we have to do over the weekend.

some things get acted on straight away, other things might take a while to get around to. We do it when it gets done.

#48 boatiebabe

Posted 14 October 2019 - 10:26 AM

I have a large monthly calendar taped to the pantry door, and we put all the activities/things that need to get done for the month on that so everyone can see at a glance what's coming up, and what to be prepared for.

I also don't take responsibility/or the 'load' for everyone. I just refuse to do it.

Some things don't get done. If it's important enough for someone in the family to have it done - then they take on the responsibility.

Same goes for the kids. They can be responsible for quite a lot, and I feel that I'm helping them to become fully functioning adults in doing so. Things like making sure notes are signed and excursions paid for - training/try out dates are coming up. They've missed out on a couple of things due to prioritising Netflix or Minecraft instead of organising themselves. If it's important to them they step up!

My DH is pretty organised, but he is so busy too, but we work together to try make sure things get done and the family keeps operating.

My biggest piece of advice is to take a step back, allow things to fall apart a little and then pass the responsibility on to the other people in the family.




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