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DS not talking at Daycare

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#1 Norma-Bean Baker

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:09 PM

DS is 23 months old and has been going to daycare 1 day a week, 6-7 hours for the past 6 months. Carer told me today he barely speaks a word there. I said he talks a lot at home and they said maybe he needs to come another day.  He babbled constantly in the car on the way home today pointing out tractors and horses.  I made a quick list off the top of my head of about 30 words he says clearly and then there's the sentences of babble where is have no idea what he's saying!  I think that's about normal??? He understands heaps of what I say. Motor skills, eye contact and affection is great.

I don't want to be one of those in denial parents. If he needs help, I'll accept that and get it immediately, but prior to them mentioning this today, I did feel like DS wasn't making a connection with his carers.  He's never excited to see them like he is with other people. He has relatives that he sees every couple of months and he's excited to see them.  Friends who we might see every 6 months or old friends who we haven't seen since he was a baby and he always warms to them quickly.  He's always trying to get peoples attention when we are out shopping so now I'm worried that maybe he's unhappy there.  He always drops off well, waves to me and off he goes. He's a pretty chilled kid so maybe he's just not getting much attention as he's still in the nursery and he seems to be outnumbered by babies!
I'd never worried about his development before but now I sort of am, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

#2 taters

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:17 PM

I think at that age one day a week at daycare is a huge gap between visits and he may not be as familiar with the carers particularly if it isnt the same ones each time. Multiple days a week means he will get to know different carers and kids. My son did better with 2 days per week than 1 and he is younger than your son.

Could you increase to another day and see how he goes?

#3 I'mBeachedAs

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:17 PM

50 words and joining 2 words together is the minimum expected for 2 years of age. Would be worth looking further at your son's language skills given he is 23 months. I'd get a hearing test and look at seeing a speech pathologist.

#4 Wolf87

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:34 PM

Sounds exactly like my daughter. Can’t comment about the words etc, but my daughter was so quiet at daycare at that age even though she would talk non stop at home. She’s much better now. I know they mean well but it used to do my head in when one educator would go on and on about how quiet she was. She was just shy. I would increase to 2 days though, I don’t think 1 day is ideal.

Edited by Wolf87, 27 September 2019 - 08:35 PM.

#5 Norma-Bean Baker

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:35 PM

He is joining 2 words such as, what's that, I want ...., no, don't want.

#6 Bono25

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:37 PM

Neither of mine talked much at day care until they were about 3 and became more confident. Older with ds. Some kids just take a while to warm up. Another day might help though, but I wouldn't be stressing too much 😊

#7 blimkybill

Posted 27 September 2019 - 09:11 PM

There's nothing you have mentioned which would make me in any way concerned about your son's language development. I might however wonder whether he is happy and getting enough attention at daycare. It's so hard to know because you can't see and you can't ask him. But daycare is not always a wonderful experience for little toddlers and some daycares are not wonderful at providing good quality attention. (Others are fantastic). He may also be getting looked after fine but still not feel completely relaxed and confident there yet.

#8 gracie1978

Posted 27 September 2019 - 09:39 PM

Our director won't accept kids for one day a week, she doesn't think it's in the child's best interests as they never really settle until they go up to two or three days.

So it could be the one day a week?

#9 I'mBeachedAs

Posted 27 September 2019 - 09:52 PM

View PostNorma-Bean Baker, on 27 September 2019 - 08:35 PM, said:

He is joining 2 words such as, what's that, I want ...., no, don't want.
I was going off what you said in your OP - sentences of babble that you don't understand. If your child is joining words together they're likely to be going ok. I'd still keep a close eye on it as there might be a reason he's not talking at daycare.

#10 Grrrumbles

Posted 27 September 2019 - 09:55 PM

Are the other children all much younger? I wonder if he would do better in the toddler room if they have one?

A nursery room should have a lot of talking, singing, reading books etc but if they other children are not verbal maybe the activities do not encourage him to talk much.

My son went to a larger centre that had Nursery, Mini Toddlers, Big Toddlers then Preschool and the room transitions were hard for him but it did mean the rooms were always age appropriate and there was a gradual step up.

#11 Bono25

Posted 27 September 2019 - 09:58 PM

View Postgracie1978, on 27 September 2019 - 09:39 PM, said:

Our director won't accept kids for one day a week, she doesn't think it's in the child's best interests as they never really settle until they go up to two or three days.

So it could be the one day a week?

I have to admit, ds went one day a week for ages, dd went three days pretty much from the start. She settled and is alot happier than ds was for the first couple of years. But dd had also had to deal with ds, she doesn't let anyone push her around lol

#12 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 27 September 2019 - 10:48 PM

I don’t know about the daycare, but any time a parent raises a maybe concern about toddlers and communicating I always suggest the 2 easiest things to screen for are any hearing issue with a kids hearing test and to try this app from LaTrobe uni which screens kids at risk for ASD.  Asdetect.org will take maybe 20mins.

#13 Daffy2016

Posted 28 September 2019 - 06:52 AM

We swapped DD’s daycare at about 18 months or just under because she was outnumbered by 6month old in the baby room. They’d also had a turn over of carers and she wasn’t connecting to any of them. She was upset on drop off though, and when we picked her up was really just sitting by herself. She was there three to four days a week.

Best thing we ever did. Her language, gross and fine motor skills and social skills have come on leaps and bounds. She loves her carers and talks about them all the time.

So maybe have a look at what else might be near you, just to see if you get a good vibe? Ours has one big playground for all the kids, so even if the rooms are separated DD can mix with older kids if she wants to.

#14 Lallalla

Posted 28 September 2019 - 08:56 AM

Can others understand him? I know you think he says things clearly but have you heard anyone who doesn’t live with him understanding what he is saying?

The only reason I ask is our daycare always made comments about DD not saying much and being slow to start talking but she said heaps at home (and was at daycare 5 days a week for months before her sisters were born when she was 22 months). Anyway she turned out to have glue ear. It was picked up because of repeated ear infections but kids can get it even without constant ear infections.

After she got her grommets, aside from being terrified of everyday noises she hadn’t been able to hear, her speech started to get clearer within 24 hours. At daycare they kept going on about her finally coming out of her shell etc but actually it was just because they could finally understand her and she was hearing everything they said more clearly too.

#15 eigne

Posted 28 September 2019 - 09:04 AM

My daughter also hardly spoke at daycare for months and months. She’s generally really shy around other people but constantly chatters at home. She loves daycare and has good connections with the staff, but she seems to like to observe things for ages before trying them for herself.

We have been speaking with daycare staff about it for a few months and they have been telling me about the strategies they have used to encourage her. It is starting to pay off and she is saying more and more around other children and staff.

#16 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 28 September 2019 - 10:18 AM

It all sounds fine to me. It takes two to talk.  If he is in a baby room still, and the carers are busy, he probably just doesn't get the opportunity to talk.  Plus as PP have said, going 1 day a week means they can still be a bit shy.

If you can understand 30 words clearly, there are probably lots more he is saying that you just dont realise yet.  I believe even doing animal sounds is counted as a word, if you really counted I bet you would get to 50 easily, and putting 2 words together is great!

What i would be doing, if youre worried, is taking him to other places to expand his social outings (if you're not already) play dates, visit grandma, go to play group, anywhere were lots of conversation happens. That will help a lot.

#17 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 28 September 2019 - 10:21 AM

Also, he will always warm to other people when you are around as well, quicker than child care carers.  Because child care = mummy leaving.  Even if they love child care, mummy leaving will make them a bit sad, if only for a minute, its the minute you see though.  So i think thats normal too.

#18 Norma-Bean Baker

Posted 28 September 2019 - 03:11 PM

Thanks everyone.  I will get his ears checked for the glue ear.  I think his hearing is ok. I whispered from about a metre away earlier today when he was looking out the window "do you want some cheese?" his face lit up and he turned to me and said "cheese" and took off for the fridge.

#19 girltribe4

Posted 10 October 2019 - 06:56 PM

I have a few one day children and they maybe take slightly longer to settle but I wouldn't go so far as to say its detrimental . Don't be pushed in to doing more days if you don't need them.

#20 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 10 October 2019 - 07:43 PM

Glue ear doesn't totally block your hearing but obscures some frequencies and sounds. My nephew has glue ear and could hear some words, but not all in a sentence.

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