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Dinner/bath/bed routine - which camp are you in?

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#1 Silver Girl

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:32 PM

DH and I have different (not right or wrong) approaches to the dinner/bed/bath routine.

DH likes to focus fully on progressing the kids towards the earliest possible bedtime, and clean up/tidy afterwards. I hate putting the kids to bed and then facing a messy house, so I clean/tidy as I go, even if that means lights out happens a little later.

For example, when the kids have left the dinner table, I’ll clear and wipe the table down then; he’ll move straight on to bathtime and get to it when they’re in bed. DH will get the kids out of the bath and straight into pjs. I’ll leave them wrapped in their towels while quickly putting toys away, tidying up facewashers etc.

What’s your approach?

#2 seayork2002

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:36 PM

DS is older but i am pretty sure we did this when he was younger

Dinner as soon as we can - DH cooks
I do the dishes the second we are done/clean up as much as I am in the mood for

This leaves all 3 of us to be free to do what we want, so by 7/7.30 we are all done (earlier if we can)

Then bed whenever we feel like it

#3 lozoodle

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:38 PM

Your camp, but mine are a little older now so my bedtime and theirs can quite often be within 20 mins of each other (youngest is 6).

I hate mess, I always pick up as I go and I'd rather do that than worry about it after they're in bed.

I'm on my own for it most days though so its up to me how i do it :D

#4 Ayr

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:40 PM

I cook then take the youngest to begin the bedtime routine as soon as we are done. The othe kids clean the kitchen of what's there when they're don't and then the husband cleans up the rest.
Then the youngest is in bed by 715 and I'm not much after that...

#5 rosie28

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:51 PM

I tidy as I cook so there’s very little to deal with after. 5 and 3 year old put their own dishes in the dishwasher, husband and I do the rest, wipe the table and benches etc. I often pop a load of washing on at the same time. Then upstairs for a bath, usually within 10 minutes of dinner ending, and bedtime.

#6 marple

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:52 PM

I often clean the kitchen the following morning :ph34r:

#7 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:56 PM

One of us puts the kids in the shower, the other one does the dishes.
Toys get put away once a week, if I can be bothered.

A set bed time (about 7:15 in our house) is the focus. Don’t really care what gets done around it. But divide and conquer is our theme.

If DH is away for work, I do the dishes before we eat, then it’s just a couple of plates in the dishwasher and bed time routine starts.

#8 seayork2002

Posted 20 September 2019 - 12:58 PM

View Post~LemonMyrtle~, on 20 September 2019 - 12:56 PM, said:

One of us puts the kids in the shower, the other one does the dishes.
Toys get put away once a week, if I can be bothered.

A set bed time (about 7:15 in our house) is the focus. Don’t really care what gets done around it. But divide and conquer is our theme.

If DH is away for work, I do the dishes before we eat, then it’s just a couple of plates in the dishwasher and bed time routine starts.

Yeah one of does the breakfast/tea mugs the night before/school lunch things before then just the dinner things after

#9 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:04 PM

try to clean as i go....but definitely clean up right after eating...so then we wrangle our youngest into the bath and bed and then watch tv or do whatever until we go to bed ...

#10 TheGreenSheep

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:04 PM

When they were little DH would bath them after dinner and I would clean up in peace and quiet.

Not theyre older they shower whilst we clean the kitchen together and DH grumbles about the size of mess I made :tongue:

After dinner and chaos I like to sit down with a cuppa tea and watch tv or Netflix and not have to face the dirty dishes etc with the job all done. I turn the dishwasher on as I go to bed later.

#11 Lallalla

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:05 PM

A little of both. I always get the kids to take their own plates to kitchen (they are 3 and 5 but have been doing it for a while) but inevitably there are stray cups etc that get left behind. If both of us are home it gets wiped down/tifdied straight away, if not waits till after bedtime. Bath toys always get picked up as for some reason the cat will pee on them otherwise. Other toys around the house depend on how we are going for time. I am trying to be better at leaving time for the girls to tidy up themselves on way to bed as they are terrible about it. Story numbers also fluctuate, if everyone behaves themselves and we are on time they get more stories than if we aren’t running behind

#12 WaitForMe

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:05 PM

We do a bit of both.

DH is responsible for getting them ready for bed, as best he can on his own.

While he is doing this, I tidy up, mostly just the kitchen, and also get myself changed if I'm not already.

If he has them ready early, he continues to entertain them.

If I haven't finished tidying by story time, then I stop and it gets left until the morning. This is usually a result of dinner finishing later than it should.

Once its story time, he takes one kid, I take the other, and we then get them read to and asleep/lights off.

Once the kids are asleep, absolutely nothing gets done. This is my down time. Often, DH goes straight to bed himself (and has his downtime in the morning), and I'll stay up for an hour or so.

#13 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:06 PM

yeh in the division of chores i prefer to do dishes, clean kitchen over kid wrangling....it’s invariably 8 pm or thereabouts and i’m kinda of over the kid by then...

#14 Jenflea

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:08 PM

I do bath before dinner, so after dinner DH would do bedtime routine such as teeth and reading etc and I'd tidy the kitchen or veg on the couch.

He never cooks or cleans so he does bedtime.

#15 Luci

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:11 PM

I always did the evening routine by myself, not sure if DH has ever done it.  But anyway I would get the kids off to bed then a qiuck whip around for an hour, so wash up and tidy kitchen, load of washing, tidy house etc.  I found that doing it on my own without a baby and 2 toddlers was much more efficient.

#16 seayork2002

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:13 PM

Even though DS is now 12 he still gets DH to brush his teeth and read him a story - I try and contribute as much as I can by playing SIm City on my phone

#17 AllyK81

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:41 PM

A bit of both. I try and clean as I go but it isn't always possible. Maximises relaxation time!

#18 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 20 September 2019 - 01:48 PM

It all goes much more smoothly if I can focus on getting kids to bed rather than trying to tidy up as i go. They feel like I’m paying them more attention and are more satisfied and procrastinate less. Clean up afterwards doesn’t take long, I’ve usually a few things to do after they are in bed anyway, so it’s not a big deal.

#19 Mollycoddle

Posted 20 September 2019 - 02:00 PM

Single Mum here.  Dinner, bath then bed.  I clean up dinner while they're in the bath but they're older now so can be in there on their own (8 and 11).  I always prefer to tidy as I go so while they're eating their dinner at the kitchen table I'll be next to them at the sink doing the pots and pans, benches, etc.  But then I also clean while I'm actually doing the cooking, if there's anything that can be done then.  I have also been known to be folding washing at the kitchen table while the pans are on the stove, or packing the lunchboxes for the next day.  Once I sit down it's hard to get up so better to get it over and done with and I truly can't think of anything worse than having to get up in the morning to face a sink full of dirty dishes.  I eat my own dinner later on, not with kids as I prefer to do it uninterrupted while vegging in front of the idiot box.  

OP I think he just doesn't know how to multitask or couldn't be bothered trying.  Which is OK unless it's an issue for you to not have his company while he's cleaning up after bedtime.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 20 September 2019 - 03:20 PM.

#20 Kia❤️

Posted 20 September 2019 - 02:03 PM

I do your approach! Get everything done so once kids are in bed i can sit and relax

#21 mayahlb

Posted 20 September 2019 - 02:09 PM

My kids are older but I tend to tidy up as I'm making dinner and they have been responsible for putting dishes in the sink or dishwasher since they were little.

I make my kids shower before dinner because they are normally covered in dirt or sweat and sorry but eewww to eating like that. We've always done showers before dinner since they were little and if they were gotty from dinner I'd wipe them down.

Kid 2 wipes down the tables, collects any other dishes for the dishwasher.

I still read to mine before they sleep, but the main aim is a set bedtime...

Edited by mayahlb, 20 September 2019 - 02:10 PM.

#22 Prancer is coming

Posted 20 September 2019 - 02:22 PM

Depends on the age of the kids.  When they are little or if they are big in routine, I wanted them in bed by a certain time.  If you miss that window for sleep it can take ages until they go to sleep.

I would much prefer to do nothing when the kids are asleep.  But if the kids need to be in bed, that is the priority.  Drives me mad when the kid DH is putting to bed is tired and wanting to go to bed, and he ignores it and keeps cleaning, particularly when the kid needs to get up early the next day and he is never around to help in the morning.  

Everything is pretty much done by the time DH gets home, just the kitchen clean up to go and it is not that bad.  I leave that all for DH and I generally do the ‘thought’ load at that time - getting things ready for school, finding the missing library book, filling out notes, doing readers etc.

#23 Bearynice

Posted 20 September 2019 - 03:22 PM

Doing bedtime routine solo, I try to keep kids to a fairly regular bedtime. This might mean cutting few corners with cleaning.
I try to get noisy jobs done before bathtime.... then I’d only have to chuck a couple of toys away or place some books or cushions away etc

I don’t like to leave entire clean up for after bathtime.

I have older kids now but always got them to help pick up toys, squeeze water out of fashwashers, put laundry in hamper etc

#24 Kallie88

Posted 20 September 2019 - 03:25 PM

Our three are 3 and under, so we try to get them into bed as quickly/ easily as possible then deal with the house. If we were to leave any of them roaming free while we tidied we'd end up with more mess lol. It'd be good if we could move to the other way when they're older and can help tidy as well, but this is what makes sense right now

#25 ~J_F~

Posted 20 September 2019 - 03:41 PM

Team after. Kids have always pitched in with cleaning the table after dinner then we do the big stuff once bed is done.

But we have never done bath or showers at night, even when the kids were little.

It’s dinner, free time or family time, bed.

Edited by ~J_F~, 20 September 2019 - 03:43 PM.

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