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2y/o ASD

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#1 mollo

Posted 17 September 2019 - 08:28 PM

My beautiful sweet boy has many red flags for ASD.
He has no words - never has.
He doesnt point.
Poor eye contact.
He doesnt follow my point.
He takes a good 3 calls to respond to his name.
He is not interested in any other child (except his 5yo sister).
He does not imaginative play.

How.  Why?

At 12-15m he had perfect eye contact.  He played with toys with my daughter.  He laughed and smiled.

He has a beautifully chilled nature.  Naps for 3 hours a day.  Goes to bed at night without issues.  Runs up and down the hallway playing chasey with my daughter.

I am gutted.  Slipping into a very deep dark hole where i think whats the point to it all anymore?  What life will he have.  My daughter have.

2 weeks for ENT appt.  6 weeks foe Pead.   Days are sooooo long.

#2 cabbage88

Posted 17 September 2019 - 08:40 PM

Have you done ASdetect app? It might be helpful to do a set of questions for 1 year, 18 months and 2 so you can get your head around whether he actually changed our whether you just hadn't spotted the subtle signs.
I'm on a big journey with this at the moment. I was sure my son had it at 9 months and thanks to ASdetect he was diagnosed just shy of 2. We've made some huge improvements with some focussed effort to get him talking, retaining language, and pretend play. He started to pretend play about 4 weeks ago, at 2.5 years old and I cried.
I've been down the rabbit hole of investigating genetic links to autism and foods and things we need to avoid, especially since discovering my eldest also has autism and three of my kids are really shocking with certain foods. And I'm giving them inulin powder, probiotics and high dose omega three. I feel like all these changes have actually improved them all a lot. But then, so has consciously addressing his deficits while we await NDIS and therapy.
But I don't know. I'm so scared of having three kids with autism but that's probably my reality. And truthfully scared that there might actually be things our kids are exposed to that make it even worse. It's just hard to find good information. Most support groups for diet/supplement changes in ASD are just anti Vax groups :-(

#3 mollo

Posted 17 September 2019 - 08:46 PM

My MCHN raised it at 18m but i quickly dismissed it.  At 22m it is all i see now when i watch him.  

My image of kids with autism isnt positive.  I picture agression.  Holes in walls.  Violence.

My son is donor conceived.  I have no ASD in my family.  There are 2 x diblings with ASD but there is also confirmed ASD on the mothers side.  

I know there are worse things my child could have but i am sad the life i had pictured for my son may no longer be.

#4 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 17 September 2019 - 08:53 PM

It’s ok to grieve, we all did but ASD doesn’t necessarily mean violence, aggression or holes in the wall.

Which from what you are listing doesn’t sound like it will be your reality anyway, it’s not for a lot of parents with ASD kids. It’s certainly how the media would like you to believe it is but ASD is a spectrum and each child is different.

He is still your sweet beautiful boy no matter his diagnosis.

The parenting spectrum podcast is a listen -  https://www.abc.net....ctrum/episodes/

Edited by ~J_F~, 17 September 2019 - 08:58 PM.

#5 MsLaurie

Posted 17 September 2019 - 08:55 PM

Can you start calling around to find a speech therapist that is taking clients and works with toddlers? They can help you find other ways of communicating as well as speech, like picture boards or signing etc that will be a huge help to you all.

#6 gracie1978

Posted 17 September 2019 - 09:04 PM

Mollo does he snore at all?

#7 AsperHacker

Posted 17 September 2019 - 09:13 PM

Autism is not the end of the world. There's a whole lot of autistic kids and adults our there who can show you that.

You're gauging him on neurotypical norms. No verbal words can be challenging but it doesn't mean he can't or won't communicate. Eye contact is a ridiculous neurotypical thing that ultimately doesn't matter- whatever people who make eye contact convey with their eyes can be conveyed SO many other ways. All kids ignore people calling them sometimes. The perception of imaginative play is subjective - what you see may not be what he sees.

What life will he have? Who knows? What life can you give him, regardless of whether he's autistic? One not coloured by harmful stereotypes that aren't even remotely true - you're going to need to learn that autism isn't holes in walls. You should learn that even if your kid isn't autistic. His life should not be coloured by who you *think* he should be regardless of neurology. He's going to be who he is. It's up to you to nurture and protect that.

For what it's worth, autism managed well can be a wonderful thing. The co occurring stuff can be a sh*t fight, but the autism itself, once you work it out, is pretty ok. Listen to your son, listen to adult autistics and just love the kid.

#8 Gruffalo's Child

Posted 17 September 2019 - 09:46 PM

I have 3 autistic kids and while it can be challenging it’s also pretty fantastic a lot of the time, and I am confident my kids are going to grow up to have a very  fulfilling life on their own terms.  

OP, while you’re waiting, I would also suggest looking into speech therapy - my DS wasn’t talking at 2 and now, at 11, is a real chatterbox.  

I would also recommend  you check out ‘Diary of a Mom’ - she has a blog and is also on FB and following her really helped me change my perception of autism, especially reading the links she has to articles written by autistic adults.  

Your little boy sounds gorgeous!  


#9 cabbage88

Posted 17 September 2019 - 09:52 PM

View Postmollo, on 17 September 2019 - 08:46 PM, said:

My MCHN raised it at 18m but i quickly dismissed it.  At 22m it is all i see now when i watch him.  

My image of kids with autism isnt positive.  I picture agression.  Holes in walls.  Violence.

My son is donor conceived.  I have no ASD in my family.  There are 2 x diblings with ASD but there is also confirmed ASD on the mothers side.  

I know there are worse things my child could have but i am sad the life i had pictured for my son may no longer be.
Yup. Totally get you and that's just a process to walk and grieve through. But as you grieve and learn, you will learn more and much of that learning is comforting.
When my son was diagnosed, I was happy. Because I know my brother is ASD but he's beautiful and I love him that way, and my son is just like him. But when my daughter was diagnosed that's absolutely when I grieved (am still) because I just don't understand it in girls. I don't get her, I don't know how to help her. I can't get my head around who she is because I can't link her character traits to anyone I know or understand so I feel really lost and scared.
But diagnosis early puts your son in a really good capacity to be much more advanced than he would be if it was diagnosed later. Fight for that help- because OT and speech now can change things so much

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