Jump to content

Has anyone been a larger bride than they wanted?


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 Jelly Bee

Posted 16 September 2019 - 08:47 PM

Like many brides before and after me I had aspirations to be my fittest, sleekest, most attractive self on my wedding day and like many brides before and after me, I have not met those aspirations

I’m larger than I’ve ever been and I feel I’ll look a fool in my dress. I’m so anxious about walking down the aisle and everyone seeing me and thinking I look frumpy

If I don’t get these thoughts under control I will ruin the day for myself. Does anyone have any reassuring stories?

I’m wearing a ball gown and feel the overall effect will be a massive marshmallow on steroids that everyone will think is mutton dressed as lamb 😔

#2 Apple14

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:00 PM

You will be the only one critiquing the bride.
My advice is to concentrate on why you’re getting married and to whom your getting married. He obviously doesn’t care about your size and loves you for you.
Enjoy your day!

#3 Kallie88

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:01 PM

Full disclosure, I was never overly invested in having a wedding, but there was certainly a part of me that wanted to be much thinner than I was for the day. I would've been a size 20-22. In the end i figured the point of the day was the love my DH and I have for each other, not how we look, and if I waited until I was thin we'd probably never get there lol. I chose a dress that I liked, that suited my actual shape not my desired shape. Honestly it was such a happy day, even though sometimes I look at the photos and think damn I wish I looked better, mostly I notice how happy we looked. How happy dh looked as another who wasn't overly invested in marriage as a concept. I got tons of compliments that day, cynical me thinks it's just what people do coz it's a special day. Romantic me thinks they were probably seeing how happy I was.
Hope that helps somehow

#4 alfoil hat

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:04 PM

I have never seen a bride that doesn’t look amazing, big or small. If you are in love, you will too.

#5 cvbn

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:13 PM

My cousin was around a size 22 when she got married, oh my goodness she looked so beautiful!

A few years later she bypass? and lost lot of weight, she is teeny tiny now, size 6-8?

She still proudly has all her wedding photos up. She loved the day, she was happy!

Enjoy your wedding, have that dress that makes you feel beautiful

Congratulations!

#6 Jenflea

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:37 PM

I was a larger bride than I wanted and I'm even bigger now.

No one cares, I don't care.
All anyone cares about is how happy you look and how good the food is!

#7 eigne

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:49 PM

I also had grand plans to be my best possible self... I didn’t manage it! I had a beautiful day and I look so happy in the photos. I’m actually glad I didn’t lose a heap of weight just for my wedding - I know I would find it very disheartening now at this weight to look back at the photos if I was skinny. Instead I look at the photos and I look like me. How wonderful is that 🙂

#8 Hands Up

Posted 16 September 2019 - 09:59 PM

I was pregnant and wore a gown with an elastic waist! I’m glowing with happiness in the photos despite not being a big wedding person either (we had a very low key affair). Buy a dress that suits and is comfortable. :-)

#9 Oriental lily

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:12 PM

I was also pregnant, 28 wks .

I was not one of those glowing pregnant woman with a lovely bump out front . I was big EVERYWHERE and had gained about 20kg by then ( and was not super slim to begin with ) .

To be honest I am not overly happy with the photos looking back now .

It’s not just my figure , more I looked tired and stressed ( I was) .

But it was one day .

16 years and 5 kids later the marriage is a roaring success .

I have had much more amazing days before and after my wedding .

It really is just one day . Enjoy it but don’t get hung up about it representing something significant .

The overall life journey with your partner is the important thing .

#10 seayork2002

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:15 PM

I was a size 16 then I still am, I can't say I thought more than that about it I figured the marriage was more than one day really

#11 MooGuru

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:18 PM

You shared the photos of your dress a while back right?

You're going to look amazing. Your happiness and excitement will make you a beautiful bride regardless of your size. I've been in lots of bridal parties - size and shape doesn't really impact on how beautiful the bride looks at all.

#12 Jelly Bee

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:43 PM

View PostMooGuru, on 16 September 2019 - 10:18 PM, said:

You shared the photos of your dress a while back right?

You're going to look amazing. Your happiness and excitement will make you a beautiful bride regardless of your size. I've been in lots of bridal parties - size and shape doesn't really impact on how beautiful the bride looks at all.

I did! Thank you. That’s so reassuring

#13 lizzzard

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:48 PM

Darling, people are at your wedding because they love you and your DP. Do you think they will have a better time if you were three sizes smaller?? No! They want to celebrate in your joy, and that’s why you and your DH are having a wedding with your loved ones too - your size is really, completely irrelevant to the purpose and fun of the day.

Personally, I also don’t understand trying to change for the day. That ring on your finger wasn’t a contract to lose weight, it was a contract to commit to your DP forever because he loves you!! I know this is just my view, but maybe think about that perspective 😊

#14 Jelly Bee

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:48 PM

View Postseayork2002, on 16 September 2019 - 10:15 PM, said:

I was a size 16 then I still am, I can't say I thought more than that about it I figured the marriage was more than one day really

I wish I wasn’t thinking about it but I just am!

The marriage is the one aspect I’m not remotely worried about. We are a dream together, and we have been tested more than once over the years.

Wanting to look beautiful on your wedding day doesn’t mean that you think the wedding is more important than the marriage! Both can matter to you at once, to different degrees

#15 Jelly Bee

Posted 16 September 2019 - 10:50 PM

View Posteigne, on 16 September 2019 - 09:49 PM, said:

I’m actually glad I didn’t lose a heap of weight just for my wedding - I know I would find it very disheartening now at this weight to look back at the photos if I was skinny. Instead I look at the photos and I look like me. How wonderful is that 🙂

I love your take on it!

#16 SplashingRainbows

Posted 17 September 2019 - 06:01 AM

It’s hard to be anxious and grateful at the same time. Sometimes when I’m worrying, I personally need to flip it and practice being grateful (for health, for the relationship, for family to spend the day with etc) and it helps a lot.

It might be worth a try if the thoughts are overwhelming? Give it a week at least if you do though.

I am sure you will be a beautiful bride. My best memories of my wedding day are how incredible it was to have 80 people set aside the day to celebrate with my DH and I. It’s really unlike anything I’ve experienced before or after and for me that was a highlight. It’s hard not to be beautiful when you’re having a good time x

#17 Ivy Ivy

Posted 17 September 2019 - 06:15 AM

I couldn't lose weight for either of my 2 wedding days, given I need to put lots of effort in to successfully do so, and at the time had so much to do my brain couldn't spare the "must diet" bandwidth or extra effort.  Plus I gain when stressed.

We are so used to only seeing really slim people on TV and ads.  Like, abnormally petite, small boned and with little fat, women.  Whenever I catch a glimpse of normal-sized extras in the background or a crowd of one of my Netflix shows, I'm reminded of just how small the women, all the main actresses in any show on TV, really are.  But because they're all small we forget how tiny they are.

Then I catch a view of myself in a photo or screen, and the contrast is just enormous (bad word really), and I think part of it is, our minds are now conditioned to thinking people in a photo or screen are incredibly tiny and always look a certain way.  Any normal woman will not look like all those ads/actresses.

Jelly Bee you'll be around average sized normal people on the day, not a bunch of tiny actresses, and your guests will range in size.  In real life everyone is used to everyone else's size.  They'll see you at your best (hair, makeup) so you'll look better than you ever have before, to them!

#18 born.a.girl

Posted 17 September 2019 - 06:22 AM

View Posteigne, on 16 September 2019 - 09:49 PM, said:

I also had grand plans to be my best possible self... I didn’t manage it! I had a beautiful day and I look so happy in the photos. I’m actually glad I didn’t lose a heap of weight just for my wedding - I know I would find it very disheartening now at this weight to look back at the photos if I was skinny. Instead I look at the photos and I look like me. How wonderful is that


Trust me, as someone who spent their teenage years very skinny, no one actually wants to be skinny.

I hear it used so often now about people who are a normal weight, and every time, it just reminds of what an awful time it was.

#19 Crazyhouseholdof6

Posted 17 September 2019 - 06:50 AM

I was too. I purchased my gown in a size 20 and very nearly had to get a bigger one, spanx to the rescue though - just squeezed me in. All the stress eating certainly took a tole on my shape. We also got married on hamilton island where I was extra self conscious due to all the skinny, bikini clad people.
In the end it was a day I would never change and proudly display pictures on walls now im half that size. Honestly, once the dress is on and you’re done up you gain confidence and will have a wonderful day. All the best.

Edited by Crazyhouseholdof6, 17 September 2019 - 06:51 AM.


#20 MsLaurie

Posted 17 September 2019 - 10:07 AM

I’ve seen a few people dramatically lose weight for their weddings, and honestly, it just seems strange. They don’t look like themselves, six months later the photos seem like someone else, rather than the happy glowy version of themselves they were hoping for.
Be who you really are, the person your fiancé wants to spend their life with, not some strange hungry shadow of that person.
... And do some arm weights. Bit of toning on the arms did wonders for my chubby self 😂

#21 Jenflea

Posted 17 September 2019 - 10:50 AM

I know someone who got a boob job for her wedding.

Went up 2 cup sizes or more!


Also, having watched many an episode of 'Say Yes to the Dress" if you DO lose a lot of weight sometimes your dress can't be altered enough and it'll hang badly.

THINK OF THE DRESS!!

#22 cinnamonnutmeg

Posted 17 September 2019 - 06:29 PM

I sometimes look back at my wedding photos and wish thay maybe I'd had less chins, or whatever. But mainly only on my bad days. I usually look at them and think about how amazing my wedding was. And how much I love my husband. I see the photo of me laughing with 20 chins during a speech and I remember the speeches our dads gave, and the epic speech my husband gave. I remember spending 2 hours with him taking photos and it being the best time of my life.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.