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SN venting thread

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#51 Winging it Mum

Posted 14 August 2019 - 11:25 AM

DS13 has had to deal with changing school this year & his OSHC. The new school so far have been so good, his OSHC has been a nightmare. I had a feeling it would be & I had tried to tell them he needed support but they found that out pretty quickly. He completely lost it there & things did not go well.

Next year new HS but on the plus side can go back to his old OSHC.

I keep hearing the words special class would be great for him, yes we tried but were told he ranked too low and I get that. This is always  what we feared, falling in the cracks.

I worry so much about his future, I am sick of therapies - I know they help, but it's been all his life and at some point, surely he starts to learn some self control.

I am tired. We have holidays in a few weeks, I just hope we all get a chance to enjoy new surroundings and that it all just doesn't get too much for him.

#52 Ozquoll

Posted 14 August 2019 - 04:30 PM

Having to deal with all DS’s problems when I can barely deal with my own. And the painful knowledge that, genetically speaking, he got most of those problems from me 😔

#53 Caribou

Posted 14 August 2019 - 04:35 PM

My DD lied again. It’s like a compulsion or something. It’s frustrating despite we’ve talked about lying and it’s affects.

Another one for the psychologist to unpack tomorrow.

#54 kadoodle

Posted 15 August 2019 - 02:54 PM

Waiting for physio for DD1. Then to pain clinic. Tomorrow it’s OT and speech for DS3. Sick of it.

#55 bubskitkat

Posted 15 August 2019 - 03:01 PM

My DS bit a small baby in the waiting room for therapy. Yes I should have been watching but had run to the loo.

The father of the baby was lovely and understanding BUT I wish my son would not do things like this. No it’s not the first time and normally I will stop him.

#56 bubskitkat

Posted 15 August 2019 - 03:02 PM

Now I find out that his OT is leaving the clinic and it has to start all over again

#57 panda eyes

Posted 15 August 2019 - 03:18 PM

I do everything medical and therapy related except one day per fortnight when DH takes a day off and has to do one physio appointment for the baby.  On my home day the following week I have to manage the physio appointment + an OT appointment for another child (taking 3 kids!!!) as well as speech therapy, shopping, cooking and so on. On Saturdays the baby has his OT which I do. I do all the NDIS crap, the medical appointments and well over 50% of the thought load. DH pulls his weight about housework but shopping and cooking are still on me.

It's too hard. I work full time too and have my own problems. I've just found out that we've qualified for In Home Care but DH doesn't want to do it because it'll cost more than daycare and he doesn't see the point :/ Yes, money is tight but I need a circuit breaker. Plus, you know, it's for the benefit of our youngest. I wish he would get it, rather than asking how my mental health is constantly but not engaging in the things that might actually help it.

#58 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 15 August 2019 - 04:34 PM

Tell him your mental health is going to the dogs and you are going to have to quit your job.

Let him bring up the solution of In Home Care.

My vent. I think I've started menopause. I DO NOT need this right now.

#59 Thylacine

Posted 15 August 2019 - 08:02 PM

Thought of one no one has mentioned yet...

Therapy items are sooooo expensive. An egg timer costs a couple of bucks, but a Time Timer, with a brightly coloured face to show time remaining, costs $65. I'm sure the mechanisms and materials they've made it with aren't much more expensive, but because they know parents will do whatever we can to help our kids, they can charge what they like.

Crayons are very cheap, but crayon rocks, which help encourage correct pencil grip, cost almost $20 for a pack of 8...

#60 123Tree

Posted 15 August 2019 - 08:32 PM

I would have to say this thread has completely resonated with me and I sympathise with everyone but also feel less crazy.

#61 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 15 August 2019 - 09:26 PM

I am sick of professionals saying do this and that and don’t do this and that...

You don’t live here, some days I don’t have the fight on me. I just can’t be ****ing bothered trying another thing.

I just want it to be normal.

#62 feelee

Posted 15 August 2019 - 09:49 PM

After numerous calls and emails, I finally got a call back from the local ECEI agency today.  They proceeded to tell me, that even though I had an intake phone call with them eight weeks ago, that, for some unexplained reason, my son's access request has not been made to the NDIA yet.

The woman then proceeded to give me the NDIS number and suggest that, as my son has a level 2 ASD diagnosis, I could ring them direct and make an access request myself.

FGS...why has it taken them eight weeks to tell me that they have done nothing, and that I could just do their job for them???

#63 Grrrumbles

Posted 18 August 2019 - 07:06 PM

I have nothing left to give, no progress with second psychologist, now struggling at school, home is a constant war zone.

I can’t get basic housework done without interruption, am ineffective at work and either crying or yelling all the time.

The constant tension has wrecked my mental health, my physical health is poor and we are haemorrhaging money.

#64 kadoodle

Posted 18 August 2019 - 08:17 PM

I’m hearing you, Grrumbles; I’m ready to off myself some days.

#65 Navy Blue

Posted 18 August 2019 - 08:57 PM

I'm sorry Grrrumbles.

I've been pretty low lately, thankfully there's been a slight reprieve (ever so slight!) that will keep me going again.

Sometimes you think things can't get any sh*ttier... then they do.

#66 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 18 August 2019 - 09:40 PM

I’m sorry grumbles... it’s not fair.

I have been feeling the loneliness of it all lately. I just feel alone. I have people irl but they don’t really get it, they say things that make me bite my tongue because they say things without thinking and maybe they shouldn’t have to think but sometimes it’s just hurts and makes the loneliness worse.

#67 Grrrumbles

Posted 18 August 2019 - 10:21 PM

Thanks for the support. What do you say when your much loved child says he wants a new family, repeatedly not just once in anger.

#68 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 18 August 2019 - 10:46 PM

I don’t know.
My eldest says that, and that’s he’s leaving home forever, pretty regularly. Also I am stupid and he hates me. Because I want him to put the iPad down. Or won’t give him another biscuit.

#69 Bethlehem Babe

Posted 19 August 2019 - 10:36 AM

A friend invited me out to a cool event. But dh is in Sydney that day for work and won’t be home. “Just get a babysitter”
Ummm. Yeah. No.  That’s not going to work with our kids.

#70 Ozquoll

Posted 20 August 2019 - 06:34 PM

I'm so damn sick of the food issues. The young master is having an epic, extended meltdown because we are trying to feed him chicken. The same stuff he's perfectly happy to eat in the form of a Maccas nugget.

The reason I cooked chicken for him? When I said his dinner would include sausages, he said "Not sausages again! We've had them like 29 days in a row!" Yes, dear child, that's because sausages are one of the few foods you will actually eat, so it ends up on your dinner plate quite often (not 29 days in a row, for the record). If you didn't chuck these extreme tanties whenever I try to give you a new food, then I wouldn't cook boring old sausages so often.

#71 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 20 August 2019 - 06:38 PM

I made DH go home to deal with kids tonight.  I'm hiding at work aka 'overtime'.

#72 Ozquoll

Posted 20 August 2019 - 06:43 PM

While I'm venting about food, a pox upon those people who try to tell me:

-he just needs to see me making food (he does)
-he just needs to help me make food (he does)
-let him choose his meals (he always chooses from the same three meals he already eats)
-just try a little bite of new foods (predictable meltdown ensues, and he not only doesn't try the new food, he doesn't eat the rest of his dinner)
-he's not getting enough nutrition (do you propose I force feed him?)


#73 msblueshoes

Posted 20 August 2019 - 10:52 PM

This thread has totally resonated with me too.

We’re having issues with DS9’s school ATM to the point where I called a Disability Advocacy service today which I found very helpful. They sent a whole heap of literature through and the paragraph below made me mad and sad...

While we recommend being informed on the rights your child has to education, families have shared with us instances where discussing rights in meetings with schools has created hostility. For this reason we recommend that families think very carefully about whether a ‘rights’ based argument is the best approach.

#74 kadoodle

Posted 23 August 2019 - 08:31 PM

View PostOzquoll, on 20 August 2019 - 06:43 PM, said:

While I'm venting about food, a pox upon those people who try to tell me:

-he just needs to see me making food (he does)
-he just needs to help me make food (he does)
-let him choose his meals (he always chooses from the same three meals he already eats)
-just try a little bite of new foods (predictable meltdown ensues, and he not only doesn't try the new food, he doesn't eat the rest of his dinner)
-he's not getting enough nutrition (do you propose I force feed him?)


It took DD1 intil puberty to come good with the neophobia. She eventually told me that lots of brassica veggies upset her stomach (IBS), but didn’t have the capacity to explain it when she was younger.

DS3 has a naked tantrum at the pool because his regular teacher was away and he had a substitute. Little sh*t.

#75 daybreaker

Posted 23 August 2019 - 09:05 PM

Maybe it's just me but no, I don't want to, nor have time to attend weekly parent sessions so that DS can attend the weekly social group - SAS, peers or lego!  

I have 2 other kids, a workaholic husband and many other activities/parties/sports to attend!

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