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Having three kids is....


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#26 Staying Strange

Posted 04 August 2019 - 12:26 PM

Op I went from 1 to 3 too. And was fairly ambivalent about trying for #2 so can empathize with how you're feeling.


My twins are 3. It definitely"gets better" than what it's like at the beginning. But I'm not going to answer your question. I did want to reach out. I'm veryy happy to chat with you just PM me if you'd like to get in touch.... Before or after your twins arrive.

Good luck

#27 JoanJett

Posted 04 August 2019 - 12:27 PM

View Postgracie1978, on 04 August 2019 - 11:23 AM, said:

I'm thinking with twins it will be harder for the first few years and then maybe a little easier as at least the girls will be in the same class at school, same swimming lesson etc.
I might be deluded but trying to find the positives.

My son starts school next year, so at least I'll just have two to deal with until 3pm.  I'll just have to figure out a way to leave the house each day for school pick up.  It's only a
5min drive or 30 min walk away...how hard could it be?

My back up plan if it's just too much and I can't cope, is to go and get a full time job and then hand all my salary over to a nanny.  Otherwise into daycare at one.

I'm just awful without sleep and I'm old.  The newborn stage is what I'm dreading the most.

Congratulations.  

Having one at school will make a big difference.  I would second looking at after school care, or another option could be a Uni student/babysitter for pick up and an hour or two of help at home with either the kids or housekeeping duties.

One thing that might be worth considering is starting getting your son "school morning routine ready" now.  It would make a big difference next year if he has the routine down pat and is reasonably independent with dressing himself, managing breakfast without too much help and able to do teeth and pack a bag on his own.   When you know you'll be facing sleepless nights and coping with fatigue, the less you have to do in the morning will make a big difference, so lunches the night before can also help.

#28 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 04 August 2019 - 12:53 PM

I have 2 primary school aged kids and a baby so not quite the same experience but I agree with the struggling to pay enough attention to each one.  I am definitely finding the baby stuff easier since Ive done it twice I know what to do.

I know a lot of people who have 3 older kids (primary aged) and they seem to be pretty happy, I think maybe its less stressful by then?

#29 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 04 August 2019 - 12:56 PM

View PostLucyGoose, on 04 August 2019 - 09:16 AM, said:

The best decision we ever made was to have 3. Yes it’s more challenging to organise and busy at times.  
I am not an easy going type and get stressed out at times,  but I don’t regret having 3 by a long shot.  
We have travelled with them too!  People always say you can’t travel with 3.

We 4wd / camp a lot and Ive seen lots of camping families with 3 kids. Blame them for me getting the idea :ninja:

#30 Summer81

Posted 04 August 2019 - 01:01 PM

View PostLucyGoose, on 04 August 2019 - 09:16 AM, said:

The best decision we ever made was to have 3.    Yes it’s more challenging to organise and busy at times.  
I am not an easy going type and get stressed out at times,  but I don’t regret having 3 by a long shot.  
We have travelled with them too!  People always say you can’t travel with 3.

This.

Edited by Summer81, 04 August 2019 - 01:04 PM.


#31 Summer81

Posted 04 August 2019 - 01:03 PM

View PostLucyGoose, on 04 August 2019 - 09:16 AM, said:

The best decision we ever made was to have 3.    Yes it’s more challenging to organise and busy at times.  
I am not an easy going type and get stressed out at times,  but I don’t regret having 3 by a long shot.  
We have travelled with them too!  People always say you can’t travel with 3.

Having 3 was the best decision we ever made and I'm so glad we have them. And I can say that with my third who's 8 months old and is the world's worst sleeper.

So yep, blessed here. All the best OP x

Edited by Summer81, 04 August 2019 - 01:04 PM.


#32 gracie1978

Posted 04 August 2019 - 01:37 PM

We are going to do BSC so DP will get him sorted in the morning and drop him off.

Might look into getting someone to pick him up, but our finances will be pretty stretched.  I'm also pretty excited that I'll be around to collect him during this FYOS.

$75 for BSC and $125 for ASC and there is no rebate available.  $200 a week is getting back to what we pay in daycare fees.  However if the wheels start falling off we will just have to pay the money.

I really like Airbnb, will definitely be easier and cheaper than hotel rooms.  Not sure I'm ready for camping :)

#33 newmumandexcited

Posted 04 August 2019 - 01:41 PM

I also agree with the Airbnb. It’s the best for slightly larger families as you need to book two rooms in a hotel and the third is pricy.

We’ve booked a few times on Airbnb and will go to Melbourne for nine days in October - allowing us to stay in somewhere with a kitchen etc for not too much.

#34 ekbaby

Posted 04 August 2019 - 01:53 PM

3 was awesome for us but I wanted 4 so probably not a good comparison lol
I like chaotic, messy, noisy, not sweating the small stuff, kids having to amuse themselves sometimes etc
I think it’s age as much as number of kids that makes things easier
Our youngest is 4 now and things are heaps easier. We went on a 3 month camping/caravan trip. I’m even contemplating taking them overseas, money permitting, in the next few years. 2 years ago even the thought of a 1 hour domestic flight with the 3 of them had me shaking.

#35 theboys2

Posted 05 August 2019 - 01:40 PM

View Postgracie1978, on 04 August 2019 - 01:37 PM, said:

We are going to do BSC so DP will get him sorted in the morning and drop him off.

Might look into getting someone to pick him up, but our finances will be pretty stretched.  I'm also pretty excited that I'll be around to collect him during this FYOS.

$75 for BSC and $125 for ASC and there is no rebate available.  $200 a week is getting back to what we pay in daycare fees.  However if the wheels start falling off we will just have to pay the money.

I really like Airbnb, will definitely be easier and cheaper than hotel rooms.  Not sure I'm ready for camping :)

are you not elligible for rebates ? cuz you def do get rebates for before school care if you were at Daycare? I get half back from Centrelink.

#36 Pooks Combusted

Posted 05 August 2019 - 02:28 PM

Why wouldn’t you get childcare subsidy?

#37 Beancat

Posted 05 August 2019 - 02:33 PM

you should get rebates?  We are high income and get nearly 50% reduction via the rebates for before and after school care

and to answer your original questions

three kids is super busy and crazy and can be really stressful but I would not change it for the world.  No 3 was not planned but we adore her and cannot imagine life without her

#38 cstar

Posted 05 August 2019 - 02:44 PM

View Postgracie1978, on 04 August 2019 - 11:23 AM, said:

I'm thinking with twins it will be harder for the first few years and then maybe a little easier as at least the girls will be in the same class at school, same swimming lesson etc.
I might be deluded but trying to find the positives.

My son starts school next year, so at least I'll just have two to deal with until 3pm.  I'll just have to figure out a way to leave the house each day for school pick up.  It's only a
5min drive or 30 min walk away...how hard could it be?

My back up plan if it's just too much and I can't cope, is to go and get a full time job and then hand all my salary over to a nanny.  Otherwise into daycare at one.

I'm just awful without sleep and I'm old.  The newborn stage is what I'm dreading the most.

My DS was 5 when I had twins, it was hard, but it was awesome at the same time.  I was never one to say Oh I want 2 kids with 3 years apart, I knew I wanted kids but never thought about how many.  

Look, the first 6 months was a blur, DH and I always joke about how we really don't remember much about that time, even though it's true.

I had help however, and I basically used that help for my DS, my inlaws would help with school drop off and pick ups, take him home after school if I was struggling with the twins.

They are now 18 and 13 and they are all close, don't get me wrong they have the usual sibling rivalry but they get along, we went away recently and they had their own hotel room, they had an absolute ball of a time.  

It will be hard for sure, and you will have many how am I going to do this moments, and as hard as it is, you need to remember it will pass, they will grow up and they won't need you as much.

Good Luck.


Oh also, now that DS is 18 he helps me drive them around to activities - AWESOME!!!

Edited by cstar, 05 August 2019 - 02:46 PM.


#39 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 05 August 2019 - 05:29 PM

View PostPooks Combusted, on 05 August 2019 - 02:28 PM, said:

Why wouldn’t you get childcare subsidy?

OP - In case you were wondering about getting subsidy on maternity leave it is still available. (well so Im told, I have taken my kids out from OSCH until I go back)

#40 gracie1978

Posted 05 August 2019 - 07:31 PM

The provider isn't accredited, so you can't claim a rebate.  She is a lovely lady who lives around the corner from the school.  The kids go to her house in the morning and she walks them over.

Downside of a small school!

#41 Grrrumbles

Posted 05 August 2019 - 08:27 PM

Have you joined your local multiple birth association? I am friends with 2 twin mums (both second births for them) and they got a lot out of playgroups and other contact with families with multiples.

#42 gracie1978

Posted 05 August 2019 - 09:58 PM

View PostGrrrumbles, on 05 August 2019 - 08:27 PM, said:

Have you joined your local multiple birth association? I am friends with 2 twin mums (both second births for them) and they got a lot out of playgroups and other contact with families with multiples.

I've found them but I keep getting stuck on the online form, it's horrendous and I keep getting distracted before I finish it.
Will try again in my lunch break tomorrow.
My volunteer work for them could be to fix the damn thing.

#43 Prancer is coming

Posted 05 August 2019 - 10:23 PM

I don’t know if I would quite use #blessed, but 3 is fine.  Yes, it is busy, crazy and sometimes I would like more time with each child, but all in all 3 are great.  Three is enough - I am definitely at capacity. I do have one, and probably another one with ADHD so I do think our house might be crazier than normal!

I don’t have twins though, so can’t compare.  Personally, I like having other kids around when I had my newborns.  With my first I was all consumed by my baby, plus they are not really good conversationalists.  I liked having a little person to chat through and it also meant I could not get obsessed with what the baby was doing or should be doing.

#44 spartan_mum

Posted 06 August 2019 - 09:53 AM

We went from 1 to 3 as well so I understand where you are coming from, i also never wanted three children. Two was going to be my max

I am not going to lie, twins are hard in ways you probably can't imagine now. At times my DH and i were barely surviving as we had fraternal twins who were on different schedules and had different temperaments.

Having said that, they are three now and i feel like we have come out the other side and they are wonderful and i love having three kids. They fight and whinge but they also play together and love each other as well. It's very beautiful to watch.

Sometimes it feels like they are out to destroy me but i am lucky that they are also the most loving children and i get double the kisses, cuddles and 'i love you mummy' to make up for those moments.

#45 spartan_mum

Posted 06 August 2019 - 09:56 AM

View Postgracie1978, on 05 August 2019 - 09:58 PM, said:

I've found them but I keep getting stuck on the online form, it's horrendous and I keep getting distracted before I finish it.
Will try again in my lunch break tomorrow.
My volunteer work for them could be to fix the damn thing.

there is most likely multiples facebook group for your area as well.   The one i am in often organise play dates and other day out such as at christmas etc

Edited by spartan_mum, 06 August 2019 - 09:57 AM.


#46 lotsofbots

Posted 06 August 2019 - 10:45 AM

3 was fine, didn’t need a new car, House was big enough etc.  

After twins 4&5 I realised 3 was a breeze.


#47 Elizabethandfriend

Posted 06 August 2019 - 11:05 AM

I think there are wonderful advantages of having three when they are adults.  Big family, lots of support etc.   It might be hard going at first but will pay off in the long run.

#48 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 06 August 2019 - 08:46 PM

To answer the question - 3 kids is lots of washing :p

#49 gracie1978

Posted 06 August 2019 - 08:55 PM

View PostWannabeMasterchef, on 06 August 2019 - 08:46 PM, said:

To answer the question - 3 kids is lots of washing :p
I'm ready, 9.5kg washing machine and we now even get winter sun thanks to our neighbours taking out four massive rubber trees :)


#50 tiggy2

Posted 06 August 2019 - 10:41 PM

I loved three and now love 4! Didn’t have twins but I enjoy having a big family. It’s messy and noisy and non stop but more love than you can imagine and the sibling relationships are really special.

My tips:
Get a really good double pram and get out of the house as much as you can
Routines are not terribly realistic when you have older kid school hours and activities to work around - my younger ones had catnaps on the way to and from school and activities and they survived. They’ve all ended up being ok sleepers.
A messy house is ok and anyone who judges you for it is not needed in your house. If you make it to the end of the day with everyone (including you) basically intact it’s a good day.
It’s ok to put them in childcare to get some rest/sanity time even if you are not “working”.
Use your support group - play dates for the older one will be good for both them and you.

One of the best things about 3 and 4 for me were the older ones getting to be big brother/sister - they’ve really benefitted from this, enough to compensate for the reduced attention as far as I’m concerned.  They are also excellent at entertaining each other - I’m much less called on for never ending tea parties and playdoh with the younger kids as I’m not as fun as their siblings. I am on non stop food provision and washing duty though!




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