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Having three kids is....


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#1 gracie1978

Posted 04 August 2019 - 07:52 AM

Please tell me it's awesome and you're #blessed.

I was a happy one and done parent and now I have two unplanned babies on the way.

I never ever thought I would have three, but we were only 80% sure we were finished.... I'm getting my tubes tied after their birth!

Everything I've read just seems to say it's more stressful, particularly for the mothers.

Anyone blissfully happy?  Was 3 your perfect number?

#2 literally nobody

Posted 04 August 2019 - 08:04 AM

nope not my happy number. financially more stressful, cannot divide attention to 3 kids equally without one being put out., sleeping- well what’s that.. they bicker, you have much less time to yourself. Different ages yes but very very close in age together, as they get older the sleep gets better but life gets busier.. everything x 3.

sorry i don’t mean to sound awful but that’s my experience.

#3 Krio

Posted 04 August 2019 - 08:04 AM

Congratulations!

For us 3 kid is crazy busy, someone always has to be somewhere, and it's noisy too BUT I love it. 3 works for us and I think I thrive on the noise and busy schedule. We have to be organised, take up a lot of room in a shopping centre and had to upgrade the car but we make it work.

Some mornings I do let our a massive sigh of relief when the older 2 are dropped at school 😄 I spend a lot of my day in the car and was eating really badly. Recently I've made a point of packing my lunch and eating healthier - my youngest is now 3.5 so my self care went out the window for a while. I've only recently realised how important a healthy me is for myself and my family so I do wish that I'd realised that a bit earlier and made some time for me to be me and not just a mum.

Wishing you all the best during your pregnancy and upcoming arrivals.

Edited by Krio, 04 August 2019 - 08:09 AM.


#4 Romeo Void

Posted 04 August 2019 - 08:33 AM

It seems to me the parents that make 3 (or more) work make it work are the fly by the seat of your pants/make it up as you go type, the kind who can laugh off the kids getting into the flour..that kind of thing  It really depends on your personality.

Edited by Romeo Void, 04 August 2019 - 09:13 AM.


#5 WaitForMe

Posted 04 August 2019 - 08:54 AM

I think one plus twins is a different experience altogether. Some things easier some things harder.

#6 Manicmum

Posted 04 August 2019 - 09:00 AM

After the first 4 years it was great. Hubby didn’t think so still a family of 4, but mostly a happy one.

#7 blimkybill

Posted 04 August 2019 - 09:00 AM

For me three, by choice, was wonderful, but the first 18 months were way more exhausting than I had imagined (as two had felt cruisy). But I didn't have twins, which adds a whole extra layer of challenge.
If you can arrange some regular in home support in the first year (family, friends, paid services) I think it could help a lot. Easier said than done I know, but look into all your optiins.
Once they get bigger, like over 3, it will get much easier.

#8 LucyGoose

Posted 04 August 2019 - 09:16 AM

The best decision we ever made was to have 3.    Yes it’s more challenging to organise and busy at times.  
I am not an easy going type and get stressed out at times,  but I don’t regret having 3 by a long shot.  
We have travelled with them too!  People always say you can’t travel with 3.


#9 Kallie88

Posted 04 August 2019 - 09:31 AM

We had 3 under 3yo, eldest will be 4yo soon. I won't lie, it's hard work, especially since they're all young when they all want attention i only have 2 hands, someone generally misses out. Some days feel like I'm running around like a headless chook putting out spotfires.

Having said that, I love my three, now bubs is getting older (nearly 1yo) and sleep is more predictable it is getting easier. I love the sibling bonds they're developing and watching them learn and grow together.

#10 newmumandexcited

Posted 04 August 2019 - 09:38 AM

YOU could be me three years ago. One and pregnant with twins. All I can say is that this too will pass.

Three as in one with twins is really not the same as three in general as managing twins is unique in its own ways.

Edited by newmumandexcited, 04 August 2019 - 09:42 AM.


#11 ERipley

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:11 AM

.

Edited by ERipley, 19 August 2019 - 10:15 PM.


#12 Crazyhouseholdof6

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:22 AM

I can’t sugar coat it, initially three was hell. I had three in three years and had a shocking first born sleeper but the subsequent two were pretty good. I was on auto pilot for quite some time but I will say you tend not to fret the small stuff and go with the flow.
It does get better but initially it’s tough going. The pluses though, the kids adore each other mostly anyway, there is always someone to give you a cuddle and kiss when you feel a bit down and it’s not all bad, we went back and had Bub #4!
It will be fine, chaotic until you find your groove but so much more laughter and fun and love in the long run.

#13 amdirel

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:25 AM

All I can do is wish you luck OP. Lol.

#14 panda eyes

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:28 AM

I have three and it would be fine except that I work full time and the youngest has a disability requiring extra time and attention. I love him to bits and am blessed to have him, but life would be so much easier if I could work less or he had fewer needs.

DH isn't enjoying 3 very much though, I think mostly because he and our middle child butt heads a lot. Once she starts behaving better I think he'll find it easier.

#15 bakesgirls

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:40 AM

I hadn't realised so many people thought having 3 was unpleasant to begin with. OP, I have 4, the first 3 were by choice and the 4th was a happy surprise.

Three for me was lovely. They all get along reasonably well and I've been lucky that they were all what would be called 'easy'. Then when number 4 came along, their sibling dynamic changed a bit, but overall they still all get along and because of that I personally don't find it that hard with all the kids. It's expensive, but definitely doable for us. We had to buy a larger car, and we're currently looking for a larger house and they eat a lot, but it is what it is.

I never had twins, so I can't speak from having that experience and I'm sure twins have challenges I can't identify with but they grow up, as a PP said, it will pass. Congratulations on your impending arrivals.

#16 newmumandexcited

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:41 AM

View Postamdirel, on 04 August 2019 - 10:25 AM, said:

All I can do is wish you luck OP. Lol.

You’ll manage and be stronger and better for it. Honestly I don’t s- from anyone.

#17 ~J_F~

Posted 04 August 2019 - 10:47 AM

View Postnewmumandexcited, on 04 August 2019 - 10:41 AM, said:



You’ll manage and be stronger and better for it.

This is not necessarily true.

We don’t always manage or come out stronger.

My third and taken us to breaking point, I am not stronger because of that. I am exhausted, constantly worried and stressed trying to fit everything in to make sure she can find her place in a world that isn’t for her.

OP you might love it or you might not. You might regret it, you might not. Whatever you feel is perfectly fine, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. You will do what you have because really who the hell else.

#18 gracie1978

Posted 04 August 2019 - 11:23 AM

I'm thinking with twins it will be harder for the first few years and then maybe a little easier as at least the girls will be in the same class at school, same swimming lesson etc.
I might be deluded but trying to find the positives.

My son starts school next year, so at least I'll just have two to deal with until 3pm.  I'll just have to figure out a way to leave the house each day for school pick up.  It's only a
5min drive or 30 min walk away...how hard could it be?

My back up plan if it's just too much and I can't cope, is to go and get a full time job and then hand all my salary over to a nanny.  Otherwise into daycare at one.

I'm just awful without sleep and I'm old.  The newborn stage is what I'm dreading the most.






#19 ERipley

Posted 04 August 2019 - 11:29 AM

.

Edited by ERipley, 19 August 2019 - 10:16 PM.


#20 newmumandexcited

Posted 04 August 2019 - 11:30 AM

View Post~J_WTF~, on 04 August 2019 - 10:47 AM, said:



This is not necessarily true.

We don’t always manage or come out stronger.

My third and taken us to breaking point, I am not stronger because of that. I am exhausted, constantly worried and stressed trying to fit everything in to make sure she can find her place in a world that isn’t for her.

OP you might love it or you might not. You might regret it, you might not. Whatever you feel is perfectly fine, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. You will do what you have because really who the hell else.

This is true. I speak in my own experience when I say the experience of three includ twins pushed me to breaking point but I do think I’m stronger.

I also responded in this manner because I didn’t find the comment was responding to very helpful. I remember getting those ‘lolz, good luck!’ smug comments before having twins and just being so upset.

Edited by newmumandexcited, 04 August 2019 - 11:39 AM.


#21 gracie1978

Posted 04 August 2019 - 11:32 AM

I'm hoping all my friends will help, my family are overseas and my mother is looking to go on a cruise 4 days after the due date...

I'm thinking I might try and get helpful friends here for a week at a time in the early stages.  Grandparents over to help in school holidays.

#22 AliasMater

Posted 04 August 2019 - 11:34 AM

We have travelled a fair amount home and abroad. AirBnB is the best thing to happen to families larger than 2a 2c.

Edited by AliasMater, 04 August 2019 - 08:00 PM.


#23 Pooks Combusted

Posted 04 August 2019 - 11:38 AM

Are you able to access after school care? Having a potentially flexible pick up time could make a huge difference to your stress levels. You can often drive right up and get in and out quite quickly. They get afternoon tea. And on holidays you can give the big one a break at holiday care.

We have a mother of triplets at my childcare centre who brings them once a week just to catch up on sleep. That is an incredibly wise decision. I have done similar with my high needs children.

Take a big inventory of what potential supports are around you and get them into action. Don’t wait until the sh*t hits the fan. If there’s one piece of advice it’s that- ask for help. Maternal health nurses often have a home visiting service to help family routines and settling, there are sleep schools, there’s feeding support, all sorts of things. Get yourself familiar with those options now.

Set your mental health as a top priority.

All the best.

#24 Kallie88

Posted 04 August 2019 - 12:10 PM

View PostCrazyhouseholdof6, on 04 August 2019 - 10:22 AM, said:

I can’t sugar coat it, initially three was hell. I had three in three years and had a shocking first born sleeper but the subsequent two were pretty good. I was on auto pilot for quite some time but I will say you tend not to fret the small stuff and go with the flow.
It does get better but initially it’s tough going. The pluses though, the kids adore each other mostly anyway, there is always someone to give you a cuddle and kiss when you feel a bit down and it’s not all bad, we went back and had Bub #4!
It will be fine, chaotic until you find your groove but so much more laughter and fun and love in the long run.

Not wanting to derail but are you future me?? Right down to the first terrible sleeper. Lol, we're thinking about #4 atm so will have 4 under 5 if it happens

#25 ERipley

Posted 04 August 2019 - 12:26 PM

.

Edited by ERipley, 19 August 2019 - 10:16 PM.





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